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I am fit and petite but I have no boobs. He's a boob man. Is there any chance that he'll consider me attractive?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 May 2014) 12 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2014)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would you find a woman with a squatting bum, defined stomach/ faint abs and slight thigh gap attractive, even if she was basically flat chested?

I only ask because I'm going to a pool party with the guy i'm dating this weekend and I don't want him to be put off that I have basically no boobs. I work hard for my body and I couldn't have both unfortunately and I figured just over two months ago, I would have to sacrifice not having hardly any boobs if I wanted that body since I knew loosing weight and training they'd go smaller and they were already small to begin with. I'm a petite size and have all of what I said above and I am happy with the result, in fact my friends always go on about how amazing my body is and jealous they are.

But I'm still worried he'll be turned off and not find it attractive because it's not too feminine? He is a boob guy, I've seen the girls his dated with big breasts and the actresses he finds attractive also have big breasts too.

What is your opinion, would you still find a girl attractive who had a body like mine even with very tiny breasts?

View related questions: boobs, breasts, jealous, petite

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (28 May 2014):

Dear OP,

This guy has already seen you and probably knows your breasts are not that big (unless you always wear exaggerated push up bras). So don't worry. At all. Relax, enjoy the date, enjoy to show him your fit body!

He's there because he's interested in you, so just have a good time with him.

And if he's really that shallow and changes his mind, just because you have smaller breasts than a movie star, well ... just say "next" to yourself and look forward to a man who'll like you the way you are. It's about compatibility, not conforming to crippling standards.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 May 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntMy husband loves small petite young Asian women to look at. With light eyes and big boobs... they only come that way in anime porn ya know... but that's his choice.

I am none of the above.

When we met I was a middle aged very saggy woman. I have had reconstructive plastic surgery and ended up with the body of an 18 yr old. then I gained about 30 pounds. He thought me perfect when he met me, he thought me perfect when I was perfect and thin and fit... and now a few years and 30 pounds later he still thinks me PERFECT

I am not young

I am not Asian

I am short but "not petite" I'm a solid middle aged woman with dark eyes and yet I'm the love of his life....

Mature men love the inside.. the wrapping is extra. Any man who would not date you just because of breast size is not a man worth dating.

As a woman who has been every shape and size

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2014):

I was wondering the same as you, but recently I struck up a friendship with a guy who loves big boobs and women with curves, i have hardly any and he was checking me out! :)

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (27 May 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

I will never understand this boob thing…

Let put this to the test….If men had boobs like women, in different shapes and sizes, and women were also attracted to men’s boobs the way we are to yours. In the end, what would make a woman want to keep a man??? Would it have anything at all to do with his boob size? Or many OTHER factors like…kindness, love, a sense of humor, and honesty.

In the end however…it will all boil down to sex. If he is good in bed and how he makes you feel in bed, will be the number one reason for keeping him. Same goes for the woman with small boobs. Those passionate moments are what lock two people together.

You have what we want…and ultimately…it is not your boobs we are after.

If a man only sees boobs then he will never see the real you, and it will never work anyway.

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (27 May 2014):

Atsweet1 agony auntSmall breast do the same work as bigger breast. He may not be that into size of breast as you are considering. He may find other things to his liking that are more valuable then boobs. He may be into your eyes smile personality your mind those qualities are the main focus first. Dont worry Im.sure what you have is enough.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 May 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt But you are dating, so he has SEEN you already. Not in a bikini, ok, but still I am sure he noticed you are no Dolly Parton. If that has not bothered him so far, why should it start bothering him at the party ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI can only echo the other aunties and uncles.

If he doesn't WANT you in ALL your glory (small boobs and all) then he isn't for you.

We all have a preference of what we like, but I do think being smart, funny, caring, fit, healthy is MORE important then the size of a woman's boobs or a man's penis.

YOU worked hard to GET your body to the point you are now, WOULD you go back to how it used to look for a little more FAT TISSUE on your chest? Seriously?

Are you JUST a walking set of BOOBS or are you a person.

Don't ever let anyone try and convince you that YOU are not enough.

Now go get the HOTTEST bikini or peek-a-bo swimsuit and have fun at the party.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 May 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntHere's my advice for handling the pool party this weekend: be yourself, be fit, be healthy, be happy to be with your friends.

If he doesn't like you just exactly as you are then he's not the guy for you.

If you think your femininity begins and ends with your boobs then you are selling yourself short.

If the only criterion for being his girlfriend was to have a large breast size then he would have stayed with one of the exes, no?

If you are suffering anxiety based on your breast size this is something that can be dealt with by mental health professionals.

Just as this site used to see loads of questions from men asking if their penises were too small, this site is seeing too many questions from women asking if their breasts are too small.

You are lovely just as you are and if he turns out not to be 'the one' then there are millions of men out there who will find you wonderful and attractive, just exactly as you are.

So, are your boobs or are you more than that? Decide.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (27 May 2014):

If he doesn't like you with small boobs, forget about him; he's the wrong guy for you. There are countless guys who would love to have a girl with your physique.

I started losing my hair in my mid twenties and it was pretty upsetting. I'd wonder if this or that girl would like me because of it. It turns out some women wouldn't date me, others could care less. So I stopped worrying about what people thought of me, because if someone doesn't like something about me there are plenty of girls who do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2014):

You have to understand what we see in "fantasy and dreams" isn't the same as what we want and desire in reality. He's just a date for now; so if it turns out he's not satisfied with the fine woman you are, then I guess he doesn't measure up to the man you deserve.

Stop and think about your "ideal" guy, with all the physical and character attributes you've ever wanted. Compare your dream-guy to the guy you have. He may not measure up to the guy of your dreams and fantasies; but you're attracted to him just as he is.

I don't know why women think men can't really care for the woman they have? Why do you think he is going out with you, if he could find a woman with big boobs instead? What if he has a tiny dick, will that make a difference to you?

You're asking if we other guys would like your body-type? Apparently there is something your date really likes about you, and from your description you're a petite little hottie. All women don't have big boobs and all guys don't have big penises. So we can't pass up the fantastic people we meet not possessing these endowments, now can we?

If and when you find a guy who doesn't like you for who you are, and what you look like. You've got the wrong guy.

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A male reader, LuvHurts United States +, writes (26 May 2014):

I consider myself a "boob" guy, but thats not the only thing i look for in a relationship. i have dated a girl with small breast as well and did find her attractive. big boob is probably just a preference for him. if he loves you, he will look pass that. i train hard myself so i understand fully how hard it is to keep the "fit look" and the sacrifices that need to be made. i say, go to the pool party, slap on a hot bikini(if it's your thing), and enjoy your time there with him.

"Confidence comes from within"

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2014):

You're asking the wrong question really. You should be asking yourself whether you want to be with a man who would judge you just on boobs.

I am hoping that he is a decent enough guy to see that you're a perfectly normal woman, who isn't just a pair of breasts. There's nothing wrong with you at all, and if he isn't interested just because of that, then he's not worth the bother.

The right man will accept you as you are. You don't need to change for any man, and you don't need to worry about breast size for the sake of a man.

And to answer your final question, I've dated women with different breast sizes, hip sizes, leg sizes, hair colour - everything. And not once, ever, have I judge a woman on one thing like that.

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