I'm married to a narcissistic verbal abuser
Q. I am married to a narcissistic verbal abuser and bully. My husband ostracized me from his children and their mother from a previous relationship. It's like I'm his dirty little secret not his wife. He is always giving me the silent treatment. W...
A. 28 November 2015: I think you're lucky to be able to see him for what he is- and the potential dangers he poses you your young grandchildren- rather than being a broken shell of a woman, unable to say no to him, so take hold of that power and your desire to protect ... (read in full...)
I find his smell attractive
Q. There's someone that I really fancy, and I find their smell really attractive to the point that I can tell whether or not they're in a room just by their smell. Is this weird and does it mean anything?...
A. 28 November 2015: Smell is a very powerful sense and we associate it with memory- they say everyone has their own natural smell, that they're not conscious of, and it's released with pheromones like DEnizen said.
Some people have heightened senses, or have one sens... (read in full...)
How can I move on when I still love her?
Q. Hi, I need some advice I dated this girl about 3 years ago. I realy loved her with all my heart then after about 7 months she cheated on me. We never broke up but we never have sex. Since that day I've seen her about 5 times thought we work in the ...
A. 27 November 2015: I agree with Wise Owl- although cheating was the wrong way to escape, it was an escape she needed- i used to go out with a guy that had a drug addiction... i really saw the obsession, it's just an illness that prevents you from doing what you ... (read in full...)
Feeling insecure about the future of me and my boyfriend
Q. Hi, its usually me giving the advice, but now I need some. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year, we did get in to a relationship rather quick, but I don't regret any of it. He really does make me feel special and does take care of me. but ...
A. 27 November 2015: Hold on- he's actually is trying to encourage you going under the knife for his own gain?? He knows you feel insecure, he's nurtured those existing insecurities to the point it makes you upset- pushing his luck right!? When you're really at... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been trying to meet up with another woman
Q. So, I've been in a relationship with someone for about a year and a half mostly online. Up until recently it has been completely virtual. I went to visit him in the summer and we hit it off eventhough he was a bit....forward. Recently (Septemb...
A. 27 November 2015: He tries to meet other women behind your back?? And on top of that he has the nerve to actually intentionally make you feel bad about yourself... He clearly IS a pathetic little man that needs to jerk women around, in order to feel good about ... (read in full...)
He admitted that he only knows two girls who are 'hotter' than I am and they'll be at an upcoming party
Q. Hi everyone, When my boyfriend and I first started dating we were going to a party and I said as a joke "there are probably going to be really hot girls there" because he is very involved in sports so a lot of the girls that are in his friend g...
A. 27 November 2015: There's slipping up and saying stupid things but this is one thing you just don't say to your partner- comparing them to others is truly insulting and hurtful- he must of understood this, a fool must know the effect these words have... Anyone would ... (read in full...)
He thinks I should be flattered by his remarks, which I find hurtful. How should I respond?
Q. I'm really upset about what my boyfriend has said and I'd like some opinions about whether I'm overreacting or not. I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish. For some reason he thought it would be a good idea telling me who else was talking to him w...
A. 23 November 2015: He has a HORRIBLE personality- you know what you don't have to be an on-screen Beauty to be attractive AND have sex appeal- there is so much more to this than looks, research it... I.e. Being flirty, intelligent, feminine, kind and nurturing... All ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to my crush when I have social anxiety disorder?
Q. Okay, I'm going to try and make this short. I like the foreign exchange student, he's absolutely gorgeous, from Italy. Now I don't only like him because he's gorgeous. He seems so sweet and nice, very friendly. But I haven't talked to him, and I ...
A. 21 November 2015: Like Wise owl said, if you know you're socially anxious then you can't just overcome it overnight, you need to talk to someone- although there are different types of anxiety, they' all involve LOTS of negative thinking patterns e.g. Mind reading, ( ... (read in full...)
Am I right in feeling that my LDR boyfriend no longer has an interest in me?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR. We do see each other quite offen though. During the times when him and I aren't together I like taking on extra side jobs in the evenings for a few hours, just so I can have a little extra savings or splurge a bit wh...
