Came home unexpectedly and found husband in strange situation. Is he gay?
Q. Dear everyone, Hi I have been married to my husband since May 11th 2013. We havebeen together for almost 8 years. He has never shown any signs of being bi sexual or gay. Well the other morning he didn't expect me home for awhile but my daughter...
A. 21 November 2013: I'm sorry.
You said you are in counseling? Marriage counseling? So has there been other things that has made you think something is going on?
I don't think it's because he is gay, but it could be he is curious. And if you two are having probl... (read in full...)
Questions on sex and HIV...
Q. I've just read the stats about HIV and I'm shocked as too how many people were diagnosed in 2012. I have a few questions.. 1. How does a man get HIV off a woman? It seems there wouldn't be enough fluid exchanging. 2. How common is it to ge...
A. 21 November 2013: Your best bet is to talk to your doctor about this. And to get tested + do not have unprotected sex with a guy until you are both tested and have come clean on 2 HIV tests.
The reason the number is so high is because people are more careless... (read in full...)
I'm starting to believe all lesbians are of the lower class and are unmotivated without ambition. Where are all the stable single lesbians?
Q. Why is my dating pool so tragic? It's like all the women I've tried to take serious were going nowhere in life. I don't judge never did but today I realized they all have the no drive in common to be and do something greater in life. My first chic ...
A. 20 November 2013: Where do you FIND the women you have been dating? My guess is you look in ALL the wrong places.
... (read in full...)
Came home unexpectedly and found husband in strange situation. Is he gay?
Q. Dear everyone, Hi I have been married to my husband since May 11th 2013. We havebeen together for almost 8 years. He has never shown any signs of being bi sexual or gay. Well the other morning he didn't expect me home for awhile but my daughter...
A. 20 November 2013: That is super odd.
If something smells fishy IT is most likely.. fishy.
Why would your husband drop his shorts/underwear on the stairs if the neighbor was sitting in his living room? And if he never takes baths, again... why would the one ti... (read in full...)
How can I fix this big mess I caused?
Q. Please read this before you jump into conclusions that anyone is over reacting thank you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html So I messed up again. I saw someone come down my street with what looked like he...
A. 20 November 2013: Should have been isn't..
There isn't much.. sorry not enough coffee yet..... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wouldn't be sending flowers to his ex girlfriend every year on that date, would he?
Q. I saw that my boyfriend has been forwarding himself an email about a reminder notice to send flowers the last couple of days . I had seen it quickly over his shoulder and then took a peek yesterday which I don't normally do! The flowers were ...
A. 20 November 2013: Could be for his mom?
Ask him. That is the ONLY way you will find out. I can't see what's wrong in asking.
I wouldn't MENTION the ex though, but I would ask him who he needs a reminder to send flowers to.
You say you don't WANT to ask, b... (read in full...)
Boyfriend comes before coworker but how do I not hurt my coworker?
Q. I have a boyfriend who I love dearly. He's my best friend and I would do anything for him. We've been together for 2 years and have known each other for 3. He's the only one that I want. I have a coworker who has recently been acting different...
A. 20 November 2013: I just would nip this in a bud with your co-worker. HE is not looking for a friend. He is looking for a "fwb" or a new GF and YOU are in his sights.
Do not hang out with him while your BF is away. Go to work, be polite, be friendly but keep you... (read in full...)
New man that is too protective? Or ex who left me?
Q. Please help,I have a child by my first boyfriend. He cheated and left me when I got pregnant. After a year, he came back and we got back together. After six months together,I left him for because he did not call me for weeks. I have a new boyfriend ...
A. 20 November 2013: Seems like NEITHER would be my answer.
The new guy is controlling and tries to micromanage you.(Not sure what you mean about he can't buy you a birthday present)If you marry him this behavior of his will only intensify. He doesn't trust you, tha... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is mentoring a girl and I don't feel comfortable with it
Q. I have been talking to (and now dating) this guy since school started, and things are definitely moving forward. We hang out regularly but still engage in our own friends and interests. He shares a lot with me but there's one thing that has been ...
