| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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Should I do whatever she wants since I get to keep her?
Q. Hello i'm 19 and still a virgin. I got my first gf a few months ago but weve only met 5 times casue we live a little ways away. I'm nervous about sex being a virgin and all but she wants sex with me as soon as possilbe and threating to break up with ...
A. 16 March 2011: You are 19, you have plenty of time. Just try to meet people and talk to people (not only girls but people in general). That will improve you social skills and make it easy to get a new girlfriend. Just try yo meet people without thinking you are ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, being like a sister is not being a sister. You didn't spent every day of your childhood together as brothers and sisters do. So you can't expect the exact behaviour.
When he says he likes you like a sister he means he isn't sexually attr... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 21 February 2011: Blaming your genes won't make you any less of a cheater nor will make you less cheated (in case you are justifying someone else). Excuses are just that, excuses.... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 21 February 2011: Right. Think that cutting any kind of contact with her is the better way of punishing her and preserving you at the same time.... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, even if you don want to believe that. It doesn't mean it isn't true. The question here is whether you feel he's hiding something because he's actually hiding it or just because you won't accept he doesn't like you that way.... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 21 February 2011: It won't be easy at all. But I don't reckon you can build a family with a guy who thinks he can have another woman the time he thinks it's needed to "sort things out". What the heck is he thinking? You have to overlook he's cheating you just because ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 20 February 2011: You can be genetically predisposed to cheat. But you can always choose not to cheat, no matter what your genes say.
Everyone is genetically predisposed to copulate, that's the way humans evolved and are here yet. However, we are not having s... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 20 February 2011: Anything that keeps you in contact with her will end up hurting you more than you are now. Even if you can get revenge at all, you will always be that one being hurt the more.... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 19 February 2011: I don't get it. Why do you want to destroy her? Whatever that means.
Are you that hurt that you hate her now? How come you are so in love with her after five months of what, being her friend?
Move on, and try to grow up in the process.... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 19 February 2011: Well. I agree with you, even when that's not cheating in the way we use that word. Telling you that she loved you and talking all the time about her past love is cheating too. I think she was cheating herself more than cheating you.... (read in full...)
He asked for photos, I sent them and now he doesn't talk to me
Q. Okay, so there is the guy i've liked for over two years. We went out for a little bit last year, but we broke up for multiple reasons. We still had feelings for each other, but he moved an hour away. We still keep in contact, but i haven't seen him ...
A. 19 February 2011: Ok. Let it go. The best that could happen with this boy has already happened. Lose contact with him and look for someone who deserves you.... (read in full...)
I want to understand this. Could a guy get a girl pregnant even if he never put his penis inside her vagina?
Q. if a boy masturbates himself and gets his seminal fluid (cum) on his fingers and immediately afterwards performs cunnilingus on a girl, and puts his wet fingers in her vagina while he fingers her, could that pass on diseases or cause pregnancy? ...
A. 19 February 2011: Yes. Of course. It's really rare, but it's perfectly possible. Knowing how fate works, if you don't want to get pregnant and do that, you will end up having a baby. Take into account that you can get pregnant by having intercourse without a condom... (read in full...)
Having trouble with going limp just before sex or during.
Q. I think I know why its happening but I just want to know how to get it right again. Can anyone PLEASE HELP??? The first time it happened was a few months ago where I was very hard and before I could get in I went limp. I'm very attracted to her s...
A. 19 February 2011: In my own personal opinion your girlfriend handled it the very wrong way. And I agree with you. Her attitude sounds like the very cause of this problem coming again. Because this problem is usually related to stress. And you are stressing about this ... (read in full...)
Why does everyone I talk to judge me about this?
Q. Okay.. I don't even know where to begin . Well im 17 years old almost 18 and when i met this boy when i had just turned 16 in 2009. I liked him and he said he liked me so we started dating, but i found out his ex was having his baby, but i tried to ...
