She is very down and I worry about her, should I tell her?
Q. Hi. I have a female friend who has recently separated from her husband. I have made it clear that I am here for her if she needs me to be but have tried not to smother her. She has other close friends. The problem is that she will send me a message ...
A. 7 October 2012: I think one thing that is difficult to grasp from your post is whether you are romantically interested in this woman. If you are, I would suggest keeping your distance. She has a lot of mental/emotional work to do within herself before she will be ... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 1 October 2012: I think you are a bit confused yourself. You posted a question about your boyfriend's disturbing photos, now you have convinced yourself that those photos are "ok" because he "didn't see them as wrong".
Didn't see them as wrong? And now you ... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 1 October 2012: Why are you making excuses for him? There is no way to help you or your children if you are going to make excuses. Why would it matter if he was a teenager when he put them on there. That would make it even more disturbing to me...that he has ... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 30 September 2012: Actually, since it is your home, I would move him back out with the help of your ex and/or dad, brothers, and/or any male friends you have. You need a support network. You can also turn him and his computer into law enforcement officials.... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 30 September 2012: You need to leave this home immediately for the safety of your children. Stay with a friend or family member until you can gather your things and leave permanently. Your children are at risk, and there is no way I would trust someone with that ... (read in full...)
She is very down and I worry about her, should I tell her?
Q. Hi. I have a female friend who has recently separated from her husband. I have made it clear that I am here for her if she needs me to be but have tried not to smother her. She has other close friends. The problem is that she will send me a message ...
A. 30 September 2012: I would tell her. In fact, I would tell her how you feel if you really care about her. I would tell her that you know she is going through a hard time, but you are upset by the fact that she makes plans with you and they always fall through. ... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: If you are going to be receiving money when you turn 18, that money is for you to go to college or otherwise use to help you begin your life. In our family we would use it for a vehicle, to rent an apartment, put a downpayment on a house, and buy ... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: If you are going to be receiving money when you turn 18, that money is for you to go to college or otherwise use to help you begin your life. In our family we would use it for a vehicle, to rent an apartment, put a downpayment on a house, and buy ... (read in full...)
Living together and dating.. how to secure it..
Q. hello, here is my situation.. I need some input.. In Feb 2012 a friend moved in that needed help. we had previously * 10 years ago*had an affair for 2 years, and were ready to move forward togther, and both decided to try to work out our marraige...
A. 30 September 2012: I agree that you need to tell him that it isn't working for you. You simply cannot do this anymore and remain a healthy happy person. I wish it was not the case, but situations like these are very confusing for the one taking the "relationship" ... (read in full...)
Why can't I ever get a guy who cares about me?
Q. Ok so here I'm going to give a little back ground before I ask the question hopefully so you all somewhaht get a better idea of what is going on. In July, me and my ex broke up because I found out he was cheating. Well, I gave him another chance a...
A. 30 September 2012: For one thing, you are only 17, so work on making some strong friendships before you become a piece of ass. You should be out having fun with your friends and enjoying life instead of dwelling over some abusive jerk. You may have many boyfriends ... (read in full...)
I have an athletic body, but no boobs. Are my friends right about the comments, I'm now self conscious guys will be put off!!?
Q. I feel really self conscious about my body after the comments from people I live with at uni, now I think they're right that a guy wont like my body or maybe I should get surgery, or gain weight, anything to change myself. I'm not that tall, only ...
A. 29 September 2012: Why are you hanging out with people who treat you this way? Are they obsessed with peoples' bodies or what?
Honestly, the girls really probably ARE jealous. They're jealous because you work out, you're toned, and you're healthy. Take a minute t... (read in full...)
Do I keep it to myself or tell my sister? My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair
Q. Yesterday was the worst day of my life. My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair,he trusted me enough to tell me, but I feel like I'm betraying my sister. Please help me what should I do????? My sister also has a life treat...
A. 29 September 2012: SVC has a great suggestion...and if your parents are able...I would do just as she says. That way you are not alone in a terrible situation. Hopefully doing it this way, it will not be as messy.
