A
female
age
30-35,
*rissy93
writes:I am 19 and I work part-time as a server. We have this kind of newish manager, he's 31, that started about 5-7 months ago. When he first started working there, I HATED him. I mean seriously disliked the guy. He was arrogant, rude, cocky an demanded respect automatically. What really made me mad was he was mean to me a lot. I mean I joked around and was very sarcastic back but some of the things he said to me were just rude. Anyways, the General Manager held a meeting with a couple of co-workers and I and we just talked about things that needed changing. And during the meeting, they were hinting things about him, he was basically being attacked, they never mentioned his name but i knew who they were talking about. I felt bad, walked him in to the walk-in fridge and told him all the things that were said what he needs to change, and after that conversation, my whole view on him changed!!Flirting started happening, at first it was just glances between us, then him "accidentally" brushing my butt when he walked by. Then it started to get a bit more intense, him calling me sexy, telling me how he wants to smack my ass, how hot I look. And it maybe bad to admit, but I love it!! I love knowing that all i have to do is touch him and I'm affecting him sexually. We both know what we do to each other and are each well aware that we want to have sex but cant because hes the manager and im a server.Well yesterday just raised the bar for any and every little flirting action that was going on for the past couple of months.Yesterday the sexual tension between us was an all time high. We kept giving glances, we'd check each other out, he was telling me how sexy I am, etc. Well we were out of salad dressing packets and I asked where they were in the walk-in (i was secretly hoping that he'd walk with me and go in with me...he did!! :]). He showed me where they were and he was standing really close. he gave me this 'i want you so bad' look then started to walk out, but he turned around and walked back to me with a fierce sexy predatory "im going to take you and have my way with you" look, but was disappointed when he just turned and left. about 15 mins after he walked to me and told me "I cant take this anymore, I'm about to pop" I then responded "you and i both". he went to go eat, and i had to get him to sign something and i told him, if he wants to do something, he needs to do it. man up and and lets have sex lol. he said definitely and that we really need to talk about it. I then raised my cell phone and said "well you know how to reach me" and he replied "yes, i definitely need to get your number". Basically what I'm asking.. Should i have sex with him if he does want to do it? it would just be a friends with benefits thing and we wouldnt tell anyone else because we dont want to get fired. i dont know if this is relevant but he's divorced, no kids
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co-worker, divorce, flirt, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): Go home and masturbate to him like us guys do when we shouldn't have what we want at the time, and be done with it. Getting involved with your boss for sex is a really bad idea and you are more than likely going to be the one who is going to pay dearly for it. You are going to be in way over your head. This guy is not new to this cat and mouse game, he knows exactly what he's doing and he's playing you for a fool. This would make for a great undercover restaurant show, where hidden cameras video tape all the idiots who do inapporpriate/reckless/unprofessional things at the work place and get busted for it. Be careful, big boss could be watching!Why not go find a guy who doesn't work for the same place and someone who is a little closer to you in age. This guy is bordering pervert status, creeping around girl who's not even out of their teens yet. Not cool.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): I could understand you not realizing the ramifications of getting involved with a boss/manager at your age, but there is NO exuse for your boss/manager. He really should know better than to get anything like that going. And he should know that at work you keep it professional at all times. That guy is completely out of line and has no business being a manager.You think your sexual tension is high now? You will not believe how high the tension will be when he nails you, mission accomplished and he is on to the next young girl that intrigues him in the work place. It will be unbareable to work on the same shift. People WILL find out, girls WILL begin to compare notes, the guys will find out and let the drama begin...it will not be as simple as having sex with this guy and that's the end of it. It will not be ANYTHING like FWB. Don't even think it will. And when the poop hits the fan, you will be the one who gets it all over you, not your manager. Is it REALLY worth it just so you can have sex with this older man???If you do it anyway, may the force be with you lol... you are going to need it, big time.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (1 November 2013):
 as someone who has worked in the restaurant industry in the U.S. for a long time, and am continuing to do so now while i'm finishing up school, i would say it's relatively normal for managers to sleep with their co-workers. it's not like any other profession. it's an extremely unproffesional business. it's really sad, to be quite honest. personally, i know plenty of co-workers who have slept with our managers. all the drugs and shady business that goes on in restaurants is just crazy. in fact, my roomie supplies our GM with pills. how else would she get such great sections? lol.
that being said, i'm not encouraging it. i would be surprised, though, if anyone gave a damn. everything goes in restaurants. do what you want. sleep with him if you care to. just be prepared for people to talk. that's the one thing i would look out for. other servers may notice the favoritism.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 November 2013):
 If you don't care about keeping your job.... go ahead and have sex with the guy....
IF you DO like your job, and want to keep it.... then forget it (sex with this guy)....
Your choice....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 November 2013):
 What is it that made you come here to ask this question? Are you having doubts?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 November 2013):
You're a grown woman, it's your choice.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (31 October 2013):
 NO you most certainly should NOT have sex with your manager!
Do you want to lose your job and get a bad reputation into the bargain? If so, go right ahead.
However, the whole idea is completely crazy.......
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (31 October 2013):
Dear OP,
Are you willing to risk your job? If yes, go ahead. If you somehow need this money and some financial safety.. don't do it. Apologize and say this has already gone too far and you think it's a bad idea in the end.
To me, the guy still sounds like an asshole. I mean, come on, him accidentally "brushing" your ass and telling you he wants to smack it.. it's not like he's such a gentleman and everything. He's an alpha-male and his confidence might seem attractive to you now.. but he's so much into himself that he won't have any remorse playing with you and then exchanging you when he gets bored. And that might include removing you from your job.
Of course, I don't know him and he might be some total exception and deep down a very nice person etc. but I need to guess from what I'm reading. And if I just judge from the information you gave us, I'd say you're in trouble.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2013):
 NO do not sleep with your manager.
it will get out
and YOU will be the one who is harmed by it not him.
just say NO
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013):
Look honey if he was genuinely interested and here's you laying yourself on a plate all you need is the apple and there you go . He would have made a point of getting your number, and here's you pressuring him into something that clearly he doesn't really want .
And we haven't even started on about his attitude .. Look this is just plain crazy .. Keep clear .. Don't put yourself in a position .. That could mess with your job .
Take care .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (31 October 2013):
 No, he is your manager and these first impression you got is most likely who he really is. It's not hard to fake being nice and "flirt" with the young girls so they don't complain about him.
You ever heard the expression, don't crap where you eat? That means... don't date where you work. Can you just imagine if this turns sour? (and I think it will you are only 19 he is 31). One of you will most likely have to move store or get another job and guess what? It's rarely the manager who gets let go.
Think, use some common sense and then apply it.
Even a FWB can STILL get you fired. And it's STILL inappropriate.
My guess it he just want some young piece of ass and right now YOU are it.
No sexy flirting, no sexting, no FWB, if you have any sense at all.
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