A. 19 February 2011: Keeping a relationship with him won't be easy. Even if your relationship works and you get married. It will always be harder with him. Because he will have to maintain his child too. Besides your own house and the children you may have in the ... (read in full...)
I reckon she digs another guy... what do you think?
Q. It was going fine and everything, we would sit together hugging and kissing away most of our lunch times and then it must have been wednesday she just went a bit wierd, she wasnt at school and mentioned something about things happening and things ...
A. 19 February 2011: I'm sorry you feel this way. But there is only one solution here. You have to talk to her and demand the truth about this issue. You have to ask her is she is seeing someone else. You deserve to know the truth.
Of course, be prepared for the wors... (read in full...)
Should I do whatever she wants since I get to keep her?
Q. Hello i'm 19 and still a virgin. I got my first gf a few months ago but weve only met 5 times casue we live a little ways away. I'm nervous about sex being a virgin and all but she wants sex with me as soon as possilbe and threating to break up with ...
A. 19 February 2011: If you want a proper girlfriend, there is bad news. She isn't here already. A girlfriend (who loves you) would never force you into sex. No way. This girl is anything but your girlfriend. In my personal opinion you have to make your mind here a... (read in full...)
He's into really geeky stuff and I hate it! How do I tell him?
Q. so, i love my bf, right? but hes just a little too much like my step-dad. hes into swords, and anime and stuff like that. i hate all of that crap, but i dont know how to tell him that it makes him a geek... help me? please? ...
A. 19 February 2011: The news are: you don't love him. Because love is something you feel for someone as a whole. Then, there shouldn't be something that big, being a part of his personality, that you hate. I would accept that you tell me you hate the way he brushes h... (read in full...)
Is this real, or am I hallucinating?
Q. This may be the strangest question in terms of love, but I really would like help! I've gone to my parents, to the counselor, and even my neighbor. They don't believe me! Okay, so let me set the scene; I'm 15, as it should already say on the post. ...
A. 19 February 2011: I don't believe in ghosts so I will essay a more sceptical explanation. Maybe you heard something during your trip, or in a film about this subject. Something that you saw or heard in the past and you can remember consciously. But it was held insi... (read in full...)
Should I tell my brother I had sex with his room mate?
Q. Every few weeks I go and visit my brother who's away at college. When I first met his roommate I felt this attraction to him. One day when I was there my brother had to go to work so it was me and his roommate. At first we watched some tv then one ...
A. 19 February 2011: This is a hard one. I would say that it depends on whether his roommate is her friend too. Which is more likely. Then the question could be changed into "should I tell him I had sex with his friend?" Yes. You have to tell your brother you had ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my crippling insecurity?
Q. I've always been really insecure and it's annoying the hell out of me. I was brought up to be a well behaved, polite child and I suffered for it through bullying at school. I was cast into to "weird" bin very early on and as a result became ve...
A. 19 February 2011: I think this anonymous reply here is a little too much. But the idea behind it is correct. The better cure for your insecurity can be doing that thing you want to do but you can't because of your insecurity. And yes, it's a paradox but it c... (read in full...)
I don't feel good enough for her!
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 months. I love her completely, she is the one i want to be with for the rest of my life but i'm facing a huge battle vs my insecurities and I'm trying to conquer them alone and it is destroying ...
A. 18 February 2011: I think the best thing you can do is accept the fact that you can loose her. And maybe, if you do accept that, the chances of loosing her will start to dimmer. Because the worst case would be loosing her because of you fear of loosing her.
Think... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 18 February 2011: In my OWN personal opinion you should end your marriage. He cheated on you with that woman. We are not talking about some ex girlfriend from his past, which can be really over. In fact, he doesn't think he can live without his friendship. Which ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 18 February 2011: Some cheaters will always cheat, no matter what. Those who cheat just once out of the confusion, frustration, angst or anger are more likely to not cheat again. As long as they are really sorry about what they did, even when they had an almost valid ... (read in full...)
Why do this if she had a boyfriend?