Be prepared to be calm, understanding, and pati... (read in full...)
Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?
Q. I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...
A. 29 September 2012: I would tell her that exact same thing you said here. Make sure you also tell her that you debated in your mind whether to tell her because you didn't want to lose her, but you did not want to hide anything from her.... (read in full...)
How do I get this balance right between wanting to be myself and neither be a doormat or too much like his ex? I want to be appropriately assertive.
Q. Hello Everyone, I've asked for help before about a relatively new relationship and it was so helpful - but I have another question please... my confidence is still a bit low in regard to relationships because I had a very difficult one for a ver...
A. 29 September 2012: I think you just have to treat him with respect when you have a problem instead of bringing about a bunch of drama/being needy and/or too forgiving.
If you have a problem, you say "Honey, I don't want to interfere with your free time, but I would ... (read in full...)
Living together and dating.. how to secure it..
Q. hello, here is my situation.. I need some input.. In Feb 2012 a friend moved in that needed help. we had previously * 10 years ago*had an affair for 2 years, and were ready to move forward togther, and both decided to try to work out our marraige...
A. 29 September 2012: Also, I can understand you are new on the dating scene, but you cannot date someone that #1 You are already living with and #2 Who does not want to date. You see the problem here? You are already more or less acting like a married couple on the ... (read in full...)
Living together and dating.. how to secure it..
Q. hello, here is my situation.. I need some input.. In Feb 2012 a friend moved in that needed help. we had previously * 10 years ago*had an affair for 2 years, and were ready to move forward togther, and both decided to try to work out our marraige...
A. 29 September 2012: I would add to what Oldbag says by saying that you won't get a man to chase you when you have already set up house together, see each other every day, and know one another very well. He doesn't pursue you because there is nothing to pursue...he ... (read in full...)
Living together and dating.. how to secure it..
Q. hello, here is my situation.. I need some input.. In Feb 2012 a friend moved in that needed help. we had previously * 10 years ago*had an affair for 2 years, and were ready to move forward togther, and both decided to try to work out our marraige...
A. 29 September 2012: Let me get this straight. You are living with a man who is sleeping with both you and another woman and you want to know how to "get the upper hand"? Do you know how crazy that sounds?
All due respect, if the guy even remotely cared about yo... (read in full...)
Does he still like me??? Help!
Q. I still like this guy that i used to date, even though i have a boyfriend. Things havent been going that well with me and my boyfriend lately. When the guy i used to date found out that i had another boyfriend, he called me and asked if i was in ...
A. 28 September 2012: Here is what your story boils down to. If you don't like the guy you are currently dating, then you need to break up with him. If you want to date your old boyfriend, then ask him out. However, don't assume he'll say yes just because he was being ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time letting go... help!
Q. This guy and I went on and off for 8 months. We moved extremly fast, moved in 2 weeks of our relationship., the first time we split he said he wasn't ready to be in a commited relationship, and the pain felt unbearable. 2 weeks after I was just at ...
A. 27 September 2012: It is hard and I understand exactly what you are going through. I think some time for grieving is necessary...you have lost someone you really care about, and then you were stunned in the process that he could actually cheat on you like that. Take ... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a fool or am I being needy and pathetic?
Q. Hi I'm very confused by my boyfriends behavior recently. We've only been officially together for just over a month but I met him 3 months ago which I know is still no time at all but I've fallen hard and I thought it was mutual. Firstly I have...
A. 27 September 2012: You are not being needy. It is absolutely normal to want to see the person you care about. Apparently, the feeling is not mutual or he would make time for you.
If I was going through this, I think I would tell him that it seems as if he is no lo... (read in full...)
She gave me her number but then didn't reply to my text. Why?
Q. I have been talking to this girl at work. I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I sent her a text message today and never got a reply. What does that mean? How do i react to her at work, since she didn't reply my text message?...
