My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 28 December 2019: Make sure you keep your case worker (whomever is working on Child support FOR your child) on his/her toes. It can take longer if he is in another state, don't give up on it though, it will happen. Took my niece 2 years, because every time they ... (read in full...)
Married 17 years and it's stale and boring in my marriage now
Q. I have been married for 17 years and have two children. Our marriage has become boring and dull. I will suggest we go out to see a movie or a car ride or anything and the answer is always no. I feel that either she has met someone else or has just ...
A. 27 December 2019: You need to talk to her, ASK her if SHE wants to salvage what you got or not. you have made it for 17 years, doesn't that count for something?
If she does, find a marriage counselor/couples counselor and WORK on your marriage.
If she doesn'... (read in full...)
Should I yes or no female coworker
Q. Ok this young female coworker that I work with, we came into the job together so we are classmates if you want to call us that. From the first day we worked together she asked me to rub her feet (didn't do it). We hung out a couple times but she ...
A. 27 December 2019: what you need to do is SHUT down conversations you are not wanting to have with a coworker.
So if she talks about sex, change the subject or tell her you know this isn't an appropriate subject.
It does sound like she has no filter and that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 27 December 2019: Yup END it totally with this guy.
My guess is your anxiety and stress is DIRECTLY linked to him and how he treats you, and how little he contribute to the family.
YOU taking CARE of him takes stuff, attention away from your own kid, IS that wha... (read in full...)
How do I balance 3 young children along with a love life with my partner?
Q. I'm a mother to 3 young children, ages 5,3 and 2. It gets very overwhelming sometimes, as parenting can get but we have fun. I've been with their father for 6 years. Lately it seems to be a bit of a struggle for us to balance this parenting/p...
A. 26 December 2019: Set up date nights for when it fits HIS and YOUR schedule.
MAKE an effort. You might not be romantic by nature (neither am I) but showing your partner and the father of your children that you WANT him in your life in ways HE can clearly understa... (read in full...)
Troubled family relationships am I in the wrong?
Q. Trying to cut a long story short as I just need an outsiders point of view. I have been with my partner for almost 14 years and throughout this time he has a lot of pressure from his parents. Not only that, they make him feel not good enough, he is ...
A. 26 December 2019: No I don't think you are being unreasonable for being upset, however, you CHOSE to make waves on a day that is emotional for a LOT of people, not just you.
You could have decided to walk away from cooking a meal with your partner ANOTHER day.
... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my friend giving money to a man she met online
Q. I’m concerned about my friend. She met a man online. I think it was on Facebook. They have met 3 times, he lives far from her so she travels to see him. He is unemployed apparently. He does ask her for money. I found out she does give it...
A. 26 December 2019: It does sound like a scam.
Have you asked her HOW on Earth they will ever manage being together if 1. he doesn't work and 2. has no way of entering the country on a visa HE paid for?
Have you tried to explain that SHE isn't responsible for ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend inconsiderate or am I overreacting?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles and happy holidays! I have a question and trying to figure out if I’m over reacting. My boyfriend of 10 months was supposed to spend the Christmas afternoon with me, I’m 37 and he is 45. He was invited to his friend’s...
A. 26 December 2019: Is he inconsiderate?
Yes, but more so selfish. He RATHER do whatever HE wants to do then stick to the plan he has with you. Or he double plans because he isn't good at telling someone no, including you. He shouldn't have said yes to seeing y... (read in full...)
I lose my erection when I'm about to have sex!
Q. Hi guys! I am having problem during sex.My penis is tight and fit when i play with my babe but when i want to insert it become lose. what is issue? need your help....
A. 26 December 2019: Do you masturbate a lot? With a tight grip?
If so, you might not feel as much when you penetrate her and thus you lose the erection.
Sometimes a condom can help that, sometimes it doesn't. But definitely worth a try.
Sometimes it's the po... (read in full...)
We rarely have sex and b/f watches brother/sister porn. Does he want to have sex with his sister?
Q. Why does my bf watch porn w/ brother and sister having sex? He gets defensive when i asked him about it. We rarely have sex because he says he's tired but waits until i go to bed then masterbates. Does this mean he doesn't like having sex or is ...
A. 26 December 2019: Does he want sex with his siter?
The answer is probably (I can't be more specific as I can not read his mind) ... No.
