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*2DuszJ

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My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!

Q.   Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...

A.   10 January 2018: I agree with the last anon poster. Him being associated with you may bring criminals to your door. I would make this clear to your husband that your family are the thing you'll protect first and foremost. I would tell my husband to meet him ... (read in full...)

Events of 30 years ago still hurt!

Q.   my husband had an emotional affair with my mom, and this went on for four years, as she died in an auto accident. He claims sure was fun to be with and that all they did was kiss, no sex. #1 how could it last for this long with non sex, # how can ...

A.   10 January 2018: 99% of women would not be ok with their partner being incest.. are you sure you were ever ok with it? Were you just too blinded by love and locked it in a little box of denial in your mind? Have either of you seen a psychologist because seems like ... (read in full...)

His email to his brother hurts more than his affair

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...

A.   10 January 2018: Go to the STD clinic too... (read in full...)

His email to his brother hurts more than his affair

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...

A.   10 January 2018: No matter how much you love him HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. What's he going to do next? Turn to physical abuse? Rape you? Maybe not actually because the MENTAL emotional abuse hurts you enough for him to get his rocks off. What more does he need to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition

Q.   Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...

A.   9 January 2018: I'm completely with youwish. You're obsession about her being this trophy wife accessory to show off and *compare* her with other women, the comparing to others is the worst- you're actually CARING what some floozies in the office think more than ... (read in full...)

Why me? Why now?

Q.   I probably sound pathetic but sometimes things get to me and usually I have no-one to talk to because no1 understands. This week I told my boyfriend I would see him this weekend we both agreed (it fits in with us both). I called him. He answered. I ...

A.   25 December 2017: Yeah I'm sorry why me? Does sound pathetic- YOU chose a partner that doesn't give you the respect you're due- furthermore the level of respect you demand from people shows how much you respect yourself.. people that choose partners that shit on them ... (read in full...)

Feeling guilty I missed hen do

Q.   Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...

A.   11 December 2017: If you've already planned trips, it's unreasonable for her to expect you to cancel if it's non-refundable, which usually is. I don't think it would occur to anyone to help plan something they're not a part of tbh.. I will say I would be upset if... (read in full...)

Religion may be the stumbling block for us

Q.   I'm an atheist (born to Christian parents) and my fiancé is Christian. We both want kids. She recently asked me if I was willing to give them a Christian upbringing when they arrive. I want them to make the decision about a deity when they can think ...

A.   11 December 2017: You have very strong views that CLASH with her also strong views.. you can't agree and whichever way it eventually swings one of you will end up resenting the other.. this stuff is causing a great divide,even when it's hypothetical- what's it going ... (read in full...)

Just lost a parent and he’s gone away. Should I break up with him for this?

Q.   Hi All, Just looking for some advice at what is already a confusing and low time. I’ve just lost a very close family member, a parent and I feel like my partner hasn’t been as supportive as he could. I’m not taking it well at all. We were very clo...

A.   11 December 2017: A partner should always have your back- considering that he deserts you and ALWAYS prioritises them over you, even at the heardest time of your life, shows what a disloyal, uncaring dick he is.. I would say if you can't RELY on someone to prote... (read in full...)

Our sexual needs are different

Q.   My girl friend and I got in an argument last night about sex. I get tired it’s me who wants sex. She never starts it, and now she is too tired, because of work, one full time job an one part time job. I realize that, but now it’s the holidays. She ...

A.   11 December 2017: You know that saying, sex happens between the ears not the legs? If you have a good sex life usually and that's CHANGED, that indicates there's something going on in her head- that or she has a medical condition.. there is nothing someone's too ... (read in full...)

Do I owe her an apology?

Q.   Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...

A.   11 December 2017: Yes- you're being too nice. You know how their are so many male "players" out there? Well there's a good amount of female players/ man eaters.. I don't think you've found a great girl here. Look- imagine you were REALLY into a girl (like this one... (read in full...)

