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... Send *arris a private message | | | *arris's profile:I'm 20 year old female, living in the UK, who probably isn't the most experienced sexually or in the world, but have a WIDE range of friends, which has given me the supporting role to all these people.
My friends have always come to me for advice, and I kind of pride myself on my balanced view of most situations. At the end of the day, I just really want to help people. =) |
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Why is no one interested in taking it beyond 'casual sex' with me?
Q. Hi, I'm 38 and I haven't had a boyfriend since 2000. I take care of myself -- I'm well-educated, slim, sociable, good job etc -- but no one is interested in taking it beyond the casual sex stage. At one point, I went two years without even the...
A. 4 March 2007: My personal opinion is that you shouldn't have sex with someone that you don't already feel that bond with.
Maybe men feel the same way... Therefore when you sleep with them they don't see it as anything more than casual sex, some men might ev... (read in full...)
How can a man last longer while having sex?
Q. how can a man last longer havin sex?...
A. 4 March 2007: Not being a man myself, I can't give any personal experience advice, but from previous partners and friends, I've heard that basically it just takes practice. You learn what really turns you on and then just kinda hold yourself back.
Some people j... (read in full...)
He's married and we have been together for 4 years! He claims he doesn't sleep with his wife..is this true?
Q. I have been with a married man four two years and he say he has not slept with his wife at all. i just find that hard 2 believe cause we have sex like crazy i need some help....
A. 4 March 2007: Well, if you & he are having sex like crazy, then it's obvious why he hasn't been with his wife. He gets all his sexual gratification from you.
I think you need to step back from the situation and ask yourself why you're with a man who would sl... (read in full...)
We dated 10 times, he said it wouldnt work out, but we still did the couple thing, but now hes slagging me off!!
Q. dear cupid i am really confused this boy went out wid me bout 10 times but it was finished he said he still liked me but it just wouldnt work out but he still wanted to hold my hand and do stuff that couples would do (confusing). but...
A. 4 March 2007: Forget about him. He just sounds really immature.
Move on and be with people that have no problem appreciating you.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Trying to get pregnant but it's not working! He does smoke weed..would that affect this process?
Q. I have had sex so many time with my boyfriend and hes always cummed in me but im not pregant and we r trying and it doesnt work... WHy does that happen??? By the way he does smoke WEED!...
A. 4 March 2007: I don't think that I need to add another "Don't get pregnant!" message here, because I think you can already read that sentiment everywhere else on this page... Needless to say, you need to think long and hard about what you're doing, and all the ... (read in full...)
We're going away for 3 days. How can I get my friends to let my bf join us as he dying to come along?
Q. im going away for 3 days to a concert and my bf really wants to come along but one of my friends said no with the reason he doesnt like my bf (he never met or spoke to my bf) but he bringing his gf who i hate . we only be all together in between ...
A. 4 March 2007: If your friends can't accept who you're seeing then they aren't very good friends.
Take your boyfriend and tell your friend how selfish & childish he is being.
Good Luck.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hired male strippers for my birthday, but I don't want them!
Q. I was told by a good friend that my boyfriend had spent £3,000 on hiring male strippers for my birthday. They said they'd got some evidence about it which was too upsetting to reveal. I found the evidence of it at home: loads of bills for male s...
A. 4 March 2007: Be honest. You could either do this directly, by confronting him and telling him that you know what he's done and how you feel about it. Or you could be more delicate about it and try to bring up the topic of strippers in conversation.
It's ... (read in full...)
I'm 19, she's 14. I don't want to wait years and years. What should I do?
Q. I have a question for you all, that I really need help with. There's this girl that I have been talking to for a little while now. I am 19 years old, and she's 16. Her and I have actually already talked about getting together and all, but now it ...
A. 4 March 2007: I think there's no reason why you can't be together now... BUT I would question how much you like her if you're not willing to wait around for her to be at a more "appropriate" age?
There are ways to be together, aside from the age differen... (read in full...)
Could a straight guy fall in love with a gay guy ?
