A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,Hope you can help,Ive been seeing my girlfriend for about 18 months - we will live an hour from each other - plus for a long part of this I used to work away so seeing each other was not easy.But at the weekend I would try to arrange to see her - but there was I was never a priority she would say oh im going out with friends may see you saturday or sunday - heres me thinking cant wait to get back and see herDuring this time she has broken up with me a couple of time she says its not what she wants - but we have got back togther after a couple of weeksNow I am home everynight I try to see her - she says she cant because she doing this or that but could possibly see me on such a night - At the very best I get to see her may be twice a week.She is a planner and has her weeks all set out Im more of a lets see what happens but when I suggested we plan to go somewhere in the future its yes that sounds good - but its never planned in.She use to send me flirty and suggestive txts - but these have turned into more how are u and are u ok Physical things have taken a dive - we use have a good physical relationship but she is now defensive about touching her - yet she still touches my thigh and gives me a kiss - but these are kisses on the lips not full go for it types - she sometimes says she loves me but not usually as response from me saying it Just some background we met on a dating site - in the past Ive never given it a thought - but I checked a few weeks back and she was on ot everyday - I challenged her and she asked did it bother me - I said I cant stop you but it is a dating site - you are either looking or you are dating either way its not good - I checked a few days later and she had hidden her profile - Im really confused of what to do - every time I try to talk to her about thing she turn things around and I feel as though im the bad person?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 Well, you said it yourself : if she is , or was ,on a dating site everyday it's not just a harmless one time curiosity, she must be either looking , or dating, and either way it's not good.
There's a lot of people who does not like to jump without a net,- she will keep you around , old reliable faithful and convenient you, until she'll have found someone new and firmed things with them- at which point, she'll give you the boot, or just go the passive aggressive way and stop answering your messages hoping you'll get the hint.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 You have already received some very good advice here. All I can add is that if a woman is into you, she will want to spend as much time with you as possible.
I do not know all of the variables in your relationship, but if you are communicating with her and trying to make arrangements to see her...then she never follows through on plans, I would tell her it doesn't seem like things are working out and move on. I was with one guy who did this and it's very disheartening. Nothing is every "wrong" they just never have the time for you.
Honestly, it is not worth trying to get their attention all the time. I am not sure why she would send you texts like that but then break plans with you. I know my ex-boyfriend was always too busy for me, then he would always wonder why I was cold to him or didn't want to do anything with him...that was because he rarely ever saw me as a priority. That does not sound like your case though.
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A
male
reader, Flashtony +, writes (22 September 2012):
It's not what you want to hear...but she's just not that into you..
move on..
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Well sounds like she is still on the dating scene. I mean for her to all of a sudden hide her profile from you after you've challenged her on it seems very suspicious.i think you should have a talk with her express how you feel to her and end it.Then she can carry on dating or whatever it is she is doing and you can find that someone who has time for you in there schedule. Seems you've made all of the effort and she hasn't even bothered to try and not even acknowledged the effort you've made.You deserve a lot more than that.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 September 2012):
 I agree with Honey, I think she's perhaps looking for someone else. She's happy to keep you on board for now but overall, lack of sexual contact and attention, the blase attitude towards seeing you and the whole 'dating site' thing suggests she is edging you towards the door.
It's a shitty thing to do because if she is looking elsewhere, she should let you go so you can move on and find someone more attentive.
You've tried talking to her about it and she turns it round to make you feel guilty...this is a guilt avoidance tactic (and it works everytime)
I think you should go with your gut...if things slide further, I suggest getting back on that dating site yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 September 2012):
 If she after 18 months of dating is STILL on the dating site and still logs in to check who might have approached her, then she is using you til she finds greener grass in my honest opinion.
Did you two talk about being exclusive? About taking your profiles down? If not.. and you still want to try it with her, then maybe that is something that needs to happen.
However, I think I would look for someone else to date, she really doesn't seem to give it her full attention.
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