It's the notion of something taboo that is a turn on. The fact that the "actors" in the porn are supposedly siblings, that i... (read in full...)
He's ready to break up with his fiancee to be with me but is it the right thing to do?
Q. Hello agony aunts, 7 years ago I was in a relationship with this man whom I met in college. We were so in love however I had to finish my higher education outside the country for 2 years. We were trying patiently to manage the LDR but after I ...
A. 25 December 2019: Do you REALLY want to be with a guy who can so readily toss away an engagement? Another person?
Wouldn't that make you feel like HE could do that to you down the line as well?
I would NOT be the one making this choice, and IF he DOES choose t... (read in full...)
Would I be judged for not wearing a bra?
Q. I would like an honest opinion please I don't find bras comfortable. Would i be judged by men or women if I was to be without a bra in public I'm only small up top and I know it's my choice but even tho I'm small up top, to put it simply, ...
A. 24 December 2019:
I have noticed in American there is this "thing" about modesty for women that has such a double standard, not wearing a bra is one of them. The whole notion of a "training-bra" is SO American. To put bras on girls who barely have begun to devel... (read in full...)
Split for a month and I slept with someone else.
Q. Hey aunts and uncles I am in a real dilemma, I have been with my man over four years,we have had our ups and downs and he often goes away for a few days and ignored me. A few times we have agreed to split and the last time we did was for a month. I...
A. 24 December 2019: 1. you didn't cheat and 2. if you know he will end it if he finds out, you are already on thin ice.
The reason you two broke up, has that issue been worked through?
If not, that thing will be more likely be the reason you two break up.
You... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going away for a month, how do I get through this?
Q. My boyfriend will be going away for a month soon. I can't go. I am worried he will cheat on me. I fear I will not be able to cope with the constant anxiety and stress about what he is doing. Can anyone provide tips on how to stay SANE? An entire ...
A. 24 December 2019: First of all.... Why are you with him if you don't trust him? If you don't trust him THAT is a good reason to end it (IF he has done things to make you know you can't trust him). I mean WHAT is the point staying with someone who makes you feel THAT ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his crazy ex .... I'm wondering if I should just leave them to it.
Q. My partner and I just got back together, and he has female friends and he slept with all of them. This one in particular that he keeps in contact with I really hate her because she was his gf before we got back together and she did some really nasty ...
A. 23 December 2019: I'd probably leave HIM.
This isn't good for you kids, this isn't good for you. The only one getting something out of all this, IS him.
And while I DO agree that you can't tell him who he can be friends with, I seriously doubt HE would be OK w... (read in full...)
My partner spends a lot of time partying with his friends.
Q. So me and my partner have been together around 4 years. For the most part it’s been good. My issue is his time spent with his friends. They get together about 3 times per week. His friends are mostly single and they party. Whenever they see ...
A. 23 December 2019: Is he your age too? (36-40)?
If so, I'd say he is a little "too old" to think partying 3 times a week is necessary, and I would wager a guess that NOTHING you can do or say will change his mind.
He and his friends are stuck in some "teenage" P... (read in full...)
Online dating .... men only seem to want to hook up for sex.
Q. I am a woman in my late 40s nice looking, good figure, no kids, I have just started online dating and I get thousands of likes and tons of messages but never any dates! its so frustrating, the men online just seem to want sex hook ups and they ...
A. 22 December 2019: Well, it can be the sites you have chosen to try (some cater more to hook-up culture than actual relationship) and it can be your profile as well.
Also if it is a FREE dating site you get ALL sorts of people responding to you. The ones who are ... (read in full...)
I feel so low right now, how can I get overmy crush?
Q. So, I've been crushing on this guy for at least 6 months now, I'm almost certain he just sees me as a friend, and I desperately wish I could get rid of my feelings for him and I know nothing will happen. But I've fell for him so hard, I feel utterly ...
A. 22 December 2019: OH, it sucks to really like someone who doesn't feel quire the same way about you!
But it happens.
1. There will be times where YOU like someone and they don't reciprocate and times where guys will like you that you have absolutely not i... (read in full...)
How do I win my AWOL husband back?
Q. Hi I am at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. My husband and I have been separated for years but I’m still in love with him. He won’t divorce me but he’s now moved abroad and aplenty living with somebody. Before he moved away we would meet up ...
