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... Send *sk Heather a private message | | | *sk Heather's profile:Hi, I`m 43, happily married, no children at home now, Aah the peace!! When I was at school, other children (and 1 teacher!) were asking my advice, and over all the years nothing has changed, I`m still asked for my advice, which I take as a Huge Compliment. It`s not all been plain sailing for me; I have lost a child, there is nothing worse. I have known the pain of infidelity, and how it stings. Sometimes, when someone asks for advice, they just want someone to agree with them, to back them. I can`t do that. I tell it how it is. Heather xx |
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Do you think that men and women can be just "good friends"?
Q. My male friend and I hit it off immediately when we met through friends a couple of years ago. Since then we have become really good friends. We're constantly laughing, we're one of the first people we tell everything to, we confide in each other ...
A. 9 March 2007: Yes, Men & Women can be just "Good Friends". Each and Every one of us has a feminine & masculine side; normally one side being stronger than the other. Lot`s of women were tomboys as youngsters; and get on better with men in later life. Many men ... (read in full...)
We've been fighting a lot lately, how can I stand up to her?
Q. hey, im a guy, 15 yrs old. me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot lately. i mean, im trying to be helpful and trying to help, but she is stubborn and doesnt think things can be fixed. i do though. and i dont want to lose her. she is the love ...
A. 9 March 2007: What is that you`re trying to fix, and she dosn`t think can be fixed? What are you appologising for? Can you give us some more information, we`d like to help. Kind Regards, Heather.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?
Q. Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?...
A. 9 March 2007: As you ask why he suddenly wants you to make the first move, I am presuming that up until now he was making the moves on you. A Good relationship is both ways, and it will make him feel very special & wanted if you sometimes initiate sex too. If ... (read in full...)
I found out he had been over at his ex's house, asked him and he admitted it. What do I do?
Q. I'm 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend whos 20 for almost a year...On march 5th I found out he went to his ex girlfriends house. I acted calm and asked him to come over to my house right after so we could talk. He said he just wanted ...
A. 9 March 2007: I know what you say when you say you feel sick to your stomach. It`s a horrible feeling; we`ve all been there. This guy has abused your trust terribly, and to have that picture on his phone was just too much. Only you can decide if you want to stay ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a guy but he has MOOBS!
Q. Hello I'm in love with this bloke but he has MOOBS! (That's man boobs for those of you who don't know) I don't want to sound shallow but we all know that looks play an important role in attraction. I don't care about race, colour, nationality, rel...
A. 8 March 2007: I agree with Eve, she always tells it how it is! You say he`s special; I agree, he`s too special for you. Heather. ... (read in full...)
Today i have found out that my childhood sweetheart for 17 years has been having an affair for 4 months with my brother in law!
Q. hi, today i have found out that my childhood sweetheart for 17 years has been having an affair for 4 months with my brother in law, me and my sister had our suspicions but never confered with each other until today, they have been texting and ...
A. 7 March 2007: This is a difficult one, not least because the amount of time you`ve been together, and the 2 children you have together. She says nothing has happened, but I agree with you that texting & phoning every day for the last 3 months seems more than just ... (read in full...)
I've been dating this guy 4 months but have never met him (met online) we live so far away, should I break it off with him?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and this guy have been dating for about four months going on five. I meet him over a dateline, he sounded like a sweet guy, so after some time he asked me to be his girlfriend. For some unknown reason without even thinking i said yes...
A. 7 March 2007: I agree with CD, We`d both like to see you getting "out & about" in the real world; and having fun! There`s no reason you should break off the connection you have with this guy, you obviously enjoy each other`s company on line, and this could be a ... (read in full...)
He slept with 2 girls when I was pregnant and had unprotected sex with the one. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for 4 years now. We grew up together also dating in high school. Our relationship has been a series of ups and downs to say the least! In June of 2005 we found out I was pregnant. He freaked out t...
