Is it just looks men care about?
Q. Do men ever think highly of women for anything other than how the look. My partner never seems to give credit to any woman based on anything other than her appearance and I've been thinking that this actually seems to be such a common thing when I ...
A. 11 February 2017: More men than not have the intelligence and depth of character to look beyond pure looks- equal to physical attraction... Your bf doesn't seem to have a lot of depth/ intelligence or decency if the emphasis on looks clouds his vision of what m... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret dumping a nice guy for a jerk?
Q. my question is do women, ever look back an wonder? they have been in a relationship for a while and the guy isn't very nice to them, not a gentleman or romantic, before him they were seeing a guy who was, but he wasn't a challenge,they thought he ...
A. 10 February 2017: I think you're really categorizing here. There are some massive jerks out there but the rest of them are just normal guys with good ams bad traits, like everyone else. Like others said people that brand themselves as "nice guys" are often masking ... (read in full...)
He makes no effort except when it's the weekend and time to meet! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 8mths now. We see each other saturdays and sunday nights for a night out due to family commitments and we have great fun together. What started out as Saturday fun has ended in a 'relationship' of sorts which he pushe...
A. 9 February 2017: Some men can be lazy/ have too many commitments, hobbies that keep them busy- if he doesn't text you every day it doesn't mean he doesn't love you as a rule. HOWEVER the fact he doesn't make an effort to compromise on your needs is one red flag-... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 8 February 2017: After reading your last post he sounded quite controlling, this guy has SERIOUS ISSUES. You're so young, you're at uni- guess what you have FRIENDS. People that want to go out with you, your uni males/ females want to KNOW you because they lik... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...
A. 8 February 2017: I'm sure if you look back at your past there will.be many things you feel shame over... Things you wish you never did. Not saying that bit of experimentation is wrong but EVERYONE HAS A PAST. And most people, particularly those that partied a lot ... (read in full...)
He's verbally abusive. Consequences of leaving him concern me. Why do I seem to have the worst luck with men ? ??
Q. what am I meant to do? how am I meant to feel? what do I do? I ask these questions and I'm not even sure If they are the right questions to ask!! I have no one in my life that I can talk to about any of this. I'm feel alone and need to feel lik...
A. 8 February 2017: You're in the woods at the moment... Meaning you're too emotionally wrecked and out of touch with what YOU NEED, who you are and very emotionally dependent on him. Read your post back to yourself and take a birds-eye view- He is a CONTROL FREAK. T... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two guys. I'm wondering, what should I do?
Q. Hello anyone out there willing to give me advice. I seem to have gotten myself into a significant amount of a problem. I'm torn between two guys. One my High school sweetheart Man1 whom I went out with for around 4 and a half years. We'd always a...
A. 8 February 2017: At least one of them is going to be hurt, you need to choose the one who your heart tells you to... Who you have that unexplainable passion for.. If you'd happily call them your best friend to spend your days with and there is that romantic LOVE ... (read in full...)
Slept with my best friend, My boyfriend is hurt, help?
Q. My best friend Michael and I always hang out on his bed and play video games, watch movies, listen to music, do work, or just talk. Last night we were just watching tv and taking about past senerios and we hit some that are sensitive to me and I ...
A. 7 February 2017: Do you actually want to be with your bf? It really seems that apart from sex, you basically act like bf/gf with M. Why don't you really ask yourself who you would prioritise/ who you'd rather grow old with It will knock the hell out of your bf b... (read in full...)
Is she trying to brush me off?
Q. I 've been friendly with this girl that I work with.We have few things in common and we've had few good conversations. Her and I like to go to shows at art galleries so one day during conconversations,I asked her to come along to this show that w...
A. 2 February 2017: I hate to say it but some people are flakes. I'm VERY bad at texting back, and could definitely make more effort with people... I'm talking about friends here.im just someone who's forgetful/ absent minded...
Its particularly people I dont kno... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready for sex so he hasn't talked to me for two weeks!
Q. my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me for two weeks..he suddenly went silent after we argued over the fact that I wasn't ready for sex .we have only gone out for almost a month.I like him but I don't want to base my relationship on sex....do I call him ...
A. 2 February 2017: He's not your boyfriend... He's a horny boy that wants sex and ONLY sex from you... It shows without sex he's not invested in getting to know a woman... Please wake up, it's sad but true there are a lot of scumbag users out there, you've been given ... (read in full...)
We're already close. Do you think he is ready to move on and try something with me?
Q. Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men. I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and st...
A. 28 January 2017: I agree, if you're going to be getting physical on a regular basis you owe it to yourself to find out where you stand/ what he's after- a relationship or just something casual.
You WILL get hurt if you go along without finding out. You obviousl... (read in full...)
