| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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Monogamy: How do I get there with the guy I've been with for 2 months.
Q. I've been dating this guy for 2 months now and I want to know when is it appropriate to ask if he wants to be exclusive at some point. Or at 34 years old - is it just assumed at some point? We are now spending two days/nights a week together. It s...
A. 9 December 2011: Every one thinks differently about this. That's why you two have to talk about being exclusive ASAP.
And there is something more, if you are having sex with another one while dating him. You should not tell him you did. Even if you are not excl... (read in full...)
What's is going on with my girlfriend??
Q. Ok, I am BEGGING you guys for help here. I've been with my gf for 4 years. We got together when she was 14 and I was 17. I was her first, but she wasn't mine. We had good and bad times like every teenage couple etc etc She came to my college ...
A. 8 December 2011: We can't tell you what happened. But the obvious thing here is she started thinking about other guys.... (read in full...)
Do girls think about their ex's penis
Q. I was wondering if girls think about the size of their ex's penis. My girlfriend made it a point to tell me the sizes of her ex and it hurt my self esteem because i'm just average. And she sounded like she was gloating for them. For me and guys I ...
A. 8 December 2011: I'm not a girl, but this topic is very common in the net. And I have my own opinion about it. From the answers of girls about this, I reckon most girls remember the size of their exes. Or at least would be able to tell the difference with ... (read in full...)
Why am I having dreams about having children?
Q. ok this is a super weird question but basically i have been having these dreams about being pregnant and also in which i have children already, in these dreams i am NOT older i am 16 just as i am now, and in school and everything. this happened once ...
A. 7 December 2011: I guess hormones are stronger than religion. The sexual urges will arrive, eventually. It's only natural.
Even when I think waiting till marriage for sex is a very bad idea. At the same time I would recommend you to wait until you are legal ag... (read in full...)
How do I prove to my friends that I am capable of getting a boyfriend?
Q. hello aunts! I have a small problem. I recently got out of a relationship with a guy that went to a different school than me. When we were going out, none of my friends believe he existed. There were rumors going around that i faked a boyfriend just ...
A. 7 December 2011: If you start your life by proving things to other people, you won't enjoy life. Prove things to yourself.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend accuses me of cheating all the time, does this mean that he is likely to be cheating on me?
Q. Hi everyone this is more of a question really, my boyfriend is always accusing me of cheating even though I'm not, I've never cheated on anyone in my life. is it true what people say about the one that accuses you of cheating are usually the ones ...
A. 7 December 2011: There is no rule for that. But there is a good chance, I guess. Unless he is far too insecure.... (read in full...)
Is it possible that we can remain as friends?
Q. Is there such a thing as being friends with your ex? I just broke up with this guy, i love him in fact I'm in love with him but i've had enough of the relationship. he says he still loves me but i think like me he's also had enough. i do want to ...
A. 15 August 2011: You can be friend with your ex as long as you don't love him any more (and neither does him). But chances are it will be a problem with your next boyfriend.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is forced to go with someone else!
Q. I have my girlfriend that is in crazy love with me, she just adores me so much and i love her as well, I'm 18 and she's 17. I know it seems that we're just two kids that are in just a phase of life then it'll go away but it's not, it has been 2 ...
A. 15 August 2011: I agree the only option is she stand up before her father and tells him she won't marry the other guy and she will stay here. If she loves you she should chose a guy who loves her over a family who forces her to be miserable.... (read in full...)
Help!!! Should I be worried?
Q. I think my best friend likes my guy... you see me and my guy only started seeing each other about a month ago (not really official we're going out, just that we meet each other etc.) and she is constantly asking about him and saying she wants a guy ...
A. 15 August 2011: Well, in the first place you say you are not official. There shouldn't be a problem if they do something after all.
Now, from what you wrote it seem like you want he to be exclusive. So you should get that little thing fixed.
Of course, she ... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about this scenario or try to work it through as my trust issue? We are together. He is the ex.
