| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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How do I stop urges to like other men when my boy friend is unavailable? Even though I do love my Bf?
Q. hi. i am 24 and I have a boyfriend... he is studying in a different state and hence we are maintaining a long distance relationship from last 2 years our relationship is really good in all respects. but i have a problem of getting attracted toward...
A. 16 April 2011: I don't know how to stop that, but maybe you should try masturbating. I don't know whether this will help or not. But I don't have any other idea.... (read in full...)
Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her?
Q. Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her? Recently, I started to question myself whether I deserve a girl who loves me. I know I am young; I know I should focus on academics even though I am pretty good; I know teenage love is ...
A. 15 April 2011: You should realize you have to stop loving her already.... (read in full...)
Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her?
Q. Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her? Recently, I started to question myself whether I deserve a girl who loves me. I know I am young; I know I should focus on academics even though I am pretty good; I know teenage love is ...
A. 15 April 2011: I will tell you what a good person is: it's someone who, even without caring for you, won't hurt.
A bad person is someone who, even when is supposed to care for you, will hurt you.
You tell me which kind of person she is.... (read in full...)
How do I stop urges to like other men when my boy friend is unavailable? Even though I do love my Bf?
Q. hi. i am 24 and I have a boyfriend... he is studying in a different state and hence we are maintaining a long distance relationship from last 2 years our relationship is really good in all respects. but i have a problem of getting attracted toward...
A. 15 April 2011: I think you have sexual urges. I guess it's your instinct trying to have sex with them. And you mind (your rational mind) stopping you from doing it.
Put it another way: you want to get laid with them but you know it isn't right.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a bad person
Q. My boyfriend recently called me a "bad person" and pointed out the many wrong things I do. I admitted the wrong but I felt the use of the word "bad person" was very harsh. I asked him to leave if he wished to, but he said he wanted to be with me and ...
A. 14 April 2011: At least he's accusing you of something you really did. I guess you don't share his point of view about how bas is what you did.... (read in full...)
Turns out the girl I like is my friend's sister and its just awkward
Q. Hey everyone! It's been months since I last sought the help of my favorite group of agony aunts. But here I am, imploring you for aid once more (clearly, I'm a mess :]) This is going to sound odd. Be prepared. I'm good friends with a f...
A. 13 April 2011: There is plenty of girls out there, and it's very rare you would find the love of your life at 15 so date another girl. Don't mess around with her because it could really hurt your friendship. Think what happens after you break up with her.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend being dramatic and a baby so I broke up with him
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend on Saturday because he was being really dramatic and was pissed that I wasn't going to pick him up at the airport because I had class (I haven't seen him for three months since he lives in another state by choice). I had ...
A. 13 April 2011: I think it doesn't matter whether he's right or not. I guess you are not meant to be together. It's very obvious you don't see the relationship as he does. And I guess you will end up breaking up for whatever other reason you can find. From my p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a bad person
Q. My boyfriend recently called me a "bad person" and pointed out the many wrong things I do. I admitted the wrong but I felt the use of the word "bad person" was very harsh. I asked him to leave if he wished to, but he said he wanted to be with me and ...
A. 13 April 2011: How do you deal with the insecurity issue or being called a bad person?
With the later, everybody can say something harsh out of anger in the middle of an argument. Does he stands for what he said? Does he know you were too hurt by that?
... (read in full...)
I love my wife dearly,but her past sexual detailed confession makes me miserable
Q. Me and my lovely with get along very well although in the beging of things we went through a lot in understanding each other.to be exact we been together for seven years,one of those legally married.my wife is very understanding although very ...
A. 13 April 2011: Well. It's very common for a woman to be very different in bed depending who is in the bed with her. So it's normal she was wild with her ex, and she is different with you. You can read a lot of such stories in the net.
In the other hand is her p... (read in full...)
Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her?
Q. Do I deserve a girl who loves me as much as I love her? Recently, I started to question myself whether I deserve a girl who loves me. I know I am young; I know I should focus on academics even though I am pretty good; I know teenage love is ...
A. 13 April 2011: She's playing with you big time. She uses you and you seem to be right in the friend zone. You are right, you should date a girl who loves you back. Not her (even when I guess you aren't dating her at all).... (read in full...)
Wife had an affair, no protection and now I won't touch her
Q. Wife having an affair This went on for a year and i didnt know. she said no condoms were used. That was it , I left. I got tested and no std's. she wants me back but all that goes through my mind was his fluids. I know after sex they leak out of h...