Q. Is it possible for a straight guy to fall in love with a gay guy I,m 41, he,s 25 I,m gay he,s straight we get along really well buy he,s very anti-gay I think he suspects that I,m gay but doesn,t seem to bother him Should I let him make the first m...
A. 4 March 2007: I'm sorry honey, I don't know what to tell you.
Sure, you could argue that this man is still young and could still be unsure of his preference, which is true... But if he has outwardly expressed that he is completely straight then you have to ... (read in full...)
Im 13, would it be okay to ask a boy out or should I wait for him to ask me ?
Q. i am thirteen and i like a boy in my year my friends say he likes me because he flirts and looks at me a lot is it ok to ask a boy out or should i wait for him to ask me out? ...
A. 4 March 2007: Tbh, if you both like each other than sooner or later one of you is going to say something. In this day and age there is absolutely no reason why the girl can't ask the guy out... So what are you waiting for?!!
Let us know how it goes.... (read in full...)
My boobs feel heavy and hurt, im two weeks past due and havent had sex, but did in Nov, had 2 periods since, what do you think ?
Q. i know many people may ask this question but my boobs feel realy heavy and they hurt my period was due a few weeks ago i have not had sex although i was forced to in november and that is being delt with. i have had two periods since then and i was ...
A. 4 March 2007: I've had this same feeling with periods... But it seems completely random (It's not the same every month). I went to the doctor, and was told that it was nothing; just hormones.
If you keep feeling this way, then you should really get it checked ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...
Q. Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...
A. 4 March 2007: I joined Dear Cupid when I wanted advice on a situation I was in... It's so simple to completely spill out your deepest darkest feelings without any worry of how it will effect the people you love; after all, the internet is pretty anonymous. But ... (read in full...)
He was my one true sweetheart but that was over 10 years ago! We are still in contact but hes married, I love him more now than ever, what should I do ?
Q. Hi,I HAD to talk to someone about this because I am so confused and devastated. I was only 16 but found the love of my life and he had said I too was his first true love and I never stopped loving him. The only reason we broke up was because his mom ...
A. 28 February 2007: Tell him to make up his mind. He either wants to be with his wife or he wants to be with you. He can't have both.
I know it's difficult, but even if he says he wants you yet won't leave his wife because of the children, you have to walk away. He... (read in full...)
Been dating 3 years, but he doesnt even give me money for lunch!!!
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 yrs. I am at school, he does not even give me money for taxi fare's and not even for lunch but he is working. Is this right or i am greedy please help...
A. 28 February 2007: I don't think that he should GIVE you money. He worked and earned that money for himself, and you don't have the right to take that away from him just because you're dating.
On the other hand, I do believe that it's a little mean of him not to o... (read in full...)
Is these advice sites for real?
Q. NEED ASSURANCE FROM AGONY AUNTS.. I came across some material that said that some of the information or questions that are posted on sites like this (dearcupid.org) are made up so as to make them popular. Also the information displayed is not...
A. 28 February 2007: I've posted questions in the past... I don't see why the other ones aren't real too?
Sure there may be immature kids out there posting fake questions, but what does that matter? What are a few made up situations, compared to the hundreds of other... (read in full...)
Should I be worried the he refused sex, but then jerked off the next morning!?
Q. i have a bf, we have been going out for 2.5 years now, and do have sex. just the other night, i assumed we would have sex, but we decided not to since we do it almost 4-5 time a week (!?!?) any way, that very next morning, i saw my bf jerk off.....
A. 28 February 2007: The question is, when you're with him do you have sex or do you make love? The difference in phrasing is tiny, but there are massive differences between them.
In this case, your boyfriend probably turned you down, simply because he wasn't in the m... (read in full...)
I spent 6 months getting over her, then saw her again and now im back at square one! Please help!!
Q. I'm currently still undergoing the getting over the ex-gf phase. It's been 6 months now since she left me, and during these six months i've been trying really hard to get over her. I've been going to the gym everyday, going out with friends and ...
