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... Send *amille a private message | | | *amille's profile:I'm 36, live in the U.K and have experienced severe highs and lows. I went to see many counsellors and it took many years to find one that worked for me and helped me move on. I then began studying person-centred counselling for 2 years but had to put my Diploma studies on hold due to other committments (work etc). I miss the whole process. The truth is, many people think counselling is giving answers but that's not what it is. I do have an opinion and so here I can give it whereas in Counselling you shouldn't. I always liked the idea of helping people work through their problems / issues & to encourage them to question themselves. I prefer agony aunt answering as you can challenge people's processes outright and give help, advice and opinions. People can choose to listen or ignore it, but at least they have an outlet and i think that's a good thing. I feel I have been through allsorts of situations that may help other people through their troubled times.
I hope to give good advice without judging anyone.
I am happy in my relationship but that's due to making many mistakes in the past and finally learning from them! |
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Does my boyfriends best friend have a crush on me ??
Q. Warning: long, drawn out question(s)! I'm in kind of a funny situation right now... My boyfriend has moved away for a short period. His best friend just moved back to town.. When we all lived in the same state, we'd all hang out together, go shopp...
A. 18 September 2006: If you answer the phone late at night and it's him, just firmly tell him that it's late and not an appropriate time to call and hang up. But hopefully after you've had the 'chat' with him, he won't call anyway. I think that as you're uncomfortable ... (read in full...)
Does every guy really watch porn ?
Q. Is it possible to not watch porn as a guy? My bf told me he's not interested at these things. He admitted he was curious about it when he was 16, but he absolutely shows no interest about it now. I love him very much and I'm lucky that I found so...
A. 15 September 2006: How would your guy friends know what EVERY other guy is doing? Just cos they are doesn't mean everyone else is. Porn isn't perverse, it's preference so it's not for everyone. And just for the record....many girls watch it too, it's not just a guy ... (read in full...)
A question about age-gap relationships, in general. Opinions wanted.
Q. Hi! I don't want to be annoying so I promise this is the last question I'll post about age gaps. I've noticed a common thread among responses on here when the younger person in the relationship is very young (late teens, like me). People say thing...
A. 14 September 2006: From the age of 5 you have probably grown 'with' those friends at the same time going through similar stages of life. That's not the same in relationships with age gaps. It doesn't matter whether the younger person is mature, they still haven't ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriends best friend have a crush on me ??
Q. Warning: long, drawn out question(s)! I'm in kind of a funny situation right now... My boyfriend has moved away for a short period. His best friend just moved back to town.. When we all lived in the same state, we'd all hang out together, go shopp...
A. 14 September 2006: I think you're right. The fact you say there's nothing between the two of you is probably only you thinking that or else he wouldn't be asking you to keep it a secret. You need to talk to him assertively and say that you don't want him to call you ... (read in full...)
Together 6 years, broke up, I miss him, and thought of not being friends is killing me!
Q. Never having felt this low before, and emotionally a state. Ive finished a 6yr relationship with a guy who loves me more than the world, told me and showed me regularly, although it was a very volitile relationship and always has been, i do not like ...
A. 14 September 2006: Of course you're distraught but give it time. 6 years is a long time and it will be hard when that person has gone. I'm not sure that dinners together are a good idea. You have split up beacause it wasn't working and to go to just friends would be a ... (read in full...)
My bf thinks other women are more beautiful than me. Should I hold out for a guy who thinks I am the most beautiful in his eyes?
Q. Should I hold out for a man who feels I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him? My bf and me have been together 6 years. My best friend has also been with her bf 4 years. he is always telling her she is the most beautiful woman in the world ...
A. 14 September 2006: I'm afraid that people are different and despite his honesty, he loves you. I have to say that if he'd lied you'd be none the wiser but as they say, truth hurts. I guess it comes back to the comparing. Your husband isn't your friend's husband and ... (read in full...)
When other people are cool towards me...I think they don't like me! Do I need more confidence?
Q. ive had some issues with confidence relationship wise and friendship wise! i find eveytime any1s cold towards me or a bit off i immeditly think they dont like me anymore! its like im always waiting 4 them to dump me or stop being my friend ...