A. 27 September 2012: I would say something to her at work and if she seems stand-offish, then I would let it go. Something like "Hey...how are you today? I sent you a text...did you get it?" See how she responds. If it seems like she'd rather not talk, then drop it. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel jealous that he flirts with other girls?
Q. I'm now talking to this guy who is a couple months younger than me. We aren't dating but I get really jealous when he flirts with other girls and he says it's just his personality. It really ticks me off knowing that he knows I like him and I get ...
A. 27 September 2012: I agree with Karlos. He is young and he probably doesn't even realize what he is doing. He's probably just enjoying the moment.
If it upsets you, I would tell him in a nice way. That way he knows your feelings. Sometimes guys can be totally ... (read in full...)
We have to "like" everything posted in the company Facebook group or get our paycheck deducted. But I was deleted from the group!
Q. I posted here last week. I'm quitting a part time job that requires a one month notice and I have about 2.5 weeks left at this job. We recently signed a notice that says we have to "like" all notices posted on the employee Facebook group or we will ...
A. 27 September 2012: Well, I would say any "company" forcing you to "like" what they "like" is unprofessional in itself and pretty ridiculous. I see you do live in the US, but how times are changing.
Personally, I would see it as a God-send that you aren't listed. ... (read in full...)
I found out recently that my ex cheated on me far more than I realized. Should I talk to him?
Q. So I was with this guy for 5 years; we didn't work out for certain reasons. And I've moved on, I'm dating someone else who I deeply care about. Recently i hung out with me and my ex's mutual friend and he confided in me that the entire time me and ...
A. 27 September 2012: You knew your ex was a cheater, you should leave it in the past. I can understand your angry, but talking to him is just going to stir up drama and more emotional turmoil for yourself.
As for the mutual friend, I question why at this point in... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a man who could be her dad
Q. My 34 year old daughter is getting a divorce from her husband that is 34 also. She is now dating a man that is 57 years old. Does anyone have any advice? He is almost as old as her dad...
A. 27 September 2012: I find that time takes care of these situations if they are not meant to be. However, I would not assume he is bad for your daughter based solely on his age. I know how you must feel as her mother, but she is an adult and can make her own ... (read in full...)
We were getting close after she broke up with her boyfriend but now she's said she isnt sure if she can love anyone else. What is going on?
Q. So here am I in a new dilemma... The situation is like this, she isn't with her bf anymore because he betrayed her.. She had a 5yr relationship with him.. But now she ended up with him! Its been 5months we have been with each other.. (not in ...
A. 26 September 2012: Your girl just got out of a 5 year relationship. Did you just expect her to get over it right away? Relationships like that sometimes take months or a year or more to get over. Be patient with her and don't pressure her. She is being honest with ... (read in full...)
I need to get a grip -- flame out with one guy is getting in the way of another
Q. I was seeing a guy for a couple of months. At first he was keener than me, seemed a "decent" guy so I decided to give him a chance. Mistake. We dated once a weekish and things began to feel strained. I noticed I was texting him first. I began to ...
A. 26 September 2012: I didn't understand that you had lost two family members...I thought Guy 2 had lost someone. I can understand why you are not dealing with things well if you lost two of your family. Plus, losing the guy you liked. Just give yourself time. I ... (read in full...)
Where can I find the strength and security to let go of someone I still love.
Q. I am in a struggle and I desperately need advice. I have sought out seeing a counselor but at this time cannot afford the cost. I have been in a relationship with a man I care deeply about for 5 yrs. the relationship progressed slower due to a lon...
A. 25 September 2012: You just have to do it. Even if you're telling yourself not to, just do it. What is the worst thing that will happen if you tell him and leave? He will obviously be hurt, but if you marry him, life will be worse. YOU will be the one who is hurt ... (read in full...)
I need to get a grip -- flame out with one guy is getting in the way of another
Q. I was seeing a guy for a couple of months. At first he was keener than me, seemed a "decent" guy so I decided to give him a chance. Mistake. We dated once a weekish and things began to feel strained. I noticed I was texting him first. I began to ...