A. 13 April 2011: You have to test HIV 6 months after first suspicious contact with her. The screening test can't tell if you are infected if you haven't been for longer than six months.
About the woman who cheated on you for a year, what could you possible... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me not to be happy that my married lover had a baby with his wife?
Q. My lover just had another baby with his wife. I am very sad and disappointed about this. Is this normal? I love the guy so much and he loves me too. We have been together for two years and has been married for three years. I have always respected ...
A. 11 April 2011: Are you kidding? Why is he having another baby? I mean, unless you two agree your affair will never move to another level, a new baby isn't good news for you. You should feel horrible because that means he never will left his wife. I don't tell y... (read in full...)
What does he mean by saying, "I don't want to hurt you?"
Q. I met this stranger not too long ago. We exchanged numbers and texted and called each other every day for a month then finally went out on a date. Everything went really well, and we set up some more dates. At the end of our second date he t...
A. 11 April 2011: "I don't want to hurt you" = "I'm about to hurt you"... (read in full...)
I had sex with my GF and my sister heard. What do I do if she mentions it to me?
Q. im 15 and have recently had sex with my girlfriend. people started to know and it got to my sisters friend. her friend told my sister and now she knows. im really paranoid that it will come up in conversation. im really close to my sister but now i ...
A. 11 April 2011: It won't be the end of the world anyway. But I don't think your sister will bring that into a conversation with you. If she does you tell her you won't have that conversation with her. That's all.... (read in full...)
She'll want sex. How can I show her she is worth more than that?
Q. okay um, where to start... well i've known this girl for about 6 years (we'll call her Chloe) and i've liked her for a good while now. i'd love to have a relationship with her; the problem is she has a reputation for sleeping around and i'm still a ...
A. 11 April 2011: You have to start by deciding whether you will put her before your own good. I can tell what you are trying to do here is praiseworthy. But chances are you will end up being hurt in the process. So, if you are willing to pay that price, go for it... (read in full...)
Thirteen and oversexed. Should I ask my brother to buy me a toy?
Q. I am 13 and I want to have sex but I am obviously to young and I get horny a lot and I don't know what to do I finger myself sometimes and I use a small toy or a hair brush it is kind is satisfying but I want a vibrator but I don't want to ask my ...
A. 11 April 2011: Well, if you are about to ask your brother to buy you a vibrator I would like you to record his face in that very moment, because I would love to see that video. Anyway, if he's 17 he could have problems to buying it too. He's still under age.... (read in full...)
I'm too young to be in a relationship with no spark, but I'm afraid to leave. Please advise.
Q. Hey everybody I need some help. Me and my now ex had been together for almost two years. And recently we had been on and off. I hadn't been happy with him for awhile, at the beginning he used to make me feel special, listened to, and wanted....
A. 11 April 2011: Well. You can't stay into a relationship because you are afraid. Which is basically what you are doing right now. You have to break up and start dating someone else. You will find other boys interested in you, of course.... (read in full...)
GF doesn't have long to live. Please help me with suggestions on handling our limited time together.
Q. Me and my girlfriend which i met on internet and never meet physically so far. Still both of us are strongly connected and feel love for each other. We were thinking to get married by the next year. We had a plan to meet and spend a week tog...
A. 11 April 2011: I'm so sorry for her and for you. I don't know how can you possible handle being with her. I can tell you cancer isn't contagious so you can have sex with her. But I don't know if it's a good thing for her. If she want to, she should ask her ... (read in full...)
Should I believe the rumor about my new girlfriend?
Q. Hey guys. I recently started going out with this amazing girl and I think this could actually go somewhere. Problem is someone she knows made up a rumor about her and her friend having slept together, I didn't take it seriously buy the more I think ...
A. 11 April 2011: How in the heart could we possible know if she's a virgin or not. Sorry for being so rude. But think about your question. We can't answer that. I'll try to help you anyhow. In the first place let me tell you: you have the right to choose your girl... (read in full...)
His friends are interfering in our relationship. Any advice?
Q. Hi! Okay, so I've been crushing on this adorable guy for most of 2010 all the way to this instant. He's everything I want, and I recently came out and told him I like him. He likes me back. The problem? His friends are trying to steal me. they're ...
