My family knows of my affair and my lover has distanced herself but I don't think I can return to my sexless marriage
Q. I'm in my 40s. Been with my partner for 20 years and married for 17. We have a 15 year old daughter. My wife hasn't wanted a physical relationship with me for a long time. It's been around 10 years since we had sex. She has made comments in the ...
A. 7 January 2020: I think WiseOwlE pointed out a fair point, there is USUALLY a reason as to why sex stops in a marriage or relationship. Especially if it was working fine for 10 years.
"Bad"/boring sex, cheating, medical issues, lack of romance, hygiene, focus on... (read in full...)
I'd like to have some fun with my sibling's friend, but don't know how to ask him.
Q. Please no judging, my sibling has a friend who I fancy the only problem I have is the age difference I am 42 he is 25. He has admitted in the past he liked me and this has gone on for the last 8 years. A few year back he actually sat discussing with ...
A. 7 January 2020: Besides the fact that it's been 8 years of knowing him and NADA!! has happened isn't that a clue? It was a few YEARS ago he thought something could happen, THAT is a LONG time for nothing to happen and he might have been blowing off steam with his ... (read in full...)
Is my wife developing a violent streak?
Q. My wife threw a glass at my head during a petty argument. I’ve never known her to have a violent streak in her before. Should I be worried? On Saturday I was stripping the kitchen ceiling ready for it to be redecorated in a few weeks and when m...
A. 7 January 2020: yes, I think it IS serious.
There could have been some serious consequences to this. It could have hit your head, you could have lost an eye, etc. PLENTY of bad things COULD have happened.
Winding her up or not... it's NOT an excuse to do wha... (read in full...)
Should I move on or give it one more try with my overly religious ex
Q. So I dated this guy in 2013-2015 We got very serious very fast. He came from an overly religious background but when we met he was more or less totally normal and although he was against having sex before marriage. We did it multiple times a...
A. 7 January 2020: I think you are being silly, OP
You might care for him but you don't have the same values or religious beliefs, so where does that lead you? What if you got married? You couldn't get married in a church as an agnostic and HE probably wouldn't... (read in full...)
I like to sleep naked. Is there any concerns I should have?
Q. I enjoy sleeping completely naked. Is there any concerns I should have? I keep my bedroom window covered up and I know not to near my front windows without putting clothes on. So there is no chances of my neighbors accidentally seeing me naked....
A. 7 January 2020: I can't see why it would be a problem.
You wouldn't answer the door naked, right? So really who would see you?
If you DO worry, why not get one of those privacy window film or vinyl static clings for the windows? It would ensure that peop... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that he really isn't into communication when we aren't together?
Q. I’ve just started dating a man but I can’t tell how into me he is. We’ve had around 10 dates and spent days together in between. We’ve spoken about how neither of us want to rush into things and are both happy taking our time getting to know ...
A. 7 January 2020: I have to say I'm like him too. I DO NOT have my phone attached to me, I DO NOT reply to ALL messages right away, and I DO NOT give lengthy answers over text.
He wants to GET to know YOU as a person IN person. Not some through some (probabl... (read in full...)
My family knows of my affair and my lover has distanced herself but I don't think I can return to my sexless marriage
Q. I'm in my 40s. Been with my partner for 20 years and married for 17. We have a 15 year old daughter. My wife hasn't wanted a physical relationship with me for a long time. It's been around 10 years since we had sex. She has made comments in the ...
A. 5 January 2020: Well, I don't see that many options here.
You wife doesn't want sex with YOU.
Your lover wants sex with YOU but not to BE with you.
So you get some of you needs fulfilled from each women and you fulfill some of theirs.
If you don'... (read in full...)
I like my co-worker but am unsure how to proceed or whether to even try
Q. I really like my co-worker. Him and I we’ve worked together for a few months. I’m his boss but he’s older than me by 10 years. Usually he’s not the type I go for but he’s a gentleman. I thinks what’s one of the reasons why I’m attracted to him. ...
A. 5 January 2020: I have to agree with most of the uncles and aunts.
HARD PASS. No, just not.
1. he is your SUBORDINATE. He works UNDER you, which makes this inappropriate.
