Like what
she writes?
... Add *amille to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *amille a private message | | | *amille's profile:I'm 36, live in the U.K and have experienced severe highs and lows. I went to see many counsellors and it took many years to find one that worked for me and helped me move on. I then began studying person-centred counselling for 2 years but had to put my Diploma studies on hold due to other committments (work etc). I miss the whole process. The truth is, many people think counselling is giving answers but that's not what it is. I do have an opinion and so here I can give it whereas in Counselling you shouldn't. I always liked the idea of helping people work through their problems / issues & to encourage them to question themselves. I prefer agony aunt answering as you can challenge people's processes outright and give help, advice and opinions. People can choose to listen or ignore it, but at least they have an outlet and i think that's a good thing. I feel I have been through allsorts of situations that may help other people through their troubled times.
I hope to give good advice without judging anyone.
I am happy in my relationship but that's due to making many mistakes in the past and finally learning from them! |
|
I want a relationship with my sister in law's brother
Q. Is it considered wrong to have a romantic relationship with my brother's wife's brother?...
A. 13 June 2006: Nope, not at all. But if you just fancy him, perhaps not the best decision when the rest of the family could be effected.Take it slow as it could get complicated but if your feelings are true and strong, then there's no harm as long as you've ... (read in full...)
We've been off and on, right now we're off and I know we can work this out...what should I do?
Q. theres this guy i am truly in love with, hes also my first we have been together for over a year and a half now and we have just been on off and now its off again but i want to get back together and i know we can make it work and last but i dunno ...
A. 13 June 2006: I'm sorry to be blunt, but what makes you think you can make it work if it hasn't so far? I wouldn't waste your time. Sadly the 'first' love is usually a heartbreaker, but I would move on and get on with your life because this relationship isn't ... (read in full...)
I am not having sex with my BF and it is frustrating me
Q. i have been with a guy, sam ,for 4 years, the first year we used to have sex say once a week/fortnight. it gradually got less and less and started having petty arguements all the time. after the second year we didnt have sex for almost a year. we ...
A. 13 June 2006: Sex is a high priority for you so I don't think you're compatible. I don't see how it can work if your sex drives are SO different. I personally think that sex is very important and hardly any sex in a year and once in 6 months would worry me. You ... (read in full...)
Why do men fancy my friend and not me!
Q. hey! im 16 an whenever me an my mate go out an about men are always looking at her and beeping at her in cars, that always happens to her cos she is so tall and slim. but i am average height and quite curvy, but slim aswell, so why dont men look at ...
A. 13 June 2006: How do you know all the beeps and whistles are for her? Are you assuming so because of low self-esteem? Or does your friend presume it's all for her? I was the same at school, all my friend got more male attention, but don't worry, you'll get your ... (read in full...)
Confused about my sexuality (long post)
Q. Right I'm having a problem, and I've tried hard to ignore it for my sake and for my families sake, and ESPECIALLY my parents. but I'm afraid it's not changing. This might be long so please bare with me, I need to get this off my chest. I'm singl...
A. 13 June 2006: Firstly try not to panic. Whatever you 'are', you are you and you are normal. Don't let family or friend's prejudices confuse, upset and especially guide you. If you haven't had any sexual activity as yet, you just perhaps haven;t found the right ... (read in full...)
Why am I putting on so much weight? Could I be pregnant or something?
Q. I was 8 and a half stone and am now nine....now I think I checked my weight about a week or 2 ago. Is it normal to put on this much weight in this time or could it be that I am pregnant or something....help!! What is it? ...
A. 13 June 2006: I'm sorry but there's not really enough information to give a proper answser. If I had to hazard guesses, I'd ask your eating patterns first, then age, then foods you're eating, at what times, whether partaking in any exercise or recently stopped, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to go against my religion, but I do want to give my girlfriend what she wants!
Q. Hello I am 14 years old. I have been dating this girl for 4 months 2 weeks and I have already proposed to her and plan to spend the rest of my life with her. She asked me a couple of nights ago to have sex with her soo I said yes. I'm highly a ...
A. 13 June 2006: Don't do it. Never mind religion, you are too young for the emtional baggage that could come from having sex way too early. Not to mention, it's illegal. I think it's too early to propose too and make such lifelong promises, but IF as you say, you ... (read in full...)
I don't think it's fair that my boyfriend listens to his ex's opinion!
