A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. He says she’s 100% fine with being cheated on but that’s the dumbest crap I’ve ever heard of. I think she has vaginosis or something like that which causes her extreme pain during sex and can’t even get penetrated. When he tried to take her virginity, she was screaming and bleeding everywhere. He says they can have sex now but based on what he told me, I really doubt it. It seems like everything he says about her is a lie. It’s making me question if she even IS his girlfriend. 3 months ago, I switched states. He’s made me promise to text him every single day no matter what. He doesn’t want to lose touch with me and he said he’ll visit me down here. He’s the only person from my old state who keeps me in touch. He calls me mine and gets extremely jealous when I mention other guys. This sounds stupid, but I really do believe he’s the one. This is the longest I’ve ever lasted with a guy and no guy has ever treated me and said so many sweet things to me like he has. He can even read my mind and future. He knows everything about me and understands me. This is eating out my insides. I really love him, but I’m afraid if I tell him how I feel and make him choose between us, we’ll never talk again. But I want to be his only girl. I dream of it all the time. I was bullied at my old school and barely had any friends, so I don’t know how to talk to people first or to get close to them. Just for once, I want a relationship that actually lasts. And DONT blame me for this. DONT act like before he met me, their relationship was all rainbows and smiles because it wasn’t. Just because they’re in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re soulmates.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo we never used condoms.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2018): You didn't reply when I asked if you used condoms? If you did, maybe you had an allergic reaction to the latex. In any case, you must see a doctor immediately!
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 April 2018):
 OP, go to a doctor. Ask them the questions. Then learn from your mistakes.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 April 2018):
 Could it be a STD?
Yep. But remember Neither us here on DC or WebMD can really diagnose you. SO....
Go see your doctor and get a full STD panel done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI’m soo glad I ended it with him. I feel a lot better; I don’t worry about him or his gf anymore. He really did sum dumb bs. He was really controlling; I wasn’t allowed to do anything with guys without telling him or he’ll strangle me to death. He tried so hard for me to meet his gf. He wanted me to be friends with her and use her to tell my parents we’re hanging out when really I would be with him. I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to do something but wasn’t strong enough to do it. I should’ve done that a long time ago. Everytime we had sex, I had itchy bumps which developed for a few hours afterwards all over my body. They went away after a couple of days, but they were embarrassing because they were on my face and chest. Nothing ever affected my genitals, tho. I also wanted to ask about that. Could it be an std, allergic reaction or what?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 April 2018):
1) Ignore the guy; it's manipulation, not genuine.
2) Don't date at work; if it ends, it's likely you'd need to move jobs. Not fun.
3) Slow down. Take time to be single.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 April 2018):
 Don't let him back in, you know he's a scumbag. You'll be the one who's upset if you do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEver since I ended our “relationship” or whatever it was, he’s been acting real sweeter. Idk if he realized what he’s done or if he’s trying to manipulate me. I am in progress of making a new friend and I do have a little crush on a guy at work, but it’ll probably get nowhere. He had a huge smile on his face when he saw me and he asked how i was, like really loud, LOL. Let’s just see where life takes me. Thanks for taking the time to helping me see the truth in my situation.
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reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (28 March 2018):
Be honest with yourself, OP - you were kind of heartless too because you didn't care about how his girlfriend would feel. You can't put all of this on him being a jerk.He's an idiot and a cheater. You don't really want him and, had he offered to be with you instead, you'd probably have taken him up on it and ended up cheated on. You dodged the same bullet you helped shoot at his girlfriend.OP, he manipulated you, but you chose to have sex and develop feelings for him, knowing he was with someone else. I'm really sorry you're hurting, but I'm not sorry you're dealing with these feelings, as you knew what you were getting into with him.You will date many guys in the future, so stick to single ones and, for the time being, stay single too. Take time for yourself. Do things you enjoy. Spend time with family. Cry.It's important that you acknowledge your part in this (to yourself) or you'll continue feeling like a victim, when you were aware of his girlfriend, so it was a choice. Once you accept your part in it, you can deal with the hurt and move on.Give yourself time. Distract yourself. Keep him blocked and nowhere near you. You can't trust him.
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reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (28 March 2018):
 *support fromr family/ friemds. I hope you have a loving family. There is always the school counsellor if you really feel you can't talk to your mum or anyone right?
Take care of yourself and binge watch some comedy TV!