A. 20 November 2015: It could be that's he's become very lazy, does he have a job? It's quite common for unemployed people to feel less motivated, and get into lazy habits- he may feel like he hasn't got the energy he knows he needs to put into a relationship...
... (read in full...)
He's being distant and going to spend the night at a female friends that he's slept with before. Should I worry?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together a month now, before that we were good friends. It took him a week or so to come round to the idea of us being together but we made it official and things were good, up until last week. normally we would make ...
A. 20 November 2015: Honestly? I think you should take it back to friends- or aquaintences- After a MONTH he's already being shifty, secretive and uncaring about your wishes! I'm sorry but he is being distant and he's not being honest about why.
You're not overract... (read in full...)
She's dating me but seeing 2 other guys for just sex
Q. So, I have been seeing a lovely woman for about a month. We get on extremely well and have alot of fun,we have tons in common and love nearby. We laugh like crazy and there's never a dull moment or awkward silences. She texts me every day from ...
A. 20 November 2015: She KNOWS how you feel, how you worship her in awe, she just doesn't care that she's stringing you along and messing around with your feelings- because it's she gets what she wants- by kissing you and snuggling up to you she's LEADING you on, just ... (read in full...)
Why did he completely ignore me? He even tried to hide his face, why?
Q. So there's this guy, I have been hooking up with him for a while now and we talk on and off. So I saw him today at school and he was sitting with his friend chilling. I think he had just worked out. He saw me but I didn't see him. My friend...
A. 18 November 2015: Pretty wishy-washy, immature, hot and cold behaviour from what sounds like a pretty immature guy really- let's face it he's not looking for a commitment, looking at your ages. Remember boys mature slower than girls You're young and you, cos he ... (read in full...)
Too scared to leave him alone in case he emotionally hurts me again. What do I do?
Q. I'm stuck in a situation that has me emotionally drained and I feel totally paralysed mentally. So I moved 3 months ago to a new city with my partner.This year has been really tough for me because my partner lied to me, hurt me and completely broke ...
A. 18 November 2015: I completely agree with Wise Owl- you have a lot of talent, ambition and DRIVE which most people dont have- why SELL YOURSELF SHORT for this hack?? To make you this paranoid, anxious and upset, after ABUSING your trust TWICE- means he ISNT wo... (read in full...)
Is it too late for a last goodbye?
Q. I suppose I should summarise. I met him 10 years ago and we started by dating. We were both incredibly young and reckless, not to mention mentally unstable. We were both confused about our sexuality but he has since came out as gay. Somehow a...
A. 18 November 2015: I think if you're TRULY sh*t scared worried about someone, it's natural to tell someone because you feel like you can't save them by yourself... It's not the worst crime! To be honest he sounds VERY angry and still an unstable person with a lot of ... (read in full...)
Should I be bothered? Does he want a girlfriend or a house-cleaner?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We are both in our 30's, never married before and have no children. We live about 40 mins apart. Here is what bothers me. His house is quite dirty from having 2 large dogs(160LBS) inside that ...
A. 18 November 2015: That's pretty crap behaviour on many levels.. 1. That house sounds GROSS..- I'm not even a particularly clean person, I drink out of the same mug a few times but I do clean- even WITHOUT dogs things get dirty :/ What a DEROGATORY comment- tha... (read in full...)
How can I be less self conscious about dating? What could encourage him to ask for a date?
Q. Hello, I'm a very self-conscious person when it comes to dating and relationships. I've never been asked for a date nor had a boyfriend. And everytime a guy gives me signs that he's interested, i end up not believing that he likes me because ...
A. 17 November 2015: You're very young, and this self doubt is normal for anxious, inexperienced people- well at any age people suffer from lack of confidence, low self esteem or things that prevent them from getting out there and going after what they want- you could ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up things my boyfriend does that trouble me without things ending?
Q. How can I tell my partner how I feel or that I have found out things he has been doing , without destroying our relationship? I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and I was seeing him for about 2 months previous to that. We started meeti...
