A
female
age
30-35,
*arina1993
writes:Me and my boyfriend been going out for 2 years we were plaining on getting married and everything we'll before he deployed I found out he cheated when he went home on leave 4weeks before deployment I flipped on him and wanted to break up but he begged me to stay so I did but when he left about three days later the girl he was talking to contacted me and told me everything they had sex he's been talking to her the whole time we been together even when he was in basic I was so hurt I trusted him I asked the girl that if we got married would she leave him alone and she said(I will never stop loving him or trying) We'll I talked to him about it and he said sorry and he promise he will never cheat again and that she's crazy and I forgave him....but now four days later he's been acting a lil funny he said some pretty rude things to me today and it's turning me off besides the fact I can't stop thinking about how he's been cheating through are whole relationship we'll now I'm thinking about breaking up with him I know it's pretty wrong to do it while he's overseas but I can't sit here and wait for him to do it again and deep down I know he will. but Idk how to end it I love him but I know he'll never stop treating me bad I just need some advice on how to end it while he's there Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 November 2013):
 you're coming up with justifications and rationalizations in your head because it's what you want to believe. which is normal, believe me. but the truth is glaring you in the face. even if the girl is a bit crazy, he was still with her behind your back for an extended period of time. also, his accusing you of cheating is a blatant red flag. cheaters always accuse others of cheating.
only you know what is best for you and what your heart will tell you to do. do whatever you feel is right. however, having your best interests in mind, i would hope you leave this guy and find one who is more truthful and faithful to you.
i know it's hard to process right now. good luck to you.
A
female
reader, Marina1993 +, writes (14 November 2013):
Marina1993 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah you all are right. It's just really hard to do it I thought he loved me. But sometimes I wonder if the girl is crazy I mean when I looked at her Instagram she had sooo many pics of him like collages of pics plus they been knowing each other since high school and they never dated why now would it be any different idk. Yeah we argue a lot but it's not all my fault and to think he always said I was the one cheating but it was him the whole time
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 November 2013):
Why are you so concerned with his feelings? What about your own? He didn't have any regard for your feelings when he went and slept with this girl and continued to be with her for years behind your back. I'm sorry, but screw him. Send him an email or a text. Normally I'd say give him the respect of at least a phone call. But he doesn't deserve your consideration of his feelings.
He's a liar and a cheater. He's not worth a second more of your time. Drop him and asap.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): What he's done to you is worse than you dumping him while deployed. You really deserve better. And, tell his hussy she can have him...and all of the VD he picks up overseas when he sleeps with strange women over there. And, what right does he have to be rude to YOU when he was the one that is in the wrong? You're better off without him.
Again, YOU deserve better. You deserve someone who will give you 100%
...............................
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (13 November 2013):
 I've never had a deployed husband or boyfriend, but I caught my boyfriend talking to another girl over his phone, sexual things about what they'll do to each other and he's picturing her naked and blah blah. He changed his number when I told him I'd leave him, deleted his Facebook and hasn't talked to her. I know this for a fact.
Every couple is different. In your case I think you should tell him where he can shove it and leave. He obviously isn't going to stop seeing other woman and this other woman? Saying she won't ever stop loving him or trying? Really? What kind of "woman" does that? Leave him and find someone who loves you as much as you love him. You deserve that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 November 2013):
 It wasn't just a little fling, nor do I think the girl is crazy. The reason she is STILL involved with him is because HE WANTS her around.
Him acting strange while deployed might have nothing to do with the cheating. It might have to do with whatever he is experiencing, seeing and everything else pertaining to his job. It's not like he is away at summer-camp, he is DEPLOYED.
However, it doesn't EXCUSE him being rude.
If you feel like breaking up while he is deployed then TAKE this time to figure out what exactly you WANT for yourself and your future.
I personally, wouldn't continue to date and I CERTAINLY wouldn't marry a guy who has been carrying on a whole other relationship while dating me. The ONLY reason your guy is sorry, is because he GOT CAUGHT. He is SORRY he got caught, not that that he hurt you AND her. The whole, SHE is crazy makes no sense.. because why would he keep seeing he if she was SO crazy?
You have LOST all faith and trust in him. Which isn't at all strange. What I DO find strange is that you accepted to STILL date him after you found out, even after you talked to the other girl.
You write that you KNOW he will cheat again, and that he will CONTINUE to treat you bad.
WHY OH WHY are you so willing to accept that you HAVE to stick around and take it?
He SPEND his 4 week leave BEFORE deployment WITH someone else, not the woman he said he wanted to marry. THAT is NOT the actions of a man who actually CARES and LOVES his GF.
I know (hubby was AD Army for 26 years and recently retired) how hard it can be for guys when their GF "dump" them while being deployed. Specially if there is someone else in the picture - but in your case, I think you STAYING in this relationship WITH him will only make him think that YOU are OK with his actions, that he can do it over and over and that YOU will forgive him and stay. WHAT he did to you is WAY more "wrong" then you breaking up with him now.
As bad as it may sound, I think it's about time YOU look out for YOU.
...............................
|
