Am I really a horrible selfish person? My mother makes me feel like that. Or is the problem my mother's moods?
Q. I'm a 21 yr old female still living at home with my mother, maternal grandmother, younger brother and cat. On good days I can deal with my mother. She jokes around and she's calm. But on bad days she's easily set off, moody, stubborn. Today ...
A. 6 December 2013: Well it could be hormonal mood swings, it could be SHE is depressed, stressed, financially screwed and hating HER life right now and not dealing with it well.
I would sit her down when she seems in a good mood, and talk to her about how you feel... (read in full...)
I don't want to share! I am very drawn to her, but she's married. What to do?
Q. So I'm a lesbian. Recently a woman on a dating site messaged me. She seems very lovely as she is beautiful, smart, funny and we have a lot in common. The problem is, she's married to a man. It sounds like they have an open relationship deal or ...
A. 6 December 2013: I wouldn't touch a married person if they were the last one out there for me to hook up with. And then having an open marriage or not, it's NOTHING but drama.
YOU will be sharing her. With her husband and possible other people. You will just be ... (read in full...)
I want to know what this guy wants from me?
Q. Two weeks ago I went to a thanksgiving dinner for my college organization club and met this guy there. He began talking to me first and took pictures with me and told me I was gorgeous and even got my number. I left and he texted me later on that ...
A. 6 December 2013: I'm with SVC.
You CAN NOT conduct a healthy relationship or a BUDDING one through text. CALL him.
He ONLY text 4 times a day? JEEPERS!... (read in full...)
I want to tell my fiancée I sometimes wear women's panties, but I'm afraid of what she'll think!
Q. Hello everyone, I've got an odd thing goin on. Basically I like to wear girls panties, but mainly just when I masturbate or at night when goin to bed. It makes me feel more intimate and they are more comfortable than my boxers. I sometimes wear them ...
A. 6 December 2013: Would it bother me? No not really, as long as you keep your mits out of MY panties.
Would I think there was more to it then panties, you can bet your bottom dollar I would.
She is your fiance so I DO think you should tell her. ... (read in full...)
How many is too many?
Q. How many sexual partners is bad by the age of 18? I was 18 at the end of July and I've slept with 8 people and had additional sexual partners. I was just wondering is this bad already, or if not, at what point does it get bad?...
A. 6 December 2013: I agree with most of the aunties.
IF YOU are OK with your number you wouldn't ask on here if it is OK.
iAmHereToHelpYou asked some valid questions.
First and foremost why you do it.
How to you view sex? Does it mean something to you? D... (read in full...)
Why would a mother neglect her child and call them names?
Q. Dear helpers, I have a story to tell and questions to ask and I have no idea where to start. My problem is I never felt loved by my mother and I have no idea why. Let me explain this. I am not some teenager complaining about parents' ways....
A. 6 December 2013: I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine growing up like that.
My guess is your mom grew up in a household where favoritism and sibling rivalry was common, she might even have been in your "spot" so to speak growing up. Now THAT would make mos... (read in full...)
Way back then, on the way to school, I was bullied. I still resent that my parents didn't do enough to stop the bullying. What can I do now?
Q. Becoming a parent has made me think about this a lot. My parents live next to a primary school. They used to make me walk to school. Nobody does this any more. even if you live close. So I was an easy target. These two brothers would verbally ...
A. 6 December 2013: You let it go. Holding on to that anger is getting you no where.
What you CAN do though, IS not repeat what your parents did with your own children. LEARN from their mistake.
As for walking to school.. Um my kids walked to school last 1/2 ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 6 December 2013: Are you on any kind of assistance? IF you are I would look into legal advice through there, some places provide pro-bono work, where you can get the advice and help with filing (though the filing you would have to pay for).
It is not an amiable ... (read in full...)
He's going on a holiday without me after I've been asking him for a year!
Q. I need some advice regarding my boyfriend going on a snowboarding holiday. For a full year I have asked him if he wants to go on holiday with me, he says he does, but whenever I speak about holidays or point any out he always finds something ...