He left me because I wouldn't have sex with him.
Q. . my partner left me. because i dnt want sex with him before marriage. but he want. thats why he leave me. he switched off his phone. but i love him. . i want to talk to him. i feel alone without him. i love him. i want to die.plz help me....
A. 27 January 2017: When you're old and you both have little sex drive left, the one you want to have sitting beside you is your life partner- your best friend- the one that loves the bones of you, for all you are, all your imperfections, wouldn't hurt you to save ... (read in full...)
I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...
A. 27 January 2017: You KNOW he's a cheat and like Youwish said he's going to keep cheating the longer you LET him get away with it. You need to get it into your head he has no decency, morals and CONSCIENCE. that he's sticking around because plenty of people stay i... (read in full...)
Trust issues. Is it just my anxiety or should I be worried?
Q. This is a little bit of a long story. My boyfriend used to be in a band, and is still in contact with a girl who was really into them. She lives really really far away, and only knew about them because a band member was planning on moving away t...
A. 22 January 2017: He should definitely be prioritising you if the relationship's so serious you're thinking about living together... That means hearing your concerns and not CARRYING on SECRETLY messaging her when he knows how it makes you feel... Given that he knows ... (read in full...)
Is it my fault I got put into the FWB category?
Q. I've always been a woman that holds myself with dignity and believe that I have a lot to offer a man in a relationship. I am in no way saying this to brag or boast myself but my personality has always shined and others have told me so as well. ...
A. 20 January 2017: I guess that maybe atm his gf isn't giving him much/ enough sex... Or he has a problem with monogamy...
You see it"s not a reflection on you- he's a cheating user. He doesn't seem to think a great deal of anyone- this gf he's cheating on isn't th... (read in full...)
Why won't my friend admit that he is married?
Q. Hi, Aunts! Of late, I've been speaking with one of my friends who is married for 2 months now. The issue is that he has fallen for me and won't even accept or acknowledge his marriage, when I already have seen their pictures (why would he lie to ...
A. 19 January 2017: He sounds kindof rapey/ sexually aggressive.
Any decent guy takes NO for NO. Pestering women for sex is kindof a sign he's a sex pest.
I agree with cindy, scrrew civil friendship, have nothing more to do with him and threaten him with police ... (read in full...)
He lacks a stable job and a career so I'm breaking up with him. Am I not openminded?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've put a lot of consideration into this and I've decided to break up with my boyfriend. It's not that we don't get along - we get along rather well and have a great time together. He is positive I will be his future wife and has info...
A. 19 January 2017: If you genuinely think that he's gonna be like this forever, he is eventually guna keep sponging off you, living with you, hoping you pay his way... because he thinks you're both happy with that set-up and he's lazy?
I think although you care/ lo... (read in full...)
Shall I tell him? Do I let it out or just walk away without saying anything ?
Q. Do you tell the person you love that you have feelings for him ? Despite the fact he is not that friendly to you and never indulges you in their personal thoughts and life ? I have been thinking about telling the guy I love that I loved him but ...
A. 19 January 2017: Well you're guna face rejection at some point in your life, so if you experience it young maybe it will make you stronger. Honestly if he isn't friendly and engaging with you, he probably isn't interested, sorry... it happens to everyone, no matter ... (read in full...)
Is he using me? He's spending more time with his ex than he spends with me.
Q. I'm going out with this bloke on and off for over a year now, but what gets to me is he spends most off his time at his ex's house. He says he's there for kids but half of the time the children are not there. He leaves at 8:00 in morning and ...
A. 19 January 2017: Dont listen to the last female anon, telling you to stick with him... that's BS.
HE'S CHEATING ON YOU. I thought at first maybe he's just a cheat with very low morals, but the suicide talk is MANIPULATION. Look at his actions- not his "words" ... (read in full...)
Should I end things? Boyfriend's friends are vulgar and rude
Q. Should I end my relationship?. My boyfriends friends make disrespectful comments , such as saying "get them off" to me ( meaning my underwear ), and asking my boyfriend if his finger has been inside me ( you know where ), and making gay rumours up ...
A. 19 January 2017: Mature people form friendships on similar values/ qualities and interests... he clearly sees eye to eye with these pr**ts and is of a similar character. This is clearly how they usually carry on. Think of your friends.. they wouldnt behave l... (read in full...)
Is he using me? He's spending more time with his ex than he spends with me.
Q. I'm going out with this bloke on and off for over a year now, but what gets to me is he spends most off his time at his ex's house. He says he's there for kids but half of the time the children are not there. He leaves at 8:00 in morning and ...
