My boyfriend lives with his ex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Hello, I met my bf on a dating site and he is a pretty good guy. A few things I find a bit concerning though. He lives with his ex. Him and I live in different provinces so we dont see one another much. My bf and his ex are raising a child ...
A. 8 June 2020: If this is early stages of the courtship, you don't really have a say about where he lives. Doesn't mean you can't dislike it.
He OBVIOUSLY have an arrangement with her. Either because they still are an item, neither can afford a place on their ow... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my neighbor about noise even though we've never met?
Q. Hello, I live in a students residence. I was trying to sleep, but I heard some noises coming from my neighbor's room. We don't know each other, never met. I am not sure if he is having sex with someone, or his bed is just very squeaky someho...
A. 7 June 2020: I also agree if this is EVERY night, go ask him if he can figure a way to keep the squeaking down a little. It is annoying, but if you approach him in a nice fashion I don't think he will take offense. If it's a once in a while I think you might ... (read in full...)
My relationship needs a fix or it is doomed.
Q. Hi I was just looking for peoples opinions on this my partner smokes weed and spends a lot of money on it we have 1 child together when we first met he only had 1 joint on a night to help him sleep we’ve been together now for 9 years we are ...
A. 7 June 2020: OP, you can do just as "bad" financially all by yourself. As a single mother you might have the option for HUD housing or public housing which can help you afford to DO this without him.
Do you think your son really benefits from having his dad ... (read in full...)
Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 6 June 2020: Well, I feel bad for the husband. But I think in all honesty he DESERVED to know the truth, just like you did. And the child, in the future.
Have you talked to a lawyer? Do you know your rights? Being the BIOLOGICAL dad doesn't always means yo... (read in full...)
Why is this married coworker trying to come in between 2 single coworkers?
Q. So there is this colleague at work who used to be quite friendly. We both hail from the same city and had a good rapport with one another. We are both single. And we have been quite attracted to one another. I have been plannin to ask him out. But a ...
A. 3 June 2020: Maybe because she wants you to work? You are not there to be flirting with other single people, you are there to work.
She might JUST want her work place (and you) to focus on work and being professional.
Keep romance out of the work place a... (read in full...)
What should I do about my passive aggressive sister in law?
Q. My husband and I travelled cross country to visit his brother and his brothers family (wife and kids) over Christmas holiday. It was the first time I would really get to spend one on one time with them. I get along very well with all the rest of my ...
A. 1 June 2020: My take?
1. Your birthday. Well, I think it should have been ON your BF to arrange something there. Even if it was just a dinner out for the 2 of you.
2. the singing thing. She IS doing it on purpose but in a subtle way that most people won'... (read in full...)
I'm not happy with my girlfriend's appearance and lack of self care.
Q. If I’m not happy with my gfs appearance do I have another choice rather than leaving her? We were both in good shape when we got together few years ago but she is now borderline obese. Also our eating habits are opposite. She has this obsession w...
A. 1 June 2020: Amen to CodeWarriors advice.
Nothing wrong with wanting a partner that takes care of themselves. Absolutely not.
But you are definitely NOT "helping" by insulting her. She knows she is fat, she knows she is lazy and she KNOWS that if she is u... (read in full...)
Sometimes I wish I could just text people and let them know how I feel.
Q. Sometimes when I feel sad , its normally when I feel like messaging the people who I wish I could be truthful to or opening up to someone. in situations like this I often feel more inclined to say something I regret as well or do something I regret ...
A. 1 June 2020: I'd apologize to person #2 if the holiday was recent, if it was last year? Too late. Let that go. If you DO meet up with her in person, you can tell her :" you know I was thinking about that holiday we took to XYZ and I feel I owe you an apology for ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by what this man said.
Q. I recently started talking to someone in a friendly way , he lives in another city to me and asked me, if I am I going to keep him up an night if he stays at mine as I said id like to spend the night with him, im just wondering if he will have ...
A. 1 June 2020: Look OP, you don't know the guy but you are inviting him to stay over night?
And if you are saying you want to go slow, inviting him to stay over AT your place - you NEED to spell that out or better yet, arrange DATES in the daytime that doesn't ... (read in full...)
Are our neighbours taking their stress out on us?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I was just wondering if I had made the best decision… Five years ago, my husband and I struck a friendship with a couple that is about 12 years older. They live in the same village where we bought a house, where we hope to...
A. 31 May 2020: I have to agree with Auntie Cindy.
This would go no further for me, if these were my neighbors. It's REALLY not YOUR problem that they feel a need to go go go go and do do do… They can live however THEY chose to.
Yelling at you and your husband... (read in full...)