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female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (28 March 2018):
Heartless? Well you hit the nail on the head- his feelings don't come from his "heart" at stage he's at. He stayed with HER because she TOLERATES his bad behaviour because she's either too naive or dense to see him for what he is. She's useful to him because she puts up and shuts up and gives him a sex on tap pass as I mentioned. That kind of woman is hard to find. YOU stopped being that woman when you wised up.
99.9% it's not just you he cheated with. And despite what we said maybe she IS aware of what he is and she's in denial so she pretends it's not happening. Or she has such low self esteem she LETS him do whatever because she doesn't feel strong enough to leave him... THAT kind of girl is exactly what he wants.
Do you have any close family who can support you? Going through a break up is hell without loving supporg
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 March 2018):
"why so heartless?"
Because he GOT what he wanted from you. And because he didn't REALLY care on the same level as you did. He KNEW which words to USE on you to get you to agree.
Now that you are "making demands" and trying to take some control back he drop you like a hot potato. Because? He doesn't care on a deeper level. Because he doesn't want YOU to tell him what to do. And to MAKE you feel like shit.
Which is why you NEED to cut all contact and block his sorry bum. Don't GIVE him any more power over you.
Learn from it, chalk HIM up to a mistake. That is ALL he is.
In all honesty, it might be "easier" to get over him, knowing how cold and calculated a prick he really is. Even if it hurts.
Do better next time you look for a partner. Have a HIGHER standard. You can do SO much better than this dingle-berry.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (27 March 2018):
Okay, let's break this down.
1) Yes, you are partly to blame.
2) No, you are not a PoS.
3) You would never be his "one and only" because he will be a cheat until he grows up.
4) Cutting him off completely and not letting him visit you is a smart move.
5) Cry it out. Accept your fault in it, but also accept that he lied to you.
6) Learn to acknowledge that it was bad for you.
7) Remember that you are very young and will have plenty of relationships. Use this one as a reminder not to get involved with guys who aren't single or to have sex before you're in a committed relationship for a few months.
8) CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL. BOTH at ALL times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat really hurt me was that he didn’t offer to break up with her so I can stay with him; but he didn’t even do that which shows he never cared and when i told him it was he said “i told you that when you catch feelings it will be over” why so heartless?
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reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (27 March 2018):
You are NOT a POS. You are young, hormonal, emotional, misguided and still trying to find yourself. You were caught in his trap that most of us could easily have fallen into at your age. I know our words were harsh but we just wanted you to realise the difference between right and wrong- and don't feel bad- the amount of people on this site that are 35+ 40+ that go with other people's partners is shocking. Honestly THEY should know better but because of your age and the mitigating circumstances it's pretty understandable.
Honestly? When I was 16/17 there was a teacher that I was mad about. He had a wife but we always used to flirt. He even used to follow me when I got the register into this tiny mail room and chat/ keep catching my eye! I was socially anxious inexperienced and had a couple of friends in the whole year.. you can imagine how flattered, exciting it was for me. N ya know if he came onto me who knows that's probably been the closest I've been to an affair. I was too chicken to do anything I think.
Now if I found myself in that situation at 26 I would flat out turn him down- I would never go there. The point is that you live and learn, you develop as a person as you grow older and learn from your MISTAKES. You are SO incredibly young and lonely- that makes you vulnerable. You were mislead into making a mistake. But you're doing the right thing- there are people 20 years older than you NOT having the COURAGE or conscience to do the right thing
As for her being better than you? By your own logic, why would he ever have strayed from her if he cared that much more for her. He doesn't. He's with her because she is likely naive and doesn't realise how many times he's likely cheated on her- being in a relationship gets him the SEX ON TAP pass.. or in case he's too lazy to go out and find some new skirt. She's convenient and he's too morally bankrupt and lazy to break this useful habit- that's what he sees women as- utilities to use. She's probably a lovely naive young girl like you, but a lot more naive to not spot red flags.
You need to realise your self worth. Now's the time to throw yourself into something you enjoy or even want to do as a career. Well rounded HAPPY people have hobbies or passions that fulfil them.. you need something to centre your mind away from him. He's like junk food/drugs, you get addicted to it but it's no good for you.
You have your WHOLE life ahead of you! What another 70 80 years probably? I wish I were your age and I could go back and make better choices. Focus on what you love and work on your A Levels to go to uni- you'll have a blast. And these days it's hard to compete without a degree in so many fields.
Your life and your future is what's important. And this pain isn't anything to do with you or her, it's all about HIM. Block him so you're not waiting for his text/call and say goodbye to bad rubbish. He is the POS.