A. 6 March 2007: I agree with agony uncle, try, hard though it is, to put this behind you, for your little girl`s sake as much as yours. You mentioned a class you`d taken at your church; in times of worry, the church, if you`re a believer, can be a souce of great ... (read in full...)
He has erectile issues and previous gf's have cheated on him. Now he thinks I will dump him..what should I do?
Q. I have been dating a man for about 6 months. We have probably had intercourse 5 or 6 times. Mostly we just fool around - he says he has erectile issues. He made an appointment to seek help but then cancelled and rescheduled it for months out. ...
A. 6 March 2007: He`s certainly suffering from low esteem from what you say, which, yes can manifest itself in erectile problems; but there could an underlying health problem too. I think that`s the first place to start, at the doctor`s (many impotency problems are ... (read in full...)
how is is possible to tell the difference between a lass who's flirty and a lass who's flirty, but also interested?
Q. how is is possible to tell the difference between a lass who's flirty and a lass who's flirty, but also interested?...
A. 6 March 2007: Gosh, Count yourself lucky that you seem to be surrounded by so many flirty females! Why not try flirting along too, and see what the reaction is; if you don`t get the cold shoulder you can always "test the water" with would you like a drink / a ... (read in full...)
I am not interested in a relationship just now but there's one girl I just can't get out of my head. I've tried everything! How do I get past this?
Q. This problem may be differant to what you normally help with... I am 18 years old and have never been in a relationship. Now that isn't the problem, because I DON'T want to be in one (not just now, but ever... I wont talk about why, because it's ...
A. 6 March 2007: I think you`re very confused, and I think that you know that. I am VERY concerned about your depression and Self-Harming. Please please make an appointment with a doctor or therapist, there IS help out there, but you have to make the first step. ... (read in full...)
Are my friends right?
Q. me and my bf are planning to have sex in 2 weeks as he staying at mine. he a virgin and im far from being one (9 guys) he saying that even though ive been with that many guys in his eyes im still a virgin as i never loved those guys but i love him. ...
A. 6 March 2007: It was Great hearing back from you! It`s always Lovely to have a Follow up! Thank you for taking the time. I`m glad, in this guy, you`ve found someone to love and trust; as it certainly sounds like you haven`t had it easy. Good Luck & Best Wishes to ... (read in full...)
What is your definition of love?
Q. My question is short and concise; What is love? I know that there is no text book definition of love, and that there's no right or wrong answer to that. I've always wondering and was just thinking what everybody else here thought. Thanks. ...
A. 5 March 2007: There is a song "Love is a many splendour thing", meaning much diversity. There is the love a woman feels for a man, & vice versa. There is the deep love a mother has for her child. There is the protective love we have for our dog/cat. There is the ... (read in full...)
Are my friends right?
Q. me and my bf are planning to have sex in 2 weeks as he staying at mine. he a virgin and im far from being one (9 guys) he saying that even though ive been with that many guys in his eyes im still a virgin as i never loved those guys but i love him. ...
A. 5 March 2007: It`s a shame you gave yourself to nine guys you didn`t love, but if your boyfriend is cool with that, then that, I think, shows he must care for you a lot, as this would put a lot of guys off. I hope that this guy you really DO care about.I agree ... (read in full...)
How do I have sex with a girl and what do I have to do?
Q. I am bi sexual and i fancy a mate but i am not sure just how to have sex with a girl please help how do i have sex with a girl and what do i have to do?...
A. 5 March 2007: I was just about to type a reply, when I noticed your age, 13-15. Bi sexual or not, I presume you`ve done your school homework before logging into this site? Heather.... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking about someone from work?
Q. How do I stop thinking about someone at work. Once in a while I think she is interested in me, but then I convince myself it is my imagination. There is no real chance of any relationship because she is straight and living with the same guy for at ...
A. 5 March 2007: Well you can`t stop yourself thinking about her, but you could certainly try to get thing in perspective. Yes I agree, you are becoming too fixated on this. As you have said, she`s been with her guy for five years, so unless she`s been giving you ... (read in full...)
