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... Send *sk Heather a private message | | | *sk Heather's profile:Hi, I`m 43, happily married, no children at home now, Aah the peace!! When I was at school, other children (and 1 teacher!) were asking my advice, and over all the years nothing has changed, I`m still asked for my advice, which I take as a Huge Compliment. It`s not all been plain sailing for me; I have lost a child, there is nothing worse. I have known the pain of infidelity, and how it stings. Sometimes, when someone asks for advice, they just want someone to agree with them, to back them. I can`t do that. I tell it how it is. Heather xx |
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My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 28 February 2007: Gosh! I think this is my most difficult one yet! But I won`t be Beaten!!! I am Determined to come up with something that may Help! I appretiate you tried hard at a "Normal Conversation" in the morning; but perhaps this put you both "On the Spot" a ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 27 February 2007: It was Great to hear back from you! It`s always lovely to read a Follow-up on Questions we tried to help with, especially when we mere mortals have been of some help; which wasn`t the case here!! I guess you`ll be buying that walkman then! Seriously ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he wants to get to know me or if he's actually just after one thing!
Q. I am looking for a relationship. Not a serious one just a relationship involving 2 people who are comitted to each other and have fun. I am currently getting to know this boy, but i am not sure of his intentions. He has just come out of a 2 year ...
A. 27 February 2007: nicola79 gives excellent advice, you`ll only know if you go! He certainly dosn`t sound like a womaniser, but it could give you peace of mind to meet in a public place for the first date, and don`t invite him in for coffee, or vice versa. If all goes ... (read in full...)
Since the ring on my finger I feel that that I am constantly judged!
Q. Recently the relationship im in took a turning point were we gave each other engagement rings as the relationship has been a very happy one and i thought we understood each other.Since then i have had all my negative points brought up,The fact that ...
A. 27 February 2007: As Dr Pete says, this must be talked through. I would set aside an evening, with no distractions like the TV on etc, and both sit down calmly to talk. He must understand that his "Joking" is hurting you. He loves you enough to be engaged to you, so ... (read in full...)
When sober my bf is wonderful! When drunk he's loud, obnoxious and aggressive! Do I get rid of him?
Q. My boyfriend is wonderful when he's sober, we have a great time and get on really well. However, when he's drunk, I hate him. He's loud, obnoxious and very aggressive towards me for no reason. It doesn't take much to start him off then he just ...
A. 27 February 2007: He needs to sort himself out FAST. I suggest Alcoholics Anonymous as a good place to start. There are regular meetings held in most towns, the people are friendly, and it`s free. If he refuses to recognise that he has a problem, then I`d get out ... (read in full...)
She picks on EVERYTHING I do! She even says if I fall asleep before her, I'm neglecting her!
Q. I am 3 years into a relationship.I`m aware of my bad points.I even told her my negative points from day one. Now 3 years down the line she`s constantly nagging and bringing up my bad points. She organises everything we do,without a thought. I am ...
A. 27 February 2007: I agree with rhythmandblues2, I think this has gone on for far too long. Can you picture yourself being tormented like this for another 3 years? I appretiate how frustrated you must feel, loving her, trying your best to please her, but getting ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 27 February 2007: I agree with Ponungalungb, this man sounds like bore of the year! only he dosn`t seem to realise it! I think that`s where to start, by making him understand that his constant droning isn`t as enthralling as he thinks it is. There`s no need for a ... (read in full...)
I made a big mistake! How do I build the trust with her again?
Q. can someone help me, i really need it... me and my girl (shes not my girlfriend anymore) are in a bit of a pickle right now. i screwed up big time, i accidentally read her myspace messages and saw that she was talking to another guy. it was her ...
A. 27 February 2007: I know you love this girl. But, you have "accidently" read her myspace messages; instead of clicking off, you have read all her personal messages. That Stings, you`ve found that out, for both of you. You have, though, made a huge, huge effort at ... (read in full...)
What type of special gift can I get my new little sister?
Q. I no this isnt the type of question on here but im stuck. im 22 and want 2 no what i can get my new baby sister as a special present that she can keep 4 the rest of her life? And e help would be great coz i want it 2 b special but not mind-blowingly ...
