A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For many years now i've know that I wasn't 100% straight, I use to masturbate to gay porn, loved it as much as straight porn, however I lived a "normal" life and began having sex with girls, which I enjoyed always and never had a probably performing, in fact I often have problems performing to quickly but thats besides the point. I met this gay guy, told him about my life and after some chatter he performed oral sex, I loved it, but oral sex is oral sex right? I left it about a year before going back to this guy, we met up several times and he preformed oral sex much to my satisfaction! I once tried giving oral to him but I didn't like it, at all! I never really look at this guy I think "you're hot, I want to bum you/or be bummed by you" nor do I ever see guys in the street and think they 're hot, but I continue to find women attractive and be able to preform, and in turn I continue to find gay porm attractive! Am I just a bisexual man who's subconsciously stopping himself from accepting what he is or is sexuality open? Is it black and white or is it possible to enjoy everything? Your thoughts are welcome as I am stumped!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 June 2013):
Dear OP,
I'm female, bisexual and I enjoy several kinds of sex. But that took a lot of time to figure out. I used to think I was a 100% lesbian. Then I thought it was all a mistake and I am 100% straight. It took a while until I could accept that I am a little bit of everything. It's a process of identification and soul search that takes more than a one-time experiment.
So. I guess it really could be both:
1) You just like gay porn (visually) but you're not gay in real life
2) You're actually bi but you're subconsciously scared
What I recommend you is to not try and put a label on your sexuality too early in life. Sexuality can be something fluid, changing and vague. If you're bisexual, it can be difficult because society and even gay/lesbian people can be intolerant and wanting you to "choose". There's some pressure on bisexual people to be an either/or. Cause there's the straight dating scene, the gay dating scene, and not much in between.
But you don't have to make a choice. You're young. Go ahead and try out. There's no other way to know. You can't find out what turns you on sexually by making assumptions from porn or by thinking it through. Or by constantly asking yourself "do I want to f**k him? Or not?"
Believe me, I've been through this phase of wanting to sort everything out. And it just didn't work.
This one experience might or might not mean you're never going to like d**k. Besides, how many women call themselves straight and don't like to give bj's? Just let things evolve naturally and allow yourself to experiment or follow your desires when they come up. And allow yourself to make one or two experiences that you'll later refer to as "mistakes". You also learn from them.
Another thing is that most bisexual people like sex with both genders, but they have one sex that they prefer to have a relationship with. For instance, you might end up finding you like the heat of man-to-man sex, but can only imagine a relationship with a woman.
To sum it up: You need to figure this out yourself, this is a personal thing that no one can find out for you. I wish there was some oracle, or expert, that could tell you, but there's nothing else but experience and your inner voice to rely upon.
Stay safe and have fun.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 As a straight guy who loved blow jobs once said to me "who cares if it's a man or a woman a mouth is a mouth"
I think you like blow jobs since you giving one did not excite you much.
I am a bisexual woman who has given up all others for a male spouse. I MISS girl time. both giving and receiving.
I'm thinking you just like blow jobs and liked this guy.
Sexuality is NOT black and white.
I know some girls who consider themselves bi but will not go down on a woman...
as long as you are happy and no one gets hurt... do you really need to slot yourself this way?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2013): For some reason I can't help thinking this is more a porn related issue than one of sexuality. However, dealing with the sexuality point first - it is not completely black and white, straight or gay ...experts think there are many shades in between and most people fit somewhere towards either end of the spectrum. Sexuality may also be fluid, so don't box yourself off particularly.
Stop watching porn and see where your desires and emotions take you.
...............................
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