A. 6 December 2013: I think you should round up your female friend and arrange a holiday with them. He doesn't sound like he wanted to go on a holiday with you, yet (if at all).
There are no rules that because you are dating you HAVE to do everything together... (read in full...)
What can I say to make things better with my fiancée, and why have I upset her so much?
Q. My fiancee is not speaking to me apart from to say she thinks we should break up. It all started the other day when we were going to a Sci Fi convention. She was ok to go with me but I could tell she was a bit bored. When we got home, I asked her if ...
A. 5 December 2013: Talk about FOOT - no FEET in mouth there!
MAN, you said the dumbest thing EVER to your fiance when you uttered that sentence.
EVEN if that is how you feel, that was jut plain DUMB.
SHE went to a SI-FI convention even if it was the most BORIN... (read in full...)
I know I'm chilled and laid back, but a man called me "boring"! How can I change giving that impression?
Q. I have been single now for about 2 years. I don't really date much but I went out with a Co worker the other night, we just went to dinner. Physically I know he's attracted to me but he did mention to me that I was "boring". I right away felt a bit ...
A. 5 December 2013: I think he said the first word that came into his mind, not THINKING that calling a girl BORING is a really bad move.
Then he back-peddled as fast as he could, when you told him it offended you. You know he could just have called you uncompli... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but is now ignoring me after (wrongly) accusing me of cheating!
Q. I really like this one guy, and I'll name him "N". He's the very first guy that I've ever fallen for after so many years, and he knew that I like him. So, we hooked up lots of times, had drinks together, we hung out and we became very, very close, ...
A. 5 December 2013: N is a dumbass, he doesn't want to DATE you or be in a RELATIONSHIP, yet he thinks he can tell you whom you can be friends with? Really? And that is OK with you?
YOU are not his, he made that clear when he told you he doesn't WANT a relation... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but doesn't trust me to carry out his wishes!
Q. My son's father has been dating me now for 15 years. We have seen turbulent times. He left me after the birth of our son and started seeing a coworker of his. This relationship lasted about 4 years. He denied it was anything more than a casual ...
A. 5 December 2013: He should pick someone else, not someone he CHEATED on you with - I don't care if they had sex with penetration or not, he CHEATED on you with her for 4 years. So how he can think she would be LESS bias towards anyone (specially you, since he left ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 5 December 2013: No you do NOT have to keep her with you for 6 months WTF is she thinking?!
You do not have to take her to court.
Depending on what STATE you are in you CAN go file a eviction notice at the local court house (not that expensive I believe).
C... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out? Do I or don't I?
Q. Hello, I've got abit of a dilemma, their is a woman that lives down my street, we say hello when we see eachother and the other day, she saw me outside a house that I've recently bought. She said how its nice and I made abit of a cheeky comment ...
A. 5 December 2013: If you DO ask her out give her plenty of time in advance if she needs to find a bay-sitter.
Instead of the note, I would just ask her next time you see her. SO what if she says no, thanks? At least you asked.... (read in full...)
My ex overstepped the mark!
Q. Hi, my ex (we broke up 4 years ago and are now 'friends', albeit distant) came to visit me, to give me a present for my birthday. He said his last train was at 22:30. Then we got something to eat. He was taking forever finishing his glass of wine ...
A. 5 December 2013: to desiree075
No, I don't think it's rude (anywhere in the world)to not write a "Thank you note", but it would just be "easier" then feeling bad for not wanting to call and say thank you.
And just because she feels a little OVER this ex and... (read in full...)
Found out he cheated before we broke up
Q. I just found out that my ex-boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the last 2 weeks of our relationship. We broke up in May, about 6 months ago, and I just found this out last night. We have been arguing/talking ever since but now that I officially know ...
A. 5 December 2013: What you CAN do it write him a letter (don't mail it) LET it all out, cuss, "yell" say exactly how you feel and how it made you feel. then let it sit in a drawer for a week, re-read it - edit it if need be, then put it back in the drawer.
Once ... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out? Do I or don't I?