A. 28 February 2007: Getting over someone is one of the hardest things to do, and your exact situation is an example of that; one step forward, two steps back.
Do not fret... You spent time and energy going into all sorts of great activities that have helped eased th... (read in full...)
My ex-fiance of 3 years still keeps in contact even though she is engaged to someone else, is she just playing me ?
Q. Hi all, I am 39, and have been broken up with my ex-fiancee for the past 3 years. We have both kept in contact during that time, even while dating others. She is living with someone and engaged. Yet, still, she will see me, spend time at lunch, o...
A. 28 February 2007: I think that she's seriously confused. You really need to sit her down and talk to her about this. Let her know what she's doing to you, and that it feels like she's stringing you along. Question her why she's engaged when she's not thinking about ... (read in full...)
Have I got enough best friends and is it normal ?
Q. I have to ask if the type of friendship I have is ideal. I have 5 best friends who I would go on holiday with. Apart from one of them who is a girl. After that, I have several friends who I'm good friends with and would go to their parties, but not ...
A. 28 February 2007: I have one best friend; my amazing boyfriend. He & I share everything, have great fun together, and really care for one another.
Aside from this, I have two more friends that I would call "close", although I barely speak to either of them anymore.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been depressed for a while now and I don't know what else to do to help him?
Q. i dont know what ells to do! my boyfriend for the last year is going through a depressed point and is allways accusing me of hateing him and wanting to find someone ells to be with, i have done all i can to get past this object so far, i dont want ...
A. 27 February 2007: I was in a relationship like this for a while, and I thought that by loving him and giving him my all would help him to get better... It turned out that I ended up feeling like he OWED it back to me. I began to resent him for taking so much from me ... (read in full...)
How do you "jack off?"
Q. Ok im a bit embrassed by asking this question but how do u jack off? i dont know how and i think all guys should know how to. sorry if this sounds stupid ...
A. 27 February 2007: There is no right or wrong way. You do it to get yourself off... You will find out what does it for you. It doesn't matter what everyone else does.
Experiment with yourself and find out what you like; that's kinda the point!
Have fun. =)... (read in full...)
My partner has been engaged 3 times in the past, he says he loves me but never talks about our "future." Should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He was engaged 3 times before. First time he was in his early-mid 20s. Second time he was was in his early 30s and last time in his mid-30s. I have never brought up marriage to him. He ...
A. 27 February 2007: I think that he's just trying not to make the same mistakes again. His past engagements probably didn't work out because they were moving too fast.
If you're not ready to get married, then it's good that he doesn't want to marry you yet, isn't it... (read in full...)
I am emotionally attracted to this person but not sexually... yet!
Q. I am in a relatively fresh relationship with someone, we have deep feelings for eachother, they want to take it to the bedroom with me and have sex. I myself am emotionally attracted to this person, but i am not attracted sexually. I don't want to ...
A. 27 February 2007: Don't be pressured. Tell them that you're just not ready for sex with them yet.
Give it time, and if you REALLY like this person then your physical attraction will grow as you care about them.
And when this happens & you're ready to sleep w... (read in full...)
I dont know if I have something wrong with me, but I think mentally cheating on someone is way messed up.
Q. I have been with myboyfriend for one year last month. During that year I found out that he was emailing his stripper ex girlfriend and telling her how much he needed her and she would write back the same, never mind that she was MARRIED. I dont know ...
A. 27 February 2007: You should talk to your boyfriend, but considering he's going behind your back to "spite" you, I think that the result isn't going to be great.
Tell him that you know about him cheating (on your feelings... Obviously don't accuse him with anything... (read in full...)
Help! I've just found out my boyfriend is using me.
Q. help i just found out my boyfriend is using me, he lives with his parents and i met him online he had me send him stuff all the time for him and his son thousands of dollars said he needed money needed toys for his son, he was doing without food. ...
A. 26 February 2007: I feel really bad for you, honey. This man is NOT worth your time and definitely NOT worth your money.