A. 27 February 2007: Not the type of Question? Of course it is! That`s the beauty of this site - You can ask anything, and we (Agonising Aunts!) will try our best to answer!! I suggest a little something that is in some way personalised; will have special meaning. It ... (read in full...)
How can I suggest to my boyfriend he needs to take care of his personal hygiene better?
Q. How can I suggest to my boyfriend he needs to take care of his personal hygiene better? I mean, he showers and brush his hair and stuff. But how can I make him to shower every night and wash his clothes when it gets dirty and brush his teeth twice a ...
A. 27 February 2007: You can`t "Make Him" take showers / wash clothes etc, but you certainly could try to encourage him. Obviously, working on a farm is very different than working in a city; and there is a lot of manual work involved, which perhaps leaves him ... (read in full...)
I think im driving myself mad with jealousy. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i just cant trust him at all.
Q. Really need some advice. I think im driving myself mad with jealousy. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i just cant trust him at all. he's a bit of a closed book and something just isnt right with him. Sometimes i wonder do i ...
A. 25 February 2007: "Stop it ! " There`s an expression; "You are your own worst enemy". That`s the case here! ( but deep down, you know that anyway! ) You`ve been hurt before, and looking out for the signs is natural for you. Please please please; ( and I know this ... (read in full...)
I want to try different positions with my boyfriend, any ideas?
Q. me and my boyfriend have regular sex and i want to try differnt positions and i want to try new things any one have any ideas?????...
A. 25 February 2007: I`d love to help, but as you are under age, I can`t. As you`ve given your age, 13 - 15, I am concerned that, although you feel you are in a loving relationship, there may be other areas of your life that are being neglected; possibly your education. ... (read in full...)
Do YOU think he's cheating on me?
Q. quite a few times ive suspected my partner of cheating on me, having read messages on his mobile phone, but when ive asked him about it he says hes not doing anything and these girls are just his friends. today i was supposed to be meeting him at ...
A. 25 February 2007: Quite a few times you`ve suspected your partner has been cheating on you. I wonder how much he`s been cheating, and how much you`re worried that he might! If you have no concrete evidence, then it could be, perhaps that you have a "low self esteem". ... (read in full...)
I am having big trust issues with my partner. What do you advise?
Q. Hi, I am living with my partner and have been for about 8 months now and i am having real trust issues with him. When we first started seeing each other it was rather casual and i think we both messed each other around. I think that this is why i ...
A. 21 February 2007: Searching for Girls in your Area on the Internet is Bad News. Many men look at porn and play around on the computer, whilst still loving their wife / girlfriend with all their heart; and would never dream of being unfaithful, but actively looking ... (read in full...)
Is his moodiness a way of pushing me away?
Q. I am glad this site is around and I appreciate any answers to my questions. I am in the beginning stages of a friendship which I hope may lead to more. The problems seem to be happening with the email part of the relationship. The man involved ...
A. 20 February 2007: Have just recieved your update, Thank you. Yes of course there`s a connection. As I said previously, when we`re ill and in discomfort/pain, sometimes we can be tetchy. And having a stroke can take a lot of getting over. I think this man has done ... (read in full...)
Is his moodiness a way of pushing me away?
Q. I am glad this site is around and I appreciate any answers to my questions. I am in the beginning stages of a friendship which I hope may lead to more. The problems seem to be happening with the email part of the relationship. The man involved ...
A. 20 February 2007: I agree with CD, I don`t think any of us can give you much of an answer without any more details. On what little you`ve given us, you`ve said this man has been ill; and when we`re ill and/or in pain, we can sometimes be "tetchy". Perhaps this is the ... (read in full...)
After 6 months of marriage my husband has asked for time out to clear his head! I'm so hurt, I don't think I have any tears left...
Q. Hi, after serious discussion and after just 6 months of marriage, my husband has decided there is something wrong in our relationship and wants a break to see if he can clear his head, he moved out last night, i also felt that there was something ...
