I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 22 August 2012: Well then just move on. I am not entirely certain why you posted on this site if you are ok with it. Plus, she DID tell you about the brother because you told her to go ahead and brush up against him. I think you just go on your merry way and let ... (read in full...)
My kickboxing teacher acts very weird around me. Opinions?
Q. Okay well I don't want people saying a load of shit. So I go to kickboxing club and I'm a blackbelt. My teacher seems very flirtatious with me...... When we do fitness he seems too be looking at me, sometimes I catch him staring at me , but for ...
A. 21 August 2012: I guess I do not know what you consider a load of shit or not, so I am wondering if I should respond.
How old is your instructor? In my country, it would be inappropriate to ride alone with a coach or instructor. Any adult doing that in my count... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with other women while I'm trying to get over her?
Q. I was recently rejected by my best friend. I'm doing the best I can to get over it (mostly by trying to get with as many women as I can so I don't look totally pathetic to her), but it's hard to care about anyone else because I'm still in love with ...
A. 21 August 2012: I think you can do what you want as long as the other women know it is just sex.
I also think it is a big misconception that sleeping with as many women as you can after a break-up makes you look less pathetic.
It actually makes you look m... (read in full...)
How can I fix this, we had sex and now she hasn't seen me much!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years. And in that time, we've taken things really slow. Mainly because I'm the first guy she's ever dated. I've never minded the rate at which our relationship has moved because I love being with ...
A. 20 August 2012: If you haven't contacted her you need to do so. Women expect men to take the intiative and a lot of men don't. This makes us think you don't care and we should move on. You shouldn't have waited two weeks. If she really likes you, she is probably ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why is he acting this way?
Q. I met what seemed to be a really genuine guy on an online dating site. We spoke everyday for a week and arranged to meet. We had a fabulous first date and both agreed we clicked. We met up the next day and he came to my home and spent the night ...
A. 20 August 2012: No disrespect to you, but what do you respect after meeting a guy online and only having met him in person for 3 or 4 days? You can't "fall in love" with someone online. You don't know anything about the person. I am sorry to say that he got what ... (read in full...)
I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 20 August 2012: Most people also attach commitment, loyalty, and respect to love. Your brother and wife have neither...for themselves or you.... (read in full...)
I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 18 August 2012: I agree with Karlos. I am also not sure why you are upset with her not telling you about everything if you don't care if she sleeps around. I'd just say "Did you sleep with him? How was it?" I mean, you are husband and wife and yet you're not ... (read in full...)
What I should I do, this girl keeps contacting my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend is a wrestler and sometimes he has to find rides to the shows that are really far away and recently he got a ride from his friends but apparently the only way he could get a ride is if he stayed the night with the person carpooling who ...
A. 18 August 2012: When some girls want something or someone, they go after it. And they don't take a hint until someone almost gets nasty with them that the attention is unwelcome. So, it isn't surprising to me. I've known some men to do this as well...even though ... (read in full...)
I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 18 August 2012: They are two grown adults and you found them in the bathtub together. What do you think? Do you think they had sex?
This is what happens when men and women are supposedly "just friends"...they end up doing something like this. This is bad, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Bf that two friends, one being male, plus me, shared a bed during a sleep-over, but nothing happened?
Q. So I slept in the same bed with two of my friends, one male and one female when I have a boyfriend. Nothing weird happened it was just a simple sleepover but I am worried that my boyfriend will be upset about it - even though they are both his ...
A. 18 August 2012: I wouldn't say anything...especially if it was completely innocent. All it will do is put doubts in your boyfriend's mind...particularly if he is a suspiscious-type.
However, at your age, it's about time to stop sharing beds with male friends.... (read in full...)
What I should I do, this girl keeps contacting my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend is a wrestler and sometimes he has to find rides to the shows that are really far away and recently he got a ride from his friends but apparently the only way he could get a ride is if he stayed the night with the person carpooling who ...
A. 18 August 2012: Why would you find it odd he is not responding or texting back? He isn't interested in her, so that is the proper thing to do. Honestly, most men won't stick their necks out and tell a woman to stop her behavior. He is probably just ignoring her ... (read in full...)
Is he interested but busy or is he calling it quits already?
Q. dear cupid, soo, earlier this week, i met a guy on a dating site; let's pretend his name is scotty. he randomly sent me a message, and after we had talked that way for a little while, he sent me his cell phone number and invited me to text him (...
A. 18 August 2012: I don't want to burst your bubble, but a man does not have to text you all day every day. Most men do have lives and you should too considering this is someone you met online and have yet to meet in real-life. Besides that, "he went so far to add ... (read in full...)
He has gone all weird. Is he distancing himself from me? Do I keep dating him or ditch him?