Move on as soon as possible, and do not give him the time of day anymore. Even if he was taking the relationship seriously, a person who take... (read in full...)
I need different sexual positions to spice up our love life, any ideas?
Q. ive been with my fiance since i was 13 and im now 21 and we have had regular sex since then but i want to try something different maby different positons and things!!!! buti dont want to say anything to him as he might think im getting bored help? x...
A. 26 February 2007: I'm surprised that you haven't already worn out the Karma Sutra!
The best way to get around this with little embarrassment, is when you're starting to get intimate with him, talk to him dirty and mention a few things that you might like to do. I... (read in full...)
Do guys prefer experienced girls?
Q. do guys prefer experienced or inexperienced girls? im nearly 20 and lost my virginity and did alot of "sexual exploring" with my first boyfriend when i was 16 but thats it. ive kissed guys but havnt felt ready to do anything more untill now, but now ...
A. 26 February 2007: Only make love with someone who you know you could tell all this to and have them not run away.
I only lost my virginity when I was 18. It doesn't matter what you've done with who, or how long ago. What matters is you're there in the moment w... (read in full...)
Do you think he told me his true feelings when he was drunk?
Q. I fancied this guy for some months (we lived in different countries). and he stayed at my place for one month and went back to his country recently. During the month he stayed at my place, we spent a lot of time together. We had sex, too. ...
A. 26 February 2007: Ask him!
You have nothing to lose. You don't have him there now and you're lonely. If you don't ask him how he feels then you won't ever have him. If you ask him, and he does have feelings then you get so much and it's worth the risk!
Obvious... (read in full...)
Am I stupid that I keep taking her back?
Q. Hey. I'm a 16 y/o boy and i need help. I'll start at the beginning, I met this girl wen she was going out with my best m8. She started texting me, telling me she wanted me and not him. I tried to keep away as he is my best mate and it wouldn't ...
A. 26 February 2007: Yes, she is playing you. You're just being tagged a long with a whole string of other guys.
I know it hurts, but don't let her do this to you anymore. Just don't contact her anymore. If she asks you why, then tell her you don't appreciate her trea... (read in full...)
Am I being nasty by not telling him about the abortion while hes away ?
Q. im pregnant and i want to get an abortion ok... im not in the right place to have a child right now as i am at uni and i still have 2 yrs left! the tricky thing is my boyfriend is in the navy and hes just gone away, i know hed respect my dissi...
A. 26 February 2007: Definitely tell him.
There's absolutely no reason to even hesitate as you know that he'll support you.
It takes two people to make a baby... He deserves to know, and deserves to share the worry! Just because you're the girl doesn't mean you... (read in full...)
How can I get her to fall back in love with me!?
Q. how can i make the love of my life of 4 years fall back inlove with me after falling out of love. She really is strong minded and hard to break, help me!...
A. 26 February 2007: The best advice I could give is to just continue being yourself; the person she fell in love with in the first place.
Maybe she's just changed?
Either way, just give her all the time and space that you can give her to sort her head out.
Goo... (read in full...)
I'm really confused, Am I gay, or Bi, or straight!?
Q. i am so confused right now and need some advise and have been awake since 8.00 yesterday thinking about it i was curios about some thoughts i had about men so i talked to one of my gay friends about it and he told me to try fantasizing about it i ...
A. 26 February 2007: Be whatever you are!! These days, so long as you're practising safe sex, no one cares. The more experimentation you make, the more you'll understand yourself.
I know loads of people that fantasise about both sexes, but only ever date one... F... (read in full...)
I love my ex, and know she is being cheated on, should I say something even though she may not believe me!?
Q. i posted a question a while ago about how my ex girlfriend was hurt by her new boyfriend and how she came to me for comfort. i also feared that he would do it again but chose not to say anything as i felt my advice would fall on deaf ears. however, ...
A. 26 February 2007: I would steer clear of the situation. Because she's your ex, people would just see you meddling and think you're doing it for yourself, rather than your ex. On the other side of the coin though, DO NOT lie about it. If she asks you straight out ... (read in full...)
