Does everyone "settle" or do they really believe they've found "the one"?
Q. Hi there, this might sound like quite a broad question but I'm interested to know people's thoughts. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years and we're planning on moving in together this year. We've lived together on and off over ...
A. 19 April 2020: There isn't a "The One" specially MADE for you. That only happened for Adam and well, he lost a rib...
Joking aside, there are people who are a GOOD fit for you, and whom YOU are also a good fit. THAT is what I'd aim for. Someone that you can talk... (read in full...)
What should I do about my wife's declining sex drive?
Q. I am a 58 year old married man with a question...My wife and I have always had a very good sex life in the past, but over the last couple years that has slowly changed to the point that she shows no interest at all anymore, and I'm tired of begging, ...
A. 19 April 2020: Dear female anon,
NO older people don't "lose their ability to have sex" they might lose their libido or drive for it, as it's not really inherently "needed" as (women mostly) are no longer fertile. Some people (men AND women are having sex way ... (read in full...)
Doubts with texting style with my LDR
Q. I met a man online about 3 months ago. We communicate about every day through whatsapp, skype, facebook messenger, viber, facetime calls, Instagram etc. Sometimes I am realizing when we are texting That it feels if I am talking to a different ...
A. 19 April 2020: Go with your gut here.
People don't TYPE differently because they might use different apps, the WORDING might be different. But people might write differently depending on the media they use, email- versus text. For instance my husband uses sho... (read in full...)
I met up with an old crush, had sex twice now he is being short with me.
Q. A few years ago I was speaking to this boy I met on Twitter and we got on really well, flirted and things. we didn’t live near eachother at the time and I got a boyfriend and obviously things didn’t continue. Recently though, me and my boyfriend ...
A. 19 April 2020: I think you were hoping for more with the "Twit" (twitter guy) and he was just hoping it would lead to sex. After all he fancied you. Which means he LIKES how you look, not necessarily want to date you.
The fact that you "matched" up on Tinder a... (read in full...)
Is this part of life, having no one who knows who you really are?
Q. Hi, I'm 23 yo, I have some friends in my life, but no close ones anymore.. I've had 2 besties (2 guys who i loved as best friends) I've known for years, but then i was forced to block contact with them because my family thought they were bad in...
A. 18 April 2020: The one who SHOULD know YOU best, is YOU.
The better you know YOURSELF, the more likely you are to find a partner who is a good fit long term.
Knowing yourself also means YOU know in what areas of yourself that needs improving upon. Like in yo... (read in full...)
Does it matter if a boyfriend is saying he is only 45 percent attracted to me
Q. A short question , just want opinions on being enough physically for a boyfriend . My boyfriend has given me a percent, and a value to what number he finds me attracted at 45 percent , should I be anyoed by this I never asked to be given a perce...
A. 17 April 2020: If Code Warriors explanations in the "correct" interpretation i can kind of see that what he said wasn't so bad at all.
It just means that he VALUE your personality OVER your looks.
If he means something more to the like of you are less that... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want specific things out a person you are dating?
Q. Hello Aunt's and Uncle, I havent been on the site for a long time, and for a long time I thought I was content. Its been 2 years or maybe even more since I broke up with my Long Term College Girlfriend, I dated a bit after but havent found a g...
A. 16 April 2020: Eh Sam, sometime we all ruminate with our thoughts. It happens. Don't beat yourself up.
Chin up.
... (read in full...)
I am fighting myself not to contact her
Q. So someone i worked with is no longer talking to me. She knows that i like her as i always complimented her and even told her straight out "i like you". But something happened that she now ignores me. And i wish i knew what it was because it i...
A. 16 April 2020: I think if you feel emotionally traumatized by being ignored or simply put BUTT HURT, that is on you.
I'm sure when "Psychologists" says ignoring other is damaging they mean WITHIN a relationship, such a giving your PARTNER the "silent treatmen... (read in full...)
I am fighting myself not to contact her
Q. So someone i worked with is no longer talking to me. She knows that i like her as i always complimented her and even told her straight out "i like you". But something happened that she now ignores me. And i wish i knew what it was because it i...
