| Latest articles: Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 January 2016: If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
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Do I just tell him I want to wait for my birthday to have sex??
Q. Hey guys, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now. I am 15 almost 16 and he is already 16, he suggested us having sex, I was quite weary as to do it or not, this is because i weigh quite a lot and have very large breasts that ...
A. 22 February 2011: In the first place you have to wait to be the legal age (according to your country) to have sex.
For the confidence issue I would recommend you to start doing some sport or working out. So you get your body more like you think it should be. I me... (read in full...)
Am I separating love and sex? Or just being slutty?
Q. Hi there! Been with my boy for a long time: he'll soon move in with me and we'll get married in a few years. Love him with all my heart and I feel my future is with him. Still, I've recently started an affair with a super seductive and sexy man...
A. 22 February 2011: For a start, I find your position hard to believe given you are posting anonymously. You want us to believe you don't see what is wrong with this. Well. You have replies enough to understand this, even if you don't share the point of view, saying ... (read in full...)
Lack of trust has caused my boyfriend to have tight grip on me!
Q. I'm in a long-distance relationship with someone I truly do care about. We talk about the future, and he makes it clear that the our bond is not about sex. Unfortunately, in the beginning of our relationship, when it began to bud from a friendship ...
A. 22 February 2011: Well. You are very sure you deserver being treated like this for what you did in the past. You didn't explain about that too much, so I guess you have to be right. And you deserver this.
You said "I value being with him more than my friends"... (read in full...)
Am I separating love and sex? Or just being slutty?
Q. Hi there! Been with my boy for a long time: he'll soon move in with me and we'll get married in a few years. Love him with all my heart and I feel my future is with him. Still, I've recently started an affair with a super seductive and sexy man...
A. 22 February 2011: Cheating on your boy friend is not separating love and sex. You are a bad person for cheating on him, not for the lack of guilt. Anyway, the lack of guilt tells me you will always be a cheater.
I mean, if you boyfriend finds out and leaves y... (read in full...)
Can you believe an ex-cheater when he says he has changed?
Q. My girlfriend left me because i did not come home, and she thought i was cheating on her. I have cheated on her in the past and she found out but we worked through it. Is there the chance i can prove to her that i have changed , or have i caused too ...
A. 22 February 2011: Unless the cheating was due to a revenge for a cheating of the other partner. Or something like that, I think a cheater will always be a cheater.
Put it the other way around. If you cheated once in your life out of anger, and do really regret t... (read in full...)
Why is it that I love my boyfriend but want to be loved by this other guy too?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now(11 months) and its been great being with him. No break ups, a few arguments now and then but all resolved =). Thing is i'm nearly 16 and hes 19, i think because of his age he,s told me he's ready to...
A. 22 February 2011: She may be not of legal age for having sex. But law doesn't forbidden a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Anyway, I guess the age gap with your boyfriend is getting you trouble. Maybe this other guy (the one you cheat on your boyfriend with) ... (read in full...)
My wife won't let me move on!
Q. My wife and I separated 3 years ago when our son was 2. She was caught cheating and I left our home. Almost a year ago I met a woman who took my breath away. She was in the process of divorce and we became best friends. 4 months later our ...
A. 22 February 2011: I'm not a lawyer but FloridaCatGirl is right. You should be able to get shared custody after a proper divorce. Of course it will be painful and will take some time, but you can't be hostage of your wife.... (read in full...)
What can I do to catch her in a lie?
Q. So I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now. Since I've known her, she's always taken her car to work. Suddenly, like for the past 2 weeks, she hasn’t done this. I only found this out because I drove past her house to make sure all was ...
A. 22 February 2011: Well. Why do you think, all of a sudden, she's lying to you? I mean, you say she's been honest in the past.
Anyway, if you are really unsure about her. You will have to set a trap. Which can result a bad thing to you, if she happens to not lie ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, being like a sister is not being a sister. You didn't spent every day of your childhood together as brothers and sisters do. So you can't expect the exact behaviour.
When he says he likes you like a sister he means he isn't sexually attr... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 21 February 2011: Blaming your genes won't make you any less of a cheater nor will make you less cheated (in case you are justifying someone else). Excuses are just that, excuses.... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I think I might be gay. Help!
Q. Im 13 and i have a girlfriend but i feel attracted to boys as well. Iv watched normal porn but i watch gay porn as well because i feel like i get more horney over gay porn. I love my girlfriend a lot. But does this make me gay?...
