When things didn't go the way he wanted with the bank he stopped contact. Was he just using me?
Q. Hello. I am separated for 13 yrs now and I am in a relationship with a man who is 15 yrs older than me. He was my teenage crush, I was 16 yrs old and we kissed once. He is known in our city as a womanizer. We become closer through email (lon...
A. 18 August 2020: Glad the scales fell of your eyes with regards to this man and that you didn't end up bankrupt and brokenhearted.
Chin up.
And take this experience as a learning experience. Don't MIX money and romance.
Hope you are doing well, and thanks f... (read in full...)
I've never had a girlfriend should I just give up?
Q. I'm 27 and never had a girlfriend or date before should i just give up?...
A. 3 August 2020: Maybe finding someone with a similar hobby? So you can get "lost" in that hobby together?
Not having dated in 10 years doesn't mean you NOW NEVER can date, it just means you are a little "behind" on the experience curve. Which again, isn't a ... (read in full...)
Why is he mad that I moved on?? When he did not want me.
Q. My ex fiancé left me for someone else two years ago. He always said he wanted to be friends. Recently, him and I connected over Facebook and began a friendship for the past three months. He was nice at first but when I told him out I had a boy...
A. 26 July 2020: I think if you WANT your current relationship to BE healthy and work out, you NEED to let this ex go and block him. He is not looking out for your best interest or for your new relationship.
He was hoping to re-kindle something with you, maybe be... (read in full...)
I just feel like I'm not as important to him as his drinking buddies and alcohol nights out
Q. My boyfriend is rude to me when he is drunk. Last night he came home at 3am and lay down on the bed fully clothed, lying across my arm and woke me up. I asked him to please move over and he got angry and had a go at me. I had to be up early to go to ...
A. 26 July 2020: I think you know what's up.
I get that you can't (at the moment) afford a place on your own, so you might have to look into a house-share, room-mate situation. I don't think staying is realistic.
He has checked out of the relationship. Yo... (read in full...)
Wife and I fight about chores! She says I don't do enough, but I do the same or more!
Q. My wife and I constantly fight about household chores. She says she is "Tired of doing everything!" My response to her is to point about all the things that I do. In our division of chores, she cooks, I do the dishes, I change the cat litter, w...
A. 26 July 2020: Write down a chore list, hang on the fridge (or wherever it's convenient, maybe make it a dry erase kind ?) and write down the weekly chores and tick them off as you go with your initials.
Is she taking her frustration of not working out of you a... (read in full...)
I've never had a girlfriend should I just give up?
Q. I'm 27 and never had a girlfriend or date before should i just give up?...
A. 25 July 2020: Is that how you want to live life?
When things aren't handed to you, you quit? You give up?
If the batterie on your car dies are you going to stop driving? Just give up?
That's kind of sad. Where is your gumption? Your sense of setting an... (read in full...)
How do I change being judgemental?
Q. I discovered that I’m judgmental. Maybe not in all situations, bit as it turned out in this one, I am. How do I change this? I find it really hard to change the opinion I have. I’m 43 years old and so is my best friend whom I’ve known since kinderga...
A. 25 July 2020: There is a difference between having a different opinion and being judgmental.
Usually, being judgmental is regarded as "having or displaying an excessively critical point of view."
So the point here is EXCESSIVELY CRITICAL.
You know she is... (read in full...)
Why all the pictures but less intimacy, I don’t understand?
Q. Hey there, I am having an issue with my boyfriend for quite some time, he likes to see women in bikinis and watch bikini contests, we honestly don’t have much sex like at the beginning of our relationship we have almost 3 years, I am a good looking ...
A. 25 July 2020: Why do you presume there is something wrong with YOU when HE does this?
You can't control what he CHOOSES to look at online. And you certainly aren't MAKING him look at bikini contests either.
Yes, his medication can definitely play a factor an... (read in full...)
How do women maintain their self worth as they age when everything is about looks?
Q. Scrolling through my general forum I see many interesting topics but every few posts there’s young women’s pictures posted in bikinis or even just in normal clothes with comments on their attractiveness ( or not ) I don’t see any such images of men ...
A. 24 July 2020: How to maintain self-worth as you age?
By not buying into all the tropes and marketing gimmicks. And by not accepting that your LOOKS are your only value in life. It's not. While we human being like youth, symmetry, certain proportions etc. I t... (read in full...)