A. 16 April 2020: Yep ghosting someone or just ignoring them is a "cop out" to a point. I think some people RATHER do that then lie or be honest. In her case? Who knows?
And yes it can make harder to accept a rejection that isn't really "given" but such is life. No... (read in full...)
I don't like his creepy behaviour
Q. There is a guy I met 3 years and I thought he could have been a potential suitor. Recently I have started to become aware of things that I do not like about him. Before the lockdown he would spend hours a day on Facebook. He has nearly 2000 like...
A. 14 April 2020: Being a "visual creature" gives him 0 ZERO right to send you explicit messages or picture. That is because he is a dick with absolutely no clue or social skills and BECAUSE you let him "get away with it"!
BLOCK him, UNFRIEND him and move ON. It's... (read in full...)
We split up 3 months ago but he's still living with me showing no desire to move out
Q. Hi I ended my relationship with a lazy selfish partner in January he is addicted to weed and spends hundreds on it a month I told him stupidly he could stay until he found somewhere else to live his parents told him he can move back in with them but ...
A. 14 April 2020: You made the mistake of letting him stay for "as long as he wanted" when you didn't give him a notice with X amount of weeks you got to be out.
So this is a problem of your own creation. He is taking FULL on advantage of your kindness, weakness... (read in full...)
I am fighting myself not to contact her
Q. So someone i worked with is no longer talking to me. She knows that i like her as i always complimented her and even told her straight out "i like you". But something happened that she now ignores me. And i wish i knew what it was because it i...
A. 14 April 2020: You are right it SUCKS to be left in limbo, but texting her a 4th or 5th or more times is not going to change the fact that she IGNORED the first 3 texts.
So obviously, SHE doesn't want to talk to you.
And maybe she asked because she didn... (read in full...)
My neighbors are disrespectful in how to act since policies adopted for coronavirus
Q. Hi guys, I would really appreciate your advice. I live in a country that has introduced a severe measures for fighting the corona virus, including a stay-at-home / work-from-home, all non-essential activities are forbidden. You can go to...
A. 14 April 2020: Should you ignore it?
Yes. What they CHOOSE to do is up to them, I would just politely AVOID any contact with them if you fear they can pass on the virus to you.
Should you "discuss" it with the neighbors? No, what would that do? They have MA... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want specific things out a person you are dating?
Q. Hello Aunt's and Uncle, I havent been on the site for a long time, and for a long time I thought I was content. Its been 2 years or maybe even more since I broke up with my Long Term College Girlfriend, I dated a bit after but havent found a g...
A. 13 April 2020: Sometimes you need to "fine-tune" your standards. What you wanted in high-school from GF might not be what you want/need now at 25.
Figure out what it is you want in a partner AND what you have to offer.
Look over the "list" of what you want... (read in full...)
Why it is that some men nice and loving to the woman that they are dating, yet rude/inconsiderate to other women?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can offer up some answers to my question. I was wondering why it is that some men nice and loving to the woman that they are dating, yet rude/inconsiderate to other women? I first noticed this in college. There w...
A. 13 April 2020: I think "those" kind of men think they win some kind of clout or "brownie points" with other men. They don't want other men to think they are some "weak male feminists". That they think they can "bond" with other people by trash talking. And THAT ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my daughter's posts on Tik Tok, how do I approach this?
Q. Wow! It has been a long time since I came to this app, but I'm finding myself lost and needing help and support. My daughter is almost 13 at the end of the month. She is a typical 12 year old. Great with school work, always wanting to please, ...
A. 12 April 2020: Good job, mom
Keep talking to her, but do consider that YOU decide on her punishment, it's not her job. She doesn't have to like it, you don't have to like it it just have to make sense. To you.
While NO kids like to be disciplined, the... (read in full...)
My partner of 10 years is an alcoholic and porn addict with a bad temper, but he has his good points.. should I leave him? Title
Q. Hey guys! So I've been with my partner 10 years, it isn't all bad and I've learnt a lot through being with him. See, I grew up in a broken home, and though my mum loves me unconditionally, I was never really taught 'how to adult' or how to look ...