A. 11 April 2011: Why is it so hard to tell him he's better than his friends? I mean, his friends are jerks acting out of their own childish minds. They are being very disrespectful with the guy you like. But in the end, no matter how much they try you won't be with ... (read in full...)
Fell in love with a man who is in a "marriage of convenience." What should I do?
Q. It's complicated, I fell in love with an Egyptian man. he is funny and kind and I love him with all my heart, but he is married. He married a woman to allow him to work in the EU as a doctor, and now she lives in her country and he is in England. ...
A. 11 April 2011: Well. You didn't tell us what you want to do. Are you afraid he's lying? You should ask him to talk with his legal wife, that's all. If you want to marry him, he will have to divorce following the laws where he lives and is married. If you want to ... (read in full...)
We're 14, are we old enough to have sex?
Q. hello, this is a pretty long question but it would be great if i could have your honest opinions, i'm 14 and i've been with my boyfriend who is also 14 for about ten months. we're very close and he's like my best friend as well as my boyfrien...
A. 11 April 2011: Waiting is a very good idea, you know. Because most of people think sex is a big issue. I mean, something not to be taken lightly. And being 14 you don't even know if sex is something you will be able to take lightly. So having sex too soon could ... (read in full...)
Only the girls I don't like show interest in me
Q. Hi im 18..im kinda shy nd quiet..ma problm is:why is it that only the girls dat i dont like show interest but the ones i like treat me lik crap..im i doin somtin wrong? ...
A. 10 April 2011: Well. Since you don't know before hand which girls like you and which don't. You have no other option that asking out the girls you like and see if they like you or not. Since you have barely written two lines I can't tell you if you are doing so... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't trust me because of what happened while we weren't together
Q. Hey there everyone, So me and my boyfriend recently got together. We were together for two years, split up for six months, and are now back together again. During these six months, I saw a couple of guys for a few months each but that didn't real...
A. 10 April 2011: I'm agree with Cerberus 100% and I won't add anything about what he wrote. But there is something I don't get. You have been taken advantage of by a close person. Do you mean he raped you? Some situations I fail to let go to midterms. This i... (read in full...)
Should I speak of my feelings first, or just ask her out?
Q. alright, well there is this girl at my college and i really like her and i really want to ask her out but there are a few problems 1) we are right in the middle of our exam period and 2) we live in different cities. So my question is i really want ...
A. 10 April 2011: Start by asking her out. If she agrees you will get to know her and you will find the right time to telling her what you feel. Otherwise you will tell her you like her without knowing her well and that's very weird. If she doesn't want to go out w... (read in full...)
We're 14, are we old enough to have sex?
Q. hello, this is a pretty long question but it would be great if i could have your honest opinions, i'm 14 and i've been with my boyfriend who is also 14 for about ten months. we're very close and he's like my best friend as well as my boyfrien...
A. 10 April 2011: In your country you have to be 16 or over to have sex. Even if your partner is your same age, it is not legal. Since there is a reason for that, maybe you would like to wait until 16 and think about this again then.... (read in full...)
Is sex something worth breaking up over?
Q. Heyyy. I'm graduating from high school next month. My boyfriend and I aren't sexually active. But lately he's been saying that he doesn't want to be a virgin when he starts college. (I honestly don't understand the rush.) But he knows where I stand ...
A. 10 April 2011: You should confront him and ask him what is he going to do. Since you won't have sex with him and he's determined to start college being not virgin. Is from his answer to that question that you have to make up you mind about him. He can tell you ... (read in full...)
I want her back and need advice how to do it
Q. I want to make this short. I dated this girl for a short period of time i played the whole chase game with her. I cared about her always went out of my way for her never abused her or made her feel bad about herself. I treated her the best i have ...
A. 10 April 2011: Talking is always the smarter thing to do. Not always an easy one. But unless you talk to her there's no way to know if she's free and willing to start dating you again. You have to open you heart to her and hope she won't hurt you. When you open... (read in full...)
I heard she liked me, so I told her I liked her and she got mad. What is going on?
Q. ok , heres the deal . Im 13 and in middle school . This girl likes me and i like her alot. I feel so attracted to her. 3 of her friends told me she likes me. one of her friends said "She likes you, she didn't want me to tell you". I told her ( th...
A. 9 April 2011: Well, maybe her friends lied to you. Or maybe she's nuts. Anyway, ignore her completely and don't ever talk to her again. Not even say hello nor you reply if she talks to you. There's no point it getting involved with a crazy girl or a girl who ... (read in full...)