A. 20 February 2007: I don`t think it`s stress, although stress could be a part of it, I think theres more to it than that. As I see it, you only have two options (neither of them pleasant). No. 1/ Sit tight and wait for your husband to decide what he wants to do, (I ... (read in full...)
It seems as if he has a multiple personality disorder, I know he hasn't but it seems like he does.
Q. I am 23, I am in a serious relationship. (practically married) We were engaged, but I broke it off.(the engagement -not the relationship) I don't really know how better to put this except.....about a month ago the guy I'm with seems to have ...
A. 19 February 2007: From what you say, which dosn`t give us much to go on really, I think you both need to have an evening in; with the TV & Stereo switched off, and have a Good Long Talk. It could be that the guy is really stressed at work, or that you could be ... (read in full...)
My wife has just lost a very close family member in death and I don't know what to say to her? Help appreciated here.
Q. hi i need help on how to help my wife who is grieving over the loss of a very close family member. I know i shouldn't but i feel abit uncomfortable being around her at times when shes upset because i don't know what to do or say. I don't know how i ...
A. 19 February 2007: It`s totally understandable to feel as you do, to want so very much to help the one you love, and not know where to start, what to say. As the other answers have said, yes, just being there will be of some comfort, and any little small things you ... (read in full...)
He was sleeping with people behind my back now he logs onto dating websites! What should I do!?
Q. hi cupid, i have been with my boyfriend for nearly five years, and last year he told me he had been sleeping with people behind my back. After a period of time of not being together he told me he had been stupid and wanted me back. So i got back tog...
A. 18 February 2007: You deserve Better! I appretiate that you care for this guy very much, but he has lied to you, and cheated on you. After you took him back, it appears he`s up to his tricks again. You`re only young, you`ve got your whole life ahead of you; and ... (read in full...)
I get angry when my bf drops everything for his adult children and doesn't do the same for me! What can I do?
Q. i am dating an older man in his 60's. we have been dating 2years, 2 months. he is wonderful to me but he will not get engaged to me. however, if his two older children want him to do something or have a need, it only takes 1 minute for him to ...
A. 17 February 2007: It`s probably not what you want to hear, but here goes.... This man, in his sixties, has adult children, whom he obviously loves very much; and although he loves you very much too, 2 years is really not that long time. Ask yourself this; if this ... (read in full...)
After his climax, he's dressed and ready to go out for food! What about my needs?!?!
Q. It's like it's all about him! How can I make him see I have needs, too? My boyfriend and I are really close. We've been together for a year, but after the first five months of having sex (It's month nine and a half), he kind of lost interest in...
A. 15 February 2007: Well you obviously care about each other a lot, and can be good together in bed, but if you`re not now getting the satisfaction that you used to have; and that you know you can have again, you obviously need to sit down and have a good talk. It ... (read in full...)
How can I build up my body?
Q. Hi, I am 19, 20 this year and i am 6ft 1 tall. I have always been very slim, i'm uncomfortable about my body being on show when i'm going swimming or when in the summer it's hot and want to take off my top. The problem is weight like 9 stone and...
A. 8 February 2007: As the Last two answers have said, it would be a good idea to check with your doctor, just in case there is a physical reason that you may be on the slim side for your height; but please remember that everyone is different, with a different body ... (read in full...)
She wants to break up with me and remain friends as there is "no spark" in our relationship!
Q. This question may seem long, however i am only including the relevent info because i believe this is a unique situation and need some advice. I am in my mid twenties and i had been dating this lovely lady for a few months. We started off as frien...
A. 8 February 2007: I Feel for you, I really do. You Love this woman very much, and it shows. She knows how much you Love her, i`m sure. However, although she, obviously, feels a lot for you too, she has been under enormous strain; both physically and mentally. No-one ... (read in full...)
He was unavailable to take my call...and I'm being suspicious! Am I being silly or what?
Q. hi been with my b/f for over 2 years..we spent the whole day together yesterday and he took me home at night. I got there at about 9:40. I did ask him to call me later to say nite...1:15 am or so came, i decided to call and say night..a lot of ...