A. 12 April 2020: You sound more like you are trying to convince YOURSELF to stay in a relationship that is dead, over and done with. Because IT IS easier. Better the "devil" you know than having to start over, start fresh with someone else.
And you know what? I ... (read in full...)
My partner stresses at me when I'm online gaming.
Q. Hey guys, i play on the xbox most nights with a lad ive known for atleast 7 years, i havnt really spoke to him or played on the console with him for the last 2 years as he played differant games but now hes joined up with me again, but hes met other ...
A. 12 April 2020: I am with N91,
How much time do you actually game?
I'm an avid "gamer" myself, having played for 20 years. I usually play with my husband but occasionally we play different games. I try and limit the time I play during "social hours" so when t... (read in full...)
I feel lonely and unworthy.
Q. Hello all, I've been dealing with feeling really depressed over the fact that I'm living a lonely life. The only reason why I think that I'm important and at least "different" Is that my family is wealthy and I can buy things people can't afford, I ...
A. 12 April 2020: First off, CUT all contact with this ex.
He isn't a good person. You don't NEED him in your life.
Secondly, having money doesn't MAKE you special. 1. it's your parent's money 2. money really and truly can't buy people or happiness. It's ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a guy since 2018 but we don't seem to be progressing forward.
Q. I have been casually seeing this guy since 2018. I am 37 and he's 43. At first it was just sex, and since he's a truck driver and a loner, he's away weeks, months at a time. Fast forward to last summer, we started "dating" and he even attended ...
A. 10 April 2020: I'm absolutely in a agreement with Auntie Cindy.
He has TOLD you what he likes (as far as life-style) and you think if "only" he can SEE how AWESOME you are he will give it up, for you.
He KNOWS how awesome you are. He enjoys it, in smaller d... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of getting a vasectomy without telling my wife.
Q. I'm thinking of getting a vasectomy behind my wifes back. We were only together four months when she got pregnant with our eldest son. She said she was on the pill, thats fine because these things happen and I love her and was pretty delighte...
A. 10 April 2020: I think you HAVE to talk to her.
Getting a vasectomy is not 100% fool proof, not is it honest to get one without her knowing.
Yes, you CAN get pregnant while on birth control pill. Usually, in combination with other medication that causes the ... (read in full...)
Since this guy moved in I am losing my self esteem.
Q. Hi all Dated a guy that I got from my best friend. After 2 months we moved into my house because where he was staying according to him they mistreated him. After 3 months together he started to undermine me, and emotionally abused me.he would talk...
A. 10 April 2020: Ask him to move out.
That really is your only choice. He isn't treating you right.
You know it's NOT you that isn't good enough, OP - it's him.
He needs to go. You need to get back to your own better self and you can't do that with him a... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my daughter's posts on Tik Tok, how do I approach this?
Q. Wow! It has been a long time since I came to this app, but I'm finding myself lost and needing help and support. My daughter is almost 13 at the end of the month. She is a typical 12 year old. Great with school work, always wanting to please, ...
A. 10 April 2020: She is 12 and on the internet without supervision, what do you expect?
I'm sorry, THIS is your JOB as a parent to TALK to her about, to set LIMIT and if necessary, BLOCK her from doing.
Boundaries, limitations, guidance, teaching right f... (read in full...)
A guy I met on a dating site says he is going to talk to other girls..
Q. I met a guy I a dating site. We chatted and exchanged numbers. He was calling and texting me everyday. He came to see me twice. We had sex. He kept calling and text for a few days. Then it just stopped. I looked at his Facebook. He was flirting with ...
A. 10 April 2020: What happened?
You had sex before you knew what kind of man he was. Basically, you gave it up "too fast".
So now that he has had sex with you he wants to "sample" other women too.
Wish him well, block all contact, delete all contact info ... (read in full...)
I might be the father of my cousin's baby.
Q. My second cousin and I were growing up, we always been close. We always did stuff together because we had a lot of things in common. When we were 16 years old, we did have sex with each other. That was the only time until we were 21 years old. ...