A. 21 December 2019: Why have you not divorced after 9 years of separation?
No wonder you haven't moved on! You have had no incentive or reason to move on.
HE - your husband, PUT you on a shelf and moved forward himself with other people. And up until the point ... (read in full...)
Wife doesn't want to move to be with me because of her friends
Q. My wife and I have been together for 4 years. We got married after two years, lived together for a year in our home state, then lived together for another year in Illinois as I attended school for my military career. My wife and I are both quiet...
A. 20 December 2019: Obviously, Anon male has not dealt with the military and that "life-style" - a WIFE doesn't "simply" BELONG to a husband. We aren't CHATTEL. We aren't a doorknob, a table, bookcase or frying pan, that goes where the husband TELLS us to. We ... (read in full...)
I've recently broken up from my manipulative boyfriend, however I'm feeling sadness and jealousy.M!
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've recently broken up from my manipulative boyfriend, however I'm feeling sadness and jealousy. When we were still together, I've always told him that one of my friends is really pretty and I do admire her beauty, he said that ...
A. 20 December 2019: Why is he doing this?
Because he is the kind of guy who gets off from hurting people. Especially, people he can control (to an extend). HE knows that hanging out with her WILL get back to you and he KNOWS you will read more into it than it is. I... (read in full...)
My terrible anxiety is affecting everything!
Q. I am 31 and I just finished working at a salon while training. I'm still attending college in January to finish a few things so not fully qualified just yet. But I have terrible anxiety. All throughout my job I've had moments where I didn't think ...
A. 20 December 2019: Go for smaller places first, maybe even check out a place (visit there) before you write an application.
PRACTICE interviews with a friend.
Do you know what the root of you anxiety is? Did you discuss and work on that? If not, Maybe even talk... (read in full...)
I still want to cross dress but am afraid of losing my fiance if I tell her
Q. Should I tell my girlfriend of nearly 8 years, soon to be married that I used to crossdress, and still wishes that I could?. I love my fiance very much, and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship in any way, but every day I wake up and think ...
A. 20 December 2019: Good for you! OP
And for the future, LEARN from this. HONESTY is important and so is trust. You both showed each other that you can be honest with each other and DO trust each other, so it's good - keep doing that but don't wait YEARS before c... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's snapchats have left me uneasy about trusting her
Q. Ive been with my partner for 10+ years, we have a child together and Ive always trusted her. Recently I discovered she had a snapchat account that is mainly her female friends but with 2 other male friends. I am certain she had some kind of ...
A. 19 December 2019: I agree with CodeWarrior about trust, it's ALMOST impossible to regain full trust of a partner when they have behaved in a manner that was/is detrimental to a healthy relationship.
I also agree that someone guarding their phone doesn't necessar... (read in full...)
Is it okay to remain friends with an ex when you are in a new relationship?
Q. Hello aunts Is it a good idea for a couple to stay friends with their respective ex's if the couple is newly in love with each other but still share a friendship that cannot be given up (not sexual feelings but say mutual respect and care with th...
A. 19 December 2019: I think it all depends.
If you are spending a LOT of time with an ex who is now your BEST friend, I think that can take a toll on a brand new relationships.
If you talk occasionally and DO NOT share "relationship woes" (as in talk to your ex ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that while we were split up I slept with someone else?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend for a few weeks and in that time I slept with someone else, we have since got back together but should I tell him?...
A. 19 December 2019: If the shoe was on the other foot, would you want to know?
... (read in full...)
Co worker was upset I didnt take her advice on a matter.
Q. This lady I work with who said she's attracted to me got upset today after I didn't take her advice on a matter. I teased her about it respectfully and she told me she was mad right after and said 'no one here listens to me'. I told her she was ...
A. 19 December 2019: Honestly?
I would take this as a BETTER start being strictly professional around this lady. If nothing else.
Yes, it might be that she made the presumption that because she "likes" you and you "like" her, you should now listen to all she says ... (read in full...)
Wife doesn't want to move to be with me because of her friends
Q. My wife and I have been together for 4 years. We got married after two years, lived together for a year in our home state, then lived together for another year in Illinois as I attended school for my military career. My wife and I are both quiet...
A. 19 December 2019: It does make WAY more sense for her to stay put of you are going to be there for 6 months, and then deploying right after.
When you say deploy for 3 years, do you mean an overseas assignment? Because I don't know of any units or MOS's that dep... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed my boyfriend will be spending my birthday with his sister instead of me.