Q. I need some help. I have a issue that I need to get off my chest before lose it, but my emotions are getting in the way of me figuring out a way to confront her effectively. Ok, this past Friday night My girlfriend of over a year, her Gay best...
A. 14 August 2011: I think there is an inflection point when she tells him to behave (only) when you are there. I mean, she is in her own right to see someone from her past. But, letting him behave like he did before is not right. You are her boyfriend now even if you ... (read in full...)
Not happy with living situation with BF. What should I do about this other guy?
Q. A few months ago I decided that I wanted to move in with my BF of almost 4 years. The first month things were great, then over the next two months things went down hill. And i didn't realize how bad they were until I met his best friend, (D.T.) ...
A. 11 June 2011: You don't love your boyfriend any more (if you ever loved him) and you should break up with him. Chances are he won't change and will get back to normal. If you find DT so great, you should go for him.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to meet my friends, but I am aprehensive about this. What should I do?
Q. Hey everyone. So lately my boyfriend has brought it to my attention that we never hang out with my friends and that he doesn't really even know them or my family. Which is true. We've been together for 4 months and the only friend that he's...
A. 11 June 2011: Of course this will have a negative effect. He's going to think you are not sure about him or ashamed. Which is natural for him to think because you are hiding him.
Do your friends or parents know about him at least?... (read in full...)
Did she start having a crush/feelings?
Q. I think young ppl tend to make lots of mistakes especially when it comes to dating. Well I was on chat and before I even met this girl I used this hot surfer male model photos. She thought it was me. The whole time she'd flirt and even compliment ...
A. 4 June 2011: Well. For a start she should be aware you can never know who is the person in the other end. That's internet. Plus, she said she was there for fun, not for on-line dating.
I don't believe you hurt her feelings. I think she liked the pictures... (read in full...)
Is it ok for my bf to still talk and remain friends with someone he has slept with?
Q. So today my bf got a text and I asked who it was just curious and he was, like, what's it matter. And then he told me. It wasn't nothing but a simple "hey" but it was a girl he has had sex with before didn't date or anything just wanted some I ...
A. 4 June 2011: The question is: Is it ok if he remains friends with this girl knowing you don't like it?
It's obvious he thinks he can be friends with her. But you should ask him to stop talking to her if you don't like it. It's a matter of how much he respects... (read in full...)
Is my gf cheating on me?
Q. Basically what I want to know, is whether or not my girlfriend is cheating on me. After a bad break-up my fiancee and I got back together, against many friend's wishes.. But lately she is texting ALL the time when she's with me, it's either ...
A. 4 June 2011: Since you have been already hurt in the past, I guess you are giving her a second chance. Well, enough is enough. Dump her now and stop wasting your life with her. She is acting just as if she had an affair with this John. But even if she doesn't ... (read in full...)
Found naked pics of a guy on my wife's camera. I'm not sure how to handle this...
Q. My wife and I are married 4 years this summer. Everything seems to be great, my problem is something from the past. I just bought my wife a new laptop and digital camera last Christmas. Her old camera she had when we met and was about 5 or 6 yea...
A. 25 May 2011: Don't delete the pictures as they are evidence in case you end up divorcing. Confront her as Dear Mandy said.... (read in full...)
Met a girl online, but she has a boyfriend! Should I just stop contact?
Q. I've met some girl online we get along really well, Always talking (alot) Very open and honest, Play games together and even watch movies together..Problem is she has a bf :/ She knows how i feel and i beleive she likes me but i dont know anymor...
A. 25 May 2011: I think she likes you, may be just like she likes her boyfriend. She can find you more interesting because you aren't her boyfriend. But it's obvious she isn't fully into you, because she didn't dump her current boyfriend. If you like her fore so... (read in full...)
My bf is insanely jealous about my past, what can I do to make it better?
Q. I saw some posts about the same issue, but thought I'd ask again since my story is slightly different.. So, me and my bf have been together for about 5 months. We fell madly in love as soon as we met and kind of jumped into a relationship, so crazy ...