A. 20 November 2013: I think you shouldn't date him, because you are already having serious insecurities about a "little" he is mentoring. Mentoring is a GREAT thing to do for someone and honestly, I would be rather miffed if some jealous GF ruined that.
If you do t... (read in full...)
How can I fix this big mess I caused?
Q. Please read this before you jump into conclusions that anyone is over reacting thank you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html So I messed up again. I saw someone come down my street with what looked like he...
A. 20 November 2013: Well, there is much you can do about this. But you CAN learn from it. DO not jump to conclusions and accuse people of things unless you are actually 100% certain. YOU don not call the police on a co-worker like that, on a hunch.
You have talked t... (read in full...)
I recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wife's privates on her phone!
Q. Hello everyone, i need your help...i recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wifes privates on her phone. we have been married for 9 years and she has never done anything like this. i checked the dates on the pics and they have been take...
A. 20 November 2013: Honestly, I can't see why she would take those pictures and keep them on her phone if she didn't intend on sending them to someone. If there was 1 or 2 I could MAYBE think that she got cold feet and didn't do it, but you said there were several. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied and cheated for over a year and got another woman pregnant. Should I dump him?
Q. Should I dump my boyfriend he has fathered a child with another woman and lied and deceived me for nearly a year he was having sex with both ov us but I had no idea he was cheating neither did the other girl know about me. He told me cause I caught ...
A. 20 November 2013: He doesn't wish it had never happened, he wishes he hadn't got caught.
How can you trust ANYTHING coming out of his mouth?
For nearly a year he played you both. The result.. a child.
Personally, I would walk now, before YOU have a child ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend tells me I'd look better if I lost weight then regrets it and tells me I look fine! What's going on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. We're in a really happy relationship except for one thing. On occasion he has told me that I'd look better if I lost half a stone. He also tells me frequently (in a jokey way but I see a serious ...
A. 19 November 2013: OK I can maybe see dumb fella can mention his preference and his desire for YOU to lose weight, ONCE. But this is not a one time incident, this is him whittling at your self confidence. There is nothing wrong with your height or your weight. And I ... (read in full...)
I want to be open with my parents and not hide things but I don't know how to talk to them
Q. Well, here goes nothing. I'm 18 years old and I've been dating this guy for a while now and hes wanting to have a baby, along with that I could possibly be pregnant. Right now I am living at home and my parents have no idea I even have a boyfriend. ...
A. 19 November 2013: I think you should:
1. go see a doctor and confirm that you are either pregnant or not.
2. If you are NOT pregnant, then for goodness sake GET on birth-control. You are 18 - there is absolutely NO hurry to get knocked up now, even if your BF ... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't approve of the man that I love
Q. Hi, I am marsha. I am 25 year old graduated last year. I love someone who is younger than me. WE were friends before. I know him past 3 year now. We got close like best friend the end of 3year. Then one fine day he asked me out .. not just dating b...
A. 19 November 2013: I'm with chigirl, has she given you a reason?
How much younger is he?
If you two have been friends for 3 years that isn't like dating for 3 years. There is a whole other level to dating and marriage brings it up another few notches too (as ... (read in full...)
He said he was single, but now I find out about his terminal girlfriend
Q. I've just found out that this guy I have been getting to know has a girlfriend and that she is terminally ill. I confronted him and he says he just needs someone to support him through this time. I feel sick to my stomach because we have kissed a ...
A. 19 November 2013: Wow, what a jerk!!
Now, I get that having someone THAT close to you terminally ill makes you feel that illness is running the relationship and is the "center" of attention in the relationship, so talking to a healthy (in your case) woman makes hi... (read in full...)
Not close to anyone in my family and hate feeling so alone
Q. Hey everyone. I first want to say I appreciate everyone taking their time to read this and give their advice. This is truly a great site. I'm not trying to have a pity party here but this is something I want to get off my chest and maybe even s...
A. 19 November 2013: Families are not just those whom you share genes and blood. The beauty of your situation is that YOU get to create your own.