A. 5 February 2007: Yes, you are being silly, if this is all you have to go on! You`ve been together for two, presumably loving years, and don`t have any other doubts about this guy, apart from in your imagination! You haven`t mentioned that he has cheated on you, and ... (read in full...)
Feel disgusted that I have kissed two guys when drunk and have hurt my bf! What canI do?
Q. I have been very stupid twice.. I have been with boyfriend for 5years, xmas 2004 i was too drunk and kissed a friend, because i was drunk and we'd always been flirty i thought i loved him! we thought we had something special- when really we didnt at ...
A. 5 February 2007: I think you have a Very Understanding Boyfriend! A lot of guys would be good enough to forgive this behaviour once, but twice?!! He must think, at the back of his mind, that if you can kiss guys when drunk, what else could you do, and not remember? ... (read in full...)
He said that I should be the one to buy our house, this way he can walk away if something should happen.
Q. I have been dating a guy for almost 2 yrs and he wants me to move in with him at one of his rentals,I suggest getting married and buying a house of our own,but he thinks that is foolish since he allready has one that he likes cause it is in the ...
A. 3 February 2007: I agree with Eve, this seems like a "No Win" situation - For You Anyway !! It`s understandable that this man wants to make provisions for his children; but he also needs to realise that you come into the equasion also. Before ANYONE moves ANYWHERE, ... (read in full...)
She lied to me about her past, seems to be living a double life, and ended up giving me an STD! What do I do?
Q. I've been dating a girl for 4 years. the first year was great but then i started noticing she would avoid and hide issues of her past relationships. Anyway to make a long story short, (after 3 years of me drilling her with questions and gettin ...
A. 3 February 2007: Four Years in a Relationship is quite a long time to be loving that person, sharing with that person, hoping & planning a future together, etc, so I understand your dilema at this point. It`s a big decision to make, to tough it out, try to work it ... (read in full...)
Foolishly told her a lie at the start of our relationship, now it has been exposed how do I regain her trust in me?
Q. I met a woman for whom I am totally amazed with, and found myself falling for. The problem is that early on in the relationship, I lied to her. I had been living with the mother of my daughter for awhile, even tho we werent together, shared a house ...
A. 1 February 2007: I think you`ve already answered your own question, You know you must tell her the Truth, but you should point out that the Relationship with your Ex partner was going nowhere, and that the reason that you were not honest with your current partner, ... (read in full...)
Foolishly told her a lie at the start of our relationship, now it has been exposed how do I regain her trust in me?
Q. I met a woman for whom I am totally amazed with, and found myself falling for. The problem is that early on in the relationship, I lied to her. I had been living with the mother of my daughter for awhile, even tho we werent together, shared a house ...
A. 1 February 2007: In a way, you`ve answered your own question, you KNOW you have to come clean, and explain yourself ; there`s No Other Way ! BUT, if you explain to your girlfriend, who you obviously adore, the reasons that you lied to her, a big part of was to ... (read in full...)
It hurts me to think he lies about masturbating!
Q. I am 22 years old and my fiance is 24. We have a healthy relationship, sexual and other. I understand it is normal to masterbate, everyone does it. But it hurts my feelings when he does it and lies about it, and covers it up. He never just does ...
A. 27 December 2006: No, You have Nothing to worry about! He`s engaged to YOU, and it`s YOU he wants. All guys masturbate, it`s a fact of life. The secrecy and denial most probably stem from earlier on in life, he was probably told it`s wrong/naughty/shamefull etc. As ... (read in full...)
My BF doesn't want to be intimate with me!
Q. I have a boyfriend who is 35. We have been together for 8 and a half months. I like to be intimite quite a bit but he doesnt, he says its because his tired or that i pressure him too much. He is also very insecure and blames me alot for cheating ...
A. 3 November 2006: This Guy is Very Very Insecure, and he is frightened. Frightened of being hurt. Frightened of showing his Feelings. Frightened of being rebuffed. Can you imagine what it is like for a guy (they always have to make the "first moves"), to pluck up the ... (read in full...)
Why did she call us for her son instead of her son??