2. He is 10 years older than you, yet isn't financially OK. He is hoping by BUTTERIN... (read in full...)
Wanting to explore my sexuality
Q. Thank you for taking time to read and advise me. I am 42, unhappily married (he has PTSD w/depression and has cheated on and off). Plus I have a special needs toddler who comes first in my life. 2019, I started to make changes to produ...
A. 5 January 2020: I think if you TOLD her you were interested in something more than friendship and SHE pulled back, then you have your answer.
She doesn't want that.
I understand that for you, the marriage has now become a marriage of convenience for ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling like I'm not good enough?
Q. I need advice on how to stop or control the feeling of not feeling good enough. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and I’ve always felt this way, I feel like it’s a bad trait to have but I can’t help but feel this way. My partners friend ...
A. 5 January 2020: You are the one comparing yourself to this other woman that your partner's friend is seeing, NOT your partner. He just wanted to say something nice to his friend's "choice" in woman. So he said "she is fit, you are lucky".
He could have used WAY... (read in full...)
My friend runs her mouth off and ruins everything.
Q. Hello Aunt's and Uncle's this is about a friend and I'm going to use my real Aunt's and Uncle's names instead of the real names. Hopefully Amy or my parents won't get nosy and look at my phone! My (only) friends at school are: Amy, Laura, Matt, and ...
A. 4 January 2020: So it's time to not be FRIENDS with Amy any more.
She seems to meddle in everyone's life, EVEN THOUGH she might have good intentions (I doubt it), it seems she also does it to create drama in everyone else lives. Then she can just stand back and... (read in full...)
I have never put myself first and I'm at a time in life where I'm exhausted
Q. Is my tactics going to work? I want to stop doing the chores and paying the bills, cooking, feeding the cat, cleaning his litter… because I’m the only one doing that. My husband is lazy and he doesn’t even see it because he’s ADHD and does ONLY wha...
A. 4 January 2020: NOT feeding the cat or cleaning up after the CAT is ridiculous. It's not the cat's fault that your BF is a lazy asshat, the cat CAN'T fend for itself nor should it have a FILTHY litter box. That's disgusting! don't take it out on the cat, OK? And ... (read in full...)
The affair ended when I became jealous that she had sex with her husband but I love her and want her back
Q. I have no interest in anything since my affair with a woman I cared deeply for ended. I had an affair for over a year with my cousins wife months before the affair I was attracted to this woman she made my heart race and made me imagine life in ...
A. 3 January 2020: You are absolutely off the planet with this fantasy. And THAT is all that it is.
SHE is married. YOU are married.
You have no RIGHT to make ANY claims on HER fidelity when you yourself can't even be faithful to the woman you made your vows w... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't know how to be a family man. Should I end things?
Q. Hi I’m just looking for some advice about my partner who doesn’t know how to be part of a family we have a 4 year old daughter and I am seriously thinking about ending the relationship soon he’s always been the same but I thought in time it would ...
A. 3 January 2020: I think you NEED to talk to him, give it one last go.
He might be depressed or stressed but not handling it well or trying to handle it on his own.
Not that it's an excuse, more of a possible explanation.
But I would sit him down and t... (read in full...)
Have I blown it by asking for more?
Q. Hi all Have been friends with gut from work for years , he split from wife last year and flirted with me - I told him it was too soon for him but that I liked him . He then started talking again months later but then went quiet again - I left h...
A. 2 January 2020: No you haven't blown anything that was going to BE anything.
He WAS hoping for a rebound/fling - you obliged.
He didn't know YOU were more serious.
Know HE knows and has backed off, and YOU know and can now back off too.
HE IS NOT lookin... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a boy who brought his girlfriend to my house to sleep.
Q. Dear Aunties, Happy New year. I am a 36 yr old male. I have been with this 21 year old boy. We have a huge age difference. I have wanted this boy to be my boyfriend for a while now. He has been resistant to my advances and asked me to be patient...
A. 1 January 2020: Are you taking care of him financially, OP?
IF that is the case, then THAT is why he keeps coming back. For you to fund his life.
He has ALREADY told you, he doesn't WANT to be gay. While it's not really something most people GET to pick, he ... (read in full...)