My ex's actions make me feel like I was never worth fighting for

Q.   Hi guys, So this is an ongoing problem with my ex bf that has left me feeling confused, angry, resentful, but mostly hurt, and I need advice on how to deal with the situation. So earlier this year, I posted on this website about whether or no...

A.   4 December 2017: He's his own person and we can throw all kinds of clichés at you that will relate to people time and time again. I.e you can't make the horse drink etc. Look if he went out shagging girls left right centre whilst lying to you would THAT be your ... (read in full...)

What do I do and say? His depression is hard to deal with

Q.   I need help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 months and a bit more , and I love him so much but he has depression . I help him as much as I can and I’m here for him all the time but he always complains to me how he feels and I understand that he’s ...

A.   3 December 2017: As another one of gazillions that suffer from depression I want to state that you CAN'T cure him- the only thing that can help him is professional help- and at his age without professional help, understanding and control over his illness, there's ... (read in full...)

He wants me to trust him but he doesn't behave as someone that I can trust!

Q.   Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been seeing my current boyfriend off and on for about eight months now. During that time we have had several breakups. Once over him being too flirty with another girl as I stood by as a ...

A.   3 December 2017: He can't even stay FAITHFUL after 8 months? Well WHY does he deserve your trust? Or one more minute of your time, out of your LIFE? He's a cheat. That's all there is to it. Use your brain, gather your courage and get out now, before he hooks yo... (read in full...)

My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?

Q.   This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...

A.   3 December 2017: This is an insecurity issue.. if someone is naturally pretty and goes out with painted lips and curls, they ARE going to turn heads and shouldn't affect you like this! If she dresses to show off her figure in a slutty way that is going to get her ... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: By the way if a married guy came onto me i would tell his wife what a sleazy piece of shit she's married to... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: You may be young and impressionable but you're old enough to have a husband yourself- how would YOU feel if you were this guy's WIFE?? I tell you if you were how would you feel about him? Guessing you would hate his guts and see him for the JERK he ... (read in full...)

The boyfriend and the friend who doesn't know we're together: I want to be put first for once

Q.   One of my boyfriends friends and I don't get along because of things that happened in the past between us, so we mutually agreed not to speak to one another. My boyfriend tells me that he likes the guy, but they aren't that close. I don't mind them ...

A.   2 December 2017: You're dead right- a true lover will ALWAYS have your back and defend you against poisonous words/ people. He is upholding this guy's wishes and demands ABOVE YOURS-in turn showing you great disloyalty. Closeted? Nah.. There s a reason for the ... (read in full...)

He chose my friend over me but now I think he likes me

Q.   Me and this boy went out for about a month then broke up,he then turned for me for help cos he liked my friend.I got jealousy missed him and told him I love him.whilst he was making up his mind we were making out at mine.he then decided know and ...

A.   1 December 2017: Woah. Cut your actions short.. you don't seem to understand that you're CHEATING ON YOUR BF and that's NOT OK. At any age. This is the thing.. no matter how mature you think you are, you are going through massive biological changes, and your rag... (read in full...)

Should I treat this like I just got out of a BPD relationship or am I going about evaluating this situation wrong?

Q.   I am in high school right now and my first girlfriend recently broke up with me. We dated for about a month and a half and the way she broke up with me was not what anybody does to anybody else. I'm trying to understand and make sense of why this ...

A.   24 November 2017: Mate, look at her health issues.. she's got a LOT on her plate and focusing on school is hard enough, let alone a full blown relationship.. you guys are ridiculously young anyway.. She's been DIAGNOSED with those two conditions- NOT BPD. AS someo... (read in full...)

I'm in a horribly abusive relationship and I need a way out for me and my daughter

Q.   Hi basically just looking for some advise plz, I really don't know what to do or how to. Basically I haven't been happy with my partner we have been arguing lately quiet a lot we have a small child but the arguments ain't in front of her as he ...