Q. I am a 23 year old female and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have a 1 year old son together. He also has 2 children with his someone else. I know he cheated with this person he has these other children with in ...
A. 13 June 2006: I can see it from all sides but I have to say in your defence, you and your boyfriend also have a child together and have been together for 5 years and as you say, his children are around you when they come to your home, I think the onus lies with ... (read in full...)
How do I get through the World Cup ? Need some attention from him, any ideas!?
Q. I know many women will be able to sympathise with me on this problem - I'm sick of my man leaving me alone to watch the World Cup!!! He's mad about football but now, there's like 3 matches on a day and I never get any attention whatsoever!! Mos...
A. 12 June 2006: Dr T is spot on. They sell knickers with footie messages on the front. Football shirt's are sexy on girls! And because I am also behind my home team we're watching togther. You don't have to like football to join in and watch the world cup. If not, ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if a boy has an erection?
Q. hi im 15. if you were talking to a boy how would u know if they had an erection? or if they were just walking past, would you know if they had an erection?...
A. 12 June 2006: You may know, you may not. It depends if you're staring at his nether regions and I pity him if you are, poor lad! It also depends what's he's wearing you may not be able to see. I'm only guessing, if there's someone you like and you're trying to ... (read in full...)
What is an orgy?
Q. What exacty is an orgy?? Help, I feel so stupid for not knowing....
A. 12 June 2006: I myself don't partake in such wild abandon, but for xxxsoulsistaxxx to call it "disgusting" is just their own personal opinion not shared by everyone. Each to their own and if that's someone's preference then as long as it's consensual and not ... (read in full...)
I need information about pregancy!
Q. How do you know if you are pregnant? Can you give me a list of signs, please. Oh, and if you are pregnant then do your periods continue? Is your first one since becoming pregnant early or late? Please help. Any information will be grateful...
A. 12 June 2006: Just take a test that's the simplest way to know for sure. People's symptoms may vary plus some mimick those of an impending period so it may be hard to tell. Periods stopping is one but does not necessarily mean pregnancy. Swollen /tender breasts, ... (read in full...)
I have an obsession and can't shake the feeling that my boyfriend is seeing someone else!
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend on and off for about 3 years. Recently I have become obsessed that he is seeng someone else and doubt and question everything he says. I dont no why I feel like this, because he loves me dearly. I have asked him if h...
A. 12 June 2006: I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. What's interesting is that you say that you don't know why but think it's to do with the past, except that it's a recent thing. Did your past experience happen after about 3 years? If not, I'm wondering ... (read in full...)
She wants a break, but I'm scared this will be the end...what can I do?
Q. i love my girlfriend more than i love life and now she has asked for a relationship break, i fear this is the end of us, and its killing me, i know for certain i cant live without her, how do i convince her to return to me and at the same time ...
A. 9 June 2006: Firstly don't think I am being uncaring or not understanding. You say you love her "more than you love life", many people say such huge, dramatic statements such as this and you "can't live without" her etc but you CAN live without her, you just ... (read in full...)
One minute shes cool to date me, then shes a but busy, but now it seems she just wants to be friends!?
Q. She simply doesn’t seem interested but I would like your input. LAST WEEK - I asked a woman out for dinner. She accepted but with her friends planning a surprise for her birthday that weekend, she called off our date for Saturday. Fri...
A. 9 June 2006: Great!... (read in full...)
All I did was answer her question honestly, now shes hardly talking to me! what have I done wrong?
Q. Hi, this is my first time doing this, im also using my wifes account!! im really confused, the other day my wife asked me if i fancied any one and i didnt think i did, but after thinking about it all night i realised i do fancy atleast 10 people, i ...
A. 9 June 2006: I was just about to say the fact that the wife is giving birth next week explains more than amply why she asked the question. And I was going to add how unforgiving a man to be so brutally honest and hurtful during this time especiallyNow i have ... (read in full...)
What is emo?
Q. Im sorry if this offends people like it did when i asked this girl. I asked her 'what is an emo'... and she was saying she didn't want to tell me because everyone called it her when she kept on saying that she wasn't. So can any one else here tell ...
A. 8 June 2006: emo = emotional... (read in full...)
I think I caught something from the boy that I had sex with...what can I do?
