| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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Should I tell my boyfriend I lied to him even though it might sabotage our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months, nearly 5. We have trust issues. He's never done anything to make me doubt his love for me but i've lied to him many times and I created a lot of lies to cover up everything... in the end, it ...
A. 17 March 2011: I guess he will get mad at you anyway. No matter how you tell him this. And I don't think it's worth it.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied to me about being a virgin and its really eating away at me now
Q. Hello all, I am in a comiteed relationship from last 4-5 years. When i had sex with my girlfriend for the first time i knew that she is not virgin, i often used to ask but she always refused, but some time back because of my forcing she told me ...
A. 9 March 2011: After four years of relationship, I would recommend you to try to solve your moral issues and ghosts. Because letting her go won't make you any happier. But it will be a hard trip and you have to know that from the start. Within five years you won't ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for her?
Q. I met this girl a year ago, things didn't work out via pointless drama since then, and she moved away for school. (She was moving away anyway) As we were friends before and decided to continue being friends we kept tabs on each other occasionally. ...
A. 9 March 2011: If waiting is not possible for you and you won't leave her. You have one option left only, so you have to keep trying to date her. The problem here is she already told you to wait.... (read in full...)
I think my friend is falling for me, and now I'm falling for him! I don't want to lose our friendhip though. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone! I know some of you will relate to this. I have a close friend, he's a guy. We've been friends for a long time, and as time goes by it seems like more than just a friendship, it’s like a mutual understanding. We are really very close. ...
A. 8 March 2011: Marry him?... (read in full...)
Can you no longer be considered a virgin if there is no penetration?
Q. How do you define virginity? How do you lose it? I know the most known reason when there is penetration by the male organ? How about plain masturbation? Can you still be considered a virgin if a man touched your p***y or did cunnilingus but no p...
A. 8 March 2011: Technically you loose it when you hymen is broken. It's even possible for a hymen not to break during intercourse.
What really counts for someone who wants a virgin partner is what LustyLisa said. Any kind of sexual act, being this touching... (read in full...)
My dream girl is kinda seeing my friend (but denies it, as she doesn't know he's told me what's gone on). What can I do here?
Q. Hey Guys, Hoping for a bit of help on this one...So, a couple of days ago there came an oppotunity to meet one of my sister's firends for the first time as we both know a mutual friend (A guy friend). It was on a night out at a nightclub and I ...
A. 8 March 2011: In the end you won't have them both happy, unless you leave them alone now. But I agree with NotDoneYet in that you have the right to go on as nobody is telling you otherwise.... (read in full...)
Is what I've seen in porn true?
Q. Hi, Aunts there i have a question in my mind, it may sound silly, but still i just want to know the opinion from different people. I've heard that the intercourse can last for more than half an our before men cum. is that true? i mean, don’t...
A. 8 March 2011: Porn is made up not just in time but in size and everything else too. Real sex is usually very different from porn.
About the intercourse duration it's something that varies from man to man. Some guys can last for ever and cum whenever they wan... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied to me about being a virgin and its really eating away at me now
Q. Hello all, I am in a comiteed relationship from last 4-5 years. When i had sex with my girlfriend for the first time i knew that she is not virgin, i often used to ask but she always refused, but some time back because of my forcing she told me ...
A. 8 March 2011: I totally disagree with Annalisa.
Your girlfriend should have faced the fact that you wanted to know if she was a virgin. By not telling you, she denied you the chance to choose a different partner. You have the right to choose your girlfrie... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for her?
Q. I met this girl a year ago, things didn't work out via pointless drama since then, and she moved away for school. (She was moving away anyway) As we were friends before and decided to continue being friends we kept tabs on each other occasionally. ...
A. 8 March 2011: If she has left her ex-boyfriend just a month ago, waiting a couple of months is a good idea in order to make your future relationship work. Which I guess is a good sign for you. If she starts dating you right now you may end up being used.
In th... (read in full...)
Do girls masturbate without thinking of boys?
