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... Send *arris a private message | | | *arris's profile:I'm 20 year old female, living in the UK, who probably isn't the most experienced sexually or in the world, but have a WIDE range of friends, which has given me the supporting role to all these people.
My friends have always come to me for advice, and I kind of pride myself on my balanced view of most situations. At the end of the day, I just really want to help people. =) |
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He wants me out of the house but half of it is mine!
Q. Today my partner has just got back from another weekend away to get away from me. He wants me to move to my mams as things are bad and he doesn't want to be around me. The house is in both our names and i keep refusing to go until he gives me my s...
A. 13 May 2007: Get a lawyer and get what is rightfully & legally yours.
Then leave this pathetic excuse for a man, and get on with your life without his abuse.
You are better than he is, because he's acting like a child.
Good luck & Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend give me an STD?
Q. I have had lumps come recently around my vagina. sores really. which seem to have a yellow hole in the middle and are very sore and stay around a week. They usually come after me and my bf have sex. WE always use a condom. am i alergic to condoms ...
A. 13 May 2007: You should DEFINITELY both get checked out about this. This is definitely not natural, and you should get a doctor's opinion on this.
Sounds like an STD to me, and it's important that you get it sorted as soon as possible.
You should ask your ... (read in full...)
How do I work up my confidence to do more than just kiss him?
Q. I've had lots of boyfriends but i'm always to scared to do anything with them, i'm in a relationship now and i want to do more with him but i'm scared what he will think, i don't have the confidence to do anything else than kissing and none of my ...
A. 13 May 2007: If you're scared then you shouldn't do anything else. This relationship obviously isn't at the stage to go any further. There is no rush.
The time will come when you both feel ready, and things will come naturally, so don't worry about it.
T... (read in full...)
It was more than just sex for me. He got back with his ex and now I feel so used. What can I do to feel good again?
Q. I feel like completely shit!!! I started seeing a guy who i met through a friend immediately after he just finished with his girlfriend.. we spent the night we met chatting about it and i told him that I know how he feel but in time he'll get o...
A. 13 May 2007: First of all, I am sorry that this man used you... Which is clearly what he has done.
Secondly, I know it is slightly taboo to support abortion, but I think you are wise to not bring a child into this situation. I'm not saying that it couldn't... (read in full...)
Do other guys say explicit things during sex ?
Q. I'm a sixteen year old female. My boyfriend of two years is eighteen years old. About two months ago we became sexually active. Sometimes he'll say things explicit things during sex. It doesn't make me uncomfortable.. infact it kind of turns me on ...
A. 13 May 2007: It's kinda funny that you mention he says explicit things when you're actually DOING explicit things. ^___^
Anyways, it's perfectly normal for a lot of people, so don't worry. It's a good thing that you both enjoy and get off on it.
Best wi... (read in full...)
Whats the best time to get my Fiancee pregnant ?
Q. what can i do to get my fiance pregnant. Like i been trying for the past couple of month to get her pregnant but everytime her period comes on. Am i missing her most fertile periods or something and when would her most fertile periods be...?...
A. 13 May 2007: It becomes apparent from your post in the way you say that YOU are trying to get her pregnant, rather than "WE'RE" trying to get pregnant.
It's possible if she doesn't even know about your intentions that she could be on the pill!
If this is no... (read in full...)
When we made out his leg started shaking
Q. When I was making out with this guy his leg started shaking is that a bad sign?...
A. 13 May 2007: Definitely not a bad sign. :) If you're that concerned about it (especially if it continues) maybe you should mention it to him? He might get a little embarrassed if he's nervous or anything like that, but then you can reassure him!
Best wishes!... (read in full...)
I liked her, and now that I've found out she's 13 I feel like a monster!!
Q. This is tearing me apart... About a year and a half ago, when I was 17, I met this girl. There's no other way I can describe it, but it felt like we just "clicked" instantly. She was with another girl who I knew to be 15, so without much though...
A. 13 May 2007: There is absolutely no reason that you can't continue being friends, so long as you feel able to stick to your original thoughts of not taking it any further.