A. 21 February 2011: From what you wrote I would tell that you can be bisexual at most. But not gay because you are attracted to both girls and guys.
Anyway, at 13 you are too young to know what you really are. Or what you like the more.... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 21 February 2011: Right. Think that cutting any kind of contact with her is the better way of punishing her and preserving you at the same time.... (read in full...)
I am so confused that I can't even think straight!
Q. Hi..there's a guy I like, he's like 6 years older than me. When we first met, he said he got an ex and his ex cheated on him for another guy. Now we've been like meeting outside and having lunch and I really like him and he looks like he's ...
A. 21 February 2011: He seems to be playing with you. Which I don't reckon is a good thing for you. And you will be hurt sooner or later. Better move on.... (read in full...)
I have no feelings for him but he seems to think we're going out!
Q. He really likes me, but I'm just not that into him.... what do I do?!? In brief, lovely guy, goes to my college and we share some classes, he's funny, charming, really sweet guy, and he recently told me he really really likes me and asked me out...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, if you don't want to hurt him you HAVE to make it clear you don't like him that way. And you are not going out.
Letting him think so will be worst for him in the end.... (read in full...)
Am I justified for breaking-up with her?
Q. I was with my girlfriend for about 1 year and I still have feeling for her. Problem is at a New Years Eve party when we were in a relationship I saw her in a corner getting off or making out with another guy. I vaguely knew him and I just left them ...
A. 21 February 2011: Forgiving is one thing. Giving another chance is a completely different thing. I'm not a Christian so I don think everyone deserves to be forgiven and much less everyone deserves another chance. But it's up to you to decide.
You have the right to... (read in full...)
I need some advice, to help my friend
Q. My best-friend, has being dating this girl for year and a month now. last Friday she wrote him a text massage saying she knew what she was about to tell him wound hurt him but prayed that he would understand. Then she said she was putting everything ...
A. 21 February 2011: You don't put your love on hold. It isn't a phone call, is it?
I guess there is not real love in the other end. So yes, he should leave her.... (read in full...)
Should I marry a non virgin woman?
Q. Should i marry a non virgin woman? I am a virgin guy, i dont want to deal with the retro what what jealousy i found out my fiancee has slept with 30 men....
A. 21 February 2011: I guess you two are too different for making a good couple. I think this will be a big issue in your relationship as it will bug you more as you start getting intimate with her.
I know that some people won't like this. But I guess you better h... (read in full...)
Why would a girl get scared off if a guy has never had a girlfriend before?
Q. Hi there question for you girls. If a girl ask a guy when was your last relationship and the guy replies he never had one why would the girl get scared off and not give that person a chance? The worst thing as well if she asked the guy if he is a...
A. 21 February 2011: @chigirl: "And virgins are known to not be good in bed." A lot of people around here will be willing to start your fans club. :)
If you happen to be the guy in this situation. I will add that these girls could think being over 26 and without ... (read in full...)
Why don't any girls want me?
Q. Okay, I realise this is a difficult sort of question to answer so I will tell you all the basics about me: I am 17 years old and have never had a girlfriend. This isn't exactly through choice, girls just aren't interested in me. I'm a quiet ki...
A. 21 February 2011: I agree with Cerberus, you may be waiting for the right girl in the wrong place. I mean, the kind of girl who will like you will hardly be there in the party.
The kind of girl who will like you is that girl who will be standing at the back in ... (read in full...)
She just wants to be friends and I want more. It is driving me crazy! Should I leave her?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, i am wondering if you can pls. help me with a problem that is driving me crazy. I have a friend whom i am feeling very close to. she just wants to be friends. but the closer i get to her the more i feel i am falling in love with her...
A. 21 February 2011: You have to leave her for your own sake. It is tortuous being with a girl you want for a girlfriend and seeing she's with other guy.
She hasn't the right to ask you to stay. Because you are wrong about one thing: if you leave her she isn't th... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, even if you don want to believe that. It doesn't mean it isn't true. The question here is whether you feel he's hiding something because he's actually hiding it or just because you won't accept he doesn't like you that way.... (read in full...)
Is he angry at me? Does he like me? What is going on?!
Q. Okay..so I like this guy and nobody knows. At first when i didn't really like him, my friend dare me to text him I love you and don't say just kidding until later. So I'm like ok how hard can that be? So I texted him sayin its nothing personal and ...
