A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This maybe a silly question.. but its not meant to be in a crude way.. but lately I've been finding I'm very sexual frustrated, understanding as I have been without a partner in 3 years.. but lately this year it has been worse, I keep seeing attractive girls in times I can't talk to them as I am working, but I want a girl who I like, and find attractive.. not just a quick thing.. I've always been well reserved but lately its gettin to me.. What's the best way to.stop been so frustrated? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for the advice guys, I must admit I do mainly live a solo life.. which doesn't help.. its so annoying as when I was younger I didn't have issues talkin to women as I had confidence I guess..
Also I'm an old fashioned dude which doesn't help as I end up either looking not intersted or indeed gay ha.
Also I don't get out of my comfort zone much, but when I do, I usually end up feeling worse about myself ha . Thank you guys I will take on all the advice given.. and try to man up!!
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 August 2013):
Dear OP,
May I add my advice, since I'm also single for 3 years now and I know what you're talking about. So, my recipes:
1) Have a busy social life, go out, party, travel, even if it's just a day trip! Distraction is what makes you happy in times of sexual/emotional frustration. If you stay at home and focus on your loneliness and your unmet needs, you're going to have a bad time. And not solve the problem.
2) Masturbate
3) Don't take everything so serious. Yes I know you want the real thing. But if you're looking too hard for "the one", you miss some opportunities to flirt, have fun or get experience. I'm not saying you should stop looking for a real relationship. Just that you can try to be a bit more playful and open up to women without immediately checking their potential to become your partner.
4) Again, travel. I don't know why, but traveling kind of forces you to improvise and be spontaneous and open. This is really helping with women, too. And it makes you realize what kind of person you are, when you're outside your well-known environment. So, try to get some holidays and explore the world.
I know these advices may sound weird but they helped me get over tough times.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 August 2013):
 Are you looking for a GF at work? Because that is NOT a good idea.
Go out with friends, don't go LOOKING for a GF, but get out and be social, met new people, get a gym membership, pick up a new or old hobby. An who knows maybe you will focus your frustration into something creative or.. you might met a great girl.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 August 2013):
The best way is to fix the problem... Step out of your comfort zone and find a woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): Are you living in isolation?
If you don't get out to make yourself available; your frustration is due to your lack of interpersonal skills, and public exposure.
You would have to be extremely introverted to have such a problem. There is someone out there for everyone.
You're waiting for someone to walk up to you and offer you what you want? There are people who do that for a living.
If you want to make social contacts; that's another issue.
It takes effort on your part. You'll just have to overcome whatever shyness, or awkwardness, that prevents you from approaching women.
Generally, it's the fear of rejection; or the uncertainty of how to maintain an interesting conversation. You have to have game and charm. That can be developed. You can observe other men, and you can also find videos on the subject. Even go on YouTube, and listen to people with suggestions.
It amazes me how people learn intricate video games, and play with complicated electronic devices; and can't handle something as simple as meeting a woman, or making friends.
IT TAKES EFFORT!!! Come out from under the cloak of shyness.
Rejection can happen to even the most confident in people. You just have to put yourself out there, and deal with it.
I'm not quite sure how you can be so sexually-frustrated and be an adult-male. Masturbation is meant to lower your frustrations. It's not nasty, you won't go blind, you might grow a little hair on your palm; but you'll ease a lot of frustration.
The palm is a substitute girlfriend; until you find the real thing. They are truly handy, and always offer you a happy-ending. If you get bored with one; you can always cheat on your right, with the left.
You need to go to the gym, or take up physical activities that can distract you; and get your mind out of your pants.
You'll also create a healthy and attractive physique in the process. You also have to eat a healthy diet. Blubber is unattractive; if you have nothing else to compensate.
If you sit in-doors all day, and never get out of the house; all you do is sit around thinking about what you don't, or can't have. You just become weirder.
However; if you wait until you're totally frustrated beyond reason, you will creep women out. You will come off as spooky, and women are very intuitive creatures. So work off your sexual tensions the way nature equipped you.
Women are not sex objects. They are people. If you approach them, you better have it together. They know what's on you mind, by the look in your eye. Be sure to wear tight underwear, and tuck.
Unless you're approaching some lonely tipsy under/over-weight needy female in a bar situation; you'll never find anything truly meaningful without regularly dating.
Ask someone out for coffee, a movie, dinner, or drinks. If she says no, suck it up; and try another young woman who seems more interested. Believe in yourself. You can find whatever you want.
You have to take chances and not take rejection personally. You can't hide from the world, and think sex is going to just appear out of thin air. You can buy a blow-up doll, or a "flesh-light." (Google it.)
Most horny guys resort to hookup sites. That's risky and usually gets you exposed to weirdos, STD's, or psychopaths.
That would be the usual course of action these days.
The internet, is fishing in a barrel for easy pickups. Regardless of quality; easy access prevails. Huge eeew-factor, dude! Nuts abound, and predators feast.
You have to constantly develop your personality by reading, travel, watching the news, and taking risks. That attracts women. It raises your value as a man.
It takes confidence, a decent measure of self-esteem, and a good nature. Opening up to the world promotes access to people. You get laid.
Network through co-workers, family, and friends. They will set you up; if you're just too sappy to push yourself to get out there and live. Blind-dates may not be totally beautiful; but friends and family will not purposely set you up with a serial-killer. Unless you owe them money.
If you have good qualities, push yourself to approach women and allow them to discover the nice guy you are.
Ladies are a lot more outgoing and assertive these days. That old phony demure and coy stuff, went out with the 20th century. They don't mind asking a guy out. If you don't come off too scary, and aren't too much of a tool. You should also have a job, and decent credit. No STD's, or a crazy ex. If you're well-endowed, you're in like Flint!
Please don't have size-issues. ***Sigh!!!*** Enough of that! Find a very petite woman, and it'll look bigger.
That's not asking too much.
Single women are constantly looking for nice single available men. They are usually frustrated; because there are so many creepy dudes who don't have their acts together.
So many guys spend too much time on video games, and hiding behind devices to have an actual personality. They act like little boys, and dress like a blind-folded 12 year-old. If you want women and don't know how to dress; look at an add for Levy's or Kohls. Be age-appropriate, please.
Most guys who can't get laid are immature for the lack of life-experience, and inept in social skills. Or come off as God's gift, and only date super-models; although they have love-handles, a beer-gut, flat butt, and small package. More eeew-factor.
Sometimes intellectual-type introverts don't realize how appealing being a nerd can be. That is, minus the geek-factor.
Women are often charmed by their intellect and shyness.
Sometimes they crave a challenge from a smart guy. They get all turned on; when you have all the right answers for Jeopardy.
The less-than average guy is intimidated by smart women. If you're bright, and a deep-thinker; they'll be turned on by the brain-muscle. There is so much potential there.
If anything I mentioned is your problem, use your spare time reading up on how to attract women. It will distract you from your frustration, and build you some confidence.
By all means, get your sexual tensions relieved before you approach a female; so you don't look like a dog with your tongue hanging out, and a tent in your pants. That image is not what you want to present to a stranger. Maybe later; if you're fortunate enough to get her home. You have to stay cool; or she'll flee and/or mace you.
When you get over-whelmed. Rub one out. Take a cold shower, and get yourself a stationary bike to work off that unspent energy. A tight touche will also be quite appealing to females.
I hope my humorous approach doesn't offend you. I truly do understand what you're feeling. I just want to help you to lighten up a bit. I also used your post, to reach out to other guys who have similar issues. That's why it's a little lengthy. I want to send you away knowing I was paying attention; and your post is important. You are also helping others.
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