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... Send *amille a private message | | | *amille's profile:I'm 36, live in the U.K and have experienced severe highs and lows. I went to see many counsellors and it took many years to find one that worked for me and helped me move on. I then began studying person-centred counselling for 2 years but had to put my Diploma studies on hold due to other committments (work etc). I miss the whole process. The truth is, many people think counselling is giving answers but that's not what it is. I do have an opinion and so here I can give it whereas in Counselling you shouldn't. I always liked the idea of helping people work through their problems / issues & to encourage them to question themselves. I prefer agony aunt answering as you can challenge people's processes outright and give help, advice and opinions. People can choose to listen or ignore it, but at least they have an outlet and i think that's a good thing. I feel I have been through allsorts of situations that may help other people through their troubled times.
I hope to give good advice without judging anyone.
I am happy in my relationship but that's due to making many mistakes in the past and finally learning from them! |
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One minute shes cool to date me, then shes a but busy, but now it seems she just wants to be friends!?
Q. She simply doesn’t seem interested but I would like your input. LAST WEEK - I asked a woman out for dinner. She accepted but with her friends planning a surprise for her birthday that weekend, she called off our date for Saturday. Fri...
A. 9 June 2006: Great!... (read in full...)
He used to be a little wild, dated lots of girls,but hes calmed down now, but I cant get his past out of my head, how do I handle this relationship ?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend going on 4 mos. and I have recently been having some issues about how I am so less experienced than he is. I have been a religious girl all my life, but have recently dissented from my religion. He is a virgin, ...
A. 2 June 2006: I think I do understand. It sounds like a case of..."I wish I'd met him after I have had some fun myself". Such is life eh? Well, you could surprise yourself, this guy may tick all the boxes. Some people only sleep with the one person the whole of ... (read in full...)
Can people really change ? Is it worth the risk giving him a second chance ?
Q. Do you believe in second chances...? I was with my boyfriend who I loved very much for about a year and half...I found out by chance that he'd slept with someone behind my back. Whilst finding this out it also came to light that he'd been contac...
A. 2 June 2006: It's so easy to say 'once a cheater, always a cheater' and a 'leopard can't change its spots' but it really is something you have to decide; follow your gut feeling. I would guess you may be here asking because you want someone to confirm that it's ... (read in full...)
What shall I do about my relationship? (long post)
Q. Hello! I have been lurking around reading questions and answers for some time now, looking for an answer to my problem. I do realize, however, that every situation is different and should be treated as such. Having said that, I have a question,...
A. 2 June 2006: Go to the Docs, get the VD sorted. Get rid of this girl who is so obviously keeping her options open (amongst other things?) and start again. Don't feel the need to talk about your past; the numbers, VD, exes..... It's not relevant anymore and if ... (read in full...)
Is friend making hints at me??
Q. I posted a question earlier on this site, but i didn;'t make it clear, so here goes again: There is this girl who is my friend and i really love her. We are both girls. Earlier this year a m8 sent around a rumour that h.j was a lesbian. I thoug...
A. 2 June 2006: I'm sure I replied to you last time but all I will add is.... Are YOU a lesbian? (last time I thought you said no?) . It sounds like she's noticed how you feel. It doesn't sound to me as if she's a lesbian. It doesn't sound like she's being a ... (read in full...)
Having sex with my best friend's husband..but his 16 year old daughter caught us in bed! Help
Q. Please help I've been sleeping with my best friends husband with her consent. It was a sex arrangement that suited us all and no1 knew, til now. Her 16yr old daughter caught us and don't know what to say. We all want to stay friends but have agreed ...
A. 2 June 2006: I guess we don't need to know why this arrangement stands and why either of the women think that no-one would get hurt when you are best friends. Not sure why either agreed to this but whatever, lies breed lies. To be caught by the daughter was ... (read in full...)
my brother's 19yr old friend wants sex and I am only 13, what do I do?
Q. hi i am 13 and i am confused my 19 year old step brothers friend keeps on nagging me and asking me if want to do things with him. he has kissed me plenty of times which i dont mind we hug every time we see each other and we have snogged but that ...
A. 2 June 2006: Tell him to get lost! Don't flirt with him, don't talk to him, don't hang around with him. He's using you. He's trying to take advantage of your vulnerability. You are young and he should know better. Be more adult than him by telling your step ... (read in full...)
It makes me feel like crap everytime he talks about her
Q. hi, well when boyfreind and i were talking on teh phone and he told me that he was wipped by his ex and not me. he also once told me that she gave him everything i could not. this made me feel like crap i mean does that mean he would get bak with ...