My wife lost weight is dressing sexy and I'm worried she might stray
Q. During the covid epidemic, my wife started working out hard and has lost the last bit of weight she wanted to. She looks fantastic now, my issue is she has ordered some very short dresses and skirts and now that most of the stores have reopened, she ...
A. 24 July 2020: As a married woman who has lost weight myself, I didn't do it to get attention from other men. I did it for my own well being and health.
Sure, I dress BETTER now. I don't HIDE as much. But I honestly DGASF what OTHER men might think.
I certa... (read in full...)
I know I need to end things and kick my boyfriend out but I don't do it
Q. Hi all, I'm just looking for some relationship advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years. We're both 32. Here is just some background info - 2 and a half years ago, my wonderful grandparents moved into a bungalow as ...
A. 24 July 2020: I wanted to add this, because I re-read your post and I think the reason you haven't kicked him out is because you don't know how to go about it.
So I'd offer this advice:
Check with Citizen's Advice on HOW you evict someone LEGALLY, just to... (read in full...)
Are women equally as shallow as men?
Q. Shallow men only go after attractive women. Would it be fair to say that shallow women only go after bad boys? I notice that bad boys tend to have more "alpha" personalities and therefore higher status in society. Perhaps men are wired to seek ...
A. 24 July 2020: Sure.
I have known women who would only date men with money. I have known men who would only date girls with big breasts fake or not. No personality to speak of. Nothing exceptional except a large chest.
I think women want a MANLY man. But t... (read in full...)
When things didn't go the way he wanted with the bank he stopped contact. Was he just using me?
Q. Hello. I am separated for 13 yrs now and I am in a relationship with a man who is 15 yrs older than me. He was my teenage crush, I was 16 yrs old and we kissed once. He is known in our city as a womanizer. We become closer through email (lon...
A. 23 July 2020: No, no no... DO NOT get a loan THAT big with a guy you knew 20? years ago! OR with someone who you have a romantic attachment to! IT will NOT end well.
The fact that he has stopped contact when the bank didn't want to agree to HIS terms (in way... (read in full...)
Do you think his jokes are actually jokes or is he testing me to see how I respond before asking me out?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles!! I have a guy friend that I have known for many years. I haven’t seen him for 1 year due to him working away. Although now that he’s back, I need help deciphering if he likes me as more than a friend or not. We have alwa...
A. 23 July 2020: I have to agree with FA,
If nothing has EVER come of this in 15 years.... why now?
I also think he is right when it comes to the not testing the waters, just feels comfortable around you. You are a pal, a friend, a buddy but you are also fem... (read in full...)
Would you forgive parents who made your life so miserable?
Q. Hello, I've been raised in a really abusive family. Both my parents are mentally and physically abusive. I have deep hatred towards both of them. Although I have a more closer relationship with my mom, yet she's abusive and manipulative as heck. We ...
A. 23 July 2020: Would I forgive them?
Yes.
Why, you might ask?
Because HATING them only hurts YOU. They don't care. It's equivalent to taking poison and hoping someone else die, you know? Pointless? Simply pointless.
They ARE who they are, they won't cha... (read in full...)
I feel I ruined a friendship due to my behaviour
Q. I met a guy online dating over a year ago he said he wasnt ready for a relationship. He had been single for a couple of month and realised he was just trying to fill a gap left by his ex.He was only on the site for a month but deleted his account ...
A. 21 July 2020: He never says say, he never says no.
Why do you think that is? He is stringing you along. If he told you NOT really interested YOU would move on to someone else and stop wasting your time, right?
He enjoys the fact that YOU like him and tha... (read in full...)
What is this man up to?
Q. I'd be interested on others views and opinions on this, please. A man living in a neighbourhood for two decades starts to look at a single, female neighbour who has lived there for the same time. They do not know each other but are of a similar ...
A. 20 July 2020: Maybe he finds her attractive? He might be married but that doesn't mean he can't notice attractive woman?
Also, why is this any of your business?... (read in full...)
Should I let my mate's daughter to come to our wedding? I know she will cause trouble
Q. Hi there.. please give me your opinion.. so me and my partner have been together 2 yrs and due to get married in October we have a child each who lives with us (his childrens mother past away) he also has 3 other older children that were took in to ...