Q. Hi just looking for some opinions about this it’s my birthday tomorrow and my partner is at work all day until 4.30 now his sister have just phoned him asked him to go straight to hers from work to do some jobs around the house naturally I am ...
A. 19 December 2019: I'd be a little annoyed too, however...
Were there any birthday plans? Or was he just going to maybe show up and "hang" out?
WHY don't you go out to dinner with a friend/family for your birthday? Or spend the evening with someone who HAS ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy about having to spend much of Christmas Day alone.
Q. I’m an 18-year old lad and facing the majority of Christmas day alone. I’ve honestly never felt so rotten in my entire life. As well as having Aspergers syndrome I’ve always been shy and introverted, and as such I’ve got no friends in life and have ...
A. 18 December 2019: It does sounds rather lonely for you. And I'm sorry that NEITHER o your parents are thinking about you, before their own wants, but that is ALSO part of growing up and being an adult.
As for you not having a GF, well that doesn't make you a loser,... (read in full...)
My ex keeps contacting me to be nasty.
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years split up with me 2 months ago and since then he hasn't stopped texting me abuse about what a horrible person I am and generally putting me down which is really confusing me why is he still texting me all this abuse when hes ...
A. 18 December 2019: Wouldn't it be worth it to change your number?
To NEVER hear or SEE another stupid abusive text from him?
YES, I get it's inconvenience to have to change your number, but you CAN NOT change him or what HE is doing so it IS up to you to make a... (read in full...)
How to deal with a best friend who buys cheap gifts?
Q. My best friend and I have always made an effort to buy each other nice, thoughtful gifts for birthdays and Christmas. The average amount we spent on each other was about 60$. In the past two years, I have noticed that she has been buying me i...
A. 17 December 2019: Talk to her, tell her how about we set the amount to XX dollars (if you she normally seem to spend $20) then set it to that. Or tell her it seems silly to buy present for adults, how about we just go Dutch on a really nice lunch or dinner?
A Chr... (read in full...)
Would you ever let a partner/date/BF know how important money is to you?
Q. Hey everyone. This is one of those topics where I don’t really know if I should discuss this or not with a date/bf, as couples typically start talking about their issues/past insecurities at some point. Anyway, I grew up in a middle class hou...
A. 17 December 2019: Nothing wrong in wanting a partner that has the same kind of goals as yourself. Who WANTS that "better" life. Who works hard and who is focused on the future and career.
Why is having ambitions bad?
Someone dating you will see that working har... (read in full...)
I like him but don't want to ruin anything at the moment.
Q. I have become friends with a guy who I go out patrolling with in his car due to burglaries in our area and part of a group. We get on well and can talk about anything which is helpful when out for an hour together. He does like to tease me and ...
A. 17 December 2019: Is he the same married guy you borrowed a suitcase from?
If so, stay away, he is married. Don't be THAT kind of woman.
If this is another guy, one who IS single, just take your time getting to know him. What is the hurry?... (read in full...)
Caught my girlfriend chatting with a guy. Do I tell his girlfriend?
Q. Hi - caught my girlfriend chatting and exchanging racey pictures/conversations with another guy on Snapchat. We argued and talked it through. The guy also has a girlfriend and she doesnt know this has happened, should I tell his girlfriend? Thanks ...
A. 16 December 2019: No, you just want to do because you got hurt, so now you want to hurt this guy AND his GF?
I think IF you were looking out for the other girl, then maybe I could see telling her... but you are not wanting to tell her because you give a shit abo... (read in full...)
How can I learn to live, accept and move on from her past life?
Q. I recently overheard things about my partner's past I wish I hadnt when she was talking with friends at a party. She is 33 and we have been together for over 9 years. Her past sex life was very promiscuous during uni. I have had only 4 sexual pa...
A. 16 December 2019: Has she used drugs while being with you? Or other sex partners?
If not, you can make the CHOICE to ACCEPT that yes, that was part of her past or you can choose not to.
SHE, however CAN NOT change the past whatsoever.
So really you being u... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend won't come to see me for Christmas but will go see a friend whose father died
Q. I am in a long distance relationship. He lives 2 states away, about 8 hours per drive. We had a little spat a few weeks ago, and patched things up. However, because of this spat, he told me that he would not be coming home for Christmas. He said I ...