Q. Everything was great with this guy I was dating... Until it wasn't. I'm going to skip all the "it was so awesome" examples here- it was. For two months everything was going extremely well when I started dating and getting to know this guy that I'd...
A. 17 August 2012: I've been through this and it isn't any fun. I agree that people can get busy, but you are never too busy for someone you care about, especially a girlfriend or family member. I know men who are extremely driven and who are perfectionists in their ... (read in full...)
Is it bad if I stay together with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years now but this year he is going to be leaving for college. He's going to a college very near by but were still trying to be realistic about thing and I know the goodbyes are gonna be really tough. He ...
A. 17 August 2012: It could work out if you both want it and are committed to working at it. He is the one I would worry about as he is the one going to be in a new environment and meeting new people. But, if you both want to stay in the relationship, then all you ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex to pay back what he owes me?
Q. I've just had a nasty break up with an ex (he cheated). anyway over the years he has borrowed £1750 from me which is a hell of a lot of money. he's always said he'd pay it back, but never seemed to do so. i dont think he has realised how much its ...
A. 17 August 2012: Don't contact him because you will never get your money back. When you loan money out, you have to assume it is a donation. He especially is not going to pay you back after a nasty break-up. This is one of those life-lessons you just had the ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to tell my boyfriend our relationship is over?
Q. Hie.I have a boyfriend who is 2 years younger than me and we have been together for two years now.i met another man who is married and said he is having problems with his wife and started having an affair.he said they will break up soon so as to...
A. 17 August 2012: I would be very careful in this situation if I were you. In fact, I have been you. Except my married man was my best friend and we had an emotional affair.
First of all, understand that all married men tell this same story about their terrible... (read in full...)
I'm scared he will turn out like his dad. What can I do to help?
Q. i am dealing with my great nephew who is headed down a long hard path. he is 14 years old. his mother died of a sucide 8 years ago, his dad remarried after several relationships and pretty much through his kids to the wind. he is now in prison and i ...
A. 17 August 2012: I agree that you should talk with him and warn him of what will happen if he continues on his current course. However, I have seen parents try to deal with kids like this time and time again. I have taught several children like this who were ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to make my ex delete intimate pictures and videos of me?
Q. I've just split up with my boyfriend and I asked him to delete any private pictures he took of me and embarrassingly a video. He thinks I have no right to ask him to do that as it was for him. To be honest he seems a bit obsessed with me, he keeps ...
A. 17 August 2012: You have a right to tell him anything you want, but that doesn't mean he is going to do it. I don't need to tell you now, but this is one of the drawbacks of taking these types of pictures and videos and sending them to people (boyfriend or not). ... (read in full...)
Is he playing the sympathy card with me so he doesn't have to pay up?
Q. ok venting time i hope they allow this because this is the only site there is to get answers and vent. so my husband you all know him the 48 year old that left me for a 24 year old, tells me today (i had to go get alimony, he wants to pay cash all ...
A. 17 August 2012: Don't buy his story. This is a typical "poor me" story. Too bad, he has created his situation and he should now deal with the consequences. I too would get in touch with your lawyer and see what he or she thinks about it. That is all I would ... (read in full...)
Is it worth staying with my fiance after he disrespected me so badly?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for almost two and a half years. We met online and after we met in person and dated for a while, I moved in with him where he lived (he lived in Louisiana and I lived in Arizona)but we decided it would be a nice ...
A. 16 August 2012: Don't try to reason or rationalize his behavior away. There is no excuse for this type of abuse. And that is exactly what it is: ABUSE. I would suggest leaving him as soon as you can get your bags packed and arrangements made. There is nothing ... (read in full...)
What I should I do, this girl keeps contacting my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend is a wrestler and sometimes he has to find rides to the shows that are really far away and recently he got a ride from his friends but apparently the only way he could get a ride is if he stayed the night with the person carpooling who ...
A. 16 August 2012: What has he said when you confront him about it? Just that nothing is going on?
It would bother me too, but I think there are only a few things you can do. First, you can believe he is telling you the truth that nothing is going on. Does he ... (read in full...)
I don't know if this is workplace bullying :( what can I do?
Q. First off thanks for reading, i know it's quite long but today this has really gotten to me and i don't know what to think, hence why i am turning to you lovely people :) I have been working for a small but successful company for the past 4 years...
A. 16 August 2012: For some reason the new boss is threatened by you. You do good work, but if you do anything independently, he feels like he has to have you under his thumb. Just the many sings of an insecure boss. I've been through this many times. One boss ... (read in full...)
I want him to get a divorce so we can marry. Why does his wife keep trying to get his attention? I want her gone.
Q. im living with a man twice my age. yes he could be my daddy. but i love him. he works hard, cooks for me, cleans. and i dont have to work. the problem is is that his wife is still in the picture. she just wont get the hint, that he loves me and n...