Q. i have a girlfriend. i am in a relationship for the past 1 year. we started speaking of sex and all for quite some time now. initially she would tell me that she loved someone else and had slept on the arm of her classmate in d school while in ...
A. 8 March 2011: Well. I guess that is possible, in the first place, if the girl is bisexual or homosexual. Or even if she's heterosexual she could get turned on by thinking of a situation and of a particular person. Like thinking of two people having sex. Yet, ... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend who is probably getting married to the wrong girl..
Q. Hi, I am in love with my best friend whom I have know for like over 4 years. We were attracted to each other 4 yrs ago but nothing ever happened. Then we started seeing other people. I broke up with my guy a year ago and he has been having issu...
A. 8 March 2011: Well, that's great. You did the right thing. Or at least the thing than will probably throw the best results out of this.
Now you have to focus on meeting new guys and, in the near future, start dating again. You will be able to find someone ... (read in full...)
Sex, I seem to really want it...
Q. I'm a virgin, and I've been with my boyfriend for a while. And alot of the time when I think about him. I just think, that I really want to lose my virginity to him. And I havn't really done much sexually. I've only gave him one handjob and hes ...
A. 8 March 2011: @CaringGuy: Actually, I think that 18 is the legal age for having sex in UK. Anyway, he won't be a sex offender unless she put some charges against him. @anonymous: If you are sure it's what you want, do it. Take all precautions as he MUST wear ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I lied to him even though it might sabotage our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months, nearly 5. We have trust issues. He's never done anything to make me doubt his love for me but i've lied to him many times and I created a lot of lies to cover up everything... in the end, it ...
A. 7 March 2011: You shouldn't tell him about that as is a really harmless lie (based on what you wrote about it). But you have a lesson to learn here. You can't keep building your relationship over lies because you will make it fail.... (read in full...)
Does acting and looking like a boy mean that I'm a lesbian?
Q. Hi everyone, i have a problem. Both me and my friend had and it goes like this. Both me and my friend are tomboys. We love doing almost everything that boys would do. We are both homeschooled so we get picked on sometimes and sometimes public scho...
A. 7 March 2011: No, looking like a boy doesn't make you a lesbian. The same goes for boys looking like girls.
You are too young to know if your are homosexual or not yet. Anyway, the question you have to ask yourself is "do I like boys or girls?"... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to do this?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now (yeah, I know x)), he's 16 and I'm 17 and I love him and I can really tell he loves me too. My problem is: we haven't had sex and we don't want to right now but we've got to half of the 2nd base ...
A. 7 March 2011: I guess you two are old enough to know what you want. I would recommend just do what you want to do. Not what you are supposed to do. And I say that in the both ways. If you don't want something, don't do it. If you want something, don't stop you ... (read in full...)
Should I message her?
Q. i m a really shy guy...during college i fell for a girl ..it took me 3 months n alot of pushing to go and tell her..she knew through common friends that i liked her. the time i talked to her she was really nice but said she's not interested other th...
A. 7 March 2011: You have to get over her, seriously. You can't avoid other girls because you are afraid of falling in love. The fact that she rejected you doesn't mean other girls will do the same. In the other hand, having been rejected by her in the past makes a ... (read in full...)
Fiance continues to talk to his ex wife
Q. Its kinda of been an on going cycle with my fiance and i. He continues to talk to his xwife. I had caught him one nite calling her at midnite after been drinking. I get very upset. they been divorce for 5 yrs and half his belongings still there. I ...
A. 7 March 2011: "calling her at midnite after been drinking"
He's not totally over her. And he's a jerk, so why don't you move on?... (read in full...)
We broke up and she married someone else but I cant move on
Q. She was everything in my life.We had bben together more than 4 years.We planned to get married,but broke up.It was not my mistake or her mistake,we both were stupid.Now she got married and she moved on,but idid not and I can not forget her.Also I ...
A. 7 March 2011: How long has this been going on?... (read in full...)
Husband has become upset with my past and searches the internet for past boyfriends
Q. Hi, My husband was a virgin when we met although I didn't know at the time as because he was 25 at the time was embarrased and told me he had slept with one other woman I had two kids and a few previous relationships. later in the relationship we ...