I've met a guy I like, but he is friends with my ex baby daddy.
Q. I’m trying to decide if a guy is interested in me. He is a divorced single Dad. The issue is he is friends with my ex baby daddy. We saw each other out with our kids. His daughter is friends with my oldest daughter. So I asked if she could come over ...
A. 31 May 2020: While "liking" your selfies in itself doesn't show REAL interest in another person, him spending time with you AND his daughter (when he really could just have dropped her off - unless she is very little) makes me think that he wants to get to know ... (read in full...)
My wife says my vest is embarrassing.
Q. There's a TV show about a motorcycle club called Sons of anarchy. I bought a vest like the ones worn on the show by the actors. I have a motorcycle and I'm such a fan of that TV show. My wife says it would be embarrassing to wear it as people w...
A. 31 May 2020: I think it really all depends on WHERE you wear it. And what you normally wear.
I can tell you this, I wouldn't tell my husband to wear. He can wear whatever he wants but if we are going out in public I too would be embarrassed of him wearing ... (read in full...)
Is this guy trying to make me pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone This is my first time posting on this, and my friend told me its very helpfull, im not sure how much details to go into but this has really confused me and have asked a few people but not really had a answer lol, So a guy im seeing af...
A. 31 May 2020: OP, are you financially able and ready to be a single mother?
Do you WANT to be one?
Smearing his sperm all over the inside of you is like a dog pissing his territory. And it MIGHT be that he wants you pregnant. Some guys are very fixated on ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my life and wife?
Q. Over 43 yrs of faithful marriage she requires separate bedrooms handles all financial transactions accumulate over 100,000 dollars in credit card debts that I know of and no sex for 3 years now .... what to do No names please ...
A. 30 May 2020: Time to take over the financial responsibility of taking care of the money/bills, and find someone who can help you consolidate your CC debt. A financial advisor or contact your bank and maybe they can point you to someone who can work with you.
... (read in full...)
I need tips for dealing with the mother of my ex!
Q. My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me almost two months ago, and his mom keeps contacting me. Why would she do it? I always had the feeling she didn't like me during the first years we were together as we have very different views ...
A. 29 May 2020: I would just wish her well and be frank about you not wanting to stay in contact as YOU are also trying to move on with your life after being dumped.
If she doesn't take the hint.. simply block her.... (read in full...)
Am I screwing my friend over?
Q. I had a message from an old friend asking if I had ideas to pitch to a company he has just signed up to as a freelancer. They are a production company looking for show ideas and pay commission if an idea is chosen. My friend said if any ideas I c...
A. 29 May 2020: To me that all depends, are you getting that interview BASED on the idea your friend worked on WITH you or another idea?
Is this the ONLY company that you could work with in that capacity?
To be honest I get why you did what you did, but I t... (read in full...)
The more I try to better myself the nastier my friend becomes.
Q. Thanks in advance for answers to my guestion. This is a great site. I have been friends with this paticular friend for about ten years. I cannot say that this is the only friendship I have been evaluating lately. I have a great job and have started ...
A. 27 May 2020: I think it sucks when we "out grow" friendships but it is inevitable with SOME friendships. because people stagnate. Some wallow in their own misery, and some people forget HOW to be a good friend. We grow, we change and so does our responsibilities ... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 26 May 2020: Honestly, OP?
Thank you lucky starts it's over with her, because it gives YOU the opportunity to pursue a quality woman.
Let it go. Set yourself free from the drama.
Being angry (in your case) is understandable but its also totally pointle... (read in full...)
My wife and I fight about laundry! I mean REALLY fight about it!
Q. My wife doesn't like to do laundry. She says she doesn't like the noise (we have a small house so doing a load of laundry permeates) and apparently doesn't like any other aspect of it either. She will let her laundry pile up until she has nothing ...
A. 26 May 2020: Sit her down and suggest a schedule?
To me it sounds absolutely absurd to fight over laundry, though, if I may be frank… doing laundry at night while she is trying to sleep is not going to help the situation. That can come of as rather passive-... (read in full...)
Is she smitten with me?
Q. I am confused and more unsure than I have ever been. I have always been a good guy who is confident and I always know what to do. But with this lovely woman I am unsure. We work together, and she is in a relationship she is dissatisfied wit...
A. 25 May 2020: What do you hope to get out of all this?
That she will drop the "bad" BF ad date you?
No, she might not claim sexual harassments, she might enjoy the banter, but let's say things go sideways... When you behave unprofessionally at work, stuff h... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 25 May 2020: Eh, you were used and it hurts. I get that, but it's not like you didn't KNOW she was seeing someone else too.
