| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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I cant get over what she has done in the past...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months and her past and what she has done haunts me and maked me want to throw up and call her a whore and leave her. I cant do this though the thought of not being with her hurts me and I know that I ...
A. 9 February 2011: It sounds as if you want her to change so you can dump her, without thinking she will have sex in the first date. It makes no sense and you don't have the right to ask her to change.... (read in full...)
Will our different religious beliefs clash too much? And would he compromise his beliefs about sex?
Q. Hello there, agony aunts. (: I have had a relatively close male friend who I have known for several years. We went to high school together and have always gotten on great. Almost the whole time I knew him, I had been with my ex boyfriend (who I...
A. 8 February 2011: Of course there is no way I can know how your relationship will result. And I agree with dirtball, mostly.
But, for Christian people virginity is big issue. As a result of Christian beliefs. And I think that you not being a virgin is an issue th... (read in full...)
Does this shy/quiet guy from college like me? Are there any signs I should look for?
Q. I met this 27 year old medical school student at my university. He seems really shy/quiet and polite. I am not 100% sure if he is shy or just the quiet type. However, we became friends and had very few conversations during these past two months. He ...
A. 8 February 2011: If you like him, you better do something. I think he's interested and maybe a little jealous when you talk to other guys. If he is that shy he won't make a move without being sure you like him. ... (read in full...)
Is this girl flirting with me???
Q. Is this girl flirting with me? We are in the same classes at school and we see each other a lot. I have noticed she touches me more than other people (like during a conversation she will put her hand on my shoulder). She also said something t...
A. 8 February 2011: I don't reckon we can tell better than you whether this girl is interested in you or not. I would recommend you show some interest (you don't need to seem desperate) in her, if you really are. It's better being rejected than never asking for a date ... (read in full...)
How can I live without sex???
Q. Hi, I am a male 21 year old virgin.. Really want to have sex... have a girlfriend but feel ill have to keep it private, and that will cause guilt inside me.. so that is an issue.. Sex after marriage is ok but before that some issues. But its abou...
A. 7 February 2011: You want to have sex with who? It's not very clear in your question whether you want to have sex with your girlfriend or someone else.
In my own personal opinion you better buy some condoms and have sex. Don't forget that if you do it with som... (read in full...)
How can I forget about her?
Q. I have loved this girl for three years already even though she had rejected me right from the start (and I'm pretty sure it's love and not a crush). I have promised her time and again that I'd work on becoming friends with her (since that's what she ...
A. 7 February 2011: Unfortunately there is no drug to make you forget something. That would be amazing. But, there isn't.
Try to keep you busy in something you like to do, like a hobby. Studying can be pretty boring and you won't be able to concentrate if you have... (read in full...)
Do I see him as my cousin??? What should I do?
Q. I have never seen my dad as a dad as he has never been there for me or my brother. After about three years i have got back in contact with his nephew and he has changed so much, in personality and in looks, I am afraid that i might be getting ...
A. 7 February 2011: What do you want to do? It's your cousin not your brother. The only problem you will find in being a couple is your family which can take it not so well, after all. There isn't any other problem.... (read in full...)
Should I kiss her on the first date?
Q. I just asked this girl out and she said yes. I dont want to go to fast, so should I kiss her now on the first day or wait a little bit? ...
A. 7 February 2011: Wait a couple of dates. Not too much. You have to get to know her, also. Then you can figure out when is right time to kiss her.... (read in full...)
I'm losing my guy friend (not bf) because of this other girl who's cheating on him. How do I deal with it?
Q. So my best guy friend(i'll call him J) who I love like a brother is in a relationship with a girl(i'll call her X) whose controling and has trust issues. At a basketball game X went through his gym bag to get his cell, which was wrapped in his ...
A. 7 February 2011: Don't go right to the point. He could get mad at you. You have to talk with him and try to find out what he thinks about his relationship. And then you may find out some material to work with. But you need he to tell you something he doesn't like ... (read in full...)
Can you truly love someone and yet have sex with someone else?
Q. I have another posting with more details and a different question, but after reading some other posts (and just being honest with myself) I feel this question needs to be answered as well. Long story short, I met an amazing girl, we had a perfect...
A. 6 February 2011: I agree with Blonde68 but I will make a slight correction:
Yes, some people can love a person and have sex with someone else. As long as the loved one is certainly aware and agrees with that situation.
If the loved person doesn't agree wi... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is meeting with her ex and I'm scared
Q. Hey, i have a GF of 1 year and 3 months, she lives with me and we are deeply in love, recently she has been talking to her ex BF on facebook and yesterday he asked her to go to brighton with him today to pick shoes, she also wants to go in his house ...
