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I want my own life, but I do want my baby to know it's father!

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Im having a baby very soon. The baby's dad left me as soon I fell pregnant and is now happily attached to a new woman. When he left he told me i should find someone new to bring up the baby and that he didnt want any contact with it.

Now he has changed his mind. He wants to see the baby when it is born, but only at my house, he wont take it home because obviously it will upset the apple cart. He also wants to be at the birth. The problem is I found someone I liked but when he found out the baby's dad would be calling round and be present at the birth he said he couldnt cope with it and left me. I do want the baby's dad in the baby's life as I feel its important as my dad wasnt allowed to see me when i was small and that made me sad, but I also need a life for myself.

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A female reader, sibaan +, writes (9 June 2006):

sibaan agony auntte guym you were with is in the wrong here he should understand that the baby needs it s father. maybe your ex will fall in love with the baby and then fall back in love with you...anything is possible when a child is born...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006):

you should let your child know its biological father just because you wasnt allowed to see his father you should allow your child see how it is when you have it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006):

You are facing very important, life issues and you are doing the right thing, for your baby. Every child deserves to have their father actively involved in it's life. I am happy your ex bf has stepped up the plate and changed his mind about being involved. This child will need that bond to grow up healthy and loved. Although your ex's role is to bond and enjoy the baby for himself, primarily he should be helping to financially support and help you through the challenges of parenting an infant. I hope he is offering some form of monetary support...children are expensive to raise and he's obligated, by law to give you child support payments. However, as for dating other men...some guys aren't ready to step into a relationship with a woman who has a child and a very involved ex bf. You will have to be careful from now on. When choosing a loved one to date in the future, you will want to choose carefully. I would recommend any man you date, you do not bring them around your child, for the first few months until you get to know his character and his committment to you. You will have a huge responsibility and that is always ensuring the safety and protection of your child. I wish you the best dear and let me know, when this baby is born and if it's a boy or girl! Good luck and take care!

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2006):

camille agony auntWhat about YOU? It seems the men in your life are quite happy to tell you what they want without you having any say. If your ex is going to be a father then his new partner has to accept that too. It's great you want the baby to know its dad, but he has a bigger responsibility than what he suggests. He can't just be a dad when it suits him. I can see why the guy you liked left, it wasn't an ideal situation to walk into. But maybe he'd have stayed if you'd set out the terms to your ex? His new relationship isn't suffering so why should yours? Re-assess the situation and don't be afraid to say that it's not acceptable. Compromise. It's tough if his new woman doesn't like it, he's going to be a dad, simple as that. YOU set some boundaries for you. Tell him he will have to have the baby at his house too, you need time for yourself. Don't give in to everyone's demands, the baby will have plenty of those!

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A female reader, ask paige United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2006):

ask paige agony auntwell to be honest i dont think your babys father is a very good one for starters he left you to be with another woman and left you pregnant and said he didnt want to see the baby and now he does this sounds very confusing for you but i think that you should let the babys farther see the baby but while doing that you should try and find a life on your own without having to worry about your baby all the time good luck and i hope you find someone knew in your life

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