A. 2 June 2006: It doesn't matter whether he goes back to his ex. What matters is YOU. Yes, let him go, but not because of what he wants, but what you deserve. He's a heartless, cruel guy who is trying to make you feel insecure or jealous. Don't put up with his ... (read in full...)
Do I leave the mother of my child that I love more than anything, for my old affair?
Q. Hmmm... where to start? could fill a novel, but will try to keep it as short as possible. Worked with a particular girl for 3yrs. Grew very close became best friends. eventually this led to more. an affair of 8 months eventually led to me leaving my ...
A. 2 June 2006: The mother of your child you introduced as "met someone who wanted me full time, felt nice for a change". Don't you deserve that? The "girl' who is supposed to be the one, isn't...or she'd have made you feel the same. She'd have left her partners ... (read in full...)
Emotional Cheating but it is just as tough to deal with
Q. Hi, my bf and i have been dating about 2 and a half years, i am 20 and his 25 years old. the problem is about 7 months ago i found out he was emotional cheating with another female, he says they were just friends but there was an obvous attraction, ...
A. 2 June 2006: Sadly you're left with the baggage and his mind is probably free of the load. The first thing you must stop doing is looking through his stuff. I assume you haven't found anything? If you doubt his word and fear him cheating then your relationship ... (read in full...)
His wife rang mu husband to abuse me...advice please
Q. i'm the person who wrote "My lovers wife found our sex tape, hes turned to religion and doesnt want to know me, but I cant be without him!" on 27th May. now i'm having another problem. the wife rang up my husband and in an abusive way said...
A. 2 June 2006: I feel sorry for her too; that she was cheated on. Surely you can understand her hurt & frustration? She has every right to be insecure. It's nothing to do with you anymore. Whatever conversations they are having now are between them. If you wish ... (read in full...)
One minute shes cool to date me, then shes a but busy, but now it seems she just wants to be friends!?
Q. She simply doesn’t seem interested but I would like your input. LAST WEEK - I asked a woman out for dinner. She accepted but with her friends planning a surprise for her birthday that weekend, she called off our date for Saturday. Fri...
A. 2 June 2006: I think you're being a bit hasty! Give it a chance. I don't think you have reason to think she's not interested by the 'evidence'. You say 'she doesn't seem interested' yet you talk of her flirting and SHE invited YOU out before the concert. It was ... (read in full...)
He used to be a little wild, dated lots of girls,but hes calmed down now, but I cant get his past out of my head, how do I handle this relationship ?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend going on 4 mos. and I have recently been having some issues about how I am so less experienced than he is. I have been a religious girl all my life, but have recently dissented from my religion. He is a virgin, ...
A. 2 June 2006: If you do not forget about his past, you have no future with him. It's that simple. The hard part is how to push it out of your mind. I'm not sure why he told you all that information as I don't see it's any of your business. He is still a virgin so ... (read in full...)
I used to be a cheater, but now I have changed, I dont think My girlfriend believes me, how do I prove to her that I wont cheat!?
Q. Im not sure how to convince my girlfriend i will not cheat on her, she says that she knows that i wont but i really dont think she means this, the reason for this is because i have had 2 serious relationships in the past and both i have cheated. I ...
A. 2 June 2006: It's a shame your girlfriend knows about your past because it's easier for you to know how you feel & be sure you won't repeat history, but for her all she can see is a poor track record. Basically you have to prove it with your actions as well as ... (read in full...)
He says that it would be so easy to cheat on me, but he don't want to....what am I supposed to think about this?
Q. My b/f i think has a lot of sexual experience. We have gotten into a lot of arguments about various things not just trust and all that. He says he does not want to argue as much and its too stressful. He said if he wanted to mess around on me--he ...
A. 1 June 2006: I'm sorry but if you keep going on about he's more likely to do it. So what if he could get it when he wants? So could you. Most people could. But he isn't and I think that's the point he's trying to make. You're not listening because you're taking ... (read in full...)
How can i keep my affair a secret from my sister and my boyfriend?
Q. hi i am 21 and livin with my sister whos married in london.i ve been having a secret sexual realationship with my sisters husband and he tells me that he likes me just for sex and i too like him to have sex with me only.i have a boyfriend also and ...
A. 1 June 2006: You are acting in a totally immature, selfish, cowardly, cruel way just because you are getting a buzz from the secrecy. Perhaps you even enjoy getting one over on your sister while her husband get his leg over you. She has kindly taken you into ... (read in full...)