In other words, if you can trust yourself not to do anything that you'll regret, ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any idea why my periods are so strange?
Q. hi its just a short question, does anyone have any idea why my periods r strange?? i dont ge period pains but they kill me with pain it doesnt hurt or give me stomach pains but i get a pain i can not cope with when the blood actually comes o...
A. 13 May 2007: I think I have the EXACT symptoms you have described with my periods. I get a sharp pain on the right side of my abdomen, with a general dull pain in the whole area, spreading to my lower back and inner thighs. I ONLY get this on the first day of ... (read in full...)
She doesn't like me sucking her nipples because her breasts are sore. Could she be pregnant?
Q. When I'm having sex with my girl I love sucking her nipples, but lately she's been saying she doesn't want me to do that to her because I'm acting like a child feeding off of her and she has said that her breasts are sore. Is this normal for a girl. ...
A. 13 May 2007: As everyone else has said, she might be pregnant, and she may be pre-menstrual. Or there is the possibility that she just doesn't like it as much as you do.
The only real way that you can be certain what's going on is to ask her. All you have to ... (read in full...)
I think I caught an STD from cheating and passed it on to my GF. What shall I do?
Q. im 21yrs old and have been in a relationship for over 3yrs. basically got drunk and cheated on my gf, cant remember it happening at all, dont even know what i did. i explained everything and she has been kind enough to take me back. recently i have ...
A. 13 May 2007: It's important that you both get checked out as SOON AS POSSIBLE.
It is then completely down to your girlfriend whether she wants to stay with you even through this.
Good Luck.... (read in full...)
How can I look less nervous without having a face transplant? Any suggestions?
Q. A friend of mine commented that I always look nervous, although I don't necessarily feel that way. I wonder if this is putting guys off, because although I am told I am a wonderful person, men never approach me. How can I look less nervous without ...
A. 4 April 2007: A face transplant is a bit extreme!
The best way I can think to change this is to stare at yourself in the mirror. See what your face looks like when it's relaxed or when you pull an assortment of facial expressions. See what it is that makes yo... (read in full...)
Anybody any good ideas for losing weight ?
Q. I'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to lose weight. I weigh about 70kg (70 x 2.2 = 154 Pounds) and I'm 167cm tall (5 Feet 5 Inches). I feel this is over weight. I'm joining a gym tomorrow and plan to go a few times a week but was ...
A. 4 April 2007: If you feel uncomfortable with your weight within yourself, then there is no harm in trying to become a healthier person. If you feel this way because of the media, then you're doing this for the wrong reasons.
One good way to lose weight is to ha... (read in full...)
I truly love him, but he needs to get his act together, I need someone to join resources with me, not drain mine!!
Q. My past four serious relationships have been with men who are alternately responsible/sweet but no passionate or creative/passionate but irresponsible. Currently I'm with the latter type, and I love him more than anyone I've been with. But it drives ...
A. 4 April 2007: This is a really tricky problem, and my heart really goes out to you on this one. You need to sit him down and tell him your fears.
Tell him how much you care about him, and that there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with the relationship emotiona... (read in full...)
Does sperm die the second it hits the air !?
Q. hi everyone, is it true that sperm dies as soon as it is in contact with air, or is there a chance that it doesnt. me and my parnter are despert to know. we had a mini arguement about this subject. So does it die straight away on the bed sheets. xxx...
A. 4 April 2007: No. Sperm doesn't die the second it hits air... It dies pretty much at the same time it dries up, which as mentioned below can be anything between 30 minutes to 4 hours.
I don't know if you're asking this question relating to any kind of situatio... (read in full...)
is this pain I get after drinking alcohol my Liver!!?
Q. Everytime I drink, the next day I have a pain under the right side of my rib cage. Is this my liver and should I see the doctor? I don't drink all the time, only once a week but probably too much! No more than most teenagers though. Thanks...
A. 4 April 2007: There are way too many different causes for a pain like that... But it very well could be to do with your liver. You really should head on to the doctor to get some tests done, it's the fastest and easiest way to recovery.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
He's my mate and thats all I see him as, he asked me out the other day what should I say!!?