A.   24 November 2017: The strength needs to come from wanting to PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER. And yourself while you're at at- she needs her mum. THIS has gone beyond abusive relationship THIS is a survival issue- this man is a psycho and we need to be doing more in this ... (read in full...)

Head over heels in love with my teacher!

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm a bachelor student. I am sorry for my grammar mistakes. First of all, I want to say that during my school and HS years I've never had this feeling before. Last year, I met one of the best persons and teachers in the world. She is ...

A.   24 November 2017: This is infatuation and will wear off. You obsessing is futile, because she's not going to give up the family, the career she LOVES for an infatuated student. If she did start anything with you, it would come out eventually and she would lose BOT... (read in full...)

Lost my virginity and I didn't even enjoy it but now I'm wondering if I could be pregnant

Q.   I just lost my virginity, tbh it was painful and i never enjoyed it at all, according to my friend its because he never did foreplay. Even though i was not satisfied, apparently he was because he came on the inside of my thighs. The cum wasn't alot ...

A.   22 November 2017: It's unlikely pre cum but POSSIBLE. NEVER TAKE THE RISK. Unless you want to be THAT girl with the baby/ abortion See your Doctor for contraceptive advice- yes it does hurt the first time for EVERYONE. But if you're going to be doing this regularl... (read in full...)

I wasn't interested dating because I might move soon but looks like I'm in a relationship now!

Q.   So I am a 24 year old guy who had no intentions of dating anyone, because I did not want to start anything during this time in my life. I started working at a part time job and met this girl who I talked to from time to time, who eventually asked...

A.   22 November 2017: I agree with N91- the first thing I thought when I read your post is how selfish that would be .. you to lead her on when you KNOW it's just "fun" for you.. Listen you have admitted to YOURSELF that due to circumstances it's not really going to... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   21 November 2017: https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   21 November 2017: Of course they really liked each other.. they were husband and wife.. there were obviously GOOD times in their relationship which they wanted to celebrate! In the same way you do when you have a good time with your friends.. pictures/ relics don't ... (read in full...)

I've never cheated but my husband is accusing me off it because he says I am "loose"

Q.   am a young woman of 25yrs I have two children all through c section,av never slept with any other man for the past six years.my spouse is accusing me of cheating because my vagaina is loose he had started an affair outside..am shattered what can be ...

A.   21 November 2017: Not calling you dumb, btw but that's how HE sees you, you'll blindly accept his crap... (read in full...)

I've never cheated but my husband is accusing me off it because he says I am "loose"

Q.   am a young woman of 25yrs I have two children all through c section,av never slept with any other man for the past six years.my spouse is accusing me of cheating because my vagaina is loose he had started an affair outside..am shattered what can be ...

A.   21 November 2017: You're being cheated on and emotionally and psychologically ABUSED. Look into divorce and child support. Your husband is a piece of shit and should NOT be around to INFLUENCE your children. Be strong, find a women's shelter because my betting?... (read in full...)

My confidence is wrecked, I regret telling people the truth about my ex boyfriend.

Q.   I just want to vent about a situation that still bothers me. Basically I had a 6 month relationship with a guy I worked with. He was the first person I'd been with after my marriage broke up. I guess because I was vulnerable and feeling really crap ...

A.   20 November 2017: Don't worry, THEY are not your problem. They have loose trousers and loose morals, and one day, they will get a taste of what they dish.. they might be all lusty and smug now but what goes up must come down.. they're not going to have their ... (read in full...)

Triangle friendship double cross!

Q.   Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...

A.   20 November 2017: Why don't you find something other than bitching about other people to talk about? You're an adult, you're not 14, why not talk about life, common interests, discussions rather than hurtful two-faced talk.. I think if you want Sam back, she need... (read in full...)

Sick of being ignored, what do I have to do?

Q.   I think I give off a “don’t be my friend” vibe, though I say hi and am polite? All my life people have avoided me, socially and socially at work and in group or social events, like I have A flashing sign “avoid her” I was bullied and social...