A. 20 July 2020: I would let her come, IF she behaves badly THAT is on her. Your soon-to-be husband will HAVE to be the one dealing with her if she acts up at the wedding. That shouldn't be YOUR job.
You will probably never "win" with her and you don't have to ... (read in full...)
My husband admitted his affair, said it's over but why is he still contacting his mistress?
Q. My husband just admitted to a long term affair. His mistress put a post on Facebook telling everyone about the affair because they had a spat. So my husband decided hearing it from him would be best. I am devastated by this. And I'm struggling to ...
A. 20 July 2020: He has told you what he THINKS you want to hear. Not how he truly feels.
He still wants his cake and eat it too. So he still want the outward appearance and status of being a married man, but he also wants to keep his mistress.
You are surpr... (read in full...)
I'm horny all the time. Am I a nymphomanic?
Q. In recent years I've been finding myself almost constantly "in the mood" for no reason and without a proper cause. I've woken up horny and went to bed horny, and I've tried every solution I can think of, masturbation of various kinds, having se...
A. 20 July 2020: Hormones? You are probably at your most fertile right now and your body acts accordingly. If your hormones have shifted, you might see an increase or decrease in libido. It's kind of normal.
Porn, is not going to "help" either if you are looking ... (read in full...)
I'm horny all the time. Am I a nymphomanic?
Q. In recent years I've been finding myself almost constantly "in the mood" for no reason and without a proper cause. I've woken up horny and went to bed horny, and I've tried every solution I can think of, masturbation of various kinds, having se...
A. 20 July 2020: Hormones? You are probably at your most fertile right now and your body acts accordingly. If your hormones have shifted, you might see an increase or decrease in libido. It's kind of normal.
Porn, is not going to "help" either if you are looking ... (read in full...)
I know I need to end things and kick my boyfriend out but I don't do it
Q. Hi all, I'm just looking for some relationship advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years. We're both 32. Here is just some background info - 2 and a half years ago, my wonderful grandparents moved into a bungalow as ...
A. 20 July 2020: OK, I see a lot of things here that I want to address:
1. you have LET it go that he is living with you and off you and not looking for a job.
2. you LET him move in without having a budget and told him HIS financial share?
3. I'll quote y... (read in full...)
I feel I ruined a friendship due to my behaviour
Q. I met a guy online dating over a year ago he said he wasnt ready for a relationship. He had been single for a couple of month and realised he was just trying to fill a gap left by his ex.He was only on the site for a month but deleted his account ...
A. 20 July 2020: I think you are fooling yourself when you say you want him in your life, EVEN as a friend.
You didn't drunk text time because you see him as a friend.
You are being unrealistic here.
You have known him for OVER a year and NOTHING has com... (read in full...)
Would it be a good idea to give this relationship another chance, or am I just the rebound girl?
Q. I dated a guy for 1 year. During that time, we never had sex because I was unsure about his intentions, even though he told me that he loved me, so I do realize that some of this is my problem! Towards the end of our year, he began showing interest ...
A. 19 July 2020: I'd give him a wide berth.
If he RECENTLY broke up with someone else and then come fishing around your pond again, it's to HAVE someone, ANYONE.
Either he can't stand being alone, or he doesn't really invest all the deeply in a partner, or he i... (read in full...)
He has my number but he hasn't texted me yet?
Q. I met a guy online and we hit it off pretty well (in my opinion). I was teasing him by calling him Mr. John, then he started to call me Rossie as a way of teasing me back. He started asking me questions about myself, like where I was from and would ...
A. 19 July 2020: Maybe the whole point of the talking online was to "score" a number? So when he got yours he was done?
Or he did get a new phone (even though you can disable auto correct on iPhones too, so why would he get another phone?)
Can I just correct y... (read in full...)
How do I stop talking so much?
Q. I talk to much. It is a habit I always had. Any advice on how to break this habit?...
A. 17 July 2020:
When you say you talk to much, is it a - when you see someone you don't listen to them, you interrupt, or talk over them?
When you meet someone do you just talk and forget to be aware?
What exactly makes you SAY that you talk too much? ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to women?
Q. Hello, I was hoping to get some advice on how to talk to girls. I'm a 28 year old man, unfortunately I've been single all my life. This is probably due to the fact that I have Aspergers. Although it's only 'mild' Aspergers, I've always struggled...