Q. Hello, I've got abit of a dilemma, their is a woman that lives down my street, we say hello when we see eachother and the other day, she saw me outside a house that I've recently bought. She said how its nice and I made abit of a cheeky comment ...
A. 5 December 2013: Do you know if she is single or married/dating? If not I would try and figure that out BEFORE asking her out.
Anyone else you know on the street that might know her?... (read in full...)
My ex overstepped the mark!
Q. Hi, my ex (we broke up 4 years ago and are now 'friends', albeit distant) came to visit me, to give me a present for my birthday. He said his last train was at 22:30. Then we got something to eat. He was taking forever finishing his glass of wine ...
A. 5 December 2013: I don't think he "forgot" the time, I think he planned to miss the train and having to stay with you. He was HOPING to at least have a little roll in the hay for "old times sake" - specially since he got you a present.
You can just let the cont... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend to be with me and now I am having a hard time trusting him!
Q. Hello. How do you learn to trust someone? My boyfriend cheated on a girlfriend to be with me. He left her for me. Now we are a couple. We have been for about 6 months. He claims how much he cares about me and treats me well over all. Spea...
A. 5 December 2013: I guess when you answer you own question with advice like this:
"Every relationship is different and there are those that do survive after a rocky start. Maybe, just maybe, he was with the wrong person and you are now the right one.
Good luck... (read in full...)
He spent a month chasing me and I finally gave in, so shouldn't he be happy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we recently broke up. I went no contact with him for a month. During this period he tried calling, texting, social media and even showing up to places or bars that I normally go too. He even left ...
A. 5 December 2013: And did you ask him what "square 1" entails?
Maybe getting back together isn't such a good idea. What made you two break up in the first place?... (read in full...)
He expects me to be ready at a moment's notice?
Q. I'm starting to get a bit annoyed at my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. He has a habit of calling me and expecting me to be ready to see him at a moment's notice, and if I say I can't he doesn't seem to understand why not. For ...
A. 5 December 2013: I think he is being ridiculous. HE IS expecting you to sit ready and waiting for him to call, and then WHEN he "snaps" his finger you are supposed to come running?
Have you actually EXPLAINED that it's not working for you? And is this somethin... (read in full...)
Found out he cheated before we broke up
Q. I just found out that my ex-boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the last 2 weeks of our relationship. We broke up in May, about 6 months ago, and I just found this out last night. We have been arguing/talking ever since but now that I officially know ...
A. 4 December 2013: I understand your sense of "revenge" or righteousness but the thing is, you can tell HER off, you can tell HIM off, you can tell the whole world about his betrayal, facts of the matter is, SHE probably knew it, HE definitely knew it, maybe even some ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't know what he wants from the relationship
Q. For the last 2 weeks my boyfriend says he doesn't know what he wants. We are meeting for a drink this week end to talk. I have backed of to give him space. I said if he doesn't know what he wants we shouldn't be together but he doesn't want to ...
A. 4 December 2013: Errr I WOULDN'T have sex.. sorry for the typo there.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't know what he wants from the relationship
Q. For the last 2 weeks my boyfriend says he doesn't know what he wants. We are meeting for a drink this week end to talk. I have backed of to give him space. I said if he doesn't know what he wants we shouldn't be together but he doesn't want to ...
A. 4 December 2013: He doesn't want to be together but doesn't want to break up, well, honey that is not possible. You are either together or you are NOT.
It seems like he is putting all the blame on YOU (being bossy) and stress at work. So If this relation... (read in full...)
When I jokingly told my B/f that I'm going out on a hot date, he said "the only date you'll get is that homeless guy who sleeps in the bus shelter"! Ouch!!
Q. Hi. When I called my boyfriend last night, after not seeing him nor hearing from him for a few days, he said he's very busy. I jokingly said in that case I'm going out on a hot date. To which he replied: "the only date you'll get is that homeless...
A. 4 December 2013: Wow, forget his incredible asinine remark. Obviously you can do better then that, he just wanted to ruin your going out and having fun. So he lashed out. Pretty immature and pretty low blow.