A. 7 March 2011: It's a very common problem, specially with virgin males, but not limited to them. And it's not like he's doing it on purpose. It's related to an obsessive character and he's living a hell.
He has basically two problems: he has a moral conflict... (read in full...)
Is it impossible to think I might be able to marry a virgin or at least a very inexperienced girl?
Q. Is marrying a non promiscuous girl a rarity in todays world. I am a virgin man looking to marry a virgin or someone with very little sexual experiences. Is there a possibility that this may happen or should I not care about this....
A. 6 March 2011: As I write in another question today. Don't let other people tell you how the girl you want has to be. Yes, it's always possible to find a virgin. Of course, the age is everything when you come to virginity. And the chances of finding one go down as ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity. But she is adventurous and much more experienced. Is my disgust at this acceptable?
Q. Although I am semi-religious, I have never accepted the idea of saving yourself to marriage to have sex.. That may have worked back in the old days, but now, society has evolved in a way that sex is almost mandatory for a healthy relationship. ...
A. 6 March 2011: @Jjang19: You don't have to take stupid comments personal. Be prepared because so many people is waiting to judge you for judging your girlfriend. As if judging were a sin. You have the right to choose your girlfriend according to whatever you thi... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has started sharing her past with me and I wish she wouldn't!
Q. Basically I'm insanely jealous about my girlfriend's past sex life. She is my first, and she has had 4 before me. Now, at first I didn't care since I didn't know who those people were and I didn't know any details. I was happy with it staying like ...
A. 6 March 2011: @mishmash and chigirl: from what he wrote, I think he already told her about this. @anonymous writer: I think she's being rude with you. Specially as I think you already told her to not talk about this. But even if you didn't tell her, she is maki... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend who is probably getting married to the wrong girl..
Q. Hi, I am in love with my best friend whom I have know for like over 4 years. We were attracted to each other 4 yrs ago but nothing ever happened. Then we started seeing other people. I broke up with my guy a year ago and he has been having issu...
A. 6 March 2011: Yet when everything else seems to be right. This guy is not ready to do what it takes to be happy, according to you. So, is he the right one anyway? I guess he isn't. For some reason he keeps trying over what seems to be a broken relationship. And ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and he is contemplating revenge cheating. How can we get past this?
Q. My boyfriend is trying to get pass the fact that I cheated on him and lied about it. The situation is that I kissed a coworker about 6 times and we ended up touching on each other. I lied about how the kiss happened and how many times we kissed. ...
A. 6 March 2011: "So I won't allow any of you people to make me feel worse than I already do." Posting your problems in the internet for getting help has a price. Yes. You will be judged. It seems to me that you already know what you should do. And you are ... (read in full...)
Trust issues with boyfriend being friends with his ex
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 18 months now but I am still having a lot of trust issues. My bf was previously married (and still is although they separated just before we got together). He has stayed really good friends with her and is in ...
A. 6 March 2011: You have the right to be annoyed by his behaviour. You are his girlfriend now so he should show more respect to you. Starting by not having her stuff all around.
But I guess the fact that he keeps hanging out with her is the real problem here. As... (read in full...)
Am I ready to settle down with this girl who's sexually more experienced than me or do I need to go away and have more sexual partners?
Q. I am in my early thirties. My girlfriend is in her late twenties. She is my first real girlfriend. Sad I know but I just hadn't been in the right places at the right time to meet that somebody special until last year. Basically I am not exactly Mr ...
A. 5 March 2011: "Perhaps I am jealous of her past partners?" Yes. "or Perhaps I am jealous of her that she has 'played around'" That too. "do I need to go away and have more sexual partners?" You're the one who gives an answer that question. ... (read in full...)
Getting into the head of a cheater
Q. Ok well I have a question for anyone who has ever cheated to share the reason for cheating! What made you cheat and why? Was it worth what came to be of the situation? Did you love the person you cheated on? Why use your working late? Di...