A. 17 July 2020: I'd say start by just greeting 5-10 people EVERY day for a few weeks. If you do get out and about.
The after the two weeks try some small talk with 5 people (doesn't matter if they are young or old or pretty or not)
If women seems to intimid... (read in full...)
My partner's parents live 5 minutes from us. They promised to be there for us but they never are
Q. Hey y'all. I dont know how im to put this without sounding like a hag. When i met my fiancé i had 2 kids in tow. We had one of our own a few years later. During the pregnancy his mom was pretty supportive she reassured me that she would be a ...
A. 16 July 2020: I have to agree with Code Warrior.
You have unrealistic expectations of your in-laws. You sound entitled to something only THEY can choose to do or not do.
And it also sounds like you don't really like them, so it might also be that they aren't... (read in full...)
He's shy should I wait for him to ask me out? Or ask him?
Q. Hi guys. This may come across quite silly and people will probably laugh at a 32 year old asking these sort of questions. I have been single for almost 2 years now after a really bad situation with my ex. I gave myself time to heal and haven't...
A. 16 July 2020: You should tell him next time you interact (IF you can and it fits in with the conversation) that HE should ask you out for coffee or a meal, then give him your number, tell him to call/text if he is interested.
That way you didn't DIRECLY ... (read in full...)
I think we might break up. How do I cancel on boyfriend's birthday
Q. Hi all, I need advice! How should I cancel on my boyfriend. His birthday is on Friday. He is divorced and moved back in with his parents he has a son with his ex. She text him last week saying she wanted to get back with him! Since then he’s...
A. 16 July 2020: Why should you lie?
Just call him up and tell him that you feel he has pulled away since his ex told him she wants him back, and that you don't think it's fair on you... and on him to continue.
WHO cares if he throws a fit? You will be DUMPING ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy not fully hard to ejaculate quickly because he's nervous?
Q. I am divorced and recently had sex, I guess, with a guy I had been talking to for awhile but just met for the first time. He would go in shortly while not fully hard and when, I asked him what was wrong he said he was really nervous and afraid he'd ...
A. 16 July 2020:
Do you control his body? His mind?
No?
Well, why would it be an insult to you?
The fact that he came after only 30 seconds might mean he reacted strongly to feeling your body, he didn't even need to be fully hard.
Can it be nerves? O... (read in full...)
He's 8 years younger than me and his grandmother told me to tell him to go away
Q. hello my name is Ashley and I really need your help. I am 29 years old with 2 kids and single mom. I met a guy two weeks ago and he is 21. I met him when I went to drop off my kids so his grama can watch them for me and she is the manager to the ...
A. 15 July 2020: He is 21, OP
He sounds immature and honestly? Like someone who wants to take advantage of the situation for some "fun". You are a single mother of 2 kids, so you probably don't have much time for dating or meeting a proper guy.
If his grand ... (read in full...)
Dating a straight guy who regrets it
Q. So I’ve been sort of seeing this guy and his straight well bi but in denial And everytime we get in the deep at the end he says it’s wrong and it shouldn’t happen. His single but had loads of girlfriends. We have great chemistry and both just wa...
A. 15 July 2020: I think you should leave him be so he can figure out what he REALLY wants.
If he is bi, he might still prefer women. He might think he SHOULD prefer women. He might just enjoy something WAY more casual with BOTH men and women, whereas YOU are read... (read in full...)
My heart is breaking, time for me to move on?
Q. I need help to move on from a past love interest. I have known a man who is 48 years old for 6 years from my walking group. I am in my 30s, I'm shy but am still able to interact with him. He is also reserved but popular with people in the group the ...
A. 14 July 2020: Absolutely agree with Anonymus,
You have written about this man MANY times, and nothing has really changed or will change.
You need to get your head out of the clouds and stop living in your imagination of the "could be", maybe, what if" ... (read in full...)
My daughter doesn't want to spend the whole access weekend with me.
Q. I am feeling so hurt and crushed right now. I had phone call exchange with my daughter who is ten years in age and lives with her dad at a hundred miles distance. My daughter has decided that when she comes to my home next fortnight, she o...
A. 14 July 2020: Kids, who's parents went through a rough divorce have a lot to try and sort out. From loyalty, trust, respect but also to testing boundaries.
I don't think a CHILD should be in charge of YOUR house rules. I have older kids (youngest is 16) and ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my controlling mother always complaining?