A. 14 September 2006: What is it about yourself that you think they don't like? You need to work out why you feel that the way people are has anything to do with you. Do you find that you are clingy? Do you have many friends? I think confidence building would definitely ... (read in full...)
All he said when I told him I loved him was "awww Babes" nothing else!!
Q. I told the person I've loved for two years how I felt today. I've known him longer than I've known any other man: we've always been close and flirted. Today, we both stripped and saw each other naked- the height of our flirting. It's apparent...
A. 14 September 2006: Don't worry. Perhaps he thought you said that you loved him as a friend? You are after all friends. That's why he calls you names of affection and is supportive etc. The thing here is the flirting... what the hell is getting naked all about? You're ... (read in full...)
Im 27, shes 19, would it be inappropriate to date her ?
Q. Hi, um, first time here. I'm 27 and I've fallen for my 19 year old friend. She's wonderful and I think the feelings are reciprocated. But I've not made a move because I'm worried she'll think I'm too old. I've known her since she was 16 and I...
A. 14 September 2006: If you think she feels the same where's the harm? Tread carefully in case you're misreading the signals. You've been friends for a few years so you don't want to ruin that. You're both adults so go for it!... (read in full...)
The only other girl I loved, doesnt want me, what can I do ?
Q. i am an 18 yr old lad i only loved 2 people in my life. And I have a real problem, one has sadly passed away, and the other, I have loved for over two years. I am in the army and I think about her through the mud and the cr*p but she doesnt want ...
A. 14 September 2006: I'm sorry for your loss but please don't give up hope. At 18 to say you've "only loved 2 people in my life" as if you're 80. You are still young and have many years in front of you to find love. It can't be easy being in the army and pining for ... (read in full...)
I'm not even 100% sure if he's cheating on me but is lying a big enough reason to break up with him??
Q. My boyfriend is in his first year of college and im a senior in highschool. we both agreed that we were not going to have an open relationship. Well, awhile ago he had given me his password and when i went on his myspace one time without permission, ...
A. 14 September 2006: Is spying on someone and accessing their private mail reason to break up? This is a two way street. Lying may not be a big enough reason to break up with him, but I'd say him sending naked photos is. You've found something that is pretty serious. It ... (read in full...)
7 yrs younger - is he just after sex??
Q. This guy I'm seeing is 7 years younger them me How do i know he really wants to be with me for me and not for sex? help...
A. 13 September 2006: How does he know that you're not?!... (read in full...)
What is this bump in the middle of my breasts ??
Q. hi, im 15 and found a kind of raised lump in between my boobs. its right in the middle of each breast. what is this, it doesnt hurt when i push it, it just feels like a normal bump. could it be breast cancer or what do u think it is? ...
A. 13 September 2006: Even if you've a tiny frame and are extremely slim, I'd hate to say it may be bony matter and it's probably nothing. I can only say that I didn't have one, and no-one I know did either. I did have a friend though who was 30. She ignored a lump that ... (read in full...)
My bf joined the army, I Cheated, but how do I get my friend back ???
Q. ive been with my bf for 2 1/2 years and i do love him dearly. the problem is he decided to join the army last year. im only 18 and found this hard to deal with. i resented him for joining the army but at the same time i still loved him. we split up ...
A. 13 September 2006: So this isn't about your boyfriend you've cheated on, but your friend? I admire your friend, I'd find it hard too. You didn't just do it once and so I'm not sure you can or should carry on as if it didn't happen regardless of whether you've come to ... (read in full...)
Could this part of Oral Sex cause me any harm ?
Q. When I give my gf oral and she is sitting on my face she cums what seems like pints which I happily drink. Is this urine or femail Cum? And can it cause me any harm?...
A. 13 September 2006: Urine? Are you joking? I think (hope) you'd know if your girlfriend was peeing on you. That's a whole different question...... This doesn't harm you at all. It is indeed her vaginal juices.... (read in full...)
Im 20 shes 14, is it legal to touch her up and kiss her ?
Q. hiya i am 20 year old n me girl is 14 i was just wondering if legal to kiss me girl n touch her up im from the uk n need help to answer these questions i know im not allowed sexual intercourse but wondering if allowed any physical touching or ...
A. 13 September 2006: You're an adult, she's a child. Reagrdless of your feelings, some would say it's child abuse. A 6 year age gap when you're both adults is fine. I'm more concerned as to why you are physically interested in an under age/ minor in the first place.... (read in full...)