Cheer up, and take care!
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reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 March 2018):
You are YOUNG, OP
And BOUND to make mistakes - this will not be the only mistake you make in life. The think about mistakes? If you LEARN from then and do no repeat them, the mistakes are a lesson in life, not something to regret and beat yourself up over.
But.. WHY on Earth would you even want to be "his"? you really think you can find better than him? You think because you had your first time with him you somehow HAS to have him?
Let him go. Focus on you. Your life. Your education, your family, friends, hobbies and work (if you are working)
Don't COMPOUND the mistake you made when you trusted him with your body by dating him! Because you know... You can't trust him. And he will DO to you what he did to his GF. And he won't trust you either.
Is this guy much older than you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him that I want to only be his and I’m done sharing him - I feel like a fool for being emotional! I’m just a dumb fool and POS!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just cut him off. He said that he knew I would do this someday and won’t stand in my way. He said he’ll visit me. He didn’t even mention breaking up with her. He vents to me about how mean and aggressive she is to him; why would he stay? She’s better than me. I’m not good enough for anyone. There’s always someone better than me in the picture. I’m literally crying in school right now and I had to leave class just for that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2018): Take a look at this situation. Who's the winner in this teenage after-school-drama? HE IS!!! Hands-down!
Even worse, his mother is buttering you up; right-along with that player-son of hers! Only to keep you quiet; so your parents don't find-out what her boy has done! She knows you'll be protective of him; because you think they're both so great!
She's as slimy as he is! What kind of mother would help her son cheat on his girlfriend? Why would she help her son break a young-girl's heart; because she can't give him sex?
He's got two females thinking they're in-love, and that he's some kind of prize with a magic joy-stick!
Your feelings are based on a first-time experience, and some carefully-worded sweet-talk to make you feel special. That's only to keep you available and willing for the next time he takes advantage of the feelings you have for him. You'll also keep him secret from your parents to protect him.
Sweetheart, you don't have to go running to a therapist for anything. Save that for the times you feel professional-help is the only way. We're talking about common-sense. Using some self-control.
You are a 16 year-old girl, and somehow this young-man is aware of how hormones flow in young impressionable-females. He knows how to manipulate the feelings of a once virgin-girl! He's preying on your feelings and messing with your head. He's got two for one! Both of you waiting to get your silly little hearts broken! Either that, or pregnant!!! Worst-case scenario, he gives you a sexually-transmitted disease!
You've convinced yourself this must be love. No, it's a guy playing two naive females who are competing with each other to keep him sexually-satisfied! In-exchange to hear him tell them a whole bunch of b^llsh*t about what they mean to him. He doesn't mean any of it. It's all about his penis!
You don't need therapy. You need to learn how to not let your teenage hormones take-over your brain and make you do foolish things over boys. You need to distract your mind, and do things that are fun and age-appropriate for a girl your age. You need to get away from your phone and devices; and think of something other than boys! Like your schoolwork and doing things you like to do that don't require you to take your clothes off.
Your family doesn't have to spend money for therapy. Your parents need to monitor and guide you; while you're going through puberty and normal hormonal-surges! You're a sweet, normal, teenage-kid! Learning about her body and what having feelings for a guy is like.
You need to find something to do with your time other than obsessing over that guy.
You won't mention his age; but he seems far too clever to be as young as you are. I suspect he is older. You've seen him in secret. I don't expect you to admit that. You'll protect him. To break his spell over you; he has to break your heart! Then you will see things for what they really are. I don't like that thought. It's good he's too far away to cause you much harm now.
Hangout with your girlfriends and get boys off your mind for awhile! You have too much unsupervised time on your hands!
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reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 March 2018):
OP, I'm happy for you to message me. I was bullied my whole school life and have only one friend (my ex). Luckily, my ex isn't toxic for me. This guy is completely toxic for you.
You've made terrible decisions that you will regret when the crush wears off. Now it's time to make things right. It's time to block him and not fall for his BS anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): You already have plenty of good answers for your main question, so I thought I'd just say: why don't you try to make some friends at your new school? I'll bet there are some people who feel like you do. Even if you are not very outgoing you can talk to people and make friends. Joining a club or something might help. Or you could probably make local friends online. I don't know, do teens use meetup.com?Best of luck!
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reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 March 2018):
Oh, he got you hoodwinked so good!
The guy is a selfish creep. He has talked his way into your panties and now behaves like he OWNS you.
