A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now and we live together and have a daughter. Thing is, she's bisexual. I often find myself worrying she misses other women. I've tried asking her and talking but she just says no and won't talk. Its really starting to bug me. At the the beginning of the relationship she started talking to her female ex. One of her friends told me she admitted she had feelings for the ex. When I asked her she explained that she felt like we were drifting and was desiring the attention more than the person anyway we sorted it but its a constant doubt . She thinks all I ever want is sex but all i want is to feel close to her again. I recently got made redundant so we don't have alot of money so I can't take her out for meals very often or even buy her romantic gifts. I just worry she's getting bored or even falling out of love and is just used to me being here.
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (11 October 2013):
Why don't you worry that she misses other guys?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2013):
 I am bisexual. I was also a swinger in my previous marriage.
I am now married to a man who I do not cheat on nor do we choose to share with others. Therefore I have given up men and women to be with this man.
I think of girl play sure.... but more because my husband is a selfish and lousy lazy lover. If I had a man that sexually satisfied me I'd not miss it.
I miss it but to be honest I would not risk ending my good relationship by choosing to be with others.
Just like if i found a man I liked that was attractive, I would NOT do anything to jeopardize my marriage.
Just because she's bisexual does not mean she will leave you. Heterosexual relationships break up also.
Your insecurity is the problem not her bisexuality.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (11 October 2013):
Dear OP,
When reading your post, I had a feeling I want to share some things.
1) Bisexuality does NOT mean you constantly NEED romantic and sexual relationships with both sexes. It means you are more open what person you choose, but then, when you've made your choice, you have the same ability or problems to commit as anybody else. At least that's my experience. When I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't look left or right. And when I'm out of love, I start considering alternatives. But isn't that just the same for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation?
2) Getting over your ex is hard sometimes. Maybe she wasn't completely ready for something new. But in the meantime, she seems to have gotten over her, having a child with you and being together with you for 3 years.
3) If she loves you, it won't matter that you're short on money. Don't sacrifice everything you have and you are to please her. Be yourself. And if you need her getting closer to you again, maybe it's best just saying so, instead of trying and trying to pull her close to you with gifts and everything.
Please look at your relationship closely. Why exactly are you worrying so much? Because you feel there's a distance? Are you sure this distance is caused by her, missing other women? Or could it be that you being stressed over money and her taking care of a child makes the both of you really busy?
I see many things speaking for your relationship and wish you the best. Update us or clarify your situation if you want, we'd be happy to know.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 October 2013):
 Youve got insecurity problems. Those are your problems, and you need to deal with them. Notice how you describe your concerns here. They are yours, not your girlfriends. Shes happy being with you, and doesnt need other women. But you still have a problem. Your insecurities are trying to find root. If it wasnt this concern you would have found something else to worry about. Adress the real problem here: your insecurity.
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