A. 16 December 2019: I think YOU are being petty and he is an ass.
You need to understand that HE wants to BE there for a friend who JUST lost an important person in their life and you act like the guy died to spite you or that his friend doesn't deserve the attentio... (read in full...)
Why is my ex giving me mixed signals?
Q. My ex messaged me 3 times this month. Him and have not spoken in months. The first, “ he asked if I had any plans for my birthday” A few days later, “Just Happy Birthday” A few days later again he said, “ I hope your taking care of yoursel...
A. 16 December 2019: If his e-mails go to spam, LEAVE them be. Spam is the "trash folder" anyways.
If you can set your e-mail up to delete spam after 3 days or 5.
Most people don't check their spam folder. So maybe you need to make an effort to stop doing that ... (read in full...)
If a man says degrading things to one woman or rapes a woman, do you think he thinks poorly of women in general?
Q. Before coming to college and then entering the “real world”, I never really encountered men who were rude, gross or overly forward with women. I guess they were all on their parents' leashes in high school. Anyway, I had one guy in particular text ...
A. 15 December 2019: No anon,
You misread me or misunderstood me,
Having sex doesn't mean you don't respect yourself, CHOOSING to have sex with a guy you think is a douche or piece of crap man, I think is disrespectful TO yourself.
Sex is fine.
And sure, it... (read in full...)
Am I dating a manipulative guy?
Q. I have been dating a guy for just over a month, things have been going really well between us. I have noticed this week though that he has started to interrupt me a lot. Like last night he came round after work and we sat talking for a while then ...
A. 15 December 2019: I think he was just excited to share things with you, he might not have noticed he was interrupting.
My thing is this, you can't REALLY have a conversation (worth a shit) with someone who is on their phone. So if you two are talking, put away the... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 15 December 2019: Not really conflicting arguments, per se.
You are talking apples and oranges here. A) are acquaintances, strangers, coworkers, maybe even family and friends of friends. B) are people you want or have developed a relationship with.
Learning to c... (read in full...)
Does my FWB have feelings for me?
Q. I've been single for a little over 4 years now. My last relationship was one of the worst relationships I have ever been in, in my life. And that's why I'm still single. But I'm happy being single. Since I've been single I've had 3 friends with b...
A. 15 December 2019: Just because the sex is casual doesn't mean people don't want to FEEL like it MEANS something other than "just" "FWB".
Maybe he IS catching feelings, who knows? (besides him)
If you want more, maybe it would be an idea to ASK him and talk abo... (read in full...)
Why is my ex giving me mixed signals?
Q. My ex messaged me 3 times this month. Him and have not spoken in months. The first, “ he asked if I had any plans for my birthday” A few days later, “Just Happy Birthday” A few days later again he said, “ I hope your taking care of yoursel...
A. 15 December 2019: So if he is blocked... how does he message you?
I'd suggest you KEEP blocking him whenever he does find a "work-around" to your previous blocking and just keep doing so.
No, it's not fair that he keeps messaging you, but the thing is HE is t... (read in full...)
If a man says degrading things to one woman or rapes a woman, do you think he thinks poorly of women in general?
Q. Before coming to college and then entering the “real world”, I never really encountered men who were rude, gross or overly forward with women. I guess they were all on their parents' leashes in high school. Anyway, I had one guy in particular text ...
A. 14 December 2019: Probably.
You don't have to respect women to want to marry and have kids.
Think about how many cultures that STILL doesn't see women as equals, is it that strange that something like that still exist? The fact that women are still WILLING to... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 11 December 2019: 1. I think you CAN ask, who else is coming but if you them make a BIG deal out of not being able to come because X,Y or Z is coming to, then I think you ARE a drama queen. But if you start out with I'll have to check the date and see, and as a ... (read in full...)
I still want to cross dress but am afraid of losing my fiance if I tell her
Q. Should I tell my girlfriend of nearly 8 years, soon to be married that I used to crossdress, and still wishes that I could?. I love my fiance very much, and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship in any way, but every day I wake up and think ...
A. 5 December 2019: Let's say you were dating someone and then engaged to a person who wanted to "dress up and act as a guy, go to biker bars( or wherever) and do "whatever" as a guy" - wouldn't YOU want to know BEFORE getting married?
I think, in all honesty,... (read in full...)
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