Q. hiya, im 15 and iv had sex with 4 boys! i last had sex with a boy about a month ago, in the last 2weeks iv been having realy bad discharge. the boy i had sex with is not my boyfriend and i know that hes had oral sex many times but never had sex i ...
A. 8 June 2006: I'm sorry but I am going to be very blunt here as everyone else seems to be gently advising you. Go to the doctors and for goodness sake, stop having sex until you have the maturity to handle it! It's not just you, it's eberyone you sleep with plus ... (read in full...)
He said he would pull out, now I am late
Q. hi everyone, my boyfriend lives far away and he was down a couple wks ago, we had unprotected sex as he said he would pull out(definently not a smart idea) he has now gone home and I am 5 days late...should I wait it out before telling him? or ...
A. 8 June 2006: Tell him what exactly? That you're late? Just get a test, see if you're pregnant. Worry can make you even later so know for sure. It takes 2 so whether or not he 'said he'd pull out', is not relevant....men can get carried away, they can lose ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for hair to grow in certain places?
Q. is it normal for a teenager boy to have hair grow on his arms, both lower and upper, on his back neck and borderline, stomach and legs same as the arms, and im 15 and im really worried because you can see the hair plzzzz help me...
A. 8 June 2006: There's no normal or not normal. You may have hair before other boys and some remain pretty hairless, but there's certainly nothing wrong with you! Don't worry. If there is a great amount of hair and you don't like it, maybe wait and see. It's early ... (read in full...)
I really really like my internet guy, but I'm not yet attracted to him, will this change in time ?
Q. Hi. I'm going out with my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. We met online, and when we met in person, I wasn't really physically attracted to him, he's cute but there were never any real instant sparks. But I pursued him because I found him to ...
A. 8 June 2006: If you like him as a person maybe the attraction will follow. I know most people think that's not true but indulge me... I think attraction is VERY important and find it hard to understand anyone who doesn't have that in their relationship. But way ... (read in full...)
I never told her I was really serious, should I have done, is that why she cooled off ?
Q. OK..perhaps one for the ladies to clear for me: I used to work in the next office to a girl I barely knew but really fancied. We used to flirt a lot, then her company moved. By chance I met her again and asked her to meet for a drink, we had a ...
A. 8 June 2006: Why don't you just ask her? There's no point asking anyone else as we can't guess....but ......she may have been hoping you would have made a move and maybe she thinks you're not interested? Maybe just tell her how you feel and see what she says? ... (read in full...)
He was a real brute in the bedroom and forced himself on me, and then couldnt understand why i chucked him out! Do men get kicks out hurting women during sex ?
Q. hiya everyone, this is my sister in laws account. she recomend i go on here with my problem as she didnt really to know my problem. well im not sure if this is going to get posted because its a little extreme but if it does, oh please some one help. ...
A. 8 June 2006: I am so sorry that you have suffere4d in this experience. Some men do get a kick from rough sex and so do some women, but not in your case and that's the issue. You say you couldn't be heard over the tv? I'm sorry but this was before he rolled you ... (read in full...)
Did I orgasm...I can't tell?
Q. ok i think i got an orgasm but....im not sure! i mean when i stood up..down there was all numb and tingly for a while, and it sorta felt wet but i read about it.....and my heartrate didn't go up, and my breath didn't get heavier, but i did fe...
A. 7 June 2006: It sounds like you were highly aroused. If you're not sure, I'd say you didn't. I think you'd know when you do ;)
... (read in full...)
I' m too big of a flirt! I dont know how to stop..please help.
Q. im too big of a flirt!! and i dont know how to stop! i love my bf soo much! but, i tend to flirt with all of my guy friends, almost too much! my bf notises it, and hes getting really pissed at me for it! i always tell him that i dont like...
A. 7 June 2006: You just stop. I used to be a flirt but now I never flirt with anyone but my boyfriend. I hadn't really noticed it before, but when I realized that I was doing it, I felt uncomfortable with so called innocent flirting and I don't see it as innocent ... (read in full...)
he was so in to me..then he went cold, suddenly. Was it really our age gap or something else?
Q. First off I will tell you that there is an age gap between me and my man, I am 34 and he is 20. We met last August and to be honest when we first met I didn’t know his age and he certainly didn’t look 20! He thought I was a lot younger too! But by ...
A. 7 June 2006: I'm 36, my boyfriend 26, we've been together over 4 years, so I can't say to you that it is or isn't your age gap that caused this change. I think it may be linked with what I suspect is the real reason, but it's not necessarily the main cause. All ... (read in full...)