My husbands family doesnt like me, what do I do ?
Q. help, new husbands grown children and family do not like me. kids are 30, 28.29. and 35 years old husband was single for over 10 years. i'm 50 and he is 62 we are happy. one of his sons is going to be a new dad and we went to the baby shower and ...
A. 13 September 2006: My dad's brothers and sister all keep in contact with my mum and they divorced about 23 years ago. They visit each other, go out for dinner and confide in her. My dad accepts this but obviously it's weird because they are his family. He doesn't know ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me into getting his name tattooed on me!
Q. my boyfriend of 4 years is pressurising me a lot to get his name tattooed on my breasts or butts. he insists that this is a definite way of expressing my love for him. i am not sure of social and/or clinical affects of this. i love him deeply ...
A. 13 September 2006: Tell him absolutely not. You insist that a definite way of expressing love is NOT by pressurising someone to getting a tattoo. No way should you resort to permanently marking your body. There are risks involved let alone you don't want to! He ... (read in full...)
Im 24 hes 19, I feel a bit wierd about the age!
Q. I'm 24 years old and seeing a 19 year old I feel really weird but he acts very mature and i do like him am i wrong?...
A. 13 September 2006: Someone mentioned Justin & Cameron and their age gap is the same as me and my fella, 9 years, I'm older and we've been together for almost 5 years. It's great but I have to say that it's other people's comments that are their problem, not ours. I'm ... (read in full...)
My male friend is gay, we had sex, now im pregnant!
Q. I have been in love with a male friend for a long time, but he's gay. I intentionally got him drunk and seduced him. Even though we had really great sex, he said that he still prefers men. I just found out I'm pregnant with his child. Part of me ...
A. 12 September 2006: What you did was grossly unfair. You must tell him that you are pregnant but don't disillusion yourself into thinking he'll marry you. I know it takes two, but you knew he was gay and you intentionally went out to get him. The repercussion of your ... (read in full...)
She has feelings for this other guy, but is somewhat distant now, is she cheating ?
Q. Ok here's the deal. This girl ive liked for awhile was dating a guy for almost 3 years. I came home and we started talking as friends. But then she started talking about how unhappy she was and she didnt have feelings for him. Well weve been dating ...
A. 12 September 2006: I don't think she's cheating but you need to break it off with this girl. Whether he's got another girl or not, she's just not ready to move on. She is probably hurting because he's with someone else and that's made her think about her being with ... (read in full...)
Im 24 hes 19, I feel a bit wierd about the age!
Q. I'm 24 years old and seeing a 19 year old I feel really weird but he acts very mature and i do like him am i wrong?...
A. 11 September 2006: Is it you who feels weird or are you getting comments from other people? If so, ignore them, it's your life and if you're happy, that's all that matters. He's not a child and neither are you so it's perfectly fine to fall for someone younger.... (read in full...)
Ive been with my guy for a year now, but its really odd that I dont know what he does for work!!?
Q. Iv been dating my bf for nearly a year... i feel as though i know him quite well except for ONE thing... i dont know where he works or what his occupation is. Is this strange? im 21 and at university and hes 26. Each time i mention it, he evades i...
A. 11 September 2006: I think when you are in a relationship, esecially of one a year long, you should share details of your life. You don't lose your identity or sign over your life by telling someone where you work. I believe you do have a right to know what he does ... (read in full...)
She told me it wasnt working so we continued to meet as friends, I am falling for her but scared to tell her!
Q. I have been meeting with my mates sister regulary for couple of months now, my mate is fine with it the probelm is my feelings. The first night we met i kissed her, and she was happy with it and so we continued to meet. Then after just a week she ...
A. 11 September 2006: Oh that's lovely! I'm so pleased you had the courage to say something! Yay!... (read in full...)
She asked me who is the prettiest of her friends and I told her. Now I am regretting it!
Q. i was in bed with my girlfriend about 2 months ago, she was asking me lots of questions about her female friends, who is prettiest e.t.c bar a couple of questions i could only answer with 1 girl's name as she wouldnt let me just pick her the whole ...