If someone you are dating or seeing more casually start to see/date someone else BESIDES you, then you have a choice, you can decide N... (read in full...)
Is there a difference in the way a wife and a mistress have sex?
Q. I've been meaning to ask this question for a while now. There are a lot of posts on here about married men cheating and I'm sure we all know or have heard of men who have mistresses; usually the mistress is more sexually "available", if I could put ...
A. 25 May 2020: I think that comes down to EACH women, not just as a "group".
For some it's more about the "forbidden fruit" - in the sense that the married man/woman "gets away" with having a secret relationship on the side.
I don't think mistresses provi... (read in full...)
How can I do what's right for me knowing my parents won't approve
Q. i recently started a job in a care home on a rolling contract so it may come to an end in a few weeks, although It will most likely be extended . im sadly not enjoying it all and it is way more tiring then I thought and the hours I really long an...
A. 24 May 2020: Not every job is for everyone. I have had a lot of jobs over time. Different things. Because it's GOOD to TRY out a few different things if you aren't sure what you want to do. Because you weed out what you DON'T want to do.
However, IF you are ... (read in full...)
Is she smitten with me?
Q. I am confused and more unsure than I have ever been. I have always been a good guy who is confident and I always know what to do. But with this lovely woman I am unsure. We work together, and she is in a relationship she is dissatisfied wit...
A. 24 May 2020: You say you "respect" her relationship and that you are a good guy. What a load of bullshit.
You are buttering her up, laying it on thick.
Gifts and flirting? That is courtship, not a friendly coworker.
It's not your job to "satisfy" he... (read in full...)
Late nights, lack of sleep causes breakup
Q. I have recently split up with my girlfriend and asked her why. Her excuse was to many late nights. I said what do you mean? Her reply was I can't sleep if your not in bed with me. I Replied with twice I went to the liver room to watch tv as she kept ...
A. 24 May 2020: I also think that this is an excuse, the "best" one she could think of to end it and "softly" as possible.
For some sleeping in the same bed with someone makes for a restless night, even someone they have shared a bed with for a long time. Ot... (read in full...)
Did I emotionally cheat?
Q. Some background. I’m in my mid 20s, my boyfriend is early 30s. I went through a very tough breakup. This was at a time in my life where I was also experiencing four deaths of people close to me. I was an absolute mess to say the least. Throughout ...
A. 24 May 2020: I don't think you were emotionally cheating, but you were a bit overinvolved and unprofessional. IMHO.
Having conversations of a sexual nature with a guy that you work with, who happens to have a partner and YOU also have a partner, its a little i... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in this relationship.
Q. Hi I’ve been in a long term relationship for 8 years we have a coming up 6 year old son my partner 3 years ago suddenly started smoking weed he was good looking and smart when we met the relationship was great we both were working we went on ...
A. 23 May 2020: You know you can't fix him, right? You can't "MAKE" him stop smoking weed?
So what is next? Do you live in his place or was it originally yours? Can you afford that place on your own?
I'd personally, end it and move out. Make sure you name ge... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is moving to Panama for 6 months and is leaving me behind. He wants me to wait for him. Should I?
Q. I know I won't get any sympathy here but I am looking for some advice. Mistresses have nowhere to go. My married lover (he is more like a boyfriend now) is going to Panama with his wife in September to spend 6 months out of the year there, ever...
A. 23 May 2020: You CAN control your feelings, no one else can do that for you.
You knew this would happen, you knew being a "mistress" means you are second best (in his eyes) yet you STILL made the CHOICE (and it IS a choice) to continue this affair. Beca... (read in full...)
I worry I am just this woman's plaything.
Q. Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...
A. 23 May 2020: Rose petal guy?... (read in full...)
Where did I mess up with the LDR who faded on me?
Q. This girl and I first met a couple of years ago, casually hanged out a couple of times, then went back to our own countries on the opposite sides of the world. A few months later, we briefly met one more time when I travelled to her country; we had ...
A. 23 May 2020: OP, thanks for the clarification!
It still doesn't make much of a difference. You wanted more than she did, it happens.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when you find out it didn't pan out. That, also happens.
Looking for the silver lining he... (read in full...)
Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.
Q. My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...
A. 23 May 2020: Yikes!
Glad you changed your lock. If I were you I'd go get some boxes so she has no excuse to leave anything behind when she comes pack her stuff.
Or you can pack her stuff and leave it outside if she doesn't show up. Be mindful though, ... (read in full...)
Why did he ghost me after acting so insecure ?
Q. For the past 4 weeks I have been going on dates with a guy I met in a grocery store in March. At first i was a little skeptical because he’s a tad bit older but not by much. On our first date we met up at Dairy Queen. We talked for three hours , ...