A. 8 November 2015: Seriously?? You can't be serious... 24?? What ADULT says he loves you one minute, while saying he's leaving and taking it all back after the smallest tiff... This guy is:
A. A massive man child that throws a strop when he doesn't get his way, ref... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is on messenger in the middle of the night! Is he on with his ex?
Q. Hello. I would really appreciate advice please. In a long distance of a year. We see each other every other weekend, although this has reduced recently due to difficulties we have had. At times his texts are lovely and others a bit business...
A. 8 November 2015: His behaviour seems suspicious... You don't stay up til 3am on messenger unless you're talking to someone you're very interested in... Would you?
Sorry, but unfortunately I think you've picked a guy who thinks the LDR is an opportunity to mess arou... (read in full...)
My potential fiance has insecurities due to past experiences. Do I wait for her to heal? Or do I move on?
Q. My potential fiance is scared of being hurt and her insecurity is a result of her past and currently refuses engagement. Her mother calls me a great guy and the 'right one' for her and her siblings i get along with. I did not get a chance to meet ...
A. 8 November 2015: I would to think that someone who loved me would be patient and make the utmost effort to alleviate these fears... however it's equally up to her to make the effort to OVERCOME these insecurities, it's not just your responsibility, although you have ... (read in full...)
3 year limbo: close but not together and now there's a new guy
Q. Here's the thing. I met this guy three years ago and we got into a relationship pretty quickly. Longo story short, we broke up after 3 months (he gave me no explanation). Since then we have still stayed close and have been in a limbo stage w...
A. 7 November 2015: Ok... so you're not blinded to the fact that guy a is definitely a nasty piece of work... but you still let yourself be strung along by him like a piece of trash attached to a string... you have more control than you realise- you’re the one who has ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in a job that makes me ill, or resign?
Q. Should I stay at my current job despite it making me ill, or should I resign and apply for other jobs? I work at a small organization, and I am working 80%, and I have a colleague who works 40%. I earn way too little in comparison with ...
A. 26 October 2015: I agree with Ivy blue... it's great for you that-
1. she's gone for a while, so you have some freedom and a BREAK
2. they've asked you to withdraw your resignation- this means they're worried about losing you- you may be indispensabl... (read in full...)
How do I stop liking a guy who hurt me?
Q. Today wasn't great and this year things with guys haven't really worked out. I don't have a story to share. All I ask for is advice to a few questions: 1. How do I stop liking a guy who hurt me? 2. How do I move on from guys and no longer want any ...
A. 24 October 2015: It's hard enough for adults to understand and deal with the emotions/ heartbreak/ rejection of dating/ relationships... let alone a child, which you are, that's a fact. -It wasn't so long ago I was at school, and I remember how everyone was tal... (read in full...)
He hurt me so much, what should I do?
Q. Hi All, I need help.. Last June, I was dumped by a guy I thought was the one. By a guy I loved truly with my whole heart. He dumped me a month before our holiday to meet his family. It was a heart wrenching time in my life. Still, due to the fa...
A. 14 October 2015: Like honey pie said, people DO move on at different speeds- he's doesn't seem like a very sensitive or tactful person... People fall out of love sometimes,and you just need to accept that some people act cruelly because they aren't tactful or ... (read in full...)
I can't stay hard when my girl gives me a BJ, help me please
Q. hey guys i'm new here and i don't know where else to go to. i need some advice. i've been in an amazing relationship with this girl and she is the jewel of my life. i have a vast sexual history, however she does not. she is so new to the whole sex ...
A. 14 October 2015: ALL I was saying is if you get too carried away with your own pleasure, you might start to expect her to live up to everything you expect and have experienced previously, whether you realise it or not... Just try focusing on her pleasure more- b... (read in full...)
Is this sexual harassment? The actions of my new boss make me feel uncomfortable.
Q. I have just started working in a new role and have found my boss's behaviour odd. He has asked me whether I am serious with boyfriend, if the relationship is flexible and can be moved around for work, how old my boyfriend is, if my boyfrien...
A. 14 October 2015: I agree that if you lose your cool and are too openly hostile with him, he can give you the boot- he doesn't even have to give a proper reason, he can make any crap up- in the UK, there's practically nothing you can do against an employer if they ... (read in full...)