I made out with this guy from work and now it seems weird being around him. Should I just quit what I'm doing?
Q. Hi, I have started working in this business for about 2weeks, i love my work but there's this guy who works with me. He's not in my department but I see him most of the time. For the two weeks i've been there...we started talking alot. Everyone...
A. 1 June 2006: For the time being, stay away from him if you can. Don't take his calls in the middle of the night but be pleasant and friendly at work. If he has a reputation, you need to give him time to win you over if he's seriously interested. Make sure you're ... (read in full...)
All I could do was think of him when we were apart, but he rings an ex....
Q. myself and my man just recently moved in together,we get on well but when we argue he seems to take it too far and drag it out, anyway we had a major fall out last week and he moved out. we got back together and we where getting back on track then ...
A. 1 June 2006: It's not the call that's worrying as much as the what was said, why and (hopefully not) was it to make an arrangement? You say he said "It doesn't count" , what didn't count? It sounds as if there's something else. You knew he kept in contact with ... (read in full...)
I am having cybersex with my boyfriend but I don't know what to say!
Q. i m 17+.my boyfriend and i dont really have sex as we are not at the same country.or this is not the time to do so.but still when we chat in the net,he asks me what will i do to make him more romantic and to love him more.both of us starts from head ...
A. 1 June 2006: I'm not sure if you're saying you don't know what to say but really want to join in? Or if you feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. Personally I would say whether you are on the net or face to face, if you feel pressure to do something, don't ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant?
Q. i haven't had sex with my boyfriend for 2weeks now cause he works away, but i forgot the pill when we did on many occasions, i have started feeling very light headed, but i had a period just last week, but i dont know whether it was a period because ...
A. 1 June 2006: Take a test asap. Most can tell you if you are pregnant the moment you are. Best not to wait any longer because you shouldn't continue taking the pill if you are. You could be pregnant if you had unprotected sex within the 7 days following your ... (read in full...)
What are male preferences for girls hair and height?
Q. teenage male advise - do you prefer a girl with their hair up in a pony tail or down? second question - curly, wavy or straight hair? third question - do you prefer a girl that is tall or average height cos my mate is very tall and all the boys loo...
A. 1 June 2006: Why do you want to know this? Or you planning on turning yourself into what the majority of people's preferences are? Please know that beauty is skin deep, it's in the eye of the beholder and that you are great the way you are!
Everyone is uniq... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is leaving for the army soon
Q. wot do you do if the man you are with is breaking your heart but it hurts just as much not to be with him? here is the story, im 18 and my bf (20) of over 2years joined the army on monday and it is killing me, ive tried keeping myself busy but it i...
A. 1 June 2006: I can't imagine what you must be going through. Only you can choose whether to stay with him or not. If you truly love him and want him to be happy, you obviosuly have to accept what he wants to do. It's hard because it's not what you want, but ... (read in full...)
I got frisky with my friend, how do I get him to talk about it?
Q. I've been friends with a guy for about a year and 8 months now. We don't get to see each other too often anymore, what with university and everything. But 10 months ago, we were at picnic/party thing with some other friends we don't really see that...
A. 1 June 2006: Maybe he soesn't want to spoil the friendship which is why it hasn't gone further and you don't talk about it? If you're both single and you're not hurting anyone, maybe it could turn into something else but..... what if either of you meet someone ... (read in full...)
Does this guy want a relationship? Or was it just a laugh!
Q. Hi, i have been having some work done on my home by my landlord, a few months ago his friend came with him, we chatted and got on well, then i didnt see him for a few months as he has children he sees regulary. last weekend he came with my landlord ...
A. 1 June 2006: You sensed a spark and he kissed you....I'd guess he likes you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking your landlord for his friend's number. (maybe do it over the phone rather than in 2 weeks). Why not just go right ahead and ask him out for ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so paranoid, when my partner goes out without me ?
Q. Hello Everyone I am in a good relationship (gay) my partner gives me no reason not to trust him and its the same for him with me.However i do trust him but at the same time when he goes out without me for a night out i cant help but get paranoid...
A. 1 June 2006: p.s Do you go out too? If not, maybe that would help, but not if it's a tit for tat game to make him jealous ;)... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so paranoid, when my partner goes out without me ?
Q. Hello Everyone I am in a good relationship (gay) my partner gives me no reason not to trust him and its the same for him with me.However i do trust him but at the same time when he goes out without me for a night out i cant help but get paranoid...