A. 7 September 2006: Remember that you can say "no". No-one can force you to do or say anything that you don't want to, so maybe you shouldn't have agreed to answer such stupid questions. She's insecure yes, but perhaps she was still testing to see if you would insist ... (read in full...)
Going for a holiday in the South of France with a girl I've only been on one date with... !?
Q. Dear Cupid A couple of years back I went out on a date with a girl I met via a speed-dating event. We speed-dated then went on one date subsequently. I took her ice skating outdoors, it was Xmas, we had fun then went for a bite to eat. Both of us ...
A. 5 September 2006: So, get to know her in the South of France! It's a good a place as any. As you said, "why not"? One thing though, you made reference to thinking you are wealthier than her and she may wants a man with money, perhaps rid that thought from your mind ... (read in full...)
Due to get married soon, future hubby thinks we should try for a baby that day!
Q. Hello everyone...Please tell me if this sounds crazy!! My fiance and I have been dating for about 4 years and we are getting married soon. Anyway, we both know we want kids in our future and we want them while we are both still young (under 30). The ...
A. 5 September 2006: Hmmm, "supposed to do"? Who said so? If you did a random survey of parents and asked how long after the wedding night the baby appeared, there probably won't be many who say 9 months. Apart from anything, does your fiance think that every attempt is ... (read in full...)
We hooked up when were both dumped, but didnt want a rebound thing, I have fallen for her, but shes dating someone else!
Q. After my ex dumped me, I was a wreck for several months. I met a new friend who had also recently been dumped. We helped each other out in our misery. A few times we messed around. Neither of us wanted to be the other person's rebound. So we ...
A. 5 September 2006: If you tell her how you feel, be prepared that she may not feel the same and that the situation hasn't changed. Maybe the fact you are now over your ex has made you see her in a different way too and maybe, just maybe that's a rebound thing with ... (read in full...)
I love him, but hes 23 years older, a friend of my parents and I dont know if he likes me that way!!
Q. Well heres my problem, I'm in love with a man, he's 23 years older (Not married thank god), we hang out online and have only met face to face once. He and my parents are good friends, and I plan to move to his state when I'm old enough. I know I'm ...
A. 5 September 2006: Leave it be. I'm reading between the lines here, but guessing that you're really young. This is probably a crush although it may feel like you're in love. 23 years older is too old when you are still young and it would make things very tricky with ... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant if I forget my birth control pills?
Q. i just started taking birth control pills sometimes i forget to take them at the same time everyday but one day i forgot to take it and i had unprotected its been five days since then and i havent takin my pills, can i be pregnant? if so how so how ...
A. 4 September 2006: Simply...........yes you can.... (read in full...)
I had sex, but condom came loose, could I become pregnant?
Q. I had sex with a guy a week ago. He had condom on, but then it got loose. When he came out of me, his cock was soft. I am really worried that I am pregnant. I don't even know whether he cum or he just turned soft in the middle. My question is ...
A. 4 September 2006: What's the point in trying to work out if he came or not. He could have cum and gone soft, but if you can't ask him or don't know, just get a test rather than second guess. It's not worth the worry. ... (read in full...)
Mty boyfriend is aggresive and im worried about breaking up...
Q. I find my boyfriend very aggresive and I'm worried about breaking it to him that we're over. He would never hurt me but he shouts a lot and punches walls and stuff. I'm not used to this (my parents are very passive in arguments) and I sometimes ...
A. 4 September 2006: I have a feeling that you want to split up with him because of another reason other than his temper? I think that you should perhaps find a public place to break up with him and keep it calm. Although he may not take the news well, he may not react ... (read in full...)
My overheated sex drive has driven me to whack off while watching porn
Q. I am in a few year relationship and have discovered that I have a much higher sex drive than my partner (we're a gay couple). I get so horny and just want to have sex but he isn't interested as often as I am and fobs me off with either no reason or ...
A. 4 September 2006: As your sex drive is much higher than your partner, it's difficult because you aren't suited in one area that's so important to you. All relationships should be about compromise and if he can't agree to more sex, (and you don't demand too much from ... (read in full...)
She told me it wasnt working so we continued to meet as friends, I am falling for her but scared to tell her!
Q. I have been meeting with my mates sister regulary for couple of months now, my mate is fine with it the probelm is my feelings. The first night we met i kissed her, and she was happy with it and so we continued to meet. Then after just a week she ...