BF is uncomfortable about physical scenes in the play. Should I not do them?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year and we really trust each other. I do drama and as part of a role I have some pretty intimate scenes with another guy. My bf is really happy for me that I got the role but says he is really ...
A. 9 April 2011: Under no circumstances you should stop playing drama. But, your boyfriend can't be there watching, it is insane. If he trusts you for real he will understand this. He knows it's acting and you aren't cheating on him. But the idea after role playing ... (read in full...)
Can I trust my bf again after he's cheated twice before? If so, how?
Q. Hello, I have been dating a guy off and on for about 3 years. Hes my absolute best friend and the love of my life. But, I have major trust issues with him when it comes to cheating and such. We've dated 3 times (this time being our third) and the ...
A. 9 April 2011: No, you can't. Every persons deserves a second chance, you gave him this chance already and he f*cked it up. So leave him, you are wasting your time.... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my gf keeps giving out her phone number to guys who clearly like her?
Q. So me and my new girlfriend have been together for 6 months. I'm 25 and she's 20. Things were going really well or so I thought...we started having problems when she started talking to guys and giving her phone number to them, usually on the bus ...
A. 9 April 2011: "My girlfriend says she doesn't want to be mean so she gives out her number to guys she meets on bus." Oh, right. Does she give them money too? She gives her phone number out of charity. I don't know is she is cheating on you or not. I think ... (read in full...)
Are we too physically intimate too fast?
Q. My boyfriend is 17 and I am 15, and we have been together for about two months. We live in NYC. We started kissing and making out a while ago and now its almost the only thing we do. I spend a lot of time in his room, especially at night, and while...
A. 9 April 2011: "Are we way too physically intimate too fast?" Yes, way too fast for your age. "What could this lead to?" Sex, of course. No matter how sure you are you don't want to have sex yet. If you go on like this you will end up getting laid. I ... (read in full...)
Many random hookups have spoiled my interest in sex and my faith in true love.
Q. I don't think i can ever love a guy. I have hooked up so many times that i dont even enjoy romance or a simple kiss. Kissing doesnt turn me on like it used to, b/c im not doing it with guys i even like....I feel lost, confused and impatient because ...
A. 9 April 2011: You stressed your sex life too much, and it won't be easy take the damage back. This is why sex shouldn't be taken lightly. Usually you go out with someone and start knowing each other. And when you think you know who the other person is, you g... (read in full...)
I'm just not happy and feel like a failure in relationships
Q. In the past 6 years I couldn't sense too much happiness in my life but a lot of amusement instead. In academic, I am absolutely on the edge since I got a scholarship and accepted by the best state school in england. A lot of people at my age...
A. 9 April 2011: There is the intelligence and the emotional intelligence. And being intelligent doesn't warranties you will be emotionally intelligent. Maybe you have to train you soul a little and start by choosing a better girl to love. I will tell you what: y... (read in full...)
I want her back and need advice how to do it
Q. I want to make this short. I dated this girl for a short period of time i played the whole chase game with her. I cared about her always went out of my way for her never abused her or made her feel bad about herself. I treated her the best i have ...
A. 9 April 2011: Why not? You have nothing to loose. But you have to be sure you already forgiven her about the other other guy issue. If you didn't you will end up fighting over that sooner or later.... (read in full...)
How do I stop urges to like other men when my boy friend is unavailable? Even though I do love my Bf?
Q. hi. i am 24 and I have a boyfriend... he is studying in a different state and hence we are maintaining a long distance relationship from last 2 years our relationship is really good in all respects. but i have a problem of getting attracted toward...
A. 9 April 2011: Well, you should ask yourself if you love your boyfriend for real. Because, usually, when you are in love you don't feel the need to get close to other people (in that way). Do you fear you will end up having sex with one of them?... (read in full...)
Can two people be friends if they are both married to others? If not, why not?
Q. My question is this: Can a man and woman who are both married to others also be friends with each other, if they are attracted to each other? Why or why not?...
A. 9 April 2011: Yes, of course. If they both feel friendship with each other. And if it's a real friendship, why not?... (read in full...)
Did I correctly do a hand job if he had precum, even though we ran out of time?
Q. i gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time the other day. he never actually ejaculated as we ran out of time, but there was precum. does this mean that i did it right and he enjoyed it? thanks x...
A. 9 April 2011: That means he was excited. He should tell you how good it was. If he tells you it wasn't good, ask him to tell you what he likes, and you will improve very quickly.... (read in full...)