A. 5 March 2011: I've never cheated so I can't answer. But I can tell you that no matter how many answers you get here. It won't help you feel better, if you are asking after being cheated. There are so many answer as cheaters. And there is people who cheats once in ... (read in full...)
Does she just not want to have sex for her own personal reasons?
Q. I have been waiting a long time to have sex for the first time and I am 30. I am ready to make love to my girlfriend, but she says she is scared that she might ruin it for me. I have explained to her that I love her, and there is nothing she coul...
A. 5 March 2011: In fact she doesn't want for her own personal reasons. And she's putting the charge on you, by telling she doesn't have sex for your own sake. It's a cheap excuse. You will have to find out why she doesn't want it really. You have the right to kno... (read in full...)
Lack of interest in sex, new password on her phone, deleted texts: Is my gf cheating on me??
Q. My girlfriend and I have not long been together. At first, everything was perfect, we had loads of fun, always saw each other and one night (only been seeing each other for a few months) she tells me she loves me. I must admit i felt the same. ...
A. 5 March 2011: I'm sorry, if there were nothing to worry about, there would be no reason to delete messages or lock the phone. Of course she has the right to her privacy. But left alone the phone, her change about sex and the rest of things you wrote about it. ... (read in full...)
How do I get her see past my skin colour?
Q. Okay life story.. This question is specifically about a girl I like but I'll probably go off the point a bit. Alright then - there is this girl I've liked for a while now (a few months to half a year). We'll call her S. She is black, I'm wh...
A. 5 March 2011: You shouldn't give up on black girls, you have to give up to this black girl who doesn't want white guys. She told so to her friend. So, it's seems that you don't have chance.
Every person chooses the attributes to take into account when deciding... (read in full...)
My team mate and girlfriend are close, is it all in my head?
Q. Okay, I don't really know what to start but its a very long and complicated problem between me and my partner, mainly around me struggling with trust issues. I have been with my girlfriend for 2, coming on to 3 years now. Everything was p...
A. 4 March 2011: She seems decided to avoid confronting this. And even when you don't have solid proof, little things keep appearing and disappearing later (which is worst). If that was a harmless message why deleting it? You may be should tell her not to move ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and he is contemplating revenge cheating. How can we get past this?
Q. My boyfriend is trying to get pass the fact that I cheated on him and lied about it. The situation is that I kissed a coworker about 6 times and we ended up touching on each other. I lied about how the kiss happened and how many times we kissed. ...
A. 4 March 2011: In the first place you cheated on him, so now you don't have the right to complain about him cheating on you. You would be very hypocrite if you do. I don't understand why do you want to be together as there is no love in your relationship. Yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have been offered to join another couple for a foursome. I want to do it, but I don't want to ruin my relationship. Help!
Q. One of my biggest fantasies is a foursome and recently some friends of my fiances saw my photo on his phone and basically asked straight out if we would consider doing a foursome as they love those kinds of things. The moment he came home he told me ...
A. 4 March 2011: Every person and every couple is different. I think most couples can't handle a threesome or foursome or whaeversome. Without knowing you nor your boyfriend I would recommend not to do that. Just in case.... (read in full...)
My team mate and girlfriend are close, is it all in my head?
Q. Okay, I don't really know what to start but its a very long and complicated problem between me and my partner, mainly around me struggling with trust issues. I have been with my girlfriend for 2, coming on to 3 years now. Everything was p...
A. 4 March 2011: Well. We think based in what you wrote here. We share your point of view, so don't discard the possibility that we are wrong (including you). The point is there is nothing for sure right now. And you are in a awful situation. It will be difficult, ... (read in full...)
My team mate and girlfriend are close, is it all in my head?
Q. Okay, I don't really know what to start but its a very long and complicated problem between me and my partner, mainly around me struggling with trust issues. I have been with my girlfriend for 2, coming on to 3 years now. Everything was p...
A. 3 March 2011: Based in what you wrote here, I agree there's no proof of cheating. But there is something very suspicious there. The message you read asking to pass by her house doesn't fit at all. It's hard but you have to confront her about this. And maybe ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity. But she is adventurous and much more experienced. Is my disgust at this acceptable?