A. 1 June 2006: I have a saying and wish it held some conviction... I trust him, it's everyone else i don't! I have seen people hit on my boyfriend and i too trust him (and he, me) but in our society it's easy to see why we can get so paranoid. I can't help you to ... (read in full...)
Will my relationship with my girlfriend work out?
Q. On and off again, 5 times in 5 months. Is she going to change her mind again this time? To make this as short as possible, i'll leave out the insignificant details...I moved to where I'm at now, 2100 miles from home, last year and met a girl at the ...
A. 1 June 2006: She has been through a very difficult time with her ex so she needs to sort herself out. It sounds like (as you said) too young, too soon and too intense. It's not good for her son to have you in and out of his life either, so it's eithe rone last ... (read in full...)
I fancy my flat mate but I think I have blown it!
Q. I have been friends with a guy who is my housemate. i have had feelings for him for a while but i am not sure how he feels about me. last night i drank too much and ended up phoning him and saying that i wanted to talk to him about something, making ...
A. 1 June 2006: Try not to worry. Boys don't always answer texts as quick as girls and in that time you can drive yourself mad with imagining what they're thinking. Just wait and see what he says the next time you speak, text or see each other. Maybe the 3 months ... (read in full...)
My fella is always hanging round his ex still...
Q. EX ISSUES!! OK me and my man been talkin for 2yrs 1/2 and before he went with me he went out with this gurl name Ashley* and Ashley is his sister best friend. They went out for about a 1yr 1/2 and he said he thought he loved her but found out he ...
A. 1 June 2006: 1. Who is he with? YOU so you shouldn't have anyhing to worry about.
2. She IS his sister's friend so you can't expect her to give that up because of him.
3. If you don't trust him, why not?
When she's around, just be yourself, be nice to her.... (read in full...)
I cannot get over my ex
Q. I know this is a pretty standard scenario but I am struggling very hard to come to terms with the break up of my relationship. My b/f moved to the other side of the world 2 months ago after we had been together a year. He went while we were still on ...
A. 1 June 2006: It must be very difficult for you. Long distance relationships are hard but can work. It may be that you were missing him so deserately you decided long distance wasn't for you, but it wasn't the only solution. Is there a chance you can try again? ... (read in full...)
Who should I choose?
Q. well.. I am sort of in a relationship with a guy, however it's not an actuel relationship, we just have deap feeling for each other and act as if we are in this relationship. (i know, kind of confusing huh!) anyway.. i met this other guy at a ...
A. 1 June 2006: Why can't you just be friends with both? Do you have to have a relationship with either? You have feelings but maybe it's too soon to know whether you have a crush or deep feelings or just a strong connection/bond with one or both. Maybe make a ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but I wasn't on his "top-10"... why!?
Q. I'm soooooo confused about this one guy!! Ok well we were talking back and forth and he thought I was really cute and stuff, but when i asked his friend who he liked he wrote 10 girls he'd go out with and i wasn't on there...Then he would flirt with ...
A. 1 June 2006: There's only one person who knows the answer and that's him. The fact he easily listed 10 girls he likes sounds like he's a young male with raging hormones (natural) or a bit of a player and I'd stay well away! I'm not sure why he wouldn't admit to ... (read in full...)
Am i too young to understand?, or are there men out there that only love one women and not be intrested in others?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years. We love eachother, there is no doubt about that, but he has done some things i can't seem to forget about. He's never cheated on me (that i know of) but he admitted to asking for a girls ...
A. 1 June 2006: My male relative once told me that any man offered it would take it. I was devastated. I spoke with a male friend who said that was rubbish. He himslef had been in bed with a 'friend' who was trying to get him to have sex with her, but he refused ... (read in full...)
Does all this stuff I found on the internet, mean that he will cheat or has already cheated on me ?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for 2years and i have discovered some devastating things about him. Sometimes I wonder does he love me, he says he does but his actions say otherwise. Here is the problem the first incident is when i found a sex webs...
A. 1 June 2006: He may love you but his actions are disrespectful and you don't deserve it. Whether he would have cheated or not before you confronted him is irrelevant now, because he did it. That is not your fault. He is responsible for his own actions. Don't ... (read in full...)
My Bf's Friend he awkward to be around, He says I dont like him, when Im the one making all the effort, How can I fix this ?
Q. Hi all, i dont know if anyone can help me here but my bf has made a new male friend at his studies, my bf and i live together and sometime my bf will invite his new friend over to stay the nite, the problem is his friend just wont talk to me and i ...