A. 6 February 2011: She says it's your fault. Does it means she is dumping you? Is she going to wear a tattoo with her ex's name? Or she wants her ex be there while she's getting tattooed?
As I told you before you have to figure out what is she up to. I don't re... (read in full...)
I haven't cheated before but I want to be with a different man!
Q. Im currently in a relationship. I've been with my fiance for 8 years. Everything is great But he's not that adventurous in bed like I am. The sex has decreased since we had a child, not because we lost interest but because my son usually ...
A. 6 February 2011: Are you willing to accept your husband go out and have sex with another girl? Be honest with your self and avoid cheating. You will ruin you marriage.... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking of boyfriend's past!
Q. Before I start, I'm going to give a little information that you may want to know. I'm 19, female and have a boyfriend whose age 25. (Age isn't the issue, ignore the age difference). We are online dating and have been with each other for 1 year and...
A. 6 February 2011: In the first place I would like you to know that you can solve your problem. Even when it's not that easy. There is plenty of questions like this here at DC. Most of them from guys. But you are here to probe that this isn't a male issue. You ha... (read in full...)
What does she mean "I'm not that great a girl?"
Q. What does a college girl really mean when she says "I'm really not that great a girl" after asking her out? I met a girl in college and things were going great. We both had majors in journalism and had a lot of things in common. I never had the lu...
A. 6 February 2011: Well, you said you two started a relationship as friends. Maybe you never planned to be her friend for real. And you were trying to date her. And maybe she really wanted to be your friend. That's all. How come you were played as a fool? You asked ... (read in full...)
She went back to her ex but I think he's just putting on a good act
Q. My Girlfriend was with her ex for 2 and a half years. she and i were friends and she told me, basically, how horrible he was. e.g. he gets drunk all the time, he tells his friends right in front of me that we don't do it enough. etc... I told her ...
A. 6 February 2011: There is a really good chance that he's putting on a good act. But the problem here is, do you have a little self-esteem there? This girl is dumping you to go back with the jerk. And you are wondering whether she will come back to you. Doesn't it ... (read in full...)
Perfect relationship suddenly ends and she is with someone else in no time...WHY?
Q. Please bear with me, I will try to keep this concise but it isn't easy. The first week of August 2010 I began dating a woman. I am 30 she is 33. I had only been dating casually for the past few years, and generally tended to be the one t...
A. 6 February 2011: She's cheating on you. We can hardly tell you why of if you did something to cause this. But it doesn't matter at all because cheating is wrong. No matter what. In this particular case there is a couple of things that make it worse. Because s... (read in full...)
Can I get an STD from performing oral sex on my virgin boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have never had any sexual encounters if any kind. Could either of us get an std from unprotected oral sex?...
A. 5 February 2011: Yes. Of course you can. Both of you.
Anyone can get an STD without having sex. So being a virgin is not warranty. The better option is getting medical exams and checking them mutually.... (read in full...)
I feel really sad and depressed and need a shoulder to cry on. How can I let out my sadness?
Q. i am the most positive person u will ever meet. i always see the best in people and every situation im in. i love life to the fullest and i love myself so much but sometimes i get so depressed sometimes it takes over and i cant stand it...i don't ...
A. 5 February 2011: There is a good chance you are bipolar. Then you go from positive person to depressed person from time to time. And to know whether you are bipolar of not. You have to see a doctor.
Then there is the old story about a guy always ready to help eve... (read in full...)
I feel lovesick, lonely at losing her. And so many questions on how I can go forward?
Q. i need some serious help ive been through some crazy relation ships b 4 but i have been ready for something real for a really long time im sick of wasting my time and life on dead end relationships but recently ive meet the most amazing girl ever ...
A. 5 February 2011: You are heartbroken. What is understandable for what you are going through right now. You love that girl but she dumped you, and went with the bad guy. This always happens and is a sign that this girl is not good for you. Move on, start seeing other ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is meeting with her ex and I'm scared
Q. Hey, i have a GF of 1 year and 3 months, she lives with me and we are deeply in love, recently she has been talking to her ex BF on facebook and yesterday he asked her to go to brighton with him today to pick shoes, she also wants to go in his house ...
A. 5 February 2011: Let's see. Right now there is nothing you can do, but wait.
In the meantime, she shouldn't have seen him if you were upset about it. You have the right to ask her not to visit her ex alone. If she doesn't care what you feel about that, maybe sh... (read in full...)
Will my morals go out the window?
Q. hey, can someone help me figure out who i am? im 18 and a virgin, the only guys ive kissed are ones ive got with while clubbing (too many to count) the problem is im going off to uni in september, and im not sure what ill end up doing. like even ...
A. 5 February 2011: "are these just thoughts or will i end up like that in uni?"
We can't see the future. But this is something you have control over. Not something that just will happen.