I thought he was the sweetest guy but.... can anyone help?
Q. I recently got engaged to the most sweetest guy ever, or so i thought. He has recently been diagnosed bipolar and stopped smoking with the help of tablets as he isn't in the greatest of health. But, last few days if I speak to him I am babb...
A. 13 October 2015: I agree with the first poster, bipolar or not, you don't have to put up with this- he sounds like a horrible person using his illness as an excuse to treat you like a dirty rag...there's a difference between having a mental illness and not loving or ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my boyfriend so why why why am I feeling like this about my ex?
Q. Thiz is a very stupid question but how can I stop feeling bad for dumping my ex? I'm in a great relationship now but I just imagine how bad he's feeling and get upset. He was trying not to cry when we broke up and so was I! We were on and off for ...
A. 13 October 2015: Come on, find some more self- respect... you didn't deserve the extremely rough treatment from him, and he DOESN'T deserve anything from you... he actually owes you those five years he messed you around and made you feel like crap... everyone has ... (read in full...)
I can't stay hard when my girl gives me a BJ, help me please
Q. hey guys i'm new here and i don't know where else to go to. i need some advice. i've been in an amazing relationship with this girl and she is the jewel of my life. i have a vast sexual history, however she does not. she is so new to the whole sex ...
A. 13 October 2015: For a virgin, giving a BJ is extremely daunting for her- she's trying her best and does sound like a gem! Some girls just won't do it, and don't expect it done to them either. With my first bf, it took me a while before I actually agreed to giving ... (read in full...)
I had a crush on her now I get annoyed if she looks at me!
Q. Hello, First and foremost, thank you for the responses in advance. There is this girl at my gym that's been coming there for some time now. We caught each other's attention, sometimes we would just start looking at each other at the sam...
A. 11 October 2015: She meets this guy at the gym and just like that she's letting herself be groped by him? I'll tell you one thing, she's NOT a self- respecting woman. She's one of these women who dress to the nines just to throw themselves at men and fill whatever... (read in full...)
Why did he even bother defending himself and bother setting up a time to call me if he wasn't interested?
Q. I was casually dating a guy for a few months but then he started pulling back a little and giving confusing, mixed messages. He ended up disappearing for 2 weeks before I was going on a trip, not responding to any of my messages and he didn't even ...
A. 11 October 2015: I would forget this... he makes up excuses, he flakes out on calling you, and like the last poster said, it shouldn't be this casual after three months... just admit, that maybe you mildly liked each other at first, there isn't a strong enough spark ... (read in full...)
He's constantly accusing me of cheating
Q. I am absolutley fuming! My boyfriend is always accusing me of cheating, and I mean always! I put up with it because I know it's rubbish and he is just insecure. However, tonight we were supposed to go out and have a nice night out whi...
A. 10 October 2015: You're rightfully fuming because it's clearly unjustified BS designed to settle whatever little boy insecurity he has- name calling and volatile abuse is NOT how you deal with insecurities, or any other issue- unless you're a 14 year old maybe... ... (read in full...)
Is there hope of reconciliation, or is she just trying to soften the blow?
Q. Hello. I have a question in regards to relationship reconciliation. I was recently put on break with someone I really do love and cherish. This girl, who will be referred to as Jane, told me that it hurt her to know I was hurt. Now, a mutual fr...
A. 9 October 2015: "You're too accomodating"? That's very vague... I'm sorry that either sounds like an excuse to suggest the spark has died, that her feelings have changed, or hinting about deeper issues in the relationship- like the last poster said, taking her for ... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend will like me when he finds out how poor I am
Q. My boyfriend has a very well paid job compared to me and he has just paid 2 million pound for his new house and we have agreed that each weekend we will stay at each others homes as we live 100 miles from each other but don't know how to explain to ...
A. 9 October 2015: Most people just want a loving, passionate relationship, and if something like riches affect how you feel about the other person, then what would that relationship be worth?! (if he did!)
BE yourself, because like the last poster said, you're n... (read in full...)