A.   20 November 2017: Do you have any hobbies, do you take an interest in the world? I think if you immerse yourself in something you find interesting, you'll naturally feel you have more to say, and if you're INTERESTED in what you're saying, it will be natural and ... (read in full...)

Lost my virginity to a man I don't know or like very much

Q.   How do I cope? I recently lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew and i regret it so much.i don't feel innocent anymore. And the worst part of it is i lost to the wrong guy,i always assumed i would lose it to someone i loved so much and it would be ...

A.   20 November 2017: Look, you're VERY young and you made a mistake.. MOST people that lose their virginity REGRET how and with whom it happened.. Take a positive out of this! You now know that sex without love ISN'T for you, that you will say NO to promiscu... (read in full...)

I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?

Q.   I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...

A.   20 November 2017: Honestly.. I think it's basically an insult to yourself, as in at your age you still don't think you can find someone who wants to BE with you and COMMIT to you alone exclusively.. I wouldn't say you're THAT strange, just weak unable to commit and ... (read in full...)

What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...

A.   17 November 2017: Also he probably is addicted to porn but that's just a side effect of his overuse- it's DOESN'T excuse him ... (read in full...)

What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...

A.   17 November 2017: Please use punctuation. It's very simple and makes your post possible to read. Look, you have a daughter so you need to start opening your eyes, and using some common sense. It's normal to find other people attractive, but the difference is th... (read in full...)

I love someone more than my boyfriend. And I cheated on him with the other person.

Q.   So i recently cheated on my boyfriend. This is actually quite a long story but I’ll try to sum it up as much as possible. Early this summer I started talking to this guy, let’s call him James, we’ll james and I hit it off. He was perfect beyond ...

A.   13 November 2017: You break up with Dennis because this isn't just about you- Dennis needs to find the person that wants to be with him as much as you want to be with James.. stay with Dennis and you're not giving him the opportunity to find the love of HIS life.. ... (read in full...)

Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...

A.   13 November 2017: She's marrying you- not your money (right?) £3000 is extortionate IMO (esp. for someone in debt!) £1000 is perfectly adequate- why does she need the spare 2 grand, she has YOU. You may be highly educated but I think you have your love... (read in full...)

My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!

Q.   My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...

A.   13 November 2017: I agree with Youwish.. this is beyond "you're seeing your sister's bf" Seriously? Not only is he after his GF'S SISTER, but under 16 makes you a CHILD- the fact you don't understand what's happening here alone demonstrates that. In most civil... (read in full...)

Is online cheating okay?

Q.   OK! I found out that my boyfriend of 8 years has been going on adult dating sites looking for women to hook up he'd say he hopes they can come over see I'd stay at my daughters sometimes and baby sit. is cheating OK if there's no actual contact ...

A.   9 November 2017: The only reason he hasn't PHYSICALLY cheated (that you know of) is due to distance of the women/ them probably wanting money to travel to him, him just wanting a lay with the nearest woman available. He has shown INTENT. If a woman knocked ... (read in full...)

Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want o be with me anymore?

Q.   My ex of 5 years and I have recently broken up. For a couple of months I noticed him being extremely distant. I'd confront him about it and he tells me things at work aren't good and it's not allowing him to spend time with his son like he use to. I ...

A.   9 November 2017: Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder about something, as that is a surefire way of hurting you and prolonging your pain- it's a very cruel way of breaking up with someone and not excusable unless you did something earth shatteringly bad i.e ... (read in full...)

Relationship started out well but now he's asking for more and more money. Is he using me?

Q.   To cut my story short, I met a turkish guy at a resort during my holiday 2 months ago.We are both muslims and have similar cultures as I am from the middle east, so we seem to understand each other's views and lifestyles. Everything was going smooth ...

A.   6 November 2017: That's daylight robbery, sorry. WHY is it a woman's responsibility to PROVIDE for a guy she just met? I'm guessing you/your family are well off- and I'm sure he's picked up on that. I agree with Aunt Honesty, tell your family ... (read in full...)

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