"should it be ok for me to do things like that?"
You have to answer th... (read in full...)
I just don't know what to do any more and it hurts.
Q. How do you move on once and for all? I've liked this guy for over 2 years, we've slept together a few times in the past. He lives quite a few hours away and a relationship probably wouldn't have worked so i sort of just had to accept that. ...
A. 5 February 2011: I suspect you want a serious relationship with him. You didn't mention it but, if it hurts, it's because what you have right now (friendship with sex) is not what you want.
In the other end, he isn't willing to get serious. So, there is no reas... (read in full...)
Should I explain why I can't be his friend anymore?
Q. Hi - I need to decide what to do but I do not know what is best ... The situation is pretty standard. Me and him started to talk every day, we liked each other and inevitably we made everything we could to get together. We have been seeing...
A. 4 February 2011: This guy made you believe you (two) were going to be in a serious relationship. Now he quits and you are worried how will he feel about what you have to say. God. He dumped you (technically) and you are worried about his feelings? What about start ... (read in full...)
I want to marry her, but she chooses to date the guy who treats her like garbage!
Q. Dear Cupid, I was dating this girl long distance for two years, we fell completely in love. My family lived in the city she lived in and me a different one. We had picked out an engagment ring and planned to get married with her moving to me. At...
A. 4 February 2011: Yes, move on as soon as possible.... (read in full...)
I don't want to tell him to get rid of his friends who are girls!
Q. Hi, Well I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and it’s been going really well and we see each other most weekends and sometimes a couple of days throughout the week ~ but recently I’ve been feeling really insecure. I know he is a loyal(he...
A. 4 February 2011: I would recommend you to talk with him and tell him how you feel. Including that you think that asking him to quit his friends is selfish.
May be he can start paying more attention to you. So you don't feel left alone. Without needing to end his ... (read in full...)
He said he didn't want to hang out anymore because he felt I was playing with him!
Q. I met this guy about a year ago wen I was out and about! I gave him my number and we keep I'm touch! We would text talk on the phone but never hung out! I only seen him that 1 time when I gave him my number... So after a yr of phone conversations we ...
A. 4 February 2011: I find it a little contradictory:
You wrote: "Ya In the past b4 we Ever hung out i was definately interested in doing him but after meeting i kinda wanted to wait becuz i began to lik him!"
And then: "He never gave me that security that th... (read in full...)
I'm never even given a chance by a girl, and I'm getting desperate!
Q. I don't even know where to begin, but this is what i feel. I'll try to keep it short and to the point. It's like I have no future. For years i've tryed to be as positive as I can around girls, I have many different types friends in many circles....
A. 4 February 2011: Well, you already know what you have to do. And even when it's so obvious I'll write it down here. You have to tell this girl you are in love with her. God knows what happens after that. But it doesn't even matter since you have been silen... (read in full...)
Horrific noises during sex are really embarrassing me!
Q. So, I'm in a new relationship and he's the biggest I've ever been with. He likes to eat me out, or go down on me or whatever, but whenever he does, my vagina makes this farting noise. It's completely embaressing for me, and completely takes me out ...
A. 4 February 2011: May be some girl around here can give you some tips about how to avoid that. Meanwhile I will tell you: this is normal.... (read in full...)
It is normal that I'm attracted to men twice my age?
Q. Is it normal (from a psychological point of view), that I am attracted to older men in their 40' s . Not all of them , it all the depends on their level of maturity. The way they talk about life , their experience ..It moves me in a way that no ...
A. 4 February 2011: I don't think it's normal as most of the people doesn't feel like you. But I don't think there is anything wrong with that. As long as it doesn't hurt you nor other people.... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me for wanting to work things out with my abusive boyfriend?
Q. My bf of 2 years has become more emotionally abusive lately. Everytime i try more to be nice to him, he pulls off more, but still i couldnt hate him at all. I know i shouldnt take this abuse anymore but i couldnt leave him either. I really wan...
A. 4 February 2011: Yes. There something called "survival instinct" which protect us from things that hurt. It seems not to be working with you. May be you should go to a therapist to find out way. Instead of trying to be with someone that hurts you.... (read in full...)
I cant get over what she has done in the past...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months and her past and what she has done haunts me and maked me want to throw up and call her a whore and leave her. I cant do this though the thought of not being with her hurts me and I know that I ...
A. 4 February 2011: @Annalisa: Women always find hard to believe a man can suffer. Of course generalization is always a bad idea. @Anonymous male: You have two problems here. In the first place you have a moral conflict with the way your girlfriend behaves —se... (read in full...)
My heart belongs to the second guy, but I have a bond with the first guy.
Q. He's my best friend. He's also my on/off boyfriend. We had a horrible relationship, and even though we had these feelings for each other it just wasn't enough. We're one of those couples that fights, then makes up, then fights then breaks up then ...