A. 1 June 2006: All I can suggest is to calmly talk to your bf again and point out that surely he can see & hear for himself the effort that your putting in? Then perhaps talk to the 'friend' and be straight. If you're honest, upfront and not afraid to speak it may ... (read in full...)
I tried checking out if he was cheating, by faking email accounts, I cant tell him, but was all this wrong to find out if he was cheating ?
Q. I thought my guy was cheating. I found all kinds of things from the internet, phone text messeges and porn sites, and sites like xuqa that plainly have things that will make me suspect him of cheating. I cried alot over this and have told him abo...
A. 1 June 2006: I'm sorry but yes it was wrong, but also a common human nature trait. Lots of people 'snoop' but in fact it's rather more serious. It's an invasion of privacy & it's deceptive. Not to mention how destructive this behaviour is to you. You are doing ... (read in full...)
I want my own life, but I do want my baby to know it's father!
Q. Im having a baby very soon. The baby's dad left me as soon I fell pregnant and is now happily attached to a new woman. When he left he told me i should find someone new to bring up the baby and that he didnt want any contact with it. Now he has chan...
A. 31 May 2006: What about YOU? It seems the men in your life are quite happy to tell you what they want without you having any say. If your ex is going to be a father then his new partner has to accept that too. It's great you want the baby to know its dad, but he ... (read in full...)
Can we move on from our past or no? What should I do?
Q. After a bad end to a bad relationship which resulted in our son being born - he's nearly three. My ex and I have begun getting on really well. We spent two lovely weekends together and inevitably slept together. We have so much history not all good, ...
A. 31 May 2006: All I can say to that is, who knows? You know him better but I do think that SOME people can change and perhaps you both have? Perhaps you're both tired of the bad times? May I suggest taking it very slowly and to cut out the sex? Many decisions ... (read in full...)
I believe someone lying to me.....how can I get over this?
Q. ok my current bf (17)(and i am 16) thought i was going to dump him so he went to my best friend and told her he had feelings for her then when she told him she had feelings for him too he said he was staying with me. but that is only the beginning ...
A. 31 May 2006: I'm not sure you can move on emotionally or mentally if you're still with him. The 2 people closest to you went behind your back and you're hurt. You say you forgive them which is a good step for you (and lucky for them) but why do you want to stay ... (read in full...)
Am I in Love with this girl? I think about her all the time, I even dream about her!
Q. can this be posted, i only got one reply last time which wasnt very good. do you think i may be in love??? a few years ago i went out with this girl at my school for 6 months but we broke up due to harrasment from other people. her friend asked me...
A. 31 May 2006: I'm not sure if you're in love but you've definitely got the hots for her! I don't know why you suffered harrassment from other people, that's a shame. Perhaps they were being immature or were jealous? The fact that you lied to her friend about ... (read in full...)
I've got a crush, shes got a BF, and shes best friends with my sister,I want to ask her out, but that would be wrong, what should I do ?
Q. Hey I think I have developed a crush on one of my sisters friends. I'm 18 and the crush is 17 BTW. I think it's a crush anyway. I go all shaky whenever I talk to her over the internet via msn and I see her every now and then when my sis invites ...
A. 31 May 2006: I'm sorry but you told her how you feel & she already gave you her answer. Maybe if she didn't have a boyfriend, things could be different. Put yourself in her bf's shoes, how would you feel if you found out that your gf was being hit on by another ... (read in full...)
I've never been in love with him, I have affairs for fulfilment, he wont hear of divorce, what do I do ?
Q. I have been married for the past 7years. But never been in love with him in the real sense. I just cant stand his way of making love. I have been having a couple of affairs for the past 4years. Even if I dont orgasm I love their ways of kissing and ...
A. 31 May 2006: Not entirely sure why you married a man that you weren't in love with. Rather than say you made your bed, lie in it, I want to say get out of both the marital / lovers' beds and lie in a single one for a bit....Your question is littered with so many ... (read in full...)
I gave him an ultimatum: The dogs, or me. He chose the dogs...
Q. my husband has chose to keep his two dogs over our relationship did i do the right thing in making him choose as the dogs ruined my home and took over our bed or do you think i am unreasonable...
A. 31 May 2006: Forgive me for asking if this is a real question? I have seen a programme with people who have done the same but find it hard to understand people who'd choose their dog! Anyway......did you try and reach a compromise before the ultimatum? The thing ... (read in full...)
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