She broke up with me for another man. Does she want me back now? What should I say to her?
Q. Two years back, I had a girl friend whom I loved so much. She had all the qualities I would need in a woman. I love her and did everything in my capacity to make her happy. We co-habited for two years in Kampala Uganda during my studies. When I ...
A. 9 April 2011: And you will keep feelings for her. But you know this relationship could never work after all she did to you. And trying to be together will make no good to her nor to you. You have to move on, that's all.... (read in full...)
Is he right about our relationship? Will I be missing out? Will we both end up getting hurt?
Q. i'm 18 and i'm dating a 26 year old. though unorthodox, we persued our relationship. through the protective older brothers and sisters, judgmental extended relatives, and questioning parents; we came out as happy as ever and perhaps ...
A. 9 April 2011: You are meant to choose what kind of life you want. You can't be everything at the same time. So, that's what life is like. Many time you have to decide to follow one path and that means not following other path. You choose something over another ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I dated his sister?
Q. Hi all, I had been seeing my friend's sister after she came onto me over Christmas. I had liked her for a long time. She told me that she had wanted me for a long time which felt good.We had several conversations in which she and i discusse...
A. 8 April 2011: If you are 100% sure you won't be back with her, you should not tell him. You will end up knowing about her anyway, Even if your friend doesn't tell you. And your friend will be mad at you, at least because you didn't tell him from the start. If y... (read in full...)
Why has she suddenly changed her mind?
Q. So me and my Gf have been dating for almost 3 years. Im 27,she is 26.Since last year she has been talking and hinting about getting engaged. To make things worse, her cousin and 2 of her friends got engaged,so all the pressure was me.She said ...
A. 7 April 2011: I'm sorry but the only true answer is "anything could have happened" from "she's afraid of getting engaged" to "she's found someone else". You have to talk to her more in order to find out. And maybe you have to look closely to her actions so y... (read in full...)
I want to get married, but she had 1 minute intercourse with a man while we were on a three month separation...Should I let this bother me?
Q. I been with my girlfriend for a very long time and we both are thinking about marriage. We have everything we want in one another. I just have question if everything you and your girlfriend did sexually was both of your guys first besides a a ...
A. 7 April 2011: This problem (she being sexual during the break) is as big as you let it to be. A lot of couples go through cheating (proper cheating, not like this) and then they cope with that and go on. Other couples just can't get over things like this. So if ... (read in full...)
I got physical with my girlfriend during an argument. She has forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself! It is always on my mind. How can I move on?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and we get along great. I can honestly say that she is the only girl I ever want to be with again. BUT at the same time I am so confused and disappointed in myself. A month ago, we got into...
A. 7 April 2011: You should see a therapist. I understand you were really pissed off. But you just can't get violent to another person (not even a guy) just over an argument. Physical violence is reserved for other situations.... (read in full...)
I want to get married, but she had 1 minute intercourse with a man while we were on a three month separation...Should I let this bother me?
Q. I been with my girlfriend for a very long time and we both are thinking about marriage. We have everything we want in one another. I just have question if everything you and your girlfriend did sexually was both of your guys first besides a a ...
A. 7 April 2011: Since it was "your break" she was in her own right to have sex. You can't even argue it was planned before hand. But in the end it doesn't even matter. The question here is are YOU going to let this bother you? If you can't handle this you w... (read in full...)
Is he right about our relationship? Will I be missing out? Will we both end up getting hurt?
Q. i'm 18 and i'm dating a 26 year old. though unorthodox, we persued our relationship. through the protective older brothers and sisters, judgmental extended relatives, and questioning parents; we came out as happy as ever and perhaps ...
A. 7 April 2011: The question you have to ask yourself here is: I am a person who puts herself over the rest (including the person I love)? I mean, you can go party and have fun without having sex with other people. Whether you are faithful or not depends on you, ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me for another man. Does she want me back now? What should I say to her?
Q. Two years back, I had a girl friend whom I loved so much. She had all the qualities I would need in a woman. I love her and did everything in my capacity to make her happy. We co-habited for two years in Kampala Uganda during my studies. When I ...
A. 7 April 2011: She had the chance to choose between you and the other guy. And you already know what she did. So her decision is made and I don't think it's a decision she can change now. I mean, where do you stand if she is choosing you for you financial status? ... (read in full...)
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