Honey, if this guy TRULY felt deeply for you, if he believed all the BS he has been spoon-feeding you (like his GF is OK with being cheated on, WHAT a load of utter DUNG or that she somehow DESERVES to be cheated on as they are NOT soulmates - again UTTER CRAP - no one deserves to be cheated on) but IF he actually believed the shit he is telling you (and you are eating up like it's cotton candy not pure BS) HE would have ended it with HER, BEFORE having sex with you. And he CERTAINLY wouldn't CONTINUE to date her, try to have sex with her and talk to you.
Come on. I know you are young but you need to take SOME responsibility for YOUR own actions. For you to say it's OK for YOU to be with this guy because "soulmates" it's such a morally and pathetic cop-out. It doesn't make YOUR actions ANY better, that they are not "soul-mates". It's STILL VERY shitty to sleep and chase after a guy with a GF. No matter what EXCUSE you try and justify it with.
This is not how decent people behave.
Were YOU in her shoes, you certainly wouldn't think this was OK.
If he DOES dump her for you (I doubt it, I think it's more likely SHE will dump him because he is a piece of shit... but I digress) you DO realize that he will NOT be faithful to you either. You don't have some "magical snatch" that makes him all of a sudden a good guy who treats his partner well. No, he will be the same SHITHEAD who cheated WITH you on his GF. IF he is willing to cheat WITH you, he will be willing to cheat ON you.
I will chalk this up to you being young and inexperienced. Most girls go through the "dating or crushing" on a "bad boy". Someone who just isn't a great partner or person. Why? I don't know. But I can say that I don't know many women who haven't had a "bad boy" in their past at some time. These "bad boys" are good for something. They can teach you WHAT to avoid. What NOT to settle for. JUST because you had your first time with this guy doesn't mean YOU owe him squat or he owes you squat.
But you DO owe to yourself to BE a decent human being.
So learn from this who fiasco and learn to set some standards for the guys you she something as intimate with as sex. Don't settle for losers, guy who has a partner.
And remember - WORDS are cheap. He can tell you anything and promise you the moon - however if he doesn't back it up with action it's rather WORTHLESS.
Have some self-respect and want MORE from a guy than to be the girl he USED. There is no "soul-mate" going on here.
USE some common sense. Try it!
You are now a state away from him. Which means it would be VERY easy for you to cut him off and MOVE on. To maybe down the line meet a DECENT guy who can and WILL love you for who you are and not for selfish reasons. Someone who doesn't share his body, heart or soul with another girl.
"Your" guy doesn't give a flying fuck about either YOU or his GF. No matter what he says. JUST look at his actions!
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reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (25 March 2018):
And "they're not soulmates"? Well do you honestly think that out of the billions of people on this earth you just happen to meet him in the same Street/ town as you. A guy who is LYING TO TWO girls. Look at the facts!
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reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (25 March 2018):
And "they're not soulmates"? Well do you honestly think that out of the billions of people on this earth you just happen to meet him in the same Street/ town as you. A guy who is LYING TO TWO girls. Look at the facts!
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reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (25 March 2018):
His gf "doesn't care" he's cheating on her? I suggest you show his gf this post and watch her try and scratch your your eyes out- what would you do if you were her and you read this?? I doubt you'd be "ok with it"
If he was the one what reason would be possibly have to STAY with her? He would have done the DECENT thing and broke it off with her to be with you.
I get your age and your naivety but start out in life with good intentions.. if a guy is involved with someone else he is NOT yours to take.. if it was meant to be you would be together exclusively.
Being a GOOD PERSON is more important than getting what you want regardless of the consequences..if you learn that now you will be a happy fulfilled adult. Right now you are a vulnerable inexperiencd kid. Redeem yourself and LEARN from your mistakes.. this is all he is a mistake.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much guys, this really helped me. I’m really afraid of cutting him off because without him, I will have no one to talk to or vent to, because I have bad days a lot and have so much anger inside me that I need to let it out. I do want to go to therapy or something for it, but my family will never believe it.
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reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 March 2018):
OP, when did you last have sex with him? Did you use condoms for oral and vaginal sex?You know he's had sex with at least one other girl - his girlfriend. Chances are, he's had sex with more than that. Probably unprotected because "condoms don't feel good" or some other lame excuse. It's easier to have sex without condoms, but it's incredibly risky.Please see a doctor. Get checked out, on birth control and buy condoms for future experiences. If you think you're old enough to have sex: - you're old enough to take responsibility and be safe about it- you're old enough to make good decisions, not terrible ones that hurt people- you're old enough to choose boys who aren't cheaters- you're old enough to accept blame for your part in things- you're old enough to see a doctor about sexual healthIt's time to listen to others, OP. You'll get defensive and that's okay, but only if you learn that what we're saying is right and block this guy. He's nobody's "one". He's a jerk and you know it, or you wouldn't be here.Be smart, OP, not stupid. You know this isn't okay.