A. 25 May 2011: If he is unable to stop undesired thoughts about your past, he could be experimenting obsessive behaviour. He should see a therapist and get medication against such kind of thoughts. If he can't stop those images it doesn't matter how much he ... (read in full...)
Wife just admitted to sleeping with my friend when we were dating!
Q. Hi everyone. I am a 33 year old man who has been married for almost 9 years. When I was 19 and gettign ready to go into my second year of college, I met what would end up being my future wife. i was instantly attracted to her. She was amazing. ...
A. 14 May 2011: Like Minelisse I think you shouldn't throw your marriage away right now. You have to give yourself time to easy your mind.
What your wife did was the stupidest thing. Because now you can't trust her. Even if this is the only lie in your history,... (read in full...)
13 guys in 7 years...too much?
Q. Is having had sex with 13 guys in seven years making me look like a slut?...
A. 14 May 2011: The number is note the problem. Your behaviour is what tells what kind of person you are. For example, were them serious relationships? Did you sleep with them in the first date?
... (read in full...)
Not sure how to tell my boyfriend I have probably passed genital warts on to him?
Q. I have recently been to the clinic because I have developed genital warts. I asked the doctor if I needed to inform my current sexual partner about them and she said not to bother as he would know if he had them. I'm really embarrassed abou...
A. 14 May 2011: Would you appreciate it if your boyfriend passed some disease onto you without a warning?
Well. You have to tell him. ... (read in full...)
I lied to this hot girl and told her I've had sex but I haven't
Q. Hi dear cupids I m 18 and I don't really have any sexual experience. I tried to have sex with a girl like a year ago but I had no acctual idea what I was doing and my penis couldn't fit in her. We tried it 2 other night but I still counldn't pu...
A. 14 May 2011: As any other thing, being a good lover takes a lot of practice, which you don't have.
I think that starting you sexual life with a girl who is interested only in a physical affair isn't a good idea. She is wants to be with you just for sex, and... (read in full...)
Both of my ex boyfriends want me back and I don't know what to do!
Q. I know this is bad. This is really bad but I am freaking out. In life you always heard the statement be careful about what you wish for you might just get it. Yesterday I got everything I ever wished for just in terrible timing. I have two people ...
A. 8 May 2011: I totally agree with Vintage64 here. Someone who claims to be in lover with more than one person, isn't in love at all. And, probably, was never in love before.
... (read in full...)
Duel finances in preparation for moving together, I want to pay exactly equal but as he has more expenses he thinks I'm being mean. Am I?
Q. My boyfriend and I are trying to come to an agreement on finances before moving in together. We earn similar salaries, and have similar expenses for cars, insurance and so on but he has to pay maintenance for a daughter and ex wife. I don’t have ...
A. 7 May 2011: You are in your own right to contribute the same he will contribute. What he did in the past is something he has to be responsible for. Specially if you have similar salaries.... (read in full...)
Can I repair this misunderstanding? My Boy friend's sister hates me and is trying to ruin my life
Q. I need help with my boyfriend and his family. I met my boyfriend through my best friend. My boyfriend is her brother. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few weeks but I feel like I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He is ever...
A. 2 May 2011: Stay calm. As soon as she sees you and your boyfriend stay together, she will give up this non-sense. All you have to do is keep your position, you are being honest so give them time to realize they are wrong. Also I would recommend cutting all ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'm sexually frustrated and feeling guilty.
Q. Hello all Please do not misunderstand my intentions. My boyfriend is struggling with Schizophrenia, he has also been mentally and physically abused by a cruel sadistic woman. I know this is very hard for him to deal with but he wont be close wi...
A. 2 May 2011: Well. Schizophrenia is very bad news. And, I'm sorry to say, but you are a little too young to tie your life to someone who could never heal at all. Anyway, if you are fully determined to stay with him, you will have to give up things like this ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my gf seems to have a guy she dated still on her mind?
Q. I have been with my girl for almost a year now... We really love each other.. and are very secure that the other person wont leave us or cheat. She has a past, has been a wild girl and has dated many many people,and one of them--the one sh...