Q. My best girl friend and I walk home from school almost every day and about 3 weeks ago we started holding hand and arms round waist when walking. Then she told me she had a bf so what was the point of all of the holding hands and being close?...
A. 18 February 2011: I'm sorry but you are too young. That could mean anything, literally. She can be affectionate with you even when she sees you as her friend (strictly). Or she can be playing with you. Or maybe she's playing with her boyfriend, or both of you.
... (read in full...)
Which girl is better?
Q. Girl 1. She is attractive quite popular and seems to be nice enough and I really like her. I have never spoken to her though:( Girl 2. Likes me in that way and is a nice person kind and funny. I don't like her in that way and she is not as p...
A. 18 February 2011: Better for whom? For you? I would choose the less mature of them. I know you are young, but it's about time you learn that being with someone you don't like is a insult to her and to you.... (read in full...)
I broke her heart and now I have to fix it because I love her
Q. Ii I'm having a hard time coming to grips with why my ex-girlfriend is treating me so bad and won't speak to me anymore. Grant it, I broke it off because I cheated on her to be with my first love which by the way didn't work out. I've done ...
A. 18 February 2011: I don't reckon you can say that you would give her a second chance. You don't know what you would do if she cheated on you.
Some people use to give a second chance to cheaters. Some people give more than a second chance too. Other people (like me... (read in full...)
Meeting my half-siblings for the first time!
Q. Saturday I am meeting my two younger half-siblings for the first time. They are 16 and 14. I'm 19 and we've never met, we didn't even all know about each other until a year ago. We all have the same Dad but none of us grew up with him. They grew up ...
A. 18 February 2011: I don't have any experience in such meetings. So I would recommend you just common sense tips:
* Take it easy: get to know someone takes very much time. So don't rush into it. Besides that could be counterproductive and repel them.
* Meet ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 18 February 2011: I guess he sees you like his sister. Which doesn't mean he can't change that. But there is only one way to know that. And of course it takes a lot of courage to do it.
There is a mental thing with people who were raised too close from a young ag... (read in full...)
What shall I do with her?
Q. Recently I fancied a very female friend of mine. We used to talk a lot and once time I discovered that she was upset due to another guy, who was not asking her out but they both like each other. I went up to her and listen to all those things that ...
A. 18 February 2011: Buddy. This girl is not only using you. She is hurting you on purpose, which is unacceptable. Of course she has the right to choose this boyfriend, even if you are in love with her. But she could do a lot for not hurting you the way she does. If y... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my bestfriends worst enemy.... What should I do?
Q. I happen to have a crush on my best girl friends worst enemy I dont know if I should tell her that I like this girl. Will this ruin our friendship or should I just not tell her?...
A. 18 February 2011: She won't be happy at all, that's only obvious. But what else could you do? Your best bet is to keep your friendship as you try to date this girl. Anyway, be sure she is the right one. Don't jeopardize your friendship for nothing. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I want to meet the guy my girlfriend cheated with?
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me 7 months ago and at the time I was only able to deal with it by pretending it hadn't happened. Now I feel I will never be able to move on in my mind without knowing who this guy is. Is it wierd that I want to meet him? I ...
A. 17 February 2011: I agree with LazyGuy. Sheis the one who cheated. The guy can even not know she has a boyfriend. Anyway, it doesn't matter at all. Because she is the one who should have protected you and avoid hurting you. And she didn't. The better thing you... (read in full...)
Seeing my ex again is jumbling up my feelings about my husband
Q. I am married, and we get along and everything is going good but before I was dating my husband. I had this relationship with a guy that was older than me he was like 20 yrs older than me, and we were together for like 2 yrs but I had to leave him ...
A. 17 February 2011: It seem like you love your ex. And you got married the guy your parents wanted you to marry. Now you are blaming him (your husband) and that's why you get mad at him easily. And you subconsciously figured out the way to be in contact with the person ... (read in full...)
Is being a 24 virgin male that bad?