A. 18 January 2017: A user? This guy is callous! Where's your sense?? Running off to his ex EVERY DAY when the kids aren't even there?? Its staring you in the face He THINKS you're weak and stupid enough to pull the wool so close to your eyes. NOT a nice guy. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my current Gf to trust me? I've not cheated on her. But I did cheat on my ex.
Q. I cheated on my first love two years ago with my current girlfriend. I broke up with my first love to set her free from my cheating ways. I still love her and check her social media accounts to see how she's doing but I never told her I cheated wh...
A. 18 January 2017: Sorry pressed post too early.
She honestly sounds like a sociopath. And you're a cheat. You were both happy to cheat back then and now you're stringing her along.
It just sounds like a hurricane meeting a volcano. I honestly would break this... (read in full...)
He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?
Q. What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...
A. 16 January 2017: Your partner should be there for you when feel down- not KEEP you there, for his own emotional/ power kick.
This guy is NOT a nice person. You're not stupid and you know this deep down... Because he's trying to constantly break you down and make... (read in full...)
How can I reason with her?
Q. My girlfriend of 4 years always avoids conflict so we don't argue. That is annoying considering we stay silent rather than face solutions. For example it's New Year's, she is working at her Xmas party till midnight. Because she is working I ca...
A. 16 January 2017: Tbh I think she needs to start acting like an adult from the sound of it, like she needs a kick up the a^^^... The question is HOW have you managed to sustain a four year relationship with such POOR communication... arguments make a relations... (read in full...)
Am I reading this situation right, or am I over reacting?
Q. Please help me understand if I'm overreacting. Here is some backgrounds, I'm 40, divorced, have a kid and started dating online.I don't like to date few people at once so I focused on the first guy that I started talking to. He is 42 single, highly ...
A. 16 January 2017: I agree completely with Honeypie about doing your best to not compare him, bringing baggage along... HOWEVER I don't believe that it's a good sign when you talk about feelings and your partner dismisses it or big red flag- gets tantrummy! If y... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend isn't really committed to me!
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm really unhappy. I feel like he isn't really committed to me, I'll give you some examples. He's messaged other girls behind my back and admitted he l...
A. 16 January 2017: The only reason you've clearly stayed with him for 3years is the FEAR of being alone- not because it's love... You've made excuses for him for too long, and he's kept you around because he's a user twat... He knows he's not capable of a lov... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend hasn't wanted to video chat. Does it mean that he does not miss me?
Q. So far in my LDR, I have been the one to mostly initiate video calls, though we text throughout the day. I have asked for more vid chats, shorter times, but I usually have to ask for vid chat. It wears on me that I usually have to always hint/ask....
A. 15 January 2017: Sorry I think I tailored my answer to phone calls... Tbh I hate video chatting as well.. Can you just mention calling instead... Sure there's just a voice button on video chat ... (read in full...)
What can do, I am still learning how to negotiate conflict in a relatonship.
Q. My relationship recently ended with my girlfriend of nearly a year. There was a falling out at my uncle's wedding where my girlfriend was heavily intoxicated and left the dinner table to vent to a bartender about things she did not like about my ...
A. 15 January 2017: It's difficult to imagine how difficult addressing conflict can be in relationships until you come across it.. BUT its part of any adult relationship... The answer is simple- HONEST communication- the hard part is taking a gulp and truly trusti... (read in full...)
Should I take a step back and distance myself from her?
Q. so I like this girl who is one of my best friends. when we first met we started something it wasn't serious but that ended due to me and hers mental health issues. anyway we stayed friends and we're really close talk everyday, tell each other ...
A. 14 January 2017: A girl who blows hot and cold like that is going to cause you a lot of heartache... it's cruel of her to say something that strong and then do a complete U-turn...
There are billions of people out there to get to know... I advise do keep your dis... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend hasn't wanted to video chat. Does it mean that he does not miss me?
Q. So far in my LDR, I have been the one to mostly initiate video calls, though we text throughout the day. I have asked for more vid chats, shorter times, but I usually have to ask for vid chat. It wears on me that I usually have to always hint/ask....
A. 14 January 2017: Maybe he's socially awkward... if he's one of those blokes that sits in front of a screen all day (my bf talks to his best friends almost everyday just through fb chat :/ )it's not his go to method of contact.
While I do agree with calling ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I can't leave him because he's planned the next 5 years around me!
Q. Have I fallen out of love with him or am i just depressed? Recently i can't bring myself to say i love you to my boyfriend. We have been friends for 3 years and have dated since last May. In October i felt the same way as i do now just feeling dow...
A. 14 January 2017: You "can't" leave him? But he "CAN" cheat on you?? Telling another girl he loves her- while still trying to string a relationship along is cheating. Screw his empty words- look at his actions!! Im sorry but look at his character- the f... (read in full...)
How long to get over a crush?
