A
male
age
36-40,
*suxjournalist
writes:What does a college girl really mean when she says "I'm really not that great a girl" after asking her out?I met a girl in college and things were going great. We both had majors in journalism and had a lot of things in common. I never had the luxury of having any real "best friends" and she immediately told me she'd like to be the first one. We ate out a couple of times and took part in activities together. She even invited me to her 21st birthday party.Let's just say I bought her an original gift (if you ever know what a name scroll is...). Anyhow, she truly liked the gift a lot and gave me a strong hug.I kind of made time and the effort to walk with her on campus whenever I could(not always), and she even texted me this one time that she missed me during the end of spring semester.To make the long story short, it sounded to me we hit it off great...until I asked her out. Her reply was that she really did like me a lot but another guy had asked her out before me and she didn't want to let him down...and that she's "really not that great of a girl". Maybe I totally suck at relationships, communication, or maybe I'm naive and got played, or maybe I'm retarded for not knowing anything about this situation...Was I being played as a fool? Did she even like me? What I want to know is what was going through her mind all this time we've hung out? Was I playing it safe? Only serious opinions please. The internet is already filled with junk responses. Let's be green about cyberspace, so to speak.Thanks for your time and effort in reading this in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Psuxjournalist +, writes (7 February 2011):
Psuxjournalist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, I wasn't trying to complain about anything.
I was analyzing the situation. I know now not to
read deeply into the situation but thanks for the
valid viewpoints:)
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Well, you said you two started a relationship as friends. Maybe you never planned to be her friend for real. And you were trying to date her. And maybe she really wanted to be your friend. That's all. How come you were played as a fool? You asked her to be your friend, not your girlfriend.I mean, there is nothing wrong with start dating a friend. And trying to change a friendship into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But until you make public your desire of changing you have no rights to feel offended.In my own opinion you played the game by your rules and it didn't worked well. Now you are complaining about the result.
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A
female
reader, Sweety Pie  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 Ok, either:A) She has really low self esteem, and thinks shes not good enough (I think you'll know if this is like her)B) She likes this other guy she's going out with and wanted to make you feel better by saying she's not that great.C) She see's you as a friend, and again just wanted to let you down easy.Either way, sounds like you have a great friend, try not to let feelings ruin it :-)
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