A. 25 September 2012: Not to mention that Guy 2 just lost a family member and probably really needed a friend, but you won't even get coffee with him. Sorry, but that is sad.... (read in full...)
I need to get a grip -- flame out with one guy is getting in the way of another
Q. I was seeing a guy for a couple of months. At first he was keener than me, seemed a "decent" guy so I decided to give him a chance. Mistake. We dated once a weekish and things began to feel strained. I noticed I was texting him first. I began to ...
A. 25 September 2012: Why are you devastated after only knowing a guy for two months? What is there to be devastated about? It didn't work,so move on. It is sad that you have invested so much of yourself in a guy you only knew for such a short time period.
As fo... (read in full...)
Do guys have to feel emotional about every girl they hook up with or is it normal to not feel anything once in a while
Q. So I met a girl at a party the other day and hung out 2 days later. I think she is cute but I do not feel any emotions at all for her. We made out for maybe over an hour, but I do not feel attached to her. I did not even get an erection. I am c...
A. 25 September 2012: There's a difference between being attracted to someone and just finding someone "cute" or "good-looking". I find lots of men good-looking, but feeling a connection or actually being attracted to them is different.
Also, you just met the girl, hu... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in the middle of two amazing guys!
Q. Please help! I can't decide between these two guys and I feel just horrible. The first guy "Dan" is a laid back, more life adventurous, and spontaneous guy. We went out for almost a year and things got rocky because of our age difference and travel ...
A. 25 September 2012: Cerberus hits the nail on the head again.
Both relationships had issues, so you broke up.
If you really felt *connected* to one of the men, you would convey that in your post. Instead, you label them: one is adventurous, one is goofy, one's ... (read in full...)
I feel rejected when wife turns me down for sex because I know she didn't say no to the other man
Q. Hi, I'll start this off by saying this is most likely not normal. My wife and I seperated for a couple months a few years ago. During that time she got with another man. As we were both certain we wouldn't reconcile at this time, I can't ho...
A. 24 September 2012: I think you have this all wrong. If anything, she is turning you down because she had such terrible experiences with the other guy and is having difficulty getting passed those experiences. It's more likely that she feels safe and more free to be ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a friend to sleep with your FWB?
Q. My very close friend slept with a fwb of mine and has not come out and told me herself. I am so hurt by this, but other people who I have spoken to don’t understand why I should be as bothered as he is only a FWB and therefore he doesn’t mean ...
A. 24 September 2012: This is one of the problems with "friends with benefits" relationships. There are not as clear cut and easy as one would think. They are a real relationship just like any others, just because they are fwbs does not mean they are also promsicuous. ... (read in full...)
Why hasn't real love come my way?
Q. I am looking for a committed relationship but I don't know how.. I am tired of the games,lies, cheating the whole nine yards. i mean I am getting older time is running thin, not that I'm older than dust, but I am 40 now and I think it's time to ...
A. 24 September 2012: I am not sure what your question is, but I too, know how you feel. I currently have someone I am seeing, but I am not sure I will ever get married or live with anyone. I thought my ex was the love of my life. Everything seemed right and we were ... (read in full...)
I've given her an ultimatum, him or me. How can we move forward?
Q. folks in need of some expert help basically giving my gf a ultimatum. Choose him or me. il make this quick basically i made the first mistake by flirting with a girl online, but let me explain, this flirtation ment absolutely NOTHING...
A. 24 September 2012: Your first mistake was telling your girlfriend it was "ok" to keep talking to her "guy friend". You should have been upfront with her at that time. Instead, you lied, became bitter, and tried to make her jealous by flirting with someone else which ... (read in full...)
Could this mean he loves me but is too shy to say so?
Q. Hi, I've currently been with my boyfriend for 9 months I love him dearly but haven't told him nor as he told me,but recently his been calling me "my love" and when play fighting said he would take his love elsewhere. We only see one another week...