A. 9 April 2020: Generally, adoption requires the consent of both parents, provided they meet certain requirements.
Her saying it was a one night's stand doesn't mean the "father" of the baby has no rights. It would be the same if she had kept the child and le... (read in full...)
I'm in lockdown with an abusive husband.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I hope you could give some advice I can use to do something about the situation I am currently in. I understand that these are hard times for everyone. My husband of 20 years and I are locked in in the best possible c...
A. 9 April 2020: Just want to point out that the home-made masks are MOSTLY for a "sense of security" when going out for food runs or whatnot. And they are better than nothing.
Since the virus can spread to and from animals, the fabric face-masks are (again) ... (read in full...)
I've met a 50 year old who lives in his mother's garage.
Q. I recently met a guy who is nearing 50. He has a full time job and has worked in the same place for 20 years. The problem? He lives in his mother's garage. He's not an addict, has a job, has a car, his kids are grown and gone. He's been divorc...
A. 9 April 2020: I too would find it a red flag. It's like he CHOOSES to not really take care of himself.
Living in a garage? So he supposedly eat, bathe, do laundry, cooks (if he cooks) inside the house (or his mother cooks for him, does laundry for him but does... (read in full...)
Can I help the man I love, or will he never change?
Q. Dear Cupid, I 26 am seeing a man who is 29 whom I have known for 10 years. he does nice things for me, he does his own washing, cleans up after himself (present) but here's the thing... 10 years ago when we were younger I was still in school, I...
A. 8 April 2020: Thanks for the update.
So if the money lending was a few $ here and a few here, why did you never say no more until you pay what you have already borrowed? WAY before it got to 4K?
I makes no sense to keep giving someone money who hasn't gotte... (read in full...)
I only want one girl who I can love.
Q. I have been keeping imagine being in love with someone who loves me. Ridiculously,this makes me even more lonely. I have a girl who lives in a remote town in the mountains 3000 kilometers away.She is kind,pretty and pure.I come to acquaint ,like and ...
A. 8 April 2020: She is a fantasy. The person you THINK (in your mind's eye) she is and the ACTUAL real person are two different people. Without doubt.
What you feel is not love. It's a crush on a fantasy person that you have build in your head and imaginat... (read in full...)
What can I do to feel normal again?
Q. Asking this because I'm currently isolating with my family and having moved away at a very young age to get away from them, it's been very difficult mentally and I'm curious to know if my negative feelings are valid or not. I'm sorry if this is long ...
A. 7 April 2020: If you only have 3 more weeks until you can move out, then hunker down in your room. See if you can get prescription for at least a month at a time (or better, 3) so you would need to go out less often. I don't know if your pharmacy can deliver, but ... (read in full...)
Can I help the man I love, or will he never change?
Q. Dear Cupid, I 26 am seeing a man who is 29 whom I have known for 10 years. he does nice things for me, he does his own washing, cleans up after himself (present) but here's the thing... 10 years ago when we were younger I was still in school, I...
A. 7 April 2020: I think you are ABSOLUTELY 100% wasting your time on this guy.
He doesn't ADD much to your life. He is a financial drain on you and dragging you down. OWING you 4,000? Why on EARTH did you lend this guy (who doesn't have a regular job and ins't tr... (read in full...)
I dated a doctor before Corona, now not sure how to behave with him.
Q. A couple of years ago I dated a guy for a couple of months. He was nice but I wasn’t over my long term ex. It ended because he said he couldn’t get my wall down (he was right). In February we bumped in to each other in the pub and went for a coffee ...
A. 7 April 2020: I agree with CMMP,
CALL and talk. Be his "positive" part of live, in the sense that you call and chat about nice things (not illness or news or any other negative things) and make the conversations short and sweet.
I think this really isn'... (read in full...)
My uncle died suddenly, and due to lockdown I cannot be with my parents.
Q. Hi I am feeling very upset and distressed.I am 31 years old and im british from london just some background.My uncle who was barely 60 died on friday :( My fathers older brother. We were close ,he was like a second father and he sacrificed alot ...
