Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Shygirl18  +, writes (27 December 2011):
You don't have to be okay with it at all. Tell her this crosses your boundaries and you're not comfortable with it. If she argues back calmly tell her that if she came to you about something she wasn't comfortable with you doing (e.g. sleepovers with a female friend) you would hear her out and compromise. Relationships may be about trust, but they're also about compromise. If she won't compromise, cut her loose.
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male
reader, Anormalman  +, writes (27 August 2011):
Man don't waste your time, obviously she is ready for a mature relationship. If she thinks her behavior is okay well she needs some growing up to do. Or if you like have a sleep over at females place and call it even. when she gets made tell her to kiss ass and hit the road.
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male
reader, coolcontrast  +, writes (5 February 2011):
No definetly, if she loves you and respects you she would know what the boundaries are..she actually expects you to be ok with that? It's common sense, you do not sleep in the same bed with another man unless hez ur partner period...i'm really sorry but i think therez something fishy going on around here..i'd suggest you find out more about this guy..
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female
reader, just a female  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 ok er you said that its just going to be the two of them at the house? and that its just for fun?...
she by all means doesnt have to sleep in his bed..you know they invented things called sofas and the floor and well anywhere but the bed.
i would say its not alright, dont let her explain that you just dont feel comfortable with it.
my bf wouldnt put up with it even if it was with my friend that i literally call a brother and have knowm for 16 years. its just not the right thing to do.
i would also be a bit weary if i were you..for fun? just the two? time to have a tak o her or do a bit of digging
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): Tell her it's called a fucking couch.
I have a straight male friend, and I'm not gay either, but does that make it okay if he was to sleep in my bed cause 'nothing can, or will ever happen'?
Fuck no.
It's not appropriate. I don't care how long they have been friends, or if they are more like siblings, but a man and woman do not share a bed unless they are in a relationship, or are actual siblings sleeping top to toe.
Unless he's gay, it's likely he's at some point thought about tapping her... likely when he's sleeping with her.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (4 February 2011):
 OK, you need to elaborate. What were the circumstances as to why she was sleeping in his bed? Where was the sleepover, his house? Is he straight? Does he have a gf? More information is needed to fully understand the situation.
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female
reader, missm83 +, writes (3 February 2011):
 NOT OK! plus if she thinks you should be ok with it...there is def something wrong with her. and obviously she doesn't love you or respect you or the relationship...if she did she would tell him :NO that's disrespectful towards my bf and unacceptable .
sorry...i think you need to rethink this relationship :/
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Also like to add I too have slept in the same bed as my male best friend, but I was single when it happened. Is it right sleeping in the same bed as another male (who may be a friend) but isn't your boyfriend/significant other? No, not really. If I did that now, what would my husband think? Or even if I had a boyfriend at that time? They would be pissed, any guy in their right mind would.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): I'm 18, have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and often do sleep in the same bed as my straight male best friend. We've been best friends since we were 11 and nothing sexual has happened and never will happen. Sometimes, I sleep on the floor, sometimes he does, often we'll just share his double bed and sleep comfortably on our own halves. I think it's wrong to assume she's cheating just because of this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): hi there... married woman here with a male friend. I sleep in his bed. trust me I do not want my husband to know what goes on. and I tell him nothing goes on...
we need more info.
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Little homey. Come on man. You know the answer to that already. NO! man wants his women sleeping in another man's bed. You need to set some boundries for her.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 February 2011):
Unless this guy is completely homosexual, then no shouldn't be ok with this situation.
She doesn't HAVE to sleep in his bed, she WANTS to. Your girlfriend doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. What's wrong with the floor of the bedroom or living room, and sofa? If she was fully aware that he didn't have a guest room(most college students don't) then why didn't she bring a sleeping bag or an air mattress?
I wouldn't trust your girlfriend.
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male
reader, II_Seraphim_II +, writes (3 February 2011):
No, you should not be ok with that. A relationship is all about respecting each other. Do you think she would be ok with you shacking up with another girl? Hell no, so why should it be any different when its her. Tell her its no ok. She should think about how it makes you feel...not cool at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): just dump her and save yourself from wasting any more od your life.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
 No, that's not alright. If I were in a similar situation I'd sleep on the floor before sharing a bed. I wouldn't trust this "friendship" at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Don't be a sucker. She is telling you this because she thinks that being "honest" absolves her of responsibility.Tell her that it's unacceptable to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Noooooo! Of course you should not be ok with that!!!! Have some self-respect, please.
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male
reader, df30 +, writes (3 February 2011):
Why is she going for a sleepover with another guy? I mean I wouldn't be down for that at all. Is he her brother? Gay best friend? My gf doesn't spend the night at any guy's house, especially sleep in the bed with him. Couldn't she at least find a couch or a blanket on the ground? Why did she have to stay?Unless you completely know the situation and are ok with it, I would be asking some questions and definitely would say, "hey girl this isn't ok."
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (3 February 2011):
You better throw some more information here. There is no point in talking about it without a proper context.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 February 2011):
I also agree there is stuff missing here. What's with the sleepover in the first place? Why is it just two of them? Why haven't you been invited? Why can't she sleep on the sofa?
Seems to me that she's being a bit unreasonable.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Here's the missing info
1. She said it's just for fun
2.It's just the two of them at his house
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male
reader, young_and_confused +, writes (3 February 2011):
There is a LOT of missing info here:
1) Why is she going to a sleepover with her guy friend in the first place??
2) Is it just the two of them?
I think that's the most suspect of everything. As for your own question, yeah, that is inappropriate. There are a lot of other options: putting a mattress on the floor or a sleeping bag and giving her the bed. But all this is not as inappropriate as her going there in the first place!
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