Are my wife and mother being selfish?
Q. Am I paranoid or are people selfish? I recently had a road traffic collision and as a result I was prevented from doing my usual sports or activities by my wife and mother, physically I was fine. They both said I shouldn’t drive for my health ju...
A. 1 January 2020: I think you should ask them.
Seriously!
It makes NO sense to suggest that you do not drive and then ask you to drive them places.
While I DO agree with them that NOT driving for a few days (and after a check-up from the doctor if need be) I... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my mental health.
Q. I'm scared i'm sinking into depression and can't pull myself out of it. I'm a Mum of one (teenager) and came out of a long term relationship in October. When I had my child, I battled post-natal depression for several years and so I think I c...
A. 1 January 2020: 1. I think you need to take a LITTLE more time before trying to get back in the dating game. It's ONLY been 2 months. IT IS OK to be alone a little, but it's ALSO OK to let friends and family know that YOU need company, support, a shoulder to lean ... (read in full...)
I didnt get an answer, should I approach him again?
Q. Hi, male in my late fiftys, always been by curious, never been with a male before, a woman friend has a gay friend,well I ask him straight up, if he interested in having sex , told him I was a virgin, he said he has been, staying away from sex for ...
A. 1 January 2020: No, you got your answer.
He turned you down in the most polite way he could. Accept and respect that.
JUST because he is gay doesn't mean he will want to have sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry.
You might not BE someone HE is interested in.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts single and doesn't respect me.
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. I’m having issues because his social media. He brings his exes to it a lot. Particularly one that I caught him having an emotional affair. As well as a bunch of flirting. He...
A. 1 January 2020: You "guess" you see his priorities? YET you are still dating... why?
This guy is a time waster. And a bad GF, and you know it, yet you cling to him. Ask yourself why and don't do the "BUT I love him"... because that is NOT a good enough reason t... (read in full...)
There is no physical chemistry, which makes me think he is not "My Guy"
Q. Dear cupid, I have been dating a friend of mine who confessed that hes had feelings for me for a year now, and since I just got out of a toxic relationship he said he had to tell.me how he felt before I started dating someone else, hes a great guy, ...
A. 1 January 2020: I agree with a few different statements from different aunts and uncles,
1, I don't think you should be dating just yet. You have some baggage you need to unpack and work through first.
2, He isn't your guy. TRUST your gut there. He might ... (read in full...)
What is this girl doing? Is she into me or not?
Q. This girl at college stares at me a lot. Ive walked over to her while with her friends a couple of times to make conversation but I ended up speaking with her friends and she walks off, not instantly but usually pretty soon after. She has the mo...
A. 31 December 2019: She has a BF.
THE END
Don't go chasing after girls who ALREADY have someone, it's a sure way to get hurt or.. cause drama that in the end leaves you holding the turd.
Lastly, IF she "hung out" or "hooked up" with you then how good of a GF is... (read in full...)
My ex and I remain friends, he has invited me to a family party.
Q. my ex and I dated for two years we have been broken up for a year now we still remain friends and hang out almost everyday he has invited me to a family party what should I expect...
A. 31 December 2019: He wouldn't invite if his family wasn't OK with it.
As far as DO you have to tell everyone that you are now exes and broken up? No, not unless they ask and you WANT to share that tidbit.
If you were invited to your best friend's house f... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like my new hair colour.
Q. ive been with my partner for twenty years when I met him I was natural brunette but now im in my mid forties got a few greys and I changed my hair to blonde which everyone likes my family and friends and I get much more attention. Most importantly I ...
A. 30 December 2019: Ask him why he doesn't like it.
And then decide what to do. This IS your hair, it's dye, not permanent. Some people don't like changes, some people don't like their partner all of a sudden looking much younger.
If he decided to grow a beard ... (read in full...)
Why do people say men age better than women?
Q. Why do so many people say that men age better than women or why is there the saying that men age like fine wine and women like off milk. Is this why so many successful men and movie stars want young women and so many older women complain of men ...
A. 30 December 2019: I don't know who these "people are" to be honest. I think we see more and more MATURE women in movies, even if they often happened to be behind the scenes and directing.