A. 2 May 2011: I agree with aunt honesty here. You are overreacting as our minds work just like that. Some ideas get linked with memories and the simple contact with that idea (in this case a word) bring the memory back. So there is nothing unusual the word thing ... (read in full...)
How far can you go sexually with someone...without actually having sex?
Q. so, my bf and i are doing wonderful together. and things have started to get a little physical. but the problem is, im not a virgin, and he is. and he says he plans on staying that way. i am completely fine with that, im actually kind of proud of ...
A. 2 May 2011: Anything near sex. involving pleasure, is sex too. I mean, oral sex, masturbation, and so on. That's sex too and you can stay considering you a virgin if you have such experience, even if there was no intercourse. So, if your boyfriend plans to stay ... (read in full...)
Why is she cheating just 6 months into our marriage?
Q. me and my gf have been dating for 2 years, married for 6 months. the other day she left her computer for work left on. i went to switch it off but in the screen was one of these "meet up for sex" websites. i read her messages and she'd been talking ...
A. 2 May 2011: "did she cheat on me?"
It seems to be, but there is no definite proof.
"why did she cheat just 6 months into our marriage?"
Well. The only way to know for sure is to ask her about it.
"what should i do about it?"
Even when there is... (read in full...)
How do I keep living in this twisted room mate situation?
Q. i'm questioning if I can be friends with this girl and guy that i live with. We met as she was friends with a friend of a guy I was seeing. While seeing him she would sometimes be around, and on one occasion I invited her to sit with us, big ...
A. 1 May 2011: Well. It's obvious you are using the word "friend" ambiguously here. Because friendship isn't an exclusive relationship. For example, my best friend (male) has other friends and he's still my best friend. My best friend (girl) has a boyfriend and ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to hangout with a guy I recently met and know is interested in me, even though I have a boyfriend?
Q. The other day at work, I met a guy (not affiliated with my place of work) who seemed very friendly and genuinely nice (and cute, too!) After a little bit of talking, he asked me out on a date, to which I declined and stated that I had a boyfriend of ...
A. 1 May 2011: This guy asked you on a date. So he fancies you as a girlfriend (or a friend with benefits) more than a friend. And telling him you can hang out could lead him to think you are really interested in him too. Whether it's wrong or not. Well, that ... (read in full...)
Keeping my ex as a friend. Is it pathetic?
Q. Its almost been 1 year since me and my ex split up and im still finding it hard to get rid of the feelings. I did love him, then i found out he cheated on me, which caused us to split. Now i dont love him, i just feel certain things for him. I g...
A. 1 May 2011: I don't think it's pathetic, but just normal. I think it's wrong, also. I mean, if you're having a hard time letting him go, keeping him as a friend won't make things any easier. And will be useless also, as he disrespected you. I guess as soon as ... (read in full...)
It bothers me knowing that others had sex with my boyfriend but he was my 1st everything!
Q. I am just wondering if I am the only one that thinks this way and if I should just get over feeling this way or if it is something thats ok to worry about. I was a virgin when my boyfriend and I had sex. I didn't know it would bother me knowing he ...
A. 29 April 2011: Nothing is wrong with you. It's absolutely normal to be jealous that way, even when it isn't reasonable. A lot of people feel like you. The issue is how much does it bothers you. I mean, are you thinking about that all the time?
As there's ... (read in full...)
I found out my fiance was promiscuous and now I don't want to marry her!
Q. dear cupid should i go through with the wedding my fiancee just told me she was promiscuous when younger.i find that to be a turn off i wish she had being honest at the begining like i was i told her i was a virgin by choice and religious ...
A. 29 April 2011: Well. In the first place you have the right to chose a virgin woman for marrying, if you want. It doesn't matter what maverick or others think about virginity. It's about what YOU think virginity is worth.
If she told you or otherwise purposel... (read in full...)
I think I am gay but I don't want to be! What can I do?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 years old. As question title says, I think I am gay. What can do I about this, if I don't want to be gay? I want to be straight, have a wife, family, kids. What makes me think that I am gay, is the fact, that I do not want sex with any...