A. 15 August 2012: She is always going to be in his life regardless of a divorce. Especially if she is still vying for his attention and he is not doing anything about it. It is not his wife that you should be angry with...it's him. She's "in the picture" because ... (read in full...)
Is he shying away? Or does he really not want to hookup again?
Q. I started hooking up with this guy a little over a month ago. We were hanging out like 3 times a week then about a week ago we were together and he admitted that he liked me more than a friends with benefits. After that he didn't talk to me for a...
A. 15 August 2012: First of all...do you want more or do you just want "hooking up"? If he likes you more than just a friend with benefits, and you haven't responded in kind, he may be wondering whether it was a good thing that he spilled his feelings to you. He may ... (read in full...)
He's acting more distant. But I can't see what I did wrong. What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing someone and we have been getting on so well he knows a lot of my friends too so it's not like I am any girl. He has just acted so distant and failed to make plans with me over the last few weeks! I have seen him as we have all ...
A. 15 August 2012: As sad as it is, I too think you should move on. Some people are not really interested in relationships. They might be for awhile, but then they just don't care anymore.
You could question him about it, but it is likely you will receive ... (read in full...)
Is there a possible future for us, to be together, or is it just wishful dreaming on my part?
Q. I like this guy very much, we're not dating, but have a good friendship; email very often, occasionally meet up for lunch during working hours, have chats at his home in the evening… we have similar interests, worldview, both academics. The backg...
A. 14 August 2012: I think if you are getting signs from him, then why not ask him out for dinner in the evening. Or, just something low-key like "grab a sandwich" or "go for coffee"? All he can do is turn you down.
As far as relationships go, there is really n... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 14 August 2012: I also wanted to add that I too get along better with men. I too had male friends growing up, but that is the difference "growing up". My male "friends" now are acquaintances, colleagues, etc. I don't call them in the middle of the night when I ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 14 August 2012: We aren't imagining "sinister sexual relationships" at all. We have just had experience with human nature and human nature is that when people are *close* friends, someone MAY develop stronger feelings. That is human nature and not anything ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 14 August 2012: I agree with misfitschick, and yes I have tried. I developed a friendship with a guy and it turned into more for both of us. He then wanted to go back to being "just friends". I tried, but my heart simply couldn't take it. I was in love with ... (read in full...)
Long distance stringing along?
Q. Met a guy 6 months ago, he knew I was moving West in a few months he fell in lone with me and I fell for him too. We spent 4 months together every night then I left for Nevada. We are 1700 miles apart he calls or web cam daily, says he misses me ...
A. 14 August 2012: I think people can change, but most choose not to. Maybe he is an exception. I think you must be very careful from here on out. Even if he does move, how much support is he paying for his children/women/wives? I think it is odd that he has not ... (read in full...)
He deleted his profile after I updated our relationship anniversary, Should I take this personally?
Q. So yesterday while on facebook, I did some updates on my profile, including putting my boyfriend and I's anniversary date. We've been together since February 2012 and have always said we're "in a relationship" with one another. Well when I spoke to ...
A. 12 August 2012: Once again, Facebook has caused more trouble than what it is worth. Please tell me why anything you do on an online social-networking site would be more important than what is going on in real life?
I agree with your boyfriend. I had a Facebo... (read in full...)
Can a relationship have no physical closeness?
Q. I am not so sure what is going on. I am 23 years old. I have been seeing a man who is 11 years older than I am. We have been frequently seeing each other for almost 2 months now. Usually they are overnight visits, (sex is not always the outcome). We ...
A. 12 August 2012: You are going to have to talk to him because no one can really answer your question. If it would have been me, I would have taken more time to get to know him and all of the behaviors you are currently describing. You need to get to know a person ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his mother ganged up on me and now I don't know what to think, How should I deal with this situation?
Q. Hi just wanted someone to talk to for advice really ok this is a long one i was/been in a relationship for nearly 6 years my bfriend is the father to my two children we have been living together almost on and off the same time we have been dating, ...
A. 12 August 2012: What you should think is that you are rid of this family, that is, unless you decide to take him back at some point. Honestly, this is why people place a lot of importance on marriage. If you don't want to be left high and dry with a house, ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 12 August 2012: Why say no? Because "dating" has to do with getting to know someone and finding out whether or not you are compatible. People who are not compatible should not enter into a lifetime commitment. While some cultures have arranged marriages, most do ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behavior normal or did he just use me?
Q. Dear cupid I am in LDR with my bf for past few months. I stay in a different country cause of work. I traveled 2 weeks before to my place to visit my parents and my bf. We had a very good time. He asked me to buy him few stuff from here, whi...