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reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (25 March 2018):
 Sweetheart, this guy, his "girlfriend" (imaginary or otherwise, whatever) or their relationship are of no concern to me. You, on the other hand, are.
You sound very vulnerable and this guy sounds like a stereotypical manipulator and predator. (Trust me, he can't read your mind or tell you the future. He is just an expert people reader, using ammunition you willingly give him.) You are only 16-17 (a vulnerable age with most young people) and you have few (if any) friends. It is not chance that this guy has singled you out for attention. He has spotted your loneliness and vulnerability and knows he can use and abuse you in any way he fancies. Words are cheap. I do, however, understand that, if you are lonely and he is your first boyfriend, his words will sound like music to your soul whereas, in fact, they should be setting off alarms so deafening they hurt!
Firstly, he already has a girlfriend. Why would he lie to you about her? The fact he is quite open about her shows he has no real loyalty towards you. He is seeing how much cr*p you are willing to put up with. You, in turn, are showing him you will put up with ANYTHING to be one of his women. I am not a gambler, but I would wager all the money I have that he is telling his girlfriend exactly the same as he tells you. Think of THAT next time he is telling you how wonderful you are. And as for the fact she is ok with being cheated on - seriously? Even you admit this is a load of bull. Listen to your gut instinct. You have one for good reason.
If I was your mother, I would be wondering why my daughter had such low self esteem and was so desperate for love and attention that she thought she was not worth better than the first lothario who came along and fed her a cheesy line. OF COURSE he wants you to only want HIM, while he has other women (who knows if the girlfriend is the only other one).
You are young and you will do what you will do. Nothing anyone will say will open your eyes because, for the time being, you have convinced yourself you are in love with this waste of space. Nothing a bunch of strangers says on a forum will convince you otherwise. One day you will hopefully have your eyes opened and realize you are worth so much more. In the meantime, please use effective contraception because, I can guarantee you, a baby is the last thing you want to add to this already toxic mix. And if you have been having unprotected sex, get yourself checked out because who knows where he has been dipping his wick. If you insist on staying in contact with this guy, at the very least keep yourself safe and get out and make new friends.
Sending hugs. So sad for you because you sound like a lovely young lady, if slightly misguided at the moment. I hope you survive this relationship without too many scars.
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reader, N91 +, writes (25 March 2018):
You are not in love.
This guy is cheating on his GF with you. YOU are a piece on the side. He is having sex with 2 girls, one of them he shows off as his GF and the other is you, who I doubt anyone knows about.
He treats you sweet? Of course he does, you're giving him sex with no commitment that's a blessing from above for a boy his age. I just wonder how many other girls he's giving this nice guy act to.
This is a harsh life lesson for you, it's something that a lot of girls will go through in finding out in your younger years that most boys only want you for the contents of your underwear. Believe me, I have been one of these young guys and it is like a competition at that age of who can sleep with the most girls.
You have experienced this first hand now, you know not to do this again. DO NOT get involved with guys that have GFs, how would you feel if someone slept with your BF? It wouldn't be very nice would it? So why would you do that to another girl? Have some respect. DO NOT hop into bed with any guy that sweet talks you, get to know them and their intentions first, let them date you and show their true character when they have to WAIT for any sexual activity, if they stick around they're more likely to be genuine, if they get frustrated and leave they were likely after sex only.
I also think it's very alarming that his mother knows he has a GF and has no issue that hes meeting another girl on the side.