A. 23 May 2020: I was thinking the same thing, Youcannotbeserious
OP, what is your question really about and what are you looking to get answered?
You ALREADY asked the SAME question almost 3 weeks ago, and you are still seeing the guy, so I would presume yo... (read in full...)
He criticizes my driving and it’s wrecking my confidence and ability!
Q. Heeeellpppp, i am a long time driving vihicles already. Im driving bycicles, real motorbike sometimes with 1 or 2 behind me as passenger plus my baby dog infront basket ( please dont get mad" that is normal in asia, when your small baby dog is train ...
A. 21 May 2020: My advice?
Tell him to drive as you are fed up with the criticism. If he tells you to drive and then complain the moment you start up the car, it's time to pull over and tell him to drive. Just be calm when it happens.
I'm a way more cautiou... (read in full...)
Where did I mess up with the LDR who faded on me?
Q. This girl and I first met a couple of years ago, casually hanged out a couple of times, then went back to our own countries on the opposite sides of the world. A few months later, we briefly met one more time when I travelled to her country; we had ...
A. 21 May 2020: I think THIS is what happens when you leave things unspoken. You "hinted" with flowers and gifts. But really those are no real hints. They are just showing consideration and generosity.
YOU presumed you had an LDR, when it was never agreed u... (read in full...)
Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.
Q. My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...
A. 21 May 2020: Sounds like she has all the answers, but don't feel like giving them to you.
I think it's NORMAL that couples discuss things, that couples don't always agree or see eye-to-eye but refusing to discuss ANYTHING means she doesn't think she did anyt... (read in full...)
My feelings have grown since blowing off a girl I met in college.
Q. I always had intense trust issues that lead me to stay away from relationships. In fact I've never been in a relationship till now, perhaps because of that. This also lead me to not make many friends and for some reason I maintained distance from ...
A. 20 May 2020: I think you should DEFINE these "trust issues" and work on those first. They might be more in the line of commitment issues than trust.
If you have never dated, I don't see how you can have developed these trust issues for HALF the Worlds populati... (read in full...)
I worry I am just this woman's plaything.
Q. Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...
A. 20 May 2020: Yes, I think you read the situation right.
Someone can sleep with you ,eat with you, go to the movies and on dates, but BLOCKS you from their social media. That is someone (in my opinion) who doesn't WANT you for more than company and entertai... (read in full...)
A close friend has fallen in love, and it leaves me bored!
Q. One of my closest and dearest friends has in the last year entered into a relationship. The guy, he's got with is absolutely perfect for him. And I see them being together for a good long time. His whole life now revolves around his relationship. ...
A. 19 May 2020: Maybe what you need is to look to yourself for Self-fulfillment. Work on yourself, better yourself, entertain yourself. That means find hobbies that can spark some enjoyment, try new things, do some selfcare etc. And maybe look at your social circle ... (read in full...)
I don't consider myself to be gay but what was the homosexual experience with my cousin all about?
Q. This thing happened to me when I was 13 years old. I used to meet my cousins on vacations when we had a large family get-together. I had this particular male cousin who was of the same age as me. We both never had any girlfriends ever and were ...
A. 19 May 2020: I really don't think it's an uncommon experience you had with your cousin. It was not because of "sexual orientation" but happened due to availability. Had your cousin been a girl and you had had the same openness and curiosity it might have ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the incredibly annoying and somewhat creepy flatmate that I'm stuck with during lockdown?
Q. I'm currently living away from home in the UK, sharing a flat with three others. Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus lockdown two of them have gone to live with their friends nearby a couple of months ago, so it's just me and a male flatmate whom ...
A. 19 May 2020: Head phones or earbuds!
You can listen to music all you want and not really HAVE to interact if you don't want to.
Your landlord can't do anything because your room-mate ISN'T doing anything besides being weird. Yes, it can absolutely be th... (read in full...)
Married for 5 years and I'm unhappy and don't feel desired
Q. Hi Hope you can help me with my marriage and whether this is normal. I have been married 5 years. We have a 3 year old and I have 2 stepchildren. My husband is a really wonderful father and works really hard. I work full time as well. I don’...
A. 16 May 2020:
Marriage, like ANY long term relationship, is hard and require constant investments and work. There will be times where it requires less work, some more, but it's not as simple as saying your vows and everything will be perfect from then on.
H... (read in full...)
Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 25 October 2019: Yikes, OP
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this dilemma at all. Some of it, however, WAS avoidable. Like a pregnancy. Unprotected sex is just foolish at your age. She could have passed on all kind of STD's and... SHE was (and still is) MARR... (read in full...)
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