My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants!
Q. My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants. My wife has been hanging out with this guy for a little under a year now. They regularly hang out with a few other people on Thursday nights to watch TV/movie...
A. 5 March 2007: I understand your concerns; I don`t think there is any hidden agenda from your wife`s side, but I can see what you`re saying about this male friend of hers. Although it could all be innocent, yes, he may be making a play for her. I think, as she`s ... (read in full...)
i seem to have man boobs, is this normal and does it go away when you lose weight?
Q. dear agony aunts im the guy that previously posted about my parents arguing because of me. i would like to give you guys an update and say that they worked things out this morning and started talking with each other. my other problem is, i se...
A. 4 March 2007: Before you go on any diet or fitness regime, please check with your doctor first. He may suggest gentle excerise to start with, before building up toward muscle toning & strengthening. If you need to lose weight, please do it gradually. When you`ve ... (read in full...)
She has been unreasonably jealous since our relationship started over 3 years ago. Is this normal?
Q. She`s admitted looking through my phone,accused me of hiding things in it,accused me of looking through her phone. I am baffled to what is going on. Why would someone class her phone as privacy then look through mine? Am i being petty here or am i ...
A. 4 March 2007: What are you doing on Date, Text & Flirting Sites to have come across her profile? ... (read in full...)
How do I go about asking my ex girlfriend out again?
Q. how do i go in asking my ex girlfriend out again?...
A. 4 March 2007: Like Kenny says, without more details of the situation, it`s hard to give advice! If you would still like us Agony Aunts to try to help, please write in again, Kind Regards, Heather.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for your feelings for your significant other to fluctuate?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and I am wondering is it normal for your feelings for your significant other to fluctuate? One day I feel madly in love with him and cannot wait for him to come home from work, while other days ...
A. 4 March 2007: It`s normal for feelings to fluctuate; as we all get on each other`s nerves at times! You obviously love your boyfriend a lot, and that`s why you`ve wrote in. You haven`t given your age, and I can only guess from what you`ve said that you`re still ... (read in full...)
He views it as insecure and jealous, I view it as sneaky and dishonest! What do you think?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 mos. Early in the relationship I told him some trust issues I had and what effected my trust in a relationship. One was "baggage" brought into the new relationship. Issues with old lovers/gf's that ...
A. 4 March 2007: You say the other day you used his phone, presumably to phone or text; I`m not aware of any phone that shows numbers dialled & recieved without being searched. Like the "Eavesdropper who never hears anything good about him", you have found something ... (read in full...)
I don't love my wife and I am having an affair but do I stay for my children?
Q. Do I stay for the children? I have been through 7 months of hell. I am married and have been for 5 years. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Problem is that i dont love my wife. I am in love with another married woman who is 7 years older than...
A. 3 March 2007: You need to get your "head together" ASAP. If you split up with your wife you still have visitation rights, which can be quite generous. You don`t love your wife, but don`t want to hurt her? You already have. By staying with her "for the children", ... (read in full...)
My bf's mom and older sister hate me for getting pregnant w/ my guy!! Help!
Q. I am 6 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend's mom and older sister really hate me. They are angry at my boyfriend for getting me pregnant. ...
A. 3 March 2007: Erm, as you give your details as a male, I don`t think you`re pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Would a guy waste time talking to a girl online if he just wanted to be friends?
Q. Okay so I recently signed up for an online dating site. I met this guy, we added each other to msn and have been talking everyday for about a month now. We have talked some days for 7 hours! We have a really good time talking to each other, and we ...
A. 3 March 2007: He may just want to be friends, or he may be dreaming of meeting a lady to share life & love with, but be very shy. It sounds like you really get on well together, have you exchanged photos? As he`s on a dating site, I hope he`s single, and just shy ... (read in full...)
He told me in an argument that he made plans to have sex with another girl but he just couldn't go through with it!