I have seen a LOT more commercials that show a wider age range too, and I ha... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts single and doesn't respect me.
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. I’m having issues because his social media. He brings his exes to it a lot. Particularly one that I caught him having an emotional affair. As well as a bunch of flirting. He...
A. 30 December 2019: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim,
Only you can decide when enough is enough.
You thinking you can CHANGE is is where you got it wrong. He obviously doesn't CARE how it makes you feel. So why would he change?
What you CAN do is decide is THIS beh... (read in full...)
Extended family, I'm damned if I do, and damned if I dont.
Q. some background: I am an expat living in my husbands country. Despite that on the surface, everyone gets along, there has been unspoken tension for years. Without listing everything off, basically my MIL and my BILs gf have given me silent ...
A. 30 December 2019: What does your husband say to all this?
You two have to decide TOGETHER if this is acceptable or not. And then what to do.
Because you two has to live with whatever you decide?
Personally, this would be a no go for me.
If you can't AFFO... (read in full...)
My wife has an anger management problem and my patience is wearing thin. What can I do to help?
Q. My wife has an anger management problem. Sometimes she is mad at me, but many times she reacts angrily in ways that are disproportionate to the situation. If she "almost" (but does not) burn dinner she will stomp her feet and pound the table. I...
A. 29 December 2019: I forgot to mention that when she goes to the doctor one thing that she REALLY needs to ask for is a full check up INCLUDING her hormone levels.
My BIL's first wife had a hysterectomy and didn't get on hormones afterwards and she was VERY angry AL... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in this marriage anymore.
Q. I don’t think I want to be in my marriage anymore. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. It’s really never been great. He’s a completely closed off person. We never talk about anything - future goals, family planning, budgets, our ...
A. 29 December 2019: Definitely TRY counseling. If he won't go, DO it for you, while you decide your next "move".
He sounds emotionally stunted. And that is something that YOU can not fix. THIS is something only HE can work on and ONLY if HE chooses to do so.
I... (read in full...)
I was so sure about this girl so her rejection has me off kilter.
Q. I (22m) really hit it off with someone (26F) at a party and she turned me down, blaming everything on the alcohol. Sorry in advance for the novel, but the story goes as follows: A few weeks ago, my friends in grad school were having a combina...
A. 29 December 2019: Like N91 said, you can feel what you feel. We can't tell you that those feelings are "wrong" or "right".
My thing is this, her FRIENDS even told you she is never like that. That YOU brought it out in her. (no it wasn't the alcohol, unless s... (read in full...)
My wife has an anger management problem and my patience is wearing thin. What can I do to help?
Q. My wife has an anger management problem. Sometimes she is mad at me, but many times she reacts angrily in ways that are disproportionate to the situation. If she "almost" (but does not) burn dinner she will stomp her feet and pound the table. I...
A. 29 December 2019: I think you need to sit her down (NOT right after an episode of rage, though) and tell her :"if something doesn't change I want out of the marriage. I can't live like this."
Just like you told us.
This is NOT acceptable behavior. AT all... (read in full...)
Why did my husband go my sister-in-law's house when he knows I dislike her?
Q. Let me give you a little background first before asking the question. My husband and i live in city A, his brother and his wife live in city B, and all our parents are based in city C. We wre all currently in city C with our our respective paren...
A. 29 December 2019: I don't think your SIL looks down on you, I think she SMARTLY enough senses YOUR hostility. I can tell you this, I dealt with a SIL like you. Who for no other reason than PETTY SAD jealousy disliked me. And you know what? I don't give a flying fart. ... (read in full...)
My Ex Girlfriend has told me the only person who will raise our son is her.
Q. The mother of my child and my ex girlfriend got a new boyfriend. We’ve been broke up since October 28, of last year. So roughly 14 months ago. About, May of that time period, only a month or two after our son was born. We were at my senior ...
A. 29 December 2019: She can't MAKE that choice as to who raises her child. As a father you DO have parental rights.
It might mean you would have to go though the courts to set up visitation right and a custody agreement. If you are "on the road" a lot it's going to... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin - a followup to my previous question.