No matter how busy you are calling your BF/GF once a d... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 4 December 2013: Maybe you need to try celibacy for 6 months. (or more) Focus on other things then sex, hooking up, partying, being the center of attention.
Have you thought of volunteering? You get LOADS of healthy attention, you will met people who will benefit ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend to be with me and now I am having a hard time trusting him!
Q. Hello. How do you learn to trust someone? My boyfriend cheated on a girlfriend to be with me. He left her for me. Now we are a couple. We have been for about 6 months. He claims how much he cares about me and treats me well over all. Spea...
A. 4 December 2013: So let me get this straight, you were cheated on in your last relationship and it hurt.. YET you HELPED your BF do the exact same ting to his GF.
I think trust is not impossible to build, but when the foundation is build on lies (and yea, I bet he... (read in full...)
What does it take to attract a woman beyond friendship?
Q. I am seriously confused by this. No matter what I do, how hard or little I try, how direct or subtle I am about my intentions, women only seem to want to be “just friends” with me. At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all. “You’re such a ...
A. 4 December 2013: Maybe go out and take a class, find (or revive)a hobby. GO out and MEET new people, not with the intent to FIND someone, but to become better at socializing.
If you LOOK hard for something it gets harder to find. Car key lost in the house, c... (read in full...)
I am struggling to accept it for myself
Q. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I am bisexual, and I'm really struggling. I've always been a big LGBTQ rights activist, done fundraisers and been to gay pride. My parents wouldn't have a problem with me being bisexual, which is not ...
A. 4 December 2013: Your sexuality is not ALL that defines you. There is more to you then what gender you are attracted to. You are also a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a student and so forth.
Not knowing 100% what to label yourself or accept a label is prett... (read in full...)
Does getting back into a relationship with an ex ever work out?
Q. Hey I have a question. Does getting back into a relationship with an ex ever really work out? I was with a girl for two years and we have been broken up for a year now. I took it really hard when her and I broke up. I have had 2 short term relat...
A. 4 December 2013: I don't know from personal experience if it ever works. I have NEVER gotten back with an ex. There was only ONE I would have ever considered going back to, but after we broke up (amiably) we seemed to just take two very different paths, yet we have ... (read in full...)
I managed to get out of a toxic, abusive relationship but now my ex wants me back...
Q. I had been in a relationship for two years. From the moment we met our love was very passionate and intense. However, are fights were also very intense. From my opinion it appeared to me that he had a very bad temper. When we would get in fights he ...
A. 4 December 2013: 2 months and he is all CHANGED? Really? YOU think that is even remotely possible?
I think you NEED to cut the contact 100% with him. He is quite the controlling and manipulative guy isn't he? And this crying and crap is just a new form of manipula... (read in full...)
I still love this man. So be nice. But we've been separated 3 years. We have adult children. Yet he tells his Gfs that he can't divorce, due to our children. What's he playing at?
Q. We've been separated for 3 years! He is telling his so called girlfriend he hasn't sought a divorce because of our kids. Our kids are adults!! I don't think he doesn't want to divorce me, I caught him cheating, I was devastated he begged...
A. 4 December 2013: Why not file the divorce papers yourself?
He isn't doing the divorce because it's his ACE in his dating games. He can date anyone and not have to commit to anything MORE then dating. Because he "can't". He isn't divorced...
Why stay married (te... (read in full...)
Am I friend-zoned or is she not interested? And should I persist or give up and break contact?
Q. I've been casual friends with a woman i've known for about two months. I kept getting mixed signals from her one day she'd be really warm another day she'd be really cold. Anyhow I asked her out on a date and this is what she told me: 'I apprecia...
A. 4 December 2013: I'm not sure what a "casual friendship is" but if it's involves sex (call it a F-buddy relationship then because it's not about FRIENDSHIP).
I think IF you want to date her and a SERIOUS relationship with her that isn't a "casual thing" - then tel... (read in full...)