A. 21 February 2011: You will never know. Maybe he liked you in fact, and then you given him hopes with that message. And finally he was hurt when you told him it was a dare.
I guess a lot of different things can explain this too. So this is just one hypothes... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 21 February 2011: It won't be easy at all. But I don't reckon you can build a family with a guy who thinks he can have another woman the time he thinks it's needed to "sort things out". What the heck is he thinking? You have to overlook he's cheating you just because ... (read in full...)
My foreskin won't move down.
Q. okay, im 15 years old as a normal teen i am very interested in having sex and ive seen many videos and right about the time i was 12 i realized my penis was different i was unable to pull mi foreskin down also mi penis is quite big for my age i have ...
A. 21 February 2011: I know you won't like this. But you HAVE to see a doctor. I'm not telling you something is wrong with you. Don't be afraid. It's just that you have to get a doctor to tell you if everything if fine and if there is something you have to do about ... (read in full...)
I lie to my friends about girlfriends. I've never even had my first kiss!
Q. Hi er I'm 14 years old and living in Portsmouth ATM I have never had my first kiss and I lie about it to mates to not be embarrassed. How can I change this and build my confidence? I need ideas on who in general and how should I tell them? Thanks ...
A. 21 February 2011: If your friends are about your age, most of them have lied to you about this too. So you are even. :)
My two cents.... (read in full...)
Am I just being silly about her past sex life or should I be upset?
Q. Ok so this may sound pathetic, but it is a rather big deal, TO ME! I'm 18 and my girlfriend,(16) of 6 months are in a relationship where intimate touching and oral is involved, no penetrative sex, (yet). I recently found out that she lost her vir...
A. 21 February 2011: Old same problem. And I've been there so I know what you talk about and I know what I'm telling you too.
If you are already bugged by this issue, chances are this will bug you more, as you get more involved both physically and emotionally with her... (read in full...)
I believe that she is keeping her options open with this other guy.
Q. My long time girlfriend left me for another man. they had been having an affair for a couple of months. during this time she lied to me on lots of occasions. when I eventually found out I asked her to reconsider and asked if she would come back. she ...
A. 21 February 2011: I will be a little rude here, I'm sorry but I think you really need this.
What do you think is she doing with this guy while you wait? Because the most harmless thing I can think of is she's getting to know him in order to decide if she stays wi... (read in full...)
Religous boy crush
Q. Okay im having boy issues. Im thirteen years old and the boy im in love with is 16. Last summer i told him that i had a crush on him and it turned out he had a crush on me too. He told me that he liked me coz her had a dream about me n him getting ...
A. 21 February 2011: Whether he likes you or not, you will have to find out. But I guess he really likes you and for a reason (that we don't know) he went back and now is trying to make you think nothing of this was real. You have to know what that reason is and where ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 20 February 2011: You can be genetically predisposed to cheat. But you can always choose not to cheat, no matter what your genes say.
Everyone is genetically predisposed to copulate, that's the way humans evolved and are here yet. However, we are not having s... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 20 February 2011: Anything that keeps you in contact with her will end up hurting you more than you are now. Even if you can get revenge at all, you will always be that one being hurt the more.... (read in full...)
How can I convince my bf to go further sexually with me?
Q. Well, basically me and my boyfriend love each other. We want to get more passionate and we want to take our relationship to the next level. I already gave him bj's and we want to go further. I am sure this is what I want, but I'm just not convinced ...
A. 20 February 2011: You are too young to have sex. Not only legally young, but I don't reckon your are mature enough. And your boyfriend seems to realize that.... (read in full...)
What to think about my boyfriend's female-friend?
Q. My bf and I had just gotten to our 5 months when he had an emotional affair with a new female friend. Now all I ask is if he could tell me when he goes out with friends and I would do the same. Well during that whole period I found out he went wit...
A. 19 February 2011: Anyway, he cheated on you so you can't trust him, I guess. And then, his behaviour given what he has done in the past. I don't think so. In my own personal opinion he's making big mistakes here.... (read in full...)
How can I get her to notice me without talking to her?
Q. I like a girl and I want her to take notice of me, how can I let her notice me without actually approaching her and talking directly to her?...
A. 19 February 2011: There's a lot of things you can do to get her to know you exist. But none of them will give you anything but that. Let her know you exist. Something she may be already aware of.
You have to face the fact that if you like her, as for being her boyf... (read in full...)
He won't even look at me now that he has a girlfriend!