A. 12 August 2012: I think your latest post shows that the relationship isn't a very high priority for him. I have read so many posts here where a boyfriend is "hanging out with his friends". I think we all needs friends, but if you're serious about your girlfriend, ... (read in full...)
Are the fights between my wife and me just a veiled passive-aggressive fight to be the one to "wear the pants" in our relationship?
Q. My wife is awesome, smart, beautiful, an amazing mother, and a accomplished ballerina. I love her with my entire being. I'm confident she feels that same love for me We have one big issue to tackle and it is a matter of pride and control ---...
A. 12 August 2012: It sounds like your male pride is rearing its ugly head with the comment that you would be the best choice as head of the household. And I agree with the other posts that you need to drop that attitude.
A relationship isn't about having a... (read in full...)
How do I call without coming off as clingy and paranoid or stalkerish?
Q. My friend hasn't been online at all, anywhere, for about a week, which isn't like him. I texted him yesterday and he hasn't replied. He lives in another state so I can't exactly just pop over to his place to see if he's all right. I'm trying not to ...
A. 12 August 2012: Are you sure he isn't on vacation or in school? Why is it clingy or stalkerish to call someone and inquire about his well-being? Just call him and ask how he's been doing. You'll feel a lot better.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behavior normal or did he just use me?
Q. Dear cupid I am in LDR with my bf for past few months. I stay in a different country cause of work. I traveled 2 weeks before to my place to visit my parents and my bf. We had a very good time. He asked me to buy him few stuff from here, whi...
A. 12 August 2012: It would be common courtesy for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend before she leaves the country even if he didn't want to. Most guys would call or text because they would WANT TO. If he isn't willing to do something small like this when you live ... (read in full...)
I've never been turned down for sex in the middle of the night, I feel hurt! Am I over reacting?
Q. I'm so hurt it's unbelievable. I live with my boyfriend but went away abroad with my mum and sister for a week and got back last night. everyday we called and texted a lot, he told me all the time how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me. I've ...
A. 12 August 2012: You are overreacting. I know that sometimes it is hurtful when we get turned down, but if the guy went on a 20-mile bike ride, he could be in pain or just very tired. I think it was just emotional for you because you just came home. Be ... (read in full...)
How can I bring up that I want more out of this relationship without ruining what we already have?
Q. Ok so I have been "seeing" this guy for a couple months now. Basically we just meet up when we're going out to a bar and we'll hang out with each others friends and always have sex later on in the night. We stay the night with one another and ...
A. 12 August 2012: I agree with Blonde30's. If you think you might want more with a man, you don't sleep with him before getting to know him. On the other hand, if you want more, talk to him about it. Ask him on a date. If he says "no" though, you have a decision ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel this way? Advice needed!
Q. I started dating this guy back in May. He is a great guy and I know I care about him, but I always get this feeling in the back of mind if we really should be together. When we are together everything seems great, but when we're not I get random ...
A. 12 August 2012: I think if you are having doubts that you should take a break from one another and see if this is something you really want. Usually when people who love one another are away from each other, they want to see each other more...they do not start ... (read in full...)
He says if I really loved him I would go back to him ...
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around two months ago. But, we work together and he keeps beging me to take him back. Funny thing is that he broke up with me. We had been together for four years, I managed to get him off drugs and he stopped party...
A. 12 August 2012: Besides that, yes, if you really did love him, you probably would go back with him. The problem with that is, he doesn't deserve your love because he doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. And, after the things he's done, your love has ... (read in full...)
He says if I really loved him I would go back to him ...
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around two months ago. But, we work together and he keeps beging me to take him back. Funny thing is that he broke up with me. We had been together for four years, I managed to get him off drugs and he stopped party...
A. 12 August 2012: It sounds like you had good cause to break up with your boyfriend and I would stick to your guns. That means to hold steadfast and do not waiver from your decision. He was disrespectful to you more than once and took you for granted. I would not ... (read in full...)
Long distance stringing along?
Q. Met a guy 6 months ago, he knew I was moving West in a few months he fell in lone with me and I fell for him too. We spent 4 months together every night then I left for Nevada. We are 1700 miles apart he calls or web cam daily, says he misses me ...
A. 8 August 2012: I understand you love him. I've been in my fair share of situations to know how hard it is. If you are happier than you are miserable, then you're probably doing ok. If you're starting to be sad about the relationship and wondering whether it is ... (read in full...)
Long distance stringing along?
Q. Met a guy 6 months ago, he knew I was moving West in a few months he fell in lone with me and I fell for him too. We spent 4 months together every night then I left for Nevada. We are 1700 miles apart he calls or web cam daily, says he misses me ...
A. 8 August 2012: This is a not a good situation for you. He has too many other responsibilities and obligations that he cannot possibly offer you much if anything. Even if he did get the money to move to where you are, is he going to be able to contribute much to ... (read in full...)
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