Q. I am a 24 yr old virgin male i try to live by the bible standards am nt perfect thats why i say try, some girls find it strange that a handsome guy at my age is still a virgin. Am waiting for marriage my girlfriend is a virgin and we both want to ...
A. 17 February 2011: If you are so sure about God and your beliefs, why do you mind what your friends think about this? You and your girlfriend agree with that. It's nobody else's business.
If you get too many replies here telling you that being a virgin is bad. Wil... (read in full...)
Boyfriend listening to his dad and now saying our baby isn't his!
Q. So i'm 17, my bf is 18 we've been together for since we were in middle school, I was 12 he was 13 to be exact. Anyway, we have a 7 month old baby girl! So a few days ago my bf's dad was talking with my bf and brought up our daughter and said tha...
A. 17 February 2011: If you are sure there's nothing to fear. The only problem here is how much all this situation offends you. About the test I think that he has to take the paternity test and that's all. If it's not his child, who the real father is is none of his b... (read in full...)
Would have I been better off if I had had a girlfriend years ago? Be honest.
Q. Hi everyone. I'm back. I would appreciate an honest answer to this question. I like feeling sorry for myself and blaming God for everything, but to do that, I need amunition. I need proof that what I'm complaining about is fair enough. I have always ...
A. 17 February 2011: I think I know what you are talking about. But as you have already been told. There is no answer to that question. There is no way to know what could have happen in your life if you had had a girlfriend when younger. You could have get your heart ... (read in full...)
He asked for photos, I sent them and now he doesn't talk to me
Q. Okay, so there is the guy i've liked for over two years. We went out for a little bit last year, but we broke up for multiple reasons. We still had feelings for each other, but he moved an hour away. We still keep in contact, but i haven't seen him ...
A. 17 February 2011: If you have changed (physically) since the last time you saw him, that could explain the issue.... (read in full...)
Porn video sent to me, how will g/f react?
Q. ive been with my girlfriend for over 1 year and 6 months and she wanted me to give up p*rn after we first had intercourse which i understand but i failed about 4 times breaking her heart which made me relise what a twat ive been about it and for ...
A. 17 February 2011: I think than your girlfriend made a big mistake by asking you to quit porn. Something very funny is, most women here on DC jump into questions when a man wants a woman to change her behaviour and start questioning "why do you want to change other ... (read in full...)
Promiscuous wife
Q. What would you do if the wife you thought the world of is a liar and deciever, born in a religous family i kept to my bible truth. I kept my virginity till marriage, my wife lied to me that she was a virgin before we got married we lived with the ...
A. 17 February 2011: Given that you wife lied to you, actually, and you have a big conflict with her behaviour (the past and the lie) you have the right to be mad at her. And if you think so, to divorce her.
Lies inside a relationship are not good. Of course I'm talk... (read in full...)
In the heat of an argument I slapped him!
Q. Okay so I posted a question earlier...It was a long story so I will make it short. I have been with a guy for six months, we are sooo into each other although there have been some issues. Valentines day didn't turn it good at all, it was terrible...
A. 17 February 2011: As long as this doesn't happen again, and he forgive you. That's it.... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain her behaviour?
Q. Ok so I got rejected by a friend of couple years after I had developed strong feelings for her. I have accepted that we can just be friends or less but nothing more. And because I feel uncomfortable around her I started to ignore her, avoid her a...
A. 16 February 2011: Like the walking dude told you. If she's your friend why would you ignore her? It's insane.... (read in full...)
So...does size really matter? Let's put it to rest.
Q. A good friend of mine let’s call him S is going through a very tough, emasculating time. A girlfriend of his made comments to her friends, stating that while she really enjoyed being with him, and that he was a great guy both emotionally and ...
A. 16 February 2011: I can't answer your question for obvious reasons. But I couldn't help posting that her girlfriend is a b*tch. And I don't think she loves your friend.
Furthermore, you have to understand that you will need a lot of answer to reach a conclusi... (read in full...)