A. 23 September 2012: Many men do not say "I love you" but show it in many other ways. What is your gut instinct telling you? We really cannot answer that question for you...only you can know. It definitely sounds like you have a good thing going.... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend asked me to share my naked pic, I refused to share and now he is sad. Should I send him my naked pic?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We both are of same age, 16 years old. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We met 2 months ago on facebook and he proposed me after 1 month. I love him a lot. I strictly follow what our holy book ...
A. 23 September 2012: You should absolutely NOT send him naked pictures of yourself. Like one of the other posts said, you do not really know him. Besides, even if you did, I would tell you the same thing. These pictures have a way of re-surfacing and you do not want ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you have reacted in the same way as my boyfriend to the fact that I am a virgin at 20?
Q. So this guy i'm seeing we were getting really close and things were intense, I wanted to go the whole way but I stopped him and said I can't i'm still a virgin, but told him I want to, just not yet. I'm ready, i'm just not sure yet if I want to...
A. 23 September 2012: The one thing you found out is that your guy is a jerk and probably not someone you want to have sex with after all. He is insulting and at the very least RUDE. I would ditch him and look for someone else.... (read in full...)
Why do people give up their friends when they get married?
Q. Why do a lot of married people give up their friends? I'm in my mid twenties, and I'm married as well. I've lost quite a few friends since they got married, and I don't understand why. I think part of the problem could be that most of my friends ...
A. 23 September 2012: Also, people sometimes will not give you a direct answer when you ask them to do things because they would like to do things, but they simply do not have the time. I have a good girlfriend who is also a co-worker. We are always talking about doing ... (read in full...)
Why do people give up their friends when they get married?
Q. Why do a lot of married people give up their friends? I'm in my mid twenties, and I'm married as well. I've lost quite a few friends since they got married, and I don't understand why. I think part of the problem could be that most of my friends ...
A. 23 September 2012: Do you have a full-time job? Let's face it, in today's day and age there is not much time for friends. By the time I get home from working everyday, there is barely energy left for my boyfriend.
What your friends have done is nothing personal... (read in full...)
Ex of 18 years left me for another man, married him and 3 years later I still can't move on
Q. My partner of 18 years left me for another man. She gave me little explanation and I tried everything possible to resolve the situation but she didn't want to know. After three years she has married this man on the rebound. I desperately tryi...
A. 23 September 2012: There is no way to get over the hurt except to get out, do new things, meet new people, and try to distract yourself from it.
Many of us have been through this and it is not easy, but you have to be proactive in wanting to get through it. You... (read in full...)
How do I get this situation sorted? My home is not big enough for all this. And my sister contributes nothing.
Q. ModNote: two interlinked posts combined Dear cupid,i live in a two bedroom apartment with my three young boys. They used to have their own room. My sister move in with us which i thought was going to be for a short time. She has a two yr old son ...
A. 23 September 2012: I think 30 days is being extremely generous after she has so rudely taken away space from you and your three boys and overstayed her welcome. I would give her two weeks to get out.
This should teach you a very important lesson in life. If you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's behavior has changed, I need some advice.
Q. Hi Everyone, Hope you can help, Ive been seeing my girlfriend for about 18 months - we will live an hour from each other - plus for a long part of this I used to work away so seeing each other was not easy. But at the weekend I would try ...
A. 22 September 2012: You have already received some very good advice here. All I can add is that if a woman is into you, she will want to spend as much time with you as possible.
I do not know all of the variables in your relationship, but if you are communic... (read in full...)
I thought I liked him, but now I'm not so sure.
Q. I'm 14 (Please, no comments saying I'm too young for a boyfriend, they don't help) and I'm going out with this boy who has been my close friend for about 2 years. He's liked me since we were 12 but I wasn't interested in him. Time went on then I ...
A. 22 September 2012: A word of advice: Do not ever tell a man, or boy, you love him out of politeness. It is superficial and can be very hurtful if you don't really care about him in that way. He has probably realized that you do not like him in that way and is ... (read in full...)
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