Q. i have a mate and i dont want to go out with him but he is like my best mate and i dont want to upset him. he is bisexual and i respect that i dont have a problem with that as he trusts me but he asked me out the other day what should i do???? ...
A. 4 April 2007: The obvious thing; Tell him that you don't want to go out with him! In the long run, you'll hurt him more by lying to him about this, so it's best just to be honest.
A friendly relationship is very different from a romantic one, and just because ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and still a virgin. Can you tell if someone's still a virgin?
Q. Please, Please, Help me! I'm a 22 year old virgin and I'm about to have sex for the first time. My g/f has has a lot more experience than me. I'm a guy so of course I dont want to come off as incompetent sexually. I also dont want to tell her I'm a ...
A. 3 April 2007: I agree with mitch... If you can't trust this girl enough to tell her that you're a virgin, then you shouldn't sleep with her.
Physically, there's no way to tell whether a guy is a virgin or not... But obviously, if you've never had sex, then you... (read in full...)
We didn't have actual intercourse but he came on the top of my vagina.
Q. Recently i stayed over with my boyfriend and things lead from one thing to another, but didnt lead into sexual intercourse. We both weren't wearing any clothes, and he came on the top of my vagina and he kept moving his penis towards me. Can this ...
A. 3 April 2007: so-n-love's reply was short, but very concise. Yes, you can get pregnant from this.
You ought to look out for signs of pregnancy, such as missing your next period and get yourself to the doctor for a test if you think you could be.
Best wi... (read in full...)
Sometimes when we row, shes refuses to talk to me, I get very angry, is there a way to control such feelings ?
Q. hello some times when i have argemant with my partner she refuses to talk to me even i try to contact her all the time,but no answer and that makes me very angry so is tere is any way to control such feelings. thank you ...
A. 1 April 2007: Hmm... Mixed advice being given on this.
Please just try to recognise that different people act differently in arguments.
Try to explain to her how this issue makes you feel, and I'm pretty certain she'll explain why she does it. Then maybe y... (read in full...)
My mother gives me a message that I am someone to be hated! It has deeply affected me..what should I do?
Q. Dear Agony aunts, Please help. My mother gives me a message that i am someone to be hated whereas many other females give me an opposite message and think that i deserve to be loved and to be treated well. But my mother is also quite strong in ...
A. 1 April 2007: My mother pretty much hates me too... Mainly because being younger than her, I have the chance to do things with my life which she can no longer do.
Maybe you should try to look at the reasons why your mother has said these things to you, and work... (read in full...)
I feel like she is tossing our love aside for her selfish need to experience freedom. Any thoughts?
Q. I dated this girl for nearly 2 years, we're both about the same age. After we both turned 21 she let it out that she just turned 21 and wanted to experience that freedom that goes with it. On top of that, she also wanted it because she is planning ...
A. 1 April 2007: She is being selfish. Sure she might want to travel and so on, but she doesn't need to be single to do that.
She obviously WANTS to be with other men/women... Ergo, she doesn't want to be faithful to YOU. You wouldn't like it if she was "finding... (read in full...)
I told him I loved him, he stayed silent!
Q. I told my boyfriend I loved him and he said nothing what does this mean?...
A. 1 April 2007: It could mean a wide plethora of things... You should ask him directly what it meant, it's the only real way to know!
Try to be okay with it if he says he doesn't feel that way yet; It doesn't mean that he never will! Also, he might just not be r... (read in full...)
His sister is coming between us... Has she not heard three is a crowd!? Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My Partner and i have been living together for 2yrs however we have just moved back to our home town to be closer to both our familes. However his sister is driving me nuts! We plan weekends away and she has begun to invite herself along too( ...
A. 1 April 2007: It is not unreasonable for you to want to spend time alone with your partner, but it's also not reasonable for your partner to want to spend time with his family. You should sit down with him and discuss how much time he spends with each separately ... (read in full...)