Her past just eats away at me
Q. here der is dis girl who loves me. we are together since last 2 years. before getting into relationship she told me about her past and that too that she is not virgin. she cried about it i was hurt but just in order to make her comfortable i told ...
A. 16 February 2011: I've been there before and I know that no matter how many times people can tell you "her past doesn't count".
The truth is her past counts for you, and you know that.
I find the "rain-drop-kisses"'s answer very accurate. Anyway you have to see ... (read in full...)
Promiscuous wife
Q. What would you do if the wife you thought the world of is a liar and deciever, born in a religous family i kept to my bible truth. I kept my virginity till marriage, my wife lied to me that she was a virgin before we got married we lived with the ...
A. 16 February 2011: @answerers: I wouldn't jump into conclusions that fast. There is little information in the question.
@anonymous: If she told you that she was virgin explicitly, and she admitted to you she had sex before marrying you, you have the right to be up... (read in full...)
Do I ask her too many questions?
Q. I'm currently becoming very close and developing feelings for a lady older and more experienced than me. She is 32, me 26, I am a virgin, she has had 2 long relationships, I have never had one, she is the first girl i have ever had deep feelings ...
A. 16 February 2011: You can end up obsessing about her past later, and you will regret all the things you asked. You have not experience, so knowing much about her past can make you jealous easily.
Of course, that can not happen to you at all. But, is it worth tr... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my ex, pregnant by a rebound, want the ex back - how can I now?
Q. I moved on too quickly with this new man. I was upset about my breakup with the ex and rebounded to this new man. I used protection but my body resisted the pill I used and have fallen pregnant. I painfully told the ex who I want to get back with ...
A. 16 February 2011: In the first place: don't drink if you are going to have sex.
I guess this is not a good time to make a decision. Why don't you take a week so everybody is calm and then you figure out what to do?
There is a couple of thing you have to take int... (read in full...)
Will she realize who was I in her life?
Q. She's in a relationship with her bf for almost 5 years. She broke up but patched back with him many times. She got emotionally hurt before and cried a lot. She started having feelings for me for the past one year. She shares all her problems with ...
A. 16 February 2011: In my personal opinion you are so in the friend zone that there isn't way out. Just lose contact with her and move on. You only can get hurt by keep trying with her.... (read in full...)
She teases and flirts with me, and occasionally we touch each other. So, why did she call me her toy?
Q. This girl and I are friends. We tease, flirt and even physically touch each other. One day, we were flirting a bit and well she said "You are my toy". I know she likes to joke around a lot, but I don't get why she said that. I am not sure how I f...
A. 16 February 2011: It depends on what do you want from her. You want her as a friend? You want her as a girlfriend?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends pressure him to be single like them. He broke up with me, but immediately regretted it. Should I trust him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 14 months. We are both 17. Our relationship has been very good. We love spending time together and have lots of fun. We rarely have disagreements, but when we do, we are able to talk things over ...
A. 16 February 2011: I guess you can trust him, because it isn't a trust issue. He needs to grow up, ASAP. Leaving your girlfriend because your friends tell you so is for people under 16. Anyway, not everybody grow up at the same time. I guess you may have another ... (read in full...)
I still love my girlfriend, but she has cheated on me twice and doesn't seem to regret it!
Q. My girlfirend has cheated on me twice now and she doesn't seem to regret her actions. The last time she cheated, I found them together. When I spoke with her about the issue, she took the other guy's side. What should I do because I still love her?...
A. 16 February 2011: You need to stop loving her right now. If you appreciate your life and mental health, just leave her and move on.... (read in full...)
Two year age difference, does it make a difference?
Q. So I am 17 and have been seeing a guy who is two years younger than me. We really love each other but I worry about the levels we are on sometimes. help?...
A. 16 February 2011: I think your question is not clear.
Age difference is much more evident below 20s. Two years is not a big deal anyway. If you don't notice the difference in your relationship, stop worrying.... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 15 February 2011: If you want this girl for a relationship, don't be her friend. Move on.... (read in full...)
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