I have a large family, I haven't seem most of them (except my Dad) in over 10 years. We do communicate a bit but it's not... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think it's silly that a lot of chicks still think they're virgins after giving bjs?
Q. I just think it's really silly. I mean, I guess they'd be technical virgins, but to say you're pure after having a d--k in your mouth is just absolutely ridiculous to me. But I've heard A LOT of girls say they're still virgins after. Am I the only ...
A. 19 November 2013: It is a sexual action (BJ) but the technical term for virginity is PENIS inserted in VAGINA. So they could have dicks coming out of their ears and still call themselves virgins.
Some people even see themselves as virgins after anal sex - because ... (read in full...)
Do other people have frenenemies? Or just friends?
Q. I have friends but I am quite sure that they are mostly frenemies. Things have happened and they have behaved in certain ways and done things that have proven they are not a true friend. Does anybody else feel this way? Is this normal?...
A. 19 November 2013: I wouldn't keep "frenemies" around, there is a reason they aren't friends and I don't have room for toxic people.
I think it's ridiculous to keep people around who you don't care for and you know don't care about you either.
So many it's time t... (read in full...)
Haven't seen him for years but I want him to see me now
Q. Hey everyone, When I was 18 I met this guy on a social networking site we spoke for 6 months day in day out and he came to my city to meet,we just kissed nothing else happened..but I must add however superficial this might sound I wasn't a pretty t...
A. 19 November 2013: You just want to show him that you grew into a gorgeous woman? Not really that strange.
Did he stop the contact because he didn't find you pretty enough, you think? If so I would absolutely NOT contact him. Because then he is (or at least was) a s... (read in full...)
Pregnancy test negative so why 2 missed periods and terrible cramps?
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question but maybe someone could help? I've been having cramps off and on for a month now- sometimes just a mild cramp and sometimes to the point where I'm doubled over in pain and have missed 2 periods- after the ...
A. 19 November 2013: Have you been to your doctor or a GYN?
If not, that should be your next step, it's impossible for anyone here to diagnose you. (not that we should anyways).
I suggest you go and get checked out, possibly have an ultrasound. It can be cysts in ... (read in full...)
Slept with a married work colleague
Q. I have worked with this man for a year. We flirt all day everyday and for as long as I've known him iv been attracted to him, hes also attracted to me but hes married. On friday we had a work party and i stayed in his hotel room and we had sex. Ther ...
A. 19 November 2013: Still not sure what you are looking for here on DC. For people to say it's OK to have sex with him, because he TELLS you his marriage is crap? Because you were single for a long time?
Why do you think he FEEDS you all that negative info about hi... (read in full...)
Looking for help with emotionally unavailable guy.
Q. I don't know if this is a long shot but I'm looking for some advice and help with dealings I have with a guy. He is emotionally unavailable, he is my fwb ( when he fancies it!!) and I'm not sure if you'd call him a player. Anyway so I'm hoping to...
A. 18 November 2013: Aren't you a little to "old" for game playing?... (read in full...)
Slept with a married work colleague
Q. I have worked with this man for a year. We flirt all day everyday and for as long as I've known him iv been attracted to him, hes also attracted to me but hes married. On friday we had a work party and i stayed in his hotel room and we had sex. Ther ...
A. 18 November 2013: Well, I'm sorry you put yourself in this position. It is not one to be admired.
I have to say though he pulled out ALL the "married me excuses" in the book. She doesn't like sex, he is only staying for the kid, the wife cheated on him, blah bla... (read in full...)
Am I being overly concerned -- he wanted to have sex without protection
Q. After waiting a fair amount of time, the guy I'm dating and I decided to have sex. I had needed to take it slow, and he had respected that, then last night we took things further. It got to the point where he was about to go inside me, but he tried ...
A. 18 November 2013: It can be for several reason.
1. he was caught up in the moment (however I'm not really sure that is it, since he asked you "really"?)
2. He just simply doesn't care.
3. He expects YOU to be the one taking precaution about pregnan... (read in full...)
Was she so much in love with her ex or she just didn't like me enough?