Q. Dear cupid, I have been with my boyfriend about three years now, the other night we got into a heated argument about how it is heard for him being a 20 year old guy and staying faithful and trying to resist temptation... well this lead to him...
A. 3 March 2007: I think the fact you said that it was said in a "Heated Arguement" will probably explain it. Sometimes, when we row or argue with our partner, we say bad things. Sometimes, when we row or argue with our partner we say Awful, Hurtful things in the ... (read in full...)
He always hangs out with the popular girls but I want him to spend time with me. What can I do?
Q. i have a crush on this boy at my school he is really hot i have always wanted to ask him to skate but he always skates with the popular girls i dont know what to do i am 11 years old is it to young to like someone so much if no what do i do?...
A. 3 March 2007: It`s Natural to have a Crush on a guy you really like, and to feel that "Butterflies in my Tummy" Feeling! I understand how you feel; and by making it obvious to him, you may run the risk of rejection, which will hurt you. How about polishing up on ... (read in full...)
I love him but dont want to drag him into my depression!!!
Q. hi I am very stressed, my boyfriend and I had a fight this evening and he wants a few days apart to think things over and see how we both feel. The reason for the argument was that i expressed my concern that i was holding him back from the re...
A. 2 March 2007: If I were you, I`d give it a couple of days; a bit of "Breathing Space" for the BOTH of you. He obviously loves you a lot, and is very patient with you, and you appretiate this. Depression is Awful; and people who say "You`re Lucky", or "Pull your ... (read in full...)
I bought her some Valentines gifts but things didn't work out between us and now I don't know what to do with all these gifts. Any suggestions?
Q. I bought some gifts for my valentine. on the day we disagreed and I have given up on her love because it looks like she will never express her love to me. the question is what do I do with the presents. I cannot return them as the store wont accept ...
A. 1 March 2007: Well you could always give them to me! Tee Hee, Only Joking. I`m sorry things didn`t work out with your chosen lady, life can be hard at times. I agree with CD, it may be a good idea to give these things to charity. It will get these Items away from ... (read in full...)
For 3 years I have lied to him about my age and surname! Should I tell him the truth?
Q. can someone help me? Not only have i lied about my age, i lied about my name.. i'm so ashamed of this... so can someone please help me!? Well i met my boyfriend 3 years ago when i was 17 turning 18, he asked me how old i was and i told him that ...
A. 1 March 2007: I think you already know the answer to your question, I think you just need some back-up and support. I think you know you have to tell him, but you`re scared, understandably so. With this sort of situation, the longer it goes on, the harder it ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 28 February 2007: Gosh! I think this is my most difficult one yet! But I won`t be Beaten!!! I am Determined to come up with something that may Help! I appretiate you tried hard at a "Normal Conversation" in the morning; but perhaps this put you both "On the Spot" a ... (read in full...)
I'm sticking with it for now to avoid being on my own, what shall I do?
Q. Help! My partner and I have been together for nearly 5 years. We used to have a good time together but over the last 6 months my feelings have changed and we've really drifted apart. I have a son who's 11 from my previous marriage and he has two ...
A. 27 February 2007: I agree with fallenman, you already know the answer. I think you just needed to hear it from someone else. That`s the beauty of this site, you can pose any question, and get quick, unbiased answers back, which we all do our very best with! Asking ... (read in full...)
He has a new girlfriend that he works with but still calls me, now I don't know where I stand.
Q. My ex and i split about 2 months ago and recently we decided that we should meet up because we both felt ready. We ended up getting on really well and he was ringing me all the time and told me he still loved me. However he has a new girlfriend who ...
A. 27 February 2007: Given your age, I would personally find someone else, You`ve got your whole life ahead of you! I can`t tell you what to do, I can only advise, but I would move on. I`m sure you`ve got friends, who it would be good to go out with; and friends ... (read in full...)
He doesn't trust condoms and I don't like taking medication including birth control pills. How can we combat this?
