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Did he leave his cell in his truck to make me feel more important or to hide something from me???

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2007)
A female Canada age 36-40, *ea0289 writes:

my boyfriend ALWAYS has is cellphone with him...a few days ago he cheated on me, i found out by looking thru his phone when he was asleep because i had a severe gut feeling...and confronted him, he admitted it and were trying to work things out (thanks for everyones help on here) but last night when he stayed the night he left his phone in his truck.. is this because theres more he is hiding... or he just wants me to feel more important by leaving his phone there while were together?

View related questions: cheated on me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

Go with your first inital stinct!!! Its usually the right one!

My boyf used never hide his cell fone or have any Pin numbers or locks etc on it, was always left out on the table. Again he never used to have it on silent but all of a sudden it was and putting it under his pillow when he was asleep & just been really secretative about his cell. I said nothing but had my suspicions

I ended up losing my own cell and buying one identical to his - (not on purpose) but in a rush going out one nite he picked up mine and left his one at home. Thats how I found out he was having an affair with my best friend for months!!!

Trust is everything in a relationship, takes a long time to build up and once its gone....... its very hard if ever to build up again.....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007):

Go with your first inital stinct!!! Its usually the right one!

My boyf used never hide his cell fone or have any Pin numbers or locks etc on it, was always left out on the table. Again he never used to have it on silent but all of a sudden it was and putting it under his pillow when he was asleep & just been really secretative about his cell. I said nothing but had my suspicions

I ended up losing my own cell and buying one identical to his - (not on purpose) but in a rush going out one nite he picked up mine and left his one at home. Thats how I found out he was having an affair with my best friend for months!!!

Trust is everything in a relationship, takes a long time to build up and once its gone....... its very hard if ever to build up again.....

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A female reader, aunty t Ireland +, writes (11 March 2007):

aunty t agony auntYou need to trust your gut on this one. If he carries his phone with him all the time and suddenly leaves it in his truck then he doesnt want you to look through it again. Understandably so but this doesnt help you, you are obviously suspicious that there is still something going on. Even though he knows you are feeling this way so if he is cheating he will probably delete the evidence. You know him best and you have to decide if you think he is cheating on you. When trust breaks down in a relationship it is very hard to get it back. Will you ever trust him again?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007):

hi, i found out the same way that an ex was cheating on me and we tried to work it out but then he put a lock on his fone so i couldnt get past the keyguard.. unfortunatly i found out he cheated again.. really i shouldnt have looked through his fone, but im glad i did because i didnt need someone breakin my heart. what he did was way worse! but, id give benefit of doubt here, maybe he left it there by mistake... if he does it every night, then maybe u should ask him about it? i dont think u were wrong to look thru it, always trust ur gut feelings, u dont want to be made a fool of so u did what u had to do... x

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2007):

Farris agony auntThis is always a really tricky situation... You shouldn't have been looking through his phone, but he shouldn't have been cheating on you.

It sounds like a lot of trust has been lost between the two of you, which is no real surprise in this situation, but you have to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. You confronted him about this and he wants to work it out. Give yourselves a chance to work through it before you start accusing him of anything.

If you find out that he is still cheating on you, then leave him without a second thought. Don't even give him the chance to apologise because he obviously didn't mean it the first time that he did, so those words should mean nothing to you.

If you stay together and although he stays faithful, you just find it too hard to stay by him and believe him, then it's probably time to end the relationship too.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007):

First of all, he cheated on you, and if he has any repect whatsoever for your relationship he will let you see and ask anything that you want. If not, I think the guy is a loser and doesn't get that trust is earned, not demanded.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007):

My ex was a trucker and had a cell phone and truck phone, I caught him cheating by going through his cell phone. He swore it was over, but would always hide his phone, then put a password lock on it so I couldn't snoop, he was angry that I'd looked in the first place, so I got the blame or snooping. He would also put the phone on 'silent' when he was with me, I caught him again when he was asleep and forgot to password protect it. Men are liars and will go to great lengths to avoid detection, but women have intuition and are usually one step ahead as men always leave a trail of evidence! Once a cheat always a cheat, the trust gets ruined, sex is never the same, best to dump cheater and move on and get with a more respectful partner.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2007):

cd206 agony auntI think it's a third option, that he doesn't trust you with his phone so he's trying to keep it away from you. That doesn't mean he necessarily has anything to hide, just that he doesn't want you looking through what he considers to be his private property again. Unless you can work through these trust issues your relationship is over. You need to decide right now whether you can forgive him for what he did and trust him again and if you don't think you can then you need to talk to him.

CD

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntHmmm it sounds dodgy. I dont have a clue how it would make you feel more important by leaving his phone, but I know one thing's for sure: if he doesn't have his phone on him, u cant check through it again like last time

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