Q. Although I am semi-religious, I have never accepted the idea of saving yourself to marriage to have sex.. That may have worked back in the old days, but now, society has evolved in a way that sex is almost mandatory for a healthy relationship. ...
A. 3 March 2011: It's not a matter of religion only. And perhaps you are not a Christian but you were raised into a Christian like set of values. I guess she will appreciate if you give her your virginity. The problem is she doesn't give "virginity" the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend how far my boy friend went? He's told his best friend.
Q. my boy friend and I have been dating for over a year, and we are in love. Yes, our relationship has gone all the way, as in sex. I understand he told his best friend, and I trust him too. I want to tell my best friend too, but I am afraid it will ...
A. 3 March 2011: If you are afraid it will spread around, it's because you think your friend will tell this to someone else. So DON'T tell her about it. Believe that preserving your reputation is a must.... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity. But she is adventurous and much more experienced. Is my disgust at this acceptable?
Q. Although I am semi-religious, I have never accepted the idea of saving yourself to marriage to have sex.. That may have worked back in the old days, but now, society has evolved in a way that sex is almost mandatory for a healthy relationship. ...
A. 3 March 2011: I guess that "values" is the key word here. As what you feel is nothing but your judgement of her past. You don't approve what she did. So, if you want to do the right thing you should not have sex with her. You will probably break up with her right ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 3 March 2011: Stressing over this possible cheating of your boyfriend is another way out of your life. You have too many thing to face inside you and try to fix, that you are trying escape from it.
Even if you boyfriend cheated on you, that is a minor prob... (read in full...)
Confused about my feelings
Q. I'm confused about my feelings for my fuck buddy. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last summer and hooked up with this guy really quickly after that. At first, I wasn't interested in a more serious relationship. We've known each other for several ...
A. 3 March 2011: "Do I have the right to feel crappy and used, when I'm the one who started this?"
Of course you don't have the right. You've got the relationship you wished. Get over it.
"How do I know if my feelings for him are real? Or do I think I'm intere... (read in full...)
A rich guy or someone that you love?
Q. hey i'm a heart broker and don't know what to do.. i'm chinese, stay in shanghai, i'm from hk worked in shanghai now, i met a pretty girl in my life 1 years ago, as first we just friends, cos i have a girl friend and she has a boy friend too...bu...
A. 3 March 2011: Rich use to marry rich anywhere on earth. That's so human.
When you love someone you don't care about his/her social nor economic status. I can understand if you avoid getting involved with someone too different from you from the start. But once... (read in full...)
Help. He's texting his ex. I don't want to lose what we have
Q. Please help. my boy friend and I have explosive arguements when he tells me he doesn't want me and wants to find someone else. He really makes me feel useless. we usually make up in the end. we've been together two years and i've found that when...
A. 2 March 2011: I don't think you can lead a relationship if you can't talk about this and sort it out. It's not a friend, it's an ex-girlfriend he's talking to. If he can't understand how does this make you feel, you should start talking with your ex.
I don't me... (read in full...)
Help. He's texting his ex. I don't want to lose what we have
Q. Please help. my boy friend and I have explosive arguements when he tells me he doesn't want me and wants to find someone else. He really makes me feel useless. we usually make up in the end. we've been together two years and i've found that when...
A. 2 March 2011: In my own personal opinion you have the right to feel this way. She's his ex-girlfriend and he shouldn't be texting her, specially if you don't like it. He's with you now and have to respect your feelings. It doesn't even matters if he's honest when ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble performing, but she say's I'm the best
Q. Hello, I am new to this, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time a few nights ago but I couldn't get erect at all when I got near her Vagina but when we kissed I got hard, she gave me a blowjob and a handjob, but still couldn't get it up or ...
A. 2 March 2011: Most guys have this problem when starting to have sex. It's obvious you were nervous and that's why you lost your erection. It could take you more that two more tries to do it. But don't stress over it because that would be counter productive. It's ... (read in full...)
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