How long until I can add him back as a friend on FB?
Q. I got rejected by a guy a couple of weeks ago who I thought I really liked and I deleted him off facebook straight away. We haven't spoken since then and I've had time to realise now that I don't want him romantically, but I do want to be friends in ...
A. 30 May 2014: I'm with FA.
Though I don't get why you feel you need to ADD him back. UNLESS you two start BEING friend (off Facebook) what's the point in adding him? To boost your "friends" number on Facebook?... (read in full...)
Dumped, why am I so upset by this? A normal person would be running for the hills.
Q. I have been gong through a very difficult time these past few months. I had recently broken up with the biggest Casanova I'd ever dated (he had kids and a wife etc.)So a few months later I meet what I thought was my knight in shining armor, boy was ...
A. 30 May 2014: I honestly think you are more angry at yourself for continue to see him with all the red flags that you.. sort of ignored.
Stop beating yourself up, they guy was a jerk.
I agree with Tisha - you need to take a good hard look at yourself and fig... (read in full...)
Should I go to my boyfriend's best friend's birthday party? I don't want any more drama!
Q. Ive been seeing my boyfriend for about 10 months, exclusive for 6 months. Its going brilliantly! And we get a long so well. But last week hit a bit of a problem. So we have gradually been introducing each other to family and friends etc and its ...
A. 30 May 2014: Go with your BF and don't let the EX be the center of attention. Just be civil IF you have to talk to her, which you most likely don't really have to.
If she wants to talk to you alone, I'd suggest you tell her that you don't really have anything... (read in full...)
I wonder if he could actually care for me.
Q. Hi, I met someone on holiday five years ago. It was clear we liked the look of each other but nothing ever happened. He found me on facebook somehow when he got home and three years later we were still texting every other week. Last year he asked me...
A. 29 May 2014: I can't improve on what Mark said.
He is a nice fantasy, not BF material. ... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 29 May 2014: Sorry it seems like my computer or connection decided to stutter.. ... (read in full...)
Are we dating or is this just FWB?
Q. Before I ask this question, I'm going to ask that if you want to answer, just answer respectfully. I recently started seeing a 30 year old man. We have gone on a few dates before about a year ago and once about 6 months ago, but I sort of backed o...
A. 29 May 2014: I agree ASK him. I agree that NOW is not the time to beat around the bush. YOU are both grown up, so ask him straight out.... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 29 May 2014: I think she likes you as a friend. You were a familiar face at school, someone she felt "safe" being around.
Does it means she wants to date you? It's really hard to say. The fact that she seems friendly and nothing more would make me think th... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 29 May 2014: I think she likes you as a friend. You were a familiar face at school, someone she felt "safe" being around.
Does it means she wants to date you? It's really hard to say. The fact that she seems friendly and nothing more would make me think th... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 29 May 2014: I think she wants you back as a friend or to have someone to hang out with, not because she wants to date you.
So it's really up to you and what you want.
If you want a GF, I don't think SHE is it. And if you WANT her as a GF you are wasting ... (read in full...)
Why do I think of him every day?
Q. i wrote a little while back about the affair i had. im still trying to put it behind me. i see that guy frequently out and about with his new gf. it hurts soo bad. its like it didnt even happen to him. i didnt get how little i meant to him until ...
A. 29 May 2014: Why do you think if him still? Because he was your little fantasy escape from your daily routine.
The fact that you are slowly realizing that you meant little to him is good thing (even if it hurts). But really, you should put some of that pas... (read in full...)
I found out he has another girlfriend but he wont admit it!
Q. Me an my boyfriend have been toghter 16mnts an I recently found out he's been seeing another women.Although he still tries to hide her she makes herself well known around da neighborhood DAT they are toghter my problem is he will not admitt it an ...
A. 29 May 2014: What is the problem? Kick him to the curb already. WHY on Earth would you want to share your BF with another woman?
Throw the towel already and stop clinging on to the fantasy that this man cares about you, he doesn't. HE cares about himself ... (read in full...)
Did I over react when I dumped him?