Q. when my boyfriend and i are messing around to the point of possible sex, it always ends because he doesn't trust condoms and im not on birth control. he has asked me before if id think about going on it, and i have thought about it, but the more i ...
A. 27 February 2007: I think it would be a good idea to visit your doctor / family planning clinic for advice, as there are lots of options. I understand your concern with medication, as I am reluctant to take any pills myself unless it is a life or death matter. ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my fear of exams?
Q. i have a fear of exams i have done since secondary school and i have exams this week in college and im scared. when i sit to take the exams i freeze up and forget everything and i cant concentrate everything i hae revised disappears. people just say ...
A. 27 February 2007: When People say "Just Relax", you can`t; in the same way that when people say "You can`t miss it" when giving directions, you know you will miss it!. Although it`s obvious to us, that you can`t "relax, hey, who cares", others are cool with it; maybe ... (read in full...)
Been with him for 4 years but the chemistry has gone. I feel as if I'm out with my mate or brother.
Q. Hi I've been with my current partner for just over 4 years. I was married previously and I knew him as a friend when I was married. We got together not long after the split from my husband and we seemed to have loads in common. Our combined kid...
A. 27 February 2007: Could the problem be you two got together soon after your marriage breakdown?, without there being enough time to heal before moving on? I guess after 4 years, if you are only feeling "sisterly feelings", then yes, perhaps it`s time to reflect; and ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 27 February 2007: It was Great to hear back from you! It`s always lovely to read a Follow-up on Questions we tried to help with, especially when we mere mortals have been of some help; which wasn`t the case here!! I guess you`ll be buying that walkman then! Seriously ... (read in full...)
He seems more interested in this other woman (who's married) than he does me!
Q. The man I have been dating seems to constantly talk about a woman he works closely with. Although she is married with small children, he seems interested but doesn't persue becaus she's married. He seems to find every opportunity to talk about her ...
A. 27 February 2007: He dos`nt want his colleagues to know he`s dating you? No, you are not being insecure. What is this man up to? I have no idea, but it`s Not Good. You haven`t said whether you work with him, but I presume you do from what you`ve said. If I were you, ... (read in full...)
Went to a party, got drunk and went overboard with another guy! How do I tell my boyfriend what I did?
Q. okay. so i'm completely inlove with my boyfriend. we've been going out for six months. right now he's in the airforce; basic training, and he's been gone for 3 solid weeks, and 3 1/2 to go, at that. i havent talked to him or seen him. i miss him ...
A. 27 February 2007: I think you`ve learned a valuable lesson here. Apart from the fact that you give your age as 13-15, which given what you`ve said in your message is concerning enough, only you can decide what to do, we can only advise. You said you went to a party, ... (read in full...)
I like this guy and have been out with him once, there's only one problem.... the EX!
Q. OK, so there is this guy that I really like, and I know that he likes me! But there is one little issue, the exgirlfriend! We did go out to dinner once already and had a great time! He is friends with all of my friends and that is how I know that he ...
A. 27 February 2007: Could you give us some idea what these "ex girlfriend issues" are? Kind Regards, Heather.... (read in full...)
I don't know if he wants to get to know me or if he's actually just after one thing!
Q. I am looking for a relationship. Not a serious one just a relationship involving 2 people who are comitted to each other and have fun. I am currently getting to know this boy, but i am not sure of his intentions. He has just come out of a 2 year ...
A. 27 February 2007: nicola79 gives excellent advice, you`ll only know if you go! He certainly dosn`t sound like a womaniser, but it could give you peace of mind to meet in a public place for the first date, and don`t invite him in for coffee, or vice versa. If all goes ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 27 February 2007: I agree with Ponungalungb, this man sounds like bore of the year! only he dosn`t seem to realise it! I think that`s where to start, by making him understand that his constant droning isn`t as enthralling as he thinks it is. There`s no need for a ... (read in full...)
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