Q. Honestly, I have no idea whether it is a good idea to be posting my issue here and ask for some advice. But here goes... I am aware that Covid has been hard on literally everyone and it has challenged people in so many ways. My heart bleeds for...
A. 14 July 2020: I'd say talk to your dad.
He seems to understand that she is not being herself and that YOU need a break. I think I would bring it up to him that you NEED a little time away from the house and your mom and that you would like to go "insert ... (read in full...)
I’ve split up with my ex of 5 years but think I still love him
Q. I’m in a really tough situation. I’ve split up with my ex of 5 years but think I still love him. When we were together he suffered a really traumatic death in his family which has affected him badly. His whole personality and behaviour has changed, ...
A. 14 July 2020: I'd minimize the contact as much as possible.
So nothing outside of kid talk, arrangement involving the child. Nothing personal any more.
Even if he DID get help he STILL lashed out at you, he STILL hurt you. Him getting help doesn't change t... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my boyfriend in over a month I'm worried
Q. Hi my boyfriend when out of the country last March due to his dad being in COVID-19 we agree to email each other while he is away the recent email I received from him is May 26 which he told he will let me know first when he is coming back and then ...
A. 14 July 2020: I will second Kenny's questions.
If you know his address, send him a snailmail letter.
If you know his phone number call him!
Also what country is he in?... (read in full...)
I love him but can't let him hold me back
Q. Well I’m not too sure how to start but here goes nothing.... I’ve been with my partner for coming on a year now, we’re both the same ages (24). We are exactly the same person in some ways, it’s great we’re like best friends but some days we do ...
A. 14 July 2020: I think you have been very honest about it all, and used some common sense.
Staying with your mom 2 days a week will save you money. Money that you don't have a lot of as it is. Also, YOU should be in charge of YOUR finances, and thus YOU know how... (read in full...)
We had a disagreement and now he's not texting me
Q. Hi I have a very new thing going on for 2 weeks to early to call it a relationship we had a little disagreement over something silly just over a week ago now he’s gone very strange on me not texting me hardly only if I have text him which has only ...
A. 13 July 2020: Stop apologizing. You have already done that at least once. No need to flog a dead horse.
You glossed over what you two argued over, so if it WAS just a minor "silly" little thing it shouldn't create these kind of waves 2 weeks in IF you are both... (read in full...)
Is it normal to spend every minute of every day together?
Q. Hello. I hope all is well. I’ve been dating this guy I met at school for five months and this is my first real relationship. I just have a question since I don’t have much relationship / dating / experience. Is it normal to spend every minute of ...
A. 13 July 2020: I think it's very typical in the beginning to want to spend a LOT of time with a new partner but every waking moment? It's a bit much. You two are still your own people.
Take some me time.
Go for a walk, a swim (if you live near a beach or ... (read in full...)
How Do I Become Consistent w/ Communicating With My Boyfriend?
Q. Hello, I need advice on communicating better with my partner. Recently, because of the pandemic, I have been seeing my boyfriend less. We stopped visiting each other and going out. Now, all we do is text. He also still works daily, but I don't. I ...
A. 13 July 2020: Set up some Skype/Facetime dates.
That way you can "talk" in sorta person in-between texting.
You CAN NOT carry on a relationship over texting. It's too easy to misinterpret or like you, let your imagination run a bit amok.
Find a hobby or... (read in full...)
I told him I would leave if I caught him doing drugs. Its happened again but I don't want to confront him
Q. When I first met this guy, I knew he did hardcore drugs, but he just up and gave it up for me. We've been together almost 7 years now, and yesterday was the 3rd time he accidentally left a syringe laying around in his stuff, I was not going through ...
A. 11 July 2020: I know the HARD part of this question is that you FEEL love for him and want all the GOOD things to happen for him.
But that is not where he is at.
His "love" is for the drugs and the high he gets.
Know this OP, YOU can love someone and NOT... (read in full...)
My daughter doesn't want to spend the whole access weekend with me.
Q. I am feeling so hurt and crushed right now. I had phone call exchange with my daughter who is ten years in age and lives with her dad at a hundred miles distance. My daughter has decided that when she comes to my home next fortnight, she o...
A. 9 July 2020: Why not focus on OTHER activities to do together instead of the TV? Like baking together. Learning to crochet or go for hikes, picnic outside (or the living room), museums, etc.
I don't think having a time limit on TV time is strange, but if you o... (read in full...)
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