Q. my partners ex wife ring my partner to see where there 18 year old son were as he dident go home after work he stoped with us ... she said she had been up all night worrying about him but why didnt she ring her sons phone as it were swiched on and ...
A. 2 November 2006: Well, if this is the only time this has happened, there could be a genuine reason for her ringing you. Sometimes with Mobile phones there isn`t enough signal to recieve calls and texts. Also, when someone is really worried sick about something, they ... (read in full...)
I get sick to my stomach when I don't talk to him! How do I gain control of this?
Q. Im with this lovely guy He is so great the only thing is we are long distance at the min, although this will change soon. I am kinda new to the whole relationship thing and I think my guy has picked on this. He always offers me reasuranse when ...
A. 1 November 2006: It`s Wonderful that you feel this great, all encompassing love for this man, and i`m sure he knows it too! He`s very lucky to have you, and I bet he knows that too! What i`d like though, is for you to have a couple of nights just for you, to think. ... (read in full...)
My army guy deserted me years ago and now...he's back and wants to be with me! All these feelings are coming back..what should I do?
Q. i have a big problem when i was 16 i fell in love with an armyboy we would spend all our time together when he was on leave he was 3 years older then one week he never came back and stopped answering my calls i found out he had got married 6 yrs on ...
A. 1 November 2006: Most of us have Wonderful, Warm memories of our First Love, or a "True Love", which is nice, but we have to remember that, as we`re not with that person, IT WASN`T MEANT TO BE! ! I think, because this has cropped up, out of the blue, warm feelings ... (read in full...)
Hours before my Mother's funeral the man I love, is texting another woman tell her 'she is hot!"! What should I do?
Q. hi i dont really know if you could call this a problem, i suppose its quite obvious what i should do but i really just need someone to say it! Ok, so i'm 21 and everything has been great with my boyfriend lately, we've had our arguements in the past ...
A. 1 November 2006: You`ve answered your own question, you know that; but I understand you want to hear it from someone else, someone not involved. I hope by the time you read this you will have made that decision, and be determined to stick with it. It is difficult to ... (read in full...)
He loves porn..he texts other women in chatrooms and he says he does it because....he's just messing about??? I feel worthless-what should I do?
Q. hi im recently married to a man i love very much and i know that he loves me to however he loves to look at porn on the net and also texts to other women through chat rooms also the women have sent him rude pics of themselves. i have confronted him ...
A. 1 November 2006: This is a difficult situation, and my heart goes out to you. Can I ask, was this behaviour apparent before you married? It seems as though your Husband dosn`t realise he`s married. I don`t know how old he is, but he is certainly acting like a young ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose-my wonderful new man or my husband who left me for another woman?
Q. My husband left me for another woman, I was devastated but eventually tried to move on and even began seeing someone else. Now my husband has left the other woman and says he@ll do anything to get me back! I am very confused and dont want to hurt ...
A. 31 October 2006: eyeswideopen and Irish have given Excellent Advice, which I can only echo, but something tells me that you probably already knew the answer to your question deep down, and just needed to hear it from someone else. That is why this is a superb site, ... (read in full...)
I need some guy gift ideas
Q. help! me and my boyfriend have been going out 3 year in a couple of weeks and i need some ideas on what too get him.. he always buys me realy nice gifts but i just dont have a clue. I cant cook him a nice meal either as i cant cook. lol :( any su...
A. 31 October 2006: Oooh how exciting! I love Aiversaries & Romantic occasions! The Biggest and Best Present you can give him is Your Love. No amount of money spent can compare with this! But, you obviously would like to get him a special present to show him how much ... (read in full...)
Feeling very low that we dont have sex so much, what can I do to make him see how much this means to me!?
Q. Hi, Im really concerned about my relationship. We are both in our 30's and have been together 3 years, We are very much in love and do anything for each other but.... Things feel like they get worse rather than better and I dont know how to fix...
A. 30 October 2006: I Feel for you, I really do. Having sex with the person you love is such a wonderfull feeling of closeness and mutual pleasure giving, and I do understand how low you feel at not being able to share this right now. You obviously Love this man very ... (read in full...)
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