Q. hello lovely people, I was just wondering how long does it take to get over a crush? When you see them very often. Seriously I'm pretty obsessed about this guy I know for a little over a year, but funny fact is I used to dislike him because he was ...
A. 24 February 2016: This guy is giving mixed signals, signalling he's not looking for a relationship, thats what the "You're like a sister" means, from him, not available- but the sly touches signal maybe he's available for something else... So you listen to that s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is unhappy that I'm watching porn so she retaliated by posting photos of herself on the internet!
Q. Ok I'll get straight to the point. Like most women my girlfriend hates porn. I told her when we got together that I didn't like it either, but recently she caught me watching it. We've now been together for 3 years. Needless to say she got really ...
A. 24 February 2016: I think you need to get real - whether it's you watching "real" people screwing or "real" people looking at her it IS the same thing- double standards! How can you not understand that... ? She feels you watching otrer women, lying to her as a major ... (read in full...)
How we can combat these problems? We love each other very much.
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year. Both of us have had very bad experiences in previous relationships. My ex husband lied to me a lot and treated me very badly. My partners ex's were unfaithful. The problem in our relationship ste...
A. 18 December 2015: Honestly, the simplest answer is often the right one- talk to each other! Be honest about your true feelings always and rememeber a relationship cant last without honest communication.
It might feel like something solid but if you try your har... (read in full...)
My boyfriend suggested an open relationship
Q. Hi I'm a 22 and so is my boyfriend. One year ago, at the beginning of our relationship I felt loved, wanted and I trusted him. I loved giving bjs, he loved receiving them and we had sex several times a day. Now it's a bit different. He...
A. 18 December 2015: If staying in this relationship is TRULY what your common sense and instincts are telling you to do, you really need to get therapy- but theyre not are they??? You're doubting your right to be valued and appreciated as a woman AND a PERSON because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend suggested an open relationship
Q. Hi I'm a 22 and so is my boyfriend. One year ago, at the beginning of our relationship I felt loved, wanted and I trusted him. I loved giving bjs, he loved receiving them and we had sex several times a day. Now it's a bit different. He...
A. 17 December 2015: You're right, although important sex doesnt, or shouldnt be, primarily what a relationship is based on... what's more important is compatibility (on different levels, including sexual)-respect and love!
All he seems to care about is sex- not worr... (read in full...)
I'm nobody's favourite - how can I cope?
Q. I'm so depressed right now. I'm living in an Asian family who show definite signs of favouritism among son and daughter. My parent are also feminist. They give large portion of their assets to my brother. They prepared his future so well. Sometim...
A. 8 December 2015: Have you ever spoke to them about how you feel? MAybe they are set in their ways and won't try and make a change, but if they are in any way caring people, they SHOULD make the effort to understand their daughter's feelings and problems- whatver ... (read in full...)
Gay men flirt with my boyfriend in front of me and he likes the attention
Q. We have been together a year and a half. We have a good relationship and sex life.He seems attracted to me and he's very physically affectionate. He says he's in love with me and wants to have children get married all that fairy tale stuff. ...
A. 7 December 2015: I agree with janniepeg- Ok a man MAY be flattered if a really attractive man gave him the eye, like anyone would be if someone attractive shows you attention, but he REGULARLY is on the look out for attention from gay men! It likely IS wishfu... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want me and yet he's convinced I'm getting it elsewhere
Q. Thanks in advance for replying, should you choose to do so. This is long and strange and sounds more dramatic than it probably is, due to my natural inclination to ramble on. Here's a bit of background: I have been struggling with extra weigh...
A. 6 December 2015: I think in a relationship when someone takes up lifestyle changes, that aren't so healthy, it might be irritating for their partner, and may for some be a deal breaker. You deal with it by breaching the subject evenly and as tactfully as possible- ... (read in full...)
Guy asked me out, but he has a female friend who worries me
Q. Met this guy recently and he seems to have a major thing for me and recently told me he liked me. His friends say I am his "type" physically and he is always giving me compliments etc. I told him Id think it over and to give me time. He is not my ...
A. 28 November 2015: How much do you like this guy - you say you don't know him well, and in my opinion- look at someone's close friends, cos they must be quite similar to that person in some way... She doesn't sound like good news tbh, and I would question a close ... (read in full...)
I'm married to a narcissistic verbal abuser
Q. I am married to a narcissistic verbal abuser and bully. My husband ostracized me from his children and their mother from a previous relationship. It's like I'm his dirty little secret not his wife. He is always giving me the silent treatment. W...
A. 28 November 2015: I think you're lucky to be able to see him for what he is- and the potential dangers he poses you your young grandchildren- rather than being a broken shell of a woman, unable to say no to him, so take hold of that power and your desire to protect ... (read in full...)
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