A. 4 September 2006: You can't carry on as it is. You have feelings for her, that much you know. Whether she feels the same or not, she told you she likes someone else and it wasn't working, so you can only really go off that. It sounds like she's enjoying the ... (read in full...)
I think if I don't leave her, I will mess up her life. Should I leave and how do I do it?
Q. should i leave my girlfriend? I still love her but i cant let her go through with this. I'm 17 and i stayed at hers one night and she heard us fooling around and now shes being a bit harsh about it, shes slapped my gf, changing her college to avoid ...
A. 30 August 2006: Sorry, you missed a bit out I think? Do you mean her Mum heard you? If you love each other you should stand by her and support her. But you should definitely encourage your girlfriend to see a counsellor, it will help her with home issues and ... (read in full...)
he wants to make it work with me but keeps calling this other woman! What should I do?
Q. After seven years together, we decided to take time apart this summer- and to NOT see other people but think about US. I found out he was having sex with a 44 year old woman with two kids in July. I was sad for a few weeks, but then I started to ...
A. 30 August 2006: Show him the door. You obviously don't trust him as you've resorted to snooping and that's not a good place to be. He's given you good reason to mistrust though so just you keep on listening to that gut feeling. Whether he's cheating or not, the ... (read in full...)
The girl I love cheats all the while and is destroying me, my wife is great but I dont love her...
Q. My life has been turned upside down. I was in an unhappy marriage and eventually seperated and went to stay at my mums. My wife was supportive and was always willing to take me back and make it work between us. She loved me unconditionally. My ...
A. 30 August 2006: You may not want to read this as it's not in your favour. Where do I start with this? Well firstly, thank God your wife won't take you back. I hope she doesn't. If she does then if the girl causes trouble, you'll have brought it on yourself but also ... (read in full...)
This new lad is a flirt..so if I dump my bf to date him..will he still flirt with others?
Q. hi my problem is that a lad i used to be interested in and vice versa has started chatting to me about how his girlfriend has been really pissing him off recently and that he is going to dump her and i have told him that im having problems with my ...
A. 29 August 2006: That's the risk you take. Why not finish your current relationship, see if he does the same. Don't get straight into a relationship with him, but go out a few times. See if he's still flirting then and make a decision. I wouldn't stay where you are ... (read in full...)
Scared the lack of sex will drive me to someone else... please help!
Q. Gosh where to start,.. Im totally in love with my man but im very scared that the lack of sex situation will force me to cheat. Now i hear you all saying if you loved him you wouldnt cheat.. but its not that simple!! Unless you are in it you really ...
A. 29 August 2006: Right, there are a couple of things here that are off...... You say that he claims to have a higher sex drive. Er, how does he work that one out?! The other thing is you have sex when he wants it. Relationships are about compromise and just because ... (read in full...)
Without sounding silly.... how would I know if the guy from church does really like me ?
Q. hi. im 16 this yr. is it a right time to start dating? i dunno. cos i like this guy from my church, B. he's um, 18 this yr, and really sweet. however i jus go over a guy liked from school so i dunno whether this crush is jus..well, somet...
A. 29 August 2006: You're not a bimbo, but it sounds like you're wanting a relationship as you're about to turn 16 and have just gotten over the boy from school. Don't go looking for it, let it happen. Don't rush, see how things go. Get to know him better and see if ... (read in full...)
Why are so many people getting divorced ?
Q. I noticed in a survey that 2 in 3 marriages end in divorce in UK (so will probably be higher in america). Why are so many people in UK getting divorced? Or is it more frequent in certain areas or social classes...
A. 29 August 2006: Becasue they're getting married too soon?... (read in full...)
I really like my friends sister but would it be wrong to ask her out ?
Q. Ive known one of my mates for about 8 years now and ive really liked his sister for quite a while. Im 20 and shes 16. I get on well with her and she always seems flirty every time i see her. My mate knows i think shes fit but should i do anything ...
A. 29 August 2006: I think as she's only 16 your friend may not approve. My brother's 7 years older than me and he was so protective that he didn't want anyone taking me out, let alone a friend. You've known her since she was 8 and he may have a problem with this. If ... (read in full...)
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