Last month Court found me "not guilty' and her accustions as "false". But this girl has ruined my life. How do I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need any advice I can get. I was in a very volatile, messy relationship. At first I thought this girl was amazing. She was beautiful, independent, all of the above. After a few months things didn't appear to be as what they should ...
A. 4 December 2013: I'm sorry you went through something like this.
My only suggestion or advice is that you find a therapist. You need some tools to work through what happened and I don't think there is any books that can do that for you, a therapist hopefull... (read in full...)
What does it take to attract a woman beyond friendship?
Q. I am seriously confused by this. No matter what I do, how hard or little I try, how direct or subtle I am about my intentions, women only seem to want to be “just friends” with me. At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all. “You’re such a ...
A. 4 December 2013: Personally, I have never dated a friend. Friends are friends - potential partner is a whole other kettle of fish. Though back when I was your age (20+ years ago), the lines between friendships/relationships weren't so blurred as they seem to be ... (read in full...)
Been set up with this guy and wonder about his insecurities
Q. How do I know if I really like this guy? So my friend and her husband set me up with their single guy friend. He lives in another country and is only 45mins on the plane. I don't mind it. We've been talking on the phone and Skype se...
A. 3 December 2013: Hmm, I think he is a little too much for my taste - thw whole insecurities on his side is kind of controlling too if you look at it, you BARELY know him and he wants to know who you talk to and what you do 24/7?
If there are no other "red flag" wi... (read in full...)
I'm afraid this woman might out of jealousy try to turn my tutor against me
Q. I'm almost finished a PhD programme and have to meet regularly as part of this with a particular group of people, led by a couple of tutors, to debate various issues. I love attending the group and I know that most people at college like and ...
A. 3 December 2013: Ignore her high-school games. If she doesn't include you, then don't include her.
I have no doubt that your tutor is smarter then you give him credit for.
As for the group I (personally and yes it might seem petty) but I would SURELY minimize ... (read in full...)
Aunt died a year ago on the 11th due to cancer, now I'm being tested for it. Advice?
Q. Hello my aunts and uncles! I really could do with a tad of advice as I am slightly worried. I do not expect any medical advice and only wish for some support and general opinions. My aunt died a y...
A. 3 December 2013: That IS scary, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, BUT like SVC you have AGE on your side and all the research and advancements in care, treatments and curing since your Aunt passed.
The sooner you test the sooner you know where you stand. A... (read in full...)
Was my reaction to his bad judgement over the top?
Q. Hey there! My boyfriend and 8 others grew moustaches to raise money for charity last month. When he first mentioned this he talked about what style he might have. He said he may grow a hitler style. I come from a background where i grew up in ...
A. 3 December 2013: If he is in the same age group as you put up (41-50) then he should KNOW better. There is nothing FUNNY about Hitler. And I just don't get how he can think that Hitler and a charity event somehow go together, let alone the whole Nazi Salute. It's ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to admit I like him?
Q. So one of my best guy friends and I talk quite a bit. Well so I don't have a boyfriend or anything. He has a girlfriend though. Anyway so for about two weeks or so he's been asking me who I like. I kept telling him that I wasn't going to say who. ...
A. 3 December 2013: Since he has a GF I wouldn't have told him, but it's kind of too late for that now.
I agree with Maureen you should jut have told him none of your beeswax instead of playing games.
If things start to get awkward, you will know why.... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 2 December 2013: Nothing wrong in enjoying attention, but what IS wrong (and you know this) is that you seem to think that ANY ATTENTION will do. Which means you will sleep with a guy just because he payed attention to you? Am I reading you right?
And that you... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 2 December 2013: Have you ever tried to get to know a person you slept with? Or a guy BEFORE sleeping with him? Obviously you don't have a problem taking them TO bed but everything else you do seem to not be able to grasp.
You have never had a male friend? ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 2 December 2013: I have learned many things in life, one of the more important things goes to regrets. IF you know something you are wanting to do or thinking you will do and you KNOW beyond doubt that you WILL regret it (maybe you have done the same thing in the ... (read in full...)
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