A. 27 April 2011: Well, I guess you should have sex with a girl and with a guy, in order to know if you are gay or not. Maybe you are, or you could be bisexual too. Who knows. Maybe you find out you like having sex with a girl and not with a guy.
If you find out... (read in full...)
My feelings have went flat toward boyfriend, is this normal?
Q. Hello all. I think i need some advice..its always the same issues with me but they get better...then come back haha. I've been with my man now for nearing a year and Im 18years old. At the beginning of the relationship there was butterflies and ...
A. 27 April 2011: If you feel depressed and it persists over a long period of time, you should see a therapist. It could be a sign of depression and had nothing to do with your relationship.... (read in full...)
Can't get this boy off my mind, even though I barely know him. Is it possible to truly like someone without knowing them?
Q. There's this guy who goes to my school that I really like but barely know. Basically, whenever I'm not in school I miss him so much that it always gets to the point of me crying my eyes out or lashing out at my family. Everything I do makes me think ...
A. 26 April 2011: If you have a good excuse you can ask him to talk in private. Of course the others guys will make silly comments. But if you like this guy you won't care about that.... (read in full...)
21 and feel like my life is ruined forever!
Q. Im only 21 and I feel like everythings ruined and Im going to be alone forever. Ive had boyfriends before and randomly dated guys but Id been with this guy for 2 and a half years and he was the first guy ive fallen in love with and he dumped me...
A. 25 April 2011: A month is not enough to get over a person you love. In the other hand, if he dumped you because all the things you said you ate about yourself, then you were not meant to be. You have to move on, you will find another guy. In fact, you can find ... (read in full...)
My feelings have went flat toward boyfriend, is this normal?
Q. Hello all. I think i need some advice..its always the same issues with me but they get better...then come back haha. I've been with my man now for nearing a year and Im 18years old. At the beginning of the relationship there was butterflies and ...
A. 25 April 2011: Yeah, butterflies don't last forever. Love isn't what you feel when you feel butterflies. Loves comes afterwards and of course last longer (usually). If you break up and you fall in love again you will have the butterflies back. But then, they are ... (read in full...)
Can't get this boy off my mind, even though I barely know him. Is it possible to truly like someone without knowing them?
Q. There's this guy who goes to my school that I really like but barely know. Basically, whenever I'm not in school I miss him so much that it always gets to the point of me crying my eyes out or lashing out at my family. Everything I do makes me think ...
A. 25 April 2011: If you aren't close to him, you could make up an excuse for talking to him. About anything you can think of. Or asking him about something. If you start talking to him frequently you will notice if he likes you.... (read in full...)
Old boyfriend perfect...new boy...exciting
Q. hey everyone okay heres the deal ive been with this guy for three years.. and i love him i think. but i met this guy not long ago and he seems nice and he flirts with me and i have to admit i flirt with him. hes exciting and new but i feel bad a...
A. 25 April 2011: Yes. Right now you are cheating on your boyfriend by flirting with the other boy. You should make up your mind and choose one of the an let the other alone.... (read in full...)
Can't get this boy off my mind, even though I barely know him. Is it possible to truly like someone without knowing them?
Q. There's this guy who goes to my school that I really like but barely know. Basically, whenever I'm not in school I miss him so much that it always gets to the point of me crying my eyes out or lashing out at my family. Everything I do makes me think ...
A. 25 April 2011: You barely know him so it must be just physical attraction. You have a crush, if you get to know him you could or could not like him later.... (read in full...)
My bf is insanely jealous about my past, what can I do to make it better?
Q. I saw some posts about the same issue, but thought I'd ask again since my story is slightly different.. So, me and my bf have been together for about 5 months. We fell madly in love as soon as we met and kind of jumped into a relationship, so crazy ...
A. 11 February 2011: Well, your story was really different. As most people with your boyfriend's problem has none or too little experience.
But your boyfriend seems to be the opposite. And I guess that what haunts him is what he did in the past. As you said, you told... (read in full...)
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