Q. I am re posting this question with extra details as I need more advice he has a girlfriend of 4 years, we have NOT had sex, he has never threatened me or hit me est... , i think I’m in love i want to know what he thinks and what I can do etc... I...
A. 29 December 2019: Did you not read the answers to your first post, OP?
Nothing has changed. It's STILL not OK.... (read in full...)
I feel a complete romantic disaster!
Q. Hi all, and happy holidays! Any help or advice is much appreciated. A few years ago I liked a girl at my school (so much that it became more of an unhealthy obsession than a crush), but was never able to muster up enough courage to finally ask h...
A. 28 December 2019: My advice?
Don't tie your "worth" as a person to whether or not you have a GF or HOW a girl treats you.
You are not worth LESS than the new guy she really wanted to date. You just weren't a good fit. It does happen. And there ARE some people ... (read in full...)
I struggle to trust my judgement when it comes to guys.
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I’m really interested to hear what others think is a ‘normal’ amount of messages to be sending in the very early stages of dating. For context: I’ve been seeing a new guy that I met online for the past month, we’ve...
A. 28 December 2019: I agree with anon male, CALL each other when you want to talk.
And TRY not to color ALL men by one bad apple.
The thing that strikes me is this, IF you were the one (in your last online relationship) who kept the conversations going only to re... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, and I don't know how to rebuild the trust.
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner just over a year. We were work colleagues for around 6 months prior to that, and our relationship didn't start in the best way - my then boyfriend was working away and I had an affair with current boyfrien...
A. 28 December 2019: OP, your relationship is build on lies and deceit.
THAT is a fact. YOU cheated on someone to be with this guy and when you were figuring out WHO you wanted, he slept with someone else.
NEITHER of you are trustworthy.
Which is why building... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's good side is wonderful, it is why I have stayed so long.
Q. Over the last year, I've spent 5 months total with my bf. Let me give you a timeline. January-gone half the month working February-gone half the month because he was mad at me but we took a trip to Florida where we reconciled but then I flew acro...
A. 28 December 2019: If he "leaves" for work as much as you write in your posts... why doesn't he bring home ANY "bacon"? where does the money go?
To drugs?
What about your kids? DO you really think this is what is best for them? Do you think this is healthy for t... (read in full...)
He's left without me, after planning to spend NYE together.
Q. I have been seeing someone for 3 months. We have been taking it very slowly but the past 3 weeks things have been progressing more and I have met his mother and a couple of his friends. The other day we were talking about New Year’s Eve. Original...
A. 28 December 2019: I agree with YCBS,
You are overreacting. He DID seem like he wanted to spend time with you and he even wanted you to meet some more of HIS friend, people he doesn't get to see much and who OBVIOUSLY are very important in his life. He didn't s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 28 December 2019: Make sure you keep your case worker (whomever is working on Child support FOR your child) on his/her toes. It can take longer if he is in another state, don't give up on it though, it will happen. Took my niece 2 years, because every time they ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin but not sure about his feelings for me
Q. I am I love with my 20year old cousin. I am 15. I don’t know what to do. He has a girlfriend but he acts like he likes me : he always teases me and we cuddle and other more intimate things. However I don’t know if he feels the same. I need him he is ...
A. 27 December 2019: I fully agree with N91,
This is totally inappropriate behavior, mostly of your older cousin who should NOT be touching you or flirting with you at all. 1. you are cousins and 2. you are minor.
To me it seems like he is taking advantage of you... (read in full...)
Married 17 years and it's stale and boring in my marriage now
Q. I have been married for 17 years and have two children. Our marriage has become boring and dull. I will suggest we go out to see a movie or a car ride or anything and the answer is always no. I feel that either she has met someone else or has just ...
A. 27 December 2019: You need to talk to her, ASK her if SHE wants to salvage what you got or not. you have made it for 17 years, doesn't that count for something?
If she does, find a marriage counselor/couples counselor and WORK on your marriage.
If she doesn'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 27 December 2019: Yup END it totally with this guy.
My guess is your anxiety and stress is DIRECTLY linked to him and how he treats you, and how little he contribute to the family.
YOU taking CARE of him takes stuff, attention away from your own kid, IS that wha... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