Q. Ok let's see if y'all can help me..Ok me and this guy only went out for a few days but before that we talked and flirted with each other and even after that we flirted and talked and texted and IMed on Facebook,and like whenever he had a girlfriend ...
A. 19 February 2011: Every person we meet is different and make us behave different. So, maybe, this girl really moved him and he's changed a bit.
Anyway I don't know if you are mad or worried about this.... (read in full...)
Getting over my ex and the fact that she has a new boyfriend
Q. My ex-girlfriend is dating someone new, and the new guy just happens to be her ex boyfriend from college. I wouldn't think this would bother me since our relationship ended 6 months ago, but it is. I knew we were having problems for the 3 years or ...
A. 19 February 2011: Well, did you think about the chance that she may have cheated on you during the whole relationship?
I mean, you found out she was cheating on you six months ago. But it was her ex boyfriend. That means a big chance that she was cheating since th... (read in full...)
I would like her back. But will she ever realise how good she had it?
Q. If i treat a girl like a princess and she thinks it's weird, because she has never been treated like this, will she come back?. I have cut all contact if she texts me, i don't respond. will she ever realize what she had? Will she ever come back...
A. 19 February 2011: Will she ever realize what she had?
She will be with someone else and then she will be able to compare. So yes, she will realize what she had. And then she may reach to the conclusion that she likes more what she had or she likes more what she... (read in full...)
Is it too soon in our life to have a relationship so serious?
Q. My girlfriend is 14, and I am 15. We're both very mature for our age. We both have a strong lead in Creative Writing and English Lit. We've been dating for a month and a half and we tell each other we love one another. I mean it when I say it, I ...
A. 19 February 2011: You should enjoy your love, not to question it. The better way to know if you were too young is try it and see what happens. If a couple should break up upon not knowing for sure that the relationship will work, there would be no couples at all.
... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 19 February 2011: I don't get it. Why do you want to destroy her? Whatever that means.
Are you that hurt that you hate her now? How come you are so in love with her after five months of what, being her friend?
Move on, and try to grow up in the process.... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 19 February 2011: Well. I agree with you, even when that's not cheating in the way we use that word. Telling you that she loved you and talking all the time about her past love is cheating too. I think she was cheating herself more than cheating you.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend taking advantage of me being jealous!
Q. i am 13 and my bf is 14. im a very jealous person but my bf seems to be taking advantage of this, one day he came out of lesson telling me how big this other girls breasts are and her bra size. he has done this to me with many girls on many dif...
A. 19 February 2011: Make him feel jealous for a change. And see what happens.... (read in full...)
He asked for photos, I sent them and now he doesn't talk to me
Q. Okay, so there is the guy i've liked for over two years. We went out for a little bit last year, but we broke up for multiple reasons. We still had feelings for each other, but he moved an hour away. We still keep in contact, but i haven't seen him ...
A. 19 February 2011: Ok. Let it go. The best that could happen with this boy has already happened. Lose contact with him and look for someone who deserves you.... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 18 February 2011: In my OWN personal opinion you should end your marriage. He cheated on you with that woman. We are not talking about some ex girlfriend from his past, which can be really over. In fact, he doesn't think he can live without his friendship. Which ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 18 February 2011: Some cheaters will always cheat, no matter what. Those who cheat just once out of the confusion, frustration, angst or anger are more likely to not cheat again. As long as they are really sorry about what they did, even when they had an almost valid ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or simply see me as his kid-sister?
Q. I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. ...
A. 18 February 2011: I guess he sees you like his sister. Which doesn't mean he can't change that. But there is only one way to know that. And of course it takes a lot of courage to do it.
There is a mental thing with people who were raised too close from a young ag... (read in full...)
He asked for photos, I sent them and now he doesn't talk to me
Q. Okay, so there is the guy i've liked for over two years. We went out for a little bit last year, but we broke up for multiple reasons. We still had feelings for each other, but he moved an hour away. We still keep in contact, but i haven't seen him ...
A. 17 February 2011: If you have changed (physically) since the last time you saw him, that could explain the issue.... (read in full...)
I proposed to my friend but she politely declined!
Q. so it began in october. the girl in my college asked for my no. and we started talking nicely. she had a boyfriend from last 4years and she loves him. they broke up soon after i started talking but were in touch daily. she always gave me signals ...
A. 15 February 2011: If you want this girl for a relationship, don't be her friend. Move on.... (read in full...)
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