Q. I was with this girl for a while (almost two months). She liked me but it was kind of flakey; sometimes she was more into me than others. After a while I found out that she was still obssesed with her ex bf after one and a half years (!) of not even ...
A. 18 November 2013: You were the rebound without a doubt and honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't hold out hope that in x amount of years you and her can make a go at it again. Find a girl who WANTS to date YOU for you, not just date you because you are a guy.
She l... (read in full...)
Sister-in-law propositioned me, and I'm tempted ...
Q. Hi I have a dilemma, I don't get on with my sister in law, she is an obnoxious self centred person, a habitual liar, thief and cannot be trusted even slightly. I have tried in the past to give her the benefit of the doubt but have always had my ...
A. 18 November 2013: I think you should go back to just writing bad erotica.
Seriously, you are tempted?
Your poor wife.... (read in full...)
Do men keep stuff from their ex girlfriends?
Q. Hi. Firstly I'm typing this on my phone so sorry for any mistakes. I'll try and make this short. I've known this guy for six years as friends. We just recently startde dating and so far its been amazing. He's sweet, nice, focused on school a...
A. 18 November 2013: I honestly think women tend to keep more mementos then men do, but yes, it's not really strange to keep a picture or two. Back in the day, it was kind of common that a girl saved just about everything (ticket stubs, dried roses.. you name it)
... (read in full...)
He deceived and cheated. I have regrets. Do you have any tips on how I can forgive myself?
Q. About 6 months ago, I discovered a man I was seeing was not all he said he was. He was cheating on me with multiple women and deceived me on a level I never imagined possible. He broke my spirit and my heart. I had never felt so low. With lots...
A. 18 November 2013: How do you forgive yourself? But NOT doing it again. BY trusting yourself and knowing that NO IS an option when it comes to sex even IN a relationship.
I agree with Jannie, that you most likely is a people pleaser and you do it at the COST of ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to kiss on the first date?
Q. I went on a first date last night.Met online and exchanged a few messages over about a week. Went to two different bars, had some good conversation and laughs. He walked me home and then leant in for a kiss. We kissed passionately for 45 mins ...
A. 18 November 2013: I think with online dating you get ALL kinds.
I think if there is a high level of attraction physically and emotionally kissing on the first date is fine. Sometimes it's a good way to weed out guys who aren't for you. Like the date you had. The... (read in full...)
I always feel I'm annoying my FWB when I text him
Q. So, it started back in 2010 when I met this boy and we were just friends with benefits.. I started to really like him and he said he didn't want anything more and then he just randomly got a girlfriend with this girl I disliked at the time. So, ...
A. 17 November 2013: He didn't RANDOMLY date a chick. He DATED her because she wouldn't put out or play "FWB", like you.
He doesn't care for you in the way you would like because 1. if he DID he would be pissed of by NOT getting sex when you came over and 2. calling ... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because my boyfriend called me another woman's name
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now but i now have a problem that has really upset me. While we were having sex and my boyfriend was about to cum he said "Michelle"...but that isn't my name...i got really upset but he said he ...
A. 17 November 2013: I don't blame you one bit.
You have been together for a couple of years so it's not about a "slip of the tongue" because the relationship is so new.
The fact that he "can't remember" I think is BS, but my guess it he thought it would work.
I... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 17 November 2013: Good for you.
Did you by chance notice that his apology was tied in with putting the "blame" on you? You fault he did what he did?
Sounds like he still don't get it and perhaps never will (not at his age) I don't believe in the old dog new tric... (read in full...)
How do I realize that marriage isn't as important as I'm making it out to be?
Q. Hello, all. I regularly give advice here, and now I need help myself... In short, how do I let go of the fact that my life partner and myself may never get married? I am in an extremely happy, close (when I let it be, more to come on that), fa...
A. 17 November 2013: I think you have to follow you heart and you HAVE to be honest with him and ACCEPT HIS choice too, because MAYBE this is something that means you two REALLY aren't as compatible as you want you two to be.
My brother and Sister-in-law were together... (read in full...)