Take off the rose tinted glasses and examine this situation as if your friend asked you advice. What would you tell them? To stop mesing around with taken boys? Use your brain here stop thinking with your heart. This boy is using you for sex and the sooner you realise this the more likely you are to stop this happening again in future. If he truly cared about you he would of dumped his GF first. He is a cheater.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): I had a very similar experience believe it or not but at a much much later age. To make matters worse my first guy (the one I lost my virginity to) was married. Yes you heard that right. Anyway I'm gonna give it to you straight: HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU.He wants to have his cake and eat it to. He gets jealous 'cause all guys get possessive and jealous and don't like sharing what's theirs. But it's not because he loves you, it's because he's being selfish. About his gf, it may be true, it may not be true that he can or not have sex with her. If she's ok with it (which I doubt) or not, you don't know for sure. He might just be saying this to make you feel more willing to have sex with him. He wants to keep texting him cause for him you are a safe person to have sex with.If he truly wanted to be with you he would. He would dump his gf. He would act, not just say he will or give you lame excuses as to why he can't.Yes he was your first and it takes a lot of time to get over that whole experience and let it go. But the sooner you do the better for you. He's just using you for safe and secure sex. Safe yourself the heartache and don't put yourself in that position of the side chick. The longer you're in it, the more painful it'll be for you to move on later (it's been 2 years and I still am in emotional pain since I stayed there for 18 months). Take it from me. Don't do it. You're young, do things for you, go find a hobby, and meet new guys. Trust me, in the end the only person hurting will be you, and it hurts like hell. Don't let him fool you and toy around with you. Sending you a hug.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): I want you read the last few lines of your post and think.
You're wrote for advice didn't you? So before you tell us; we'll tell YOU!
We're the grown-ups with the experience and wisdom. You're just an innocent girl who had sex for the first time. Even though you are a little snarky!
He has a girlfriend. He has not given that girlfriend up. He just wanted to have sex with you; because some boys just like to brag to their friends how many virgins they've deflowered. Yes, they tell their friends! Not all guys, but the ones who cheat on their girlfriends are usually jerks!
No, his girlfriend isn't okay with it. Did she tell you that?
Oh yes, his mom is all nice. She doesn't want him to get into trouble, if he's a lot older than you! She doesn't want your parents to find-out her son is taking advantage of their naive daughter!
Don't be such a smarty-pants that no one can tell you anything. You really don't have a clue about this guy!
He got to be your first! Did you know some guys will do that just to tag you like he made some points on a video game?!!
He gets jealous? So what?!! He's taking advantage of a young naive girl who never had sex before, and now she's in la-la land! One good thing about your age; you'll get-over him in a few months!
Sex is a huge responsibility. I hope you had protected-sex and used condoms. He's some stupid reckless boy having sex all over the place; and doesn't care if he breaks your heart in the process. He could give you a sexually-transmitted disease or get you pregnant!
Okay, you've lost your virginity. That isn't all rainbows and smiles either. They aren't soulmates, and you're not his soulmate either.
Come back down to earth, sweetheart.
Better wise-up kiddo, if you're going try and be an adult!
Falling in-love? Just because he gave you some sweet-talk and gets jealous if you talk to other boys?!! Even though he's not even your boyfriend, but some other girl's boyfriend. He's a player!
Sorry, my dear! He used you! It was a first experience for you. You're very young, so it's normal to fall for the guy who introduced you to sex at your age. Thank goodness you've been separated by distance. You'll meet a nice guy and forget all about him!
If you're going to try and be all grown-up and have sex, you better have safe-sex! Use condoms!
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reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 March 2018):
Bloody hell, OP. You know he's a liar. You know he's full of crap; "fine being cheated on", what a load of BS! Why are you still interested? Why did you let him anywhere near you, especially being your first sexual experience? What a silly choice.Longest you've lasted? HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! You ARE NOT his girlfriend. You haven't "lasted" two seconds because you're not together. He's not "the one" - he's a cheater and a liar. Where is the positive? He's jealous of other guys, but doesn't want to stick to one girl, let alone you.I will absolutely "blame" you for making stupid decisions. I will blame you for choosing to be with him when he's with someone else. Why do your feelings matter more than hers? He's a jerk. You're not a nice person either because you're happy to help him cheat. Why would you want him when he will just cheat on you too?Their relationship wasn't all rainbows, but you are totally to blame - just like he is. Do you really want to behave like a b*tch? This is what mean, horrible people do, OP.What if she was your sister? How would you feel if she was being cheated on? Would it be okay because you're doing it to someone else? NO.Grow up. If you want to make adult decisions like this, then take responsibility for them. You ARE to blame, as is he.He's not "the one". He's a jerk. You're not in love. You're infatuated. You're not together. This isn't what healthy relationships are.I was bullied, OP, for seven years. I have only ever had ONE FRIEND in my whole life (I'm 22). It does not excuse making terrible decisions that hurt other people. It does not excuse pretending you're blameless. You are being spiteful. He is a nasty slimeball.This isn't love. This isn't fair. This isn't what happiness is. This is your fault and his too. Don't fool yourself more than you already are.
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