I know I am being immature, but I want him to come back....
Q. Need some quick advice and serious blunt answers, and opinions, I've written before about this, and I read what someone just wrote and it made me realise something, I'm being stupid. my ex and I recently split and I'm finding it very hard to mov...
A. 7 June 2006: It's got nothing to do with maturity, but you must stop texting him. I've been on both sides of this fence and neither is a great place to be. In the future you will see that but right now your emotion is clouding your rationale. So, stop texting ... (read in full...)
Sex tips needed!
Q. I'm 21 and have been seeing my boyfriend, 23, for 3 months. I'm a virgin, he's not and he has been wonderful in not pressuring me to do anything i'm uncomfortable with. We've been getting pretty close lately and he fingered me for the first time. ...
A. 5 June 2006: He sounds understanding so maybe get him to show you? Teach you? If you want to masturbate him, maybe ask if he could put his hand over yours the first time to guide what speed he likes etc. Grip hard, but not like a vice. Not all men are the same ... (read in full...)
I am worried about being pregnant but I am on the pill
Q. hi there, im getting concerned... i started the pill (cerezette)last month (may 8th) i finished the 1st pack last night and due to start my second pack this evening. instead of starting the pill on the day of my period i started it on the 2nd day ...
A. 5 June 2006: It's highly unlikely that you're pregnant but you need to see your doctor again or go to a family planning clinic as you have confusing information. Yes you 'should' have waited for the first day of your next erpiod for it to be 100% effective, but ... (read in full...)
My step-sister is blackmailing me for money and sex
Q. I am a 12 year old boy from the uk and my problem is that my 14 year old stepsister caught me smoking cannabis 3 months ago and ever since then she has been blackmailing me by threating to tell my mum at first she was only demanding money but since ...
A. 5 June 2006: I am so sorry that she is doing this to you. It's a violation and you must stop having sex with her. Find some inner strength to stand up to her. She is a bully. Blackmail and under age sex are illegal crimes (even if she is a minor herself). Turn ... (read in full...)
He won't act like a boyfriend!
Q. Hi I'm only 12 and my boyfriend won't really act like a boyfriend and we've been dating for over a year. What do I do?...
A. 4 June 2006: This scared me. When i was 11 I was happily playing games, seeing my friends,and wasn't at all interested in having a boyfriend. I'm not sure what you mean when you say "he doesn't act like a boyfriend", how does a 12 year old boyfriend act? I'll ... (read in full...)
How do I make the butterflies go away??
Q. Hi I was wondering if you could help me, I really like this guy and he knows that I like him, he says he has no time for a girlfriend, and thats okay, my problem is that I have regular contact with him and I want to know how to get over him as when ...
A. 3 June 2006: Unfortunately you can't 'make' the butterflies go. Not unless he does something ridiculous, silly and makes an ass of himself! If you try to see him as a regular guy, the feeling may dwindle. It may help if you put all energy and focus into trying ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid looking like a fool??
Q. I'll be going to a party soon with famous people and local celebtities. I'm not a celeb myself. How do you behave, or what can I do or say or talk about that will make these people think that I'm not such a bad 23 yrs of age,young, smart successful ...
A. 3 June 2006: Celebrities are just people. Just be yourself. They're human just like you. If they're acting like they're something special, they're not so don't waste your time trying to impress them. Trust me, I work in the entertainment industry, they're ... (read in full...)
He used to be a little wild, dated lots of girls,but hes calmed down now, but I cant get his past out of my head, how do I handle this relationship ?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend going on 4 mos. and I have recently been having some issues about how I am so less experienced than he is. I have been a religious girl all my life, but have recently dissented from my religion. He is a virgin, ...
A. 2 June 2006: I think I do understand. It sounds like a case of..."I wish I'd met him after I have had some fun myself". Such is life eh? Well, you could surprise yourself, this guy may tick all the boxes. Some people only sleep with the one person the whole of ... (read in full...)
All I did was answer her question honestly, now shes hardly talking to me! what have I done wrong?
Q. Hi, this is my first time doing this, im also using my wifes account!! im really confused, the other day my wife asked me if i fancied any one and i didnt think i did, but after thinking about it all night i realised i do fancy atleast 10 people, i ...