Don't want drama. Have not talked to FWB since condom broke. So how do I tell him I'm pregnant?
Q. Soo I feel really stupid here but I don't know what to do.... I was in this FWB things for a couple months we used condoms but had an incident when one broke and 9 weeks later here I am pregnant. Problem is I haven't talked to him since the condom b...
A. 17 November 2013: Well, IF you decide the have the child I think you should tell him NOW rather then later.
Yes, he didn't want kids, but... there is ALWAYS a chance for pregnancy with sex.
Why you didn't get on BC too, I'm not sure. Because after it all YOU... (read in full...)
After you meet for a date how long do you wait before contacting them again?
Q. Online dating. After you meet for a date, you kiss, you want to see her again, how long should you leave it before contacting her? She seemed interested but I don't want to come on too strong. Also I went online today and she was on there at the ...
A. 17 November 2013: I would text that same night saying goodnight, hope you got home OK, and talk to you tomorrow. Then I would text the next day, IF I was interested.
The whole wait 3 days is bogus and only make people doubt what you feel and what you want.
... (read in full...)
How do I get through tomorrow knowing that I've lost her forever?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I'm rather depressed at the moment. Tomorrow, I'll be watching the love of my life marry my best friend. When we were 15, my best friend and I met a girl who immediately friend-zoned both of us. I told him once that I liked her ...
A. 17 November 2013: One thing I have learned in life, is you can call DIPS on people all you want, but that doesn't mean it actually works. The person you are "calling dips on" ACTUALLY have a say in who they want to be with.
I met my first BF through a friend w... (read in full...)
Am I being clingy and controlling? Do I care too much?
Q. hi quick question, my boyfriend and i have been together now for 2 years. Whenever time he goes out, whether to his dad's house or out with friends he does not like to tell me and we live together. I find it disrespectful and rude. I compla...
A. 17 November 2013: I think a text JUST fine.
As long as he doesn't text you at 5.45 knowing you have dinner ready at 6pm (example) but does he need to call and TALK to you, to let you know? I don't think so. A text is quite fine.
And all he has to say is, going... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts differently when we fight over text and in person
Q. When my boyfriend and I argue over text, I've found that he's very mean, stubborn, and blames me for everything. When we fight in person, he is more kind and owns up to his side, as I do with mine. Why does he do this? Is it a power thing? Being ...
A. 16 November 2013: I don't think it's a power-thing, I think it a "we can't read each other over texts" thing.
So if you are smart, then TAKE heed to this and STOP fighting over texts. Carrying on a relationship and fights via text is not really the way to go.... (read in full...)
I kind of resent lending my friend money and having to pay the interest
Q. One of my best friends has asked me to put plane tickets for her children to fly out to see her twice now-both times I have said yes, even though I don't really like it. The first time, the amount wasn't that high and I had the extra funds to p...
A. 16 November 2013: Just be honest and tell her you simply can't afford it.
Those are HER children and HER job to save up for those trip, it's not like she doesn't know that Christmas comes in December.
Now if you don't really mind (and be honest) lending her the ... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 16 November 2013: Wow he really doesn't sound like a keeper. More like an immature bugger.
He seriously ran off laughing because you tried to look out for him?
I agree with Auntie Em, look like he is acting like an asshat so that YOU will be the one breaking up ... (read in full...)
I have a second chance with my ex but its on harsh terms- should I go for it?
Q. Hey all Its day 4 post breakup here, i havent started 'no contact' we are still talking every night all night (i know this is not the way to go) Our split was down to distance..5 years in an LDR with neither of us willing to give up our jobs ...
A. 15 November 2013: I think Cerberus is right. YOU are not thinking. YOU want to hold on to something that meant a LOT to you for years.
IF you two have spend 5 years in a LDR with NO ONE wanting to move closer, look for a new job, then it wasn't meant to be. I ga... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 24 October 2013: My first reaction was, why didn't you pay the bill? It was $30 dinner not a $250. Either of you could have treated the other.
Did you know before going out that he lost his card? Or did he spring it on you when the check shows up?
Was this the ... (read in full...)
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