A. 7 April 2020: I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss.
My brother lost his other brother in law (his wife's sister's husband) from brain cancer 3 weeks ago. The only allowed 25 people at the funeral (before the new guide lines) He was 52, and left 3 kids a... (read in full...)
I'm in lockdown with an abusive husband.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I hope you could give some advice I can use to do something about the situation I am currently in. I understand that these are hard times for everyone. My husband of 20 years and I are locked in in the best possible c...
A. 7 April 2020: I think you NEED to sit him down and tell him it's unacceptable for him to take his stress, fear, whatever out on you.
That you will not tolerate any more of it. IF he does it again, you will go stay elsewhere.
While I get that some people... (read in full...)
This lockdown is testing our relationship
Q. I've been stuck inside on lockdown for nearly a month now with my other half and his Dad who is our live-in landlord. We're getting to each other, nit-picking, moodswings, the lot. And I know it's because of the unusual circumstances that we're in...
A. 5 April 2020: He isn't a mind reader, remember that.
Him saying why didn't you shout at me (when you moved furniture) it was NOT because he thought you can't do squat on your own or are some helpless, useless female, but because he genuinely WANTED to help. Me... (read in full...)
My husband has locked me out of the bedroom and refuses to talk to me
Q. Dear Cupid My husband of 3 years is refusing to talk to me, i understand with pandemic and staying indoors all the time everyone are frustrated and depressed. But locking me out of master bedroom, is not solving any problem Yesterday during lun...
A. 4 April 2020: So he knows that your father used "silent treatment" as punishment and a way to control you and your mother and he CHOOSES to do the same because he knows it will upset you.
WHAT kind of ASSHAT does that?!
He obviously ENJOYS this. Or it has ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?
Q. I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...
A. 4 April 2020: I wish you good luck OP
I know it's not easy to accept that someone is without for all the wrong reasons and isn't a good match at all, but now that you know, it's time to move forward so you CAN find someone who IS a great match.
So get your d... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?
Q. I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...
A. 3 April 2020: Anon male,
The guy isn't wanting to "spice up" the sex life, because if THAT was his goal he wouldn't JUST ask her for things HE wants HER to do.
He would ASK her what she would like to try and go from there. Find something they BOTH want t... (read in full...)
He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?
Q. I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...
A. 2 April 2020: Oh good lord, dump the asshat!
You two ARE not compatible sexually and that incompatibility spills into the rest of the relationships.
He is withholding the intimacy YOU want because you don't want to do what HE wants sexually.
So in a sens... (read in full...)
I believed in him and now he is a big disappointment! What do I do?
Q. Hi all. My husband and I have been married for nearly 5 years now. Both of us work in the medical field. When we got married he promised me that he would continue to do his higher studies to achieve his dreams. 5 years later, I have managed to get ...
A. 2 April 2020: While I'd say someone in their 30's should have a sense of what they want to achieve (job/career wise) and what they are capable of skill wise, maybe he has come to realize that the field he was looking to get a career in isn't what he really wants ... (read in full...)
I feel he played games and is not supportive.
Q. There was a guy that I liked on my course who is in his 40s. After getting to know him more recently, I have found he is quite anxious. Last week he messaged me as he said what is going on at the moment in the world had scared him. I replied and ...
A. 2 April 2020: If anyone notice you aren't speaking and ask you, just tell them that life is busy. You don't owe them (or him) an explanation.
As for when you get back to the course, it's easy enough to be polite but also avoid spending time with him, if he ne... (read in full...)
I feel he played games and is not supportive.
Q. There was a guy that I liked on my course who is in his 40s. After getting to know him more recently, I have found he is quite anxious. Last week he messaged me as he said what is going on at the moment in the world had scared him. I replied and ...
A. 28 March 2020: Well, now you know.
You tried to move the conversation to a more personal level and he CHOSE to ignore you. Which means he isn't a guy for you, sounds like he has a lot on his plate as it is. Probably the kind of guy who shouldn't even be on datin... (read in full...)
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