Im planning on having sex with him, hes my first, Is it possible for a woman to enjoy sex within a week?
Q. My LDR bf will visit me for his week long spring break in about ten days. I feel I am ready to have sex with him (he would be my first) but he is hesitant because he's worried it will be painful for me and I won't be able to enjoy it within the six ...
A. 20 March 2007: I agree with the comments below but would like to add this:
Don't forget that there are always OTHER enjoyable things you can do with your boyfriend, both sexually and otherwise!
Just remember to have fun!
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for breasts to get bigger before period?
Q. this is going to seem very vauge, but is it normal for breasts to get slightly bigger before your period? xxx...
A. 20 March 2007: It's purely a hormonal thing... Some women's breasts swell, others don't. It's a perfectly natural thing (most of the time).
If it's really freaking you out, then you can always just pop along to your doctors to speak with, but I really wouldn't... (read in full...)
Is it normal for breasts to get bigger before period?
Q. this is going to seem very vauge, but is it normal for breasts to get slightly bigger before your period? xxx...
A. 20 March 2007: It's purely a hormonal thing... Some women's breasts swell, others don't. It's a perfectly natural thing (most of the time).
If it's really freaking you out, then you can always just pop along to your doctors to speak with, but I really wouldn't... (read in full...)
Since we broke up I've slept with 3 people, he knows about 1, should I tell him about the other 2 now we're back together?
Q. My boyfriend and I went out for 3 years... we split up for one year and kept getting together on and off. Now we are seeing how things go getting back together. While we were broken up I slept with 3 people, one of which he knows about... do i tell ...
A. 20 March 2007: It's just going to cause you more problems if you tell him this. I know that honesty is usually the best policy, but unless he asks you directly, I wouldn't tell him anything more.
You shouldn't feel guilty for what you did whilst you were sep... (read in full...)
I am so untrustworthy under the influence of alcohol.
Q. i am so untrustworthy under the influence of alcohol, i flirt and used to yrs ago just kiss men behind my bf back. i now have decided to give up alcohol because i also have blackouts and sometimes get fairly violent. my bf found out that i was ...
A. 20 March 2007: First of all you need to resolve your drinking problems... Obviously just giving up isn't going to help you. You could see a counsellor or maybe join a self-help group such as AA. I'm not saying it's easy, but if you really want to be able to have ... (read in full...)
I'm clueless about how to flirt! Any tips?
Q. Im 16 and im completely clueless about how to flirt without making it obvious! Can anyone give me tips please?...
A. 20 March 2007: Why would you want to flirt and not make it obvious? Isn't that kind of the point? I thought that you flirt with someone that you find attractive, not only to make them feel good, but to make yourself feel good too. If it's not obvious that it's ... (read in full...)
What are the stages we go through when we break up with someone?
Q. hey i was wonderin if anyone new the stages you go through of gettin over someone that you really loved at the moment im at the hating him stage for not loving me lol wots next and wot happened before anyone no what the stages are before FINALLY ...
A. 20 March 2007: There aren't any specific stages; everyone is different. If you really wish to know what's next, maybe you should keep your own diary or journal... That way you can write down how you're feeling every day after a relationship (Or indeed within one ... (read in full...)
What tips have you got to make my heartbreak go away?
Q. hey at the min i am trying to get over i truley loved because there has been a lot that has happened and in the end he decided that he only liked me as a friend and i no i shudnt have done but i sort of had a go at him so he now hates me and he has ...
A. 20 March 2007: You had every right to have a go at him! You were angry because he broke your heart! I think the first step would be to explain this to him. Apologise for the things you said, but you have to make him understand that he had hurt you.
I think if... (read in full...)
Im so self concious of how I look and how I will perform, its stopping me making a go of it with him!!
Q. im 20 and ive fallen for a friend who has just told me he feels the same way but i am very self conscious about my weight and this combined with the very embarrassing fact that ive only slept with one guy and that was 2 1/2 years ago are holding me ...
