A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A friend told me she'd seen my boyfriend go to a male strip club 4 times over the last fortnight.I asked her if she was lying, but she said she was working a late-night shift (she's an airport taxi driver) and had seen him. She said she couldn't confront him, as she was on duty, but she confirmed it definitely was him.He apparently went in with two other guys, so I was told.I confronted him about it, and he said "F*** off!! what I do when you're not around is none of my businessWe live together, so what he did was wrong wasn't it?thanks, Laura Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): You have a wedding date set, do you have a ring? Or is this a drive by proposal he has given you?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Ok, he went to a club with a bunch of guys to a club where there were male dancers. Find out who the guys are and are they bi or gay?
I am sorry but no heterosexual male would be caught dead in one of those places.
I think your boyfriend is probably bi-sexual or what they call bi-curious, this happens to a lot of guys in this age group because they want to experiment.....I would be turned off, I would want a guy who already knows who he is, but I can understand why and how it happens and that it may be something that he has to do, and then move on and be a heterosexual man....
This is more common today than it was 20 years ago, I am not gay bashing here, but it is a direct result of the media attention on gay lifestyles and issues, and young people are just bombarded with so much information and have so many choices and decisions to make about who they are and what they believe in, so I understand why it is different now than 20 years ago.
Change is good, but not all change is for the better.
...............................
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (7 March 2007):
 You could go to the strip club and find out for yourself but by not denying it, he kind of admitted it was true.
He does not respect you or care enough about you in this relationship.
Get rid and fast.
Find someone who can give you what you need and can make you happy.
Angel of Love
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): My friend confirmed it was a strip club with male dancers, a friend who was there on a hen night saw him there lusting after the dancers.I confronted him about it but he insisted he wasn't gay, it was all a joke and I don't need to worry.I do have a date set; May 2008.However, he refuses to discuss this any further. I feel upset now and worried about our relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): I don't think it is respectful when in a relationship to go to strip clubs, maybe to a bar for a night out without you is OK, but not great either...I also find his response to your question VERY DISRESPECTFUL!
Do you mean he went into a strip club where there were male dancers? Now that would be a different issue.
Now let's talk about the fact that you are living together.
You do not have a ring and a wedding date planned with this man, correct? Why are you living with him? What could possibly motivate him to make your relationship long term, when you have given him all the benefits without the strings....what is in it for you, other than he has taken you off the dating market and given you the misguided belief that he is yours in the future....men lie, men mislead to get what they want, so you have to start looking at their behavior and what it is telling you instead of their words.
Living together also makes you lose your sense of independence and guys lose respect for women who stick around like that with no real commitment from him, even when they TELL you that is what they want.
Stand up for what you want in this relationship, and do not tolerate disrespect or you will continue to get more of the same.
Good Luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (7 March 2007):
 First of all, you can't stop him doing anything that he wants to do. To some degree, he is right that it's "none of your business"...
Except for the fact that it is TOTALLY your business. If you have a problem with him being in strip clubs, then you have to tell him this. If he can't understand your point of view, or at least accept it, then he doesn't respect you.
It's your decision whether you can allow your man to go to these clubs, but if you're really uncomfortable with it then you shouldn't put up with it and leave him if he's so inconsiderate of your feelings.
Sometimes there are things that neither person in a relationship will budge on, and I'm afraid that simply means that you're not right for each other.
Best wishes.
...............................
|