A. 2 June 2006: You KNOW what you've done wrong. You failed her test but shame on her for posing it. Why do women ask questions that they don't really want to know the answer to? Whilst thinking you are a little mad to have told her, I am not sure who's dafter, her ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was late home knowing I am jealous!
Q. I have been seeing a counsellor for my anger and jealousy problems. I used to get mad at my boyfriend a lot, but because of my counselling, I haven't really got mad at him in the last couple months. I've been real proud of myself. On Tuesday my ...
A. 2 June 2006: It's not about whether 'we' are ok with our partners saying one thing and doing another. It's about levels of normal responses. About realistic boundaries in behaviour. About give & take. You say you think about his considerations all the time, but ... (read in full...)
He was totally fab, but I think ive pushed him away by overstepping the mark, I know I'm an idiot, but what can I do about it ?
Q. What i want to know is do you think i have truely messed up everything that was great? I have been dating his wonderful person for 3 months and have just done the most stupid thing i can think of - i decided to tell him how he's feeling and not in ...
A. 2 June 2006: Write him a letter. Keep it light hearted and tell him you have no idea why you said it and you regret it but were having a wobbly moment. Just tell him you love spending time with him and you hope you haven't freaked him out. Tell him it'd be nice ... (read in full...)
Ever since his relative passed away, he has disappeared, I miss him, what should I do!?
Q. i need advise quick, i am really scared that i am losing my boyfriend ( well i dont even know whether we are together anymore) he lost a very close relative just over a month ago and just after the funeral he told me he needed space, i haven't heard ...
A. 2 June 2006: Bereavement effects people differently. If he needs space give it to him. At the moment he's lost in his grief. He'll come back when he's ready. For now, you have to just accept it and be there for when he needs you. Please don't text him if you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was late home knowing I am jealous!
Q. I have been seeing a counsellor for my anger and jealousy problems. I used to get mad at my boyfriend a lot, but because of my counselling, I haven't really got mad at him in the last couple months. I've been real proud of myself. On Tuesday my ...
A. 2 June 2006: You are very defensive. I am not saying he's right and I certainly don't let people walk all over me, but I do understand that people are different. Men don't always think the same as woman. Frustrating as that is, I don't know many men who would've ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was late home knowing I am jealous!
Q. I have been seeing a counsellor for my anger and jealousy problems. I used to get mad at my boyfriend a lot, but because of my counselling, I haven't really got mad at him in the last couple months. I've been real proud of myself. On Tuesday my ...
A. 2 June 2006: I am so sorry to disagree with DrPete but..... whether he knew or not, give the guy a break! I speak from a very similar experience and thankfully, I overcame the negative feelings and now I am so happy and relaxed. For your sake and his, work hard ... (read in full...)
Can people really change ? Is it worth the risk giving him a second chance ?
Q. Do you believe in second chances...? I was with my boyfriend who I loved very much for about a year and half...I found out by chance that he'd slept with someone behind my back. Whilst finding this out it also came to light that he'd been contac...
A. 2 June 2006: It's so easy to say 'once a cheater, always a cheater' and a 'leopard can't change its spots' but it really is something you have to decide; follow your gut feeling. I would guess you may be here asking because you want someone to confirm that it's ... (read in full...)
One minute shes cool to date me, then shes a but busy, but now it seems she just wants to be friends!?
Q. She simply doesn’t seem interested but I would like your input. LAST WEEK - I asked a woman out for dinner. She accepted but with her friends planning a surprise for her birthday that weekend, she called off our date for Saturday. Fri...
A. 2 June 2006: I think you're being a bit hasty! Give it a chance. I don't think you have reason to think she's not interested by the 'evidence'. You say 'she doesn't seem interested' yet you talk of her flirting and SHE invited YOU out before the concert. It was ... (read in full...)
He used to be a little wild, dated lots of girls,but hes calmed down now, but I cant get his past out of my head, how do I handle this relationship ?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend going on 4 mos. and I have recently been having some issues about how I am so less experienced than he is. I have been a religious girl all my life, but have recently dissented from my religion. He is a virgin, ...
A. 2 June 2006: If you do not forget about his past, you have no future with him. It's that simple. The hard part is how to push it out of your mind. I'm not sure why he told you all that information as I don't see it's any of your business. He is still a virgin so ... (read in full...)
| *amille's friends
These are mutual friends, so *amille has
added them and they have added *amille!
|