A. 19 March 2007: This guy has already fallen for you, what can you be so worried about?!! He knows your personality and likes you! Seeing as you two are already friends, he is probably aware of your insecurities, and has no problem with what you do. You say he's not ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to bleed after sex ?
Q. I have had sex many times before, but wasn't having sex for about three months. After this break I have had sex twice and both times bled. Is it normal?...
A. 19 March 2007: Yes, it's pretty normal. In the time you weren't having sex, it's possible that the muscles you weren't using shrunk back; having sex stretched them out again.
If you continue to bleed during sex then you should ask your partner to be a little m... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is acting differently lately, could this be a sign of anything ?
Q. My girlfriend has acted quite differently lately. The other day she said that I couldn't go round her house because I had been there a lot recently and she said we shall leave it tonight. I suggested that she come round mine, but she said she could ...
A. 19 March 2007: Yeah, she just sounds stressed out to me. Give her a little bit of time and space to herself, and see how it plays out. If her attitude towards you doesn't clear up, or she never apologises for this behaviour then you should sit her down and ask her ... (read in full...)
Can a guy and a girl remain best friends with one another even if they both become romantically involved with other people?
Q. Dear cupid and all aunts. Can a guy and a girl remain best friends with one another even if they both become romantically involved with other people? Would that friendship last or gradually become more distant due to having a boyfriend or gir...
A. 19 March 2007: In short; YES! =) It's really not that difficult so long as you make it clear to each of your partners that the relationship between you and your friend is purely platonic. It is possible that the friendship could become distant, but it's up to you ... (read in full...)
He pushed me and almost broke my nose all because I shouted at him!
Q. We just had a terrible fight a few days ago because he was talking to girls on the net and he was really sorry so I forgave him, but tonight he pushed me around onto walls and I thought my nose had broken (it hadn't but it hurts real bad) and then ...
A. 18 March 2007: Yes, you should leave him, no question.
There are some things that you could give a man a second chance to redeem themselves for, but physical abuse is not one of them.
Get out as soon as you can, you have every right to, and he can not make ... (read in full...)
I'm scared he won't like me when we meet because I have a big nose and am really conscious of it.
Q. This guy really likes me and I like him a bit but we haven't met and I am scared he isn't gunna like me when we do. He first met about a week ago when my mate had web cam on to her boyfriend and he was there and when I went my mate's boyfriend said ...
A. 18 March 2007: Your nose size shouldn't matter to him; If he likes you for you then he won't even notice! If it does matter, then he's immature, and really; do you want to be close with someone who cares about stuff like that?
It's probably just your own inse... (read in full...)
He fingered me and I noticed I was bleeding afterwards. What's wrong with me????
Q. I just got fingered by my boyfriend, we have had sex a few time before but this time when I got home I found blood and we didnt have sex. I can't go to the doctors because I'm not allowed to be doing this. I'm really scared and would love it if ...
A. 18 March 2007: If you're too young to face any of the consequences of sexual activity maturely, then you shouldn't be doing it.
The bleeding is fairly common in girls who are just becoming active, and can also happen from a fairly rough session. It's nothing... (read in full...)
Anyone have any tips for toning up upper arms and thighs?
Q. hi, i was wondering if anyone had some tips on how to get rid of arm flab and to lose some weight from the thighs also. I'm trying to slim down, i'm not overweight or anything, i eat healthy and excercise daily but generally i only tend to lose ...
A. 18 March 2007: Cycling is good for bums and thighs. And a standard rowing machine is good for arms, thighs & stomach.
You should google into this for more information (I'm no fitness instructor!)
Just remember, that if you're eating healthy and exercising r... (read in full...)
He says our relationship is moving too fast, should I back off or what?
Q. Thanks in advance to any who answer here. I have been seeing this guy for a momth or so. He recently told me that he comes with too much baggage as his mother is dying of cancer...he feels stressed and he does not want to lead me on and does not ...
A. 18 March 2007: Be his friend, above everything else.
It may be tempting to try to be his saving grace through all this, but you've only been dating him for a month, so he probably won't feel as close to you as he needs from a relationship right now.
His hea... (read in full...)
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