A. 4 February 2011: There are two questions for you:
Are you able to keep a friendship (real friendship, no sex) with the first guy after all that happened?
If you aren't you will have to leave it for starting with your new boyfriend. If you are able, there it c... (read in full...)
After a year of dating I still can't climax
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year now. i like having sex with him and everything its just that i never climaxed, i was just curious if anyone had any suggestions or maybe reasons why this is? Thanks!...
A. 4 February 2011: With such little information we can hardly point you in the right direction. In the first place, have you ever had an orgasm before? Most women can't have an orgasm during intercourse or them find it very hard to have it that way.... (read in full...)
Why did he stop running back to me?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend and now he has a gilfriend. I'm fuming because she's prettier and nicer then me. All of our mutual friends adore her. She's nice to me to and that pisses me off. How could my boyfriend move on from me so fast?!!! He ...
A. 3 February 2011: He found someone better. May be a girl who doesn't dump him all the time waiting for him to come back begging.... (read in full...)
Should I be ok with my girlfriend sleeping in another guy's bed?
Q. My girlfriend went to a sleepover with her guy friend, since he supposedly dosent have a guest room, she has to sleep on the same bed as him, should I be fine with that?...
A. 3 February 2011: You better throw some more information here. There is no point in talking about it without a proper context.... (read in full...)
He called me his ex's name!
Q. Last night my boyfriend and I were in bed and I was kissing him and he turned round and said 'No *****' (Not my name) so I imediately jumped up and said what did you just call me?? He tried to grab me and hug me and said sorry but at least I was ...
A. 3 February 2011: I think the vast majority of people can't (and shouldn't) remain friends with an ex-partner. I wouldn't allow it from my girlfriend. Why is that? Because, if you really loved someone you would be hurt by keeping contact outside of a relationship. ... (read in full...)
What does she want?
Q. I upset a girl that I love (she knows it)very recently by telling her boyfriend is using her as a temporary plan and some really bad things about him. I understand this would destroy her dream but she had promised me that she would not be ang...
A. 3 February 2011: If she has no plans of letting go her current boyfriend, and she knows you're in love with her, she is being a little selfish. She shouldn't keep contact with you in that case. Because you will suffer in vain.
It seems that she wants to maintain... (read in full...)
He excludes me from his life despite all I have done for him! What should I do?
Q. My guy is a plumber by profession. I love him very much and we been in love for three years. When he had little money on him last year i rented an apartment for him, fed him through last year. Yet i don't know much about his life. He excludes me ...
A. 3 February 2011: You are giving too much without seeing what you are going to get in return. In the end that is what a relationship is about.
You should stop giving him until he starts doing his own part.... (read in full...)
What's the right thing to do? Tell someone I think I might be depressed? Or keep it a secret. I keep wanting to sleep all the time.
Q. I have begun to sleep all of the time. I wake up at 8 and then go to school. I come back home, and go to sleep around 4 and wake up at 8 and over and over and over again. Also I started to stop eating very much. it's not like i just want to los...
A. 2 February 2011: You seem to be depressed. Yet, you won't heal by googling or asking in forums. You have to talk to someone close to you ASAP and look for counselling. At the same time you may go to the doctor for checking basic stuff. Just in case.... (read in full...)
What's a good solution to my sadness that we're not together now? I'm really confused and I may have given him the wrong impression.
Q. im really confused. My ex boyfriend and I went out for about two and half months, but we've liked each other for about six months. we didn't kiss or anything, but i still liked him sooo much. he gave me a necklace for christmas (well he gave ...
A. 2 February 2011: If you want him back, you will have to talk to him. Do your best, specially because you feel that your words were misunderstood. Let him know that you like him for more than a friendship.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex say he wants my new partner to be the father to our child, and he doesn't want to be involved in our son's life anymore?
Q. I dated this guy for about 3 years and we have a kid together but we are seperated and im with someone else..My ex came up to me a few days ago and told me that i should tell my new boyfriend to be the father of our son and that he didnt want to be ...
A. 2 February 2011: If you really love him (your ex), why are you dating someone else? I think that will hurt a couple of people. Instead of decoding what he says you should put your energy in doing things right. Decide what you want in the first place, and the go for ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just dumped me because she thinks I'm being paranoid!
Q. my girlfriend has just dumped me because she think iam being paranoid. 2 weeks ago she changed her profile picture on facebook and i started to get paranoid so i started asking her if she loved me and she replied yes. but the next day i appologised ...
A. 1 February 2011: IF it's true that you haven't been paranoid after she forgave you. I would rather think she is cheating you OR she never loved you really.
Dumping you after forgiving you (for a single reason) makes no sense.... (read in full...)
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