My best friend likes the co-worker that I've been flirting with and wants to know if he likes her
Q. Where I work is most females but we do have a few male coworkers. All of whom are either married or a lot older then most of us younger ladies, so when we had a new starter who is good looking, friendly and single, a lot of the girls made a play for ...
A. 9 October 2015: I COMPLETELY agree with wise owl,what an answer!- he hasn't mentioned to you where you two stand, or what you mean to him- you're clearly young, attractive, he saw you when you were vulnerable and jumped straight in there... like a hungry ... (read in full...)
Is there hope of reconciliation, or is she just trying to soften the blow?
Q. Hello. I have a question in regards to relationship reconciliation. I was recently put on break with someone I really do love and cherish. This girl, who will be referred to as Jane, told me that it hurt her to know I was hurt. Now, a mutual fr...
A. 8 October 2015: Well, very few women actually like hurting people- I really think you can't read much into this comment. She cares but if shes just called a break, it's for a reason... I mean feelings dont die overnight, but why has she called for a break? What did ... (read in full...)
Is he interested in me? Stares at me for a long time?
Q. So here is a guy at my uni, he's new to the class. Lately he has been acting weird. He would talk to me and tries to open a conversation, at the break when I'm hanging out with my friends, he would come around and he makes a small talk and also ...
A. 8 October 2015: That would annoy me- and make most people unconfortable, probably why youre blushing and nervous- It doesn't sound like you're really into him... maybe there's something small there on your part, but it's a very forward, almost aggressive way of ... (read in full...)
His parents check on him regularly. But is it too much that he will even answer his cell phone in the middle of having sex with me?
Q. My significant other was in a bad car accident in his 20's. His parents became super protective. So he always calls them and lets them know where he is going, like on trips and when he arrives back home to appease them and ease their minds. I ...
A. 6 October 2015: For me, he would need to understand that's unacceptable- it's just degrading and disrespectful to you- while you're sharing some of the most intimate moments you can share, he just cuts it short to talk to his parents?? It's just not courteous or ... (read in full...)
Do new couples usually have so many fall outs?
Q. Is it normal for a new couple to split up and get back together on a regular basis? My ex can be quite controlling and self centred. He also can have a short fuse from time to time. I notice (from comments on social media and friends etc) tha...
A. 6 October 2015: He sounds like some sort of juvenile- throwing a strop and then shouting about it online- he obviously surrounds himself with people that like drama (he obviously does) so would you even want the drama if they broke up?? It shows he's not mature ... (read in full...)
I want to be popular in college!
Q. hey i am 18 and i am in big problem i have no nice friends in my new college and in my previous college i didn't have friends and people who i talk to won't concentrate much in my talks and many will start talking over me and i feel so alone in my ...
A. 12 August 2014: You're racked with self doubt and low self confidence- and people SENSE this... When you're nervous, wondering what people think of you, you're not focusing on the conversation, people pick up that self doubt and it makes them a bit uncomfortable..I ... (read in full...)
As a friend of hers I feel she should know her boyfriend cheated! Do I tell her?
Q. So this question is not pertaining to my relationship. My boyfriend is best friends with his cousin jon and since being with my bf for 3 years I'm close with jon as well. Jon can be a little untrustworthy and kind of conniving. Jon has been wit...
A. 12 August 2014: Well like you say, she has a RIGHT to know. Yeah it'll cause a bit of a rift with your boyfriend but hes not your best friend- he's your boyfriend's and tbh he's obviously a jerk. You wouldn't want to be her? Your bf won't like it but if he doesn't ... (read in full...)
My anxiety is destroying my relationships!
Q. Hi everyone, thanks so much for helping. I get extremely stressed/anxious over tiny things, and overanalyze everything, whether it is with friends, my boyfriend, or a random person. Generally, my anxiety is unwarranted: for example, if my b...
A. 11 August 2014: Anxiety disorders have a serious effect on people's entire lives, more than people who don't have it, (or those who don't know they have a disorder) realise- and you need to realise that if it's seriously affecting your happiness, you DO go n see a ... (read in full...)
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