Hes seperated from his wife, but often stays at the marital home, am I right to refuse to see him until this is sorted ?
Q. Hello readers, I have fallen in love with a man who is married, but separated from his wife. He lives with a mate who he doesn't really get along with. He and his wife own a lovely city apartment together and as he works different hours to her, he ...
A. 26 February 2007: I think you're being REALLY sensible about this.
DO NOT cave in to him, no matter how much he says he loves you, unless he has the evidence to back it up. When he has completely moved away from his wife and the divorce is final, you can be reall... (read in full...)
When meeting guys in the future, do you think there is anything wrong with 'not' telling them about past sexual experiences?
Q. Hi everyone I've recently lost a partner because he couldnt deal with the number of one night stands I had (4) before meeting him. When meeting guys in the future, do you think there is anything wrong with NOT telling them about that stuff (i...
A. 26 February 2007: I think you should be honest about how many other people you've been with. If somebody judges you on that, it's pretty obvious that they're not meant for you.
You should DEFINITELY tell your partner if you've picked up an STD from someone.... (read in full...)
My guy on the side makes me feel special even though he only wants to have sex with me in the car. What should I do?
Q. I am having a affiar with a 26 year old man. He has a girlfriend and two kids. I have a bf of 3 years i luv him to bits, but he doesnt make me feel special any more and the 26 year old does. Even tho he is just wantin sex i still enjoy being with...
A. 18 January 2007: My personal opinion is that no matter how much you think you love someone, it is NOT ENOUGH if you would ever cheat on them.
You shouldn't be with either of these guys, and there isn't a single person involved that won't get hurt by this. Get out ... (read in full...)
Should I see a doctor for the lump on my neck, or will it go away?
Q. i currently have a problem, my neck on one side at the bottom nearing the shoulder has some sort of lump while the other side is straight. i would like to know is this worth goin to see a doctor or will it just go away in a few weeks??? plzzz hel...
A. 18 January 2007: It's hard to make any kind of diagnosis from here, but if it REALLY worries you, then you should have already booked an appointment! Your Doctor is probably the only one that can give you completely assurance that it's no big deal, and if it is ... (read in full...)
I know it makes you blind, but is this another side effect?
Q. Is it true that when you masturbate it kills thousnads of brain cells?...
A. 6 January 2007: In short, NO!
Masturbation is a completely natural thing, and all of those scare stories are LIES made by people that don't understand that.
Enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)
Should I back off? Should I send her flowers? What should I do!?
Q. I need you guys' help. I am 30 and my girlfriend who recently dumped me is 20. Don't ask me why but we just hit it off. Recently we have been arguing a lot lately and she has changed a lot over the last month and a half. Total time we have dated ...
A. 6 January 2007: I think she's trying to tell you something. And it's a shame that she isn't honest enough to tell you straight out, but it sounds like she's making excuses to hide the fact that she just isn't interested in you for whatever reason.
Being dumped s... (read in full...)
Someone in my family is watching animal porn. Is there something wrong with him?
Q. Should I be concerned if someone in my family is watching animal porn? Is there something wrong with him or is there a reason why they like to watch that? It makes me feel sick about it, but i'm not sure what i'm supposed to think about that. ...
A. 6 January 2007: I'm not expressing any like or dislike to these kinds of films, but I think the people that have said that this guy needs therapy are a little out of line.
The fact that these kinds of films exist mean that there must be a much larger amount o... (read in full...)
He boasted about having anal sex and I was hurt. Am I too innocent for him?
Q. well were do i start....i really love my bf, ive been with him for over 2 years. but he recently told me about him past. Were both 16 and he said he had anal, about a year ago. i felt really hurt. but he said he was sorry and he feels dirty when ...
A. 6 January 2007: Personally, I think the guy is lying, anal at fifteen is a little young. I think he was just trying to make himself seem more like a lad's lad to you; to make you think more of him. It's backfired now which is why he's apologising.
To be honest, ... (read in full...)
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