Q. My boyfriend - I guess now ex boyfriend - is in his late 40s. We were dating a year and a half - exclusive for a year and 3 months. Over that time, I brought up the future several times. I want marriage and a kid and am ready to start nesting. He ...
A. 29 May 2014: He isn't a bad man but a bad match for you. He still acts like he is in his 20's - I'm sorry going out and getting drunk in his LATE 40's is.... well... someone desperately clinging to his youth and independence.
He doesn't WANT marriage, he doesn... (read in full...)
Should I introduce this married woman to my wife?
Q. I am married. I met this woman some time back. She seems to be very interested in me. She is married. We used to share lot of sms and our own photos. Recently I told her that she is looking good and if we were not married then I would have asked for ...
A. 29 May 2014: Why on Earth would you do this to your wife?... (read in full...)
My family guilted me into getting back in touch with my LDR
Q. I have a dilemma… I dated a guy very shortly (less than 4 mo.) and he wanted to do a long distance thing but I didn’t like him enough to do so. He just didn’t “get it” so I had to rudely and abruptly cut contact and block him. My mom gave me a lot...
A. 29 May 2014: I'd just stop talking to him. If you are NOT interested in this guy or getting back with him, you shouldn't HAVE to "fake" it.
I'd de-friend him, block him and move the heck on.
If you parents ask you why just tell them. BE honest with them... (read in full...)
How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. I had been with a guy for a few months, friends before that for a long time. When we were friends he was seeing someone else and during their break up he came to me to vent and talk over. We became close. We fell out and had not been speakin...
A. 29 May 2014: While "following" his ex on Twitter is an odd thing to do, I'm not really sure what kind of BAD thing you did that warrants you getting "dropped" as a friend.
If you weren't communicating with her I really don't see the big deal. And I certainl... (read in full...)
Has this turned into a casual sex thing?
Q. so I am a little confused on my situation.. my ex and I are not together, yet we are in this cycle of not talking, then talking, hooking up, meeting up while we are out, then not talking again for a week or two. he is well aware that I love him and ...
A. 29 May 2014: I think he is WELL aware of your feelings, but they are NOT his priority.
IT HAS turned into a convenient (for him) casual thing. He gets to have a "periodical" or "when it suits him" GF and sex partner.
IF you are OK with status quo (as t... (read in full...)
How can I have a conversation with him about this without being arrested for a domestic dispute?
Q. After 25 years of marriage I have come to realize my husband is a liar...about big and small things. I do not trust him at all, and I find it difficult to believe anything he tells me, even if it's about the weather!! I want to confront him abo...
A. 29 May 2014: He lied to you, he lied to the therapist, having this conversation will get you nothing but MORE lies. He has no reason NOT to lie.
YOU are tuning yourself into a crazy woman trying to "catch" him, when you do NOT need to catch him. ALL you need... (read in full...)
Should I start up a text conversation with her again?
Q. Dear Cupids, I just got this girls nnumber last week. I waited a day and then texted her. A day later she responded while I was out with some friends. Probably should of told her I was busy. I ended up starting to text her back after a couple o...
A. 28 May 2014: Why not *gasp* just pick up the phone and CALL her? If you want to TALK to her call. And maybe... ASK her out?... (read in full...)
I'm terrified he's going to go from "I want to marry you!" to "I don't want to get married to you!"
Q. When my boyfriend and I started going out with each other - after a few months we used to chat about what kind of wedding we'd have etc etc. we were both on the same plane about it cost wise and all that - not too expensive but a fun day and put our ...
A. 28 May 2014: Instead of hinting and joking around - ASK him. Do you still see us getting married sometime within the next few years? (or whatever your time line is).
Why beat around the bush?... (read in full...)
I mentioned my ex and now this man has blocked me
Q. When I was in college a guy lived next door and I lived there until the end of college and moved and he went to michigan we were just friends and neighbors. He came into town not to long ago and low and behold his aunt is next door that he was ...
A. 28 May 2014: I agree with Ciar.
It's really tacky to talk exes body-parts and not being discreet when it comes to past partners. I think you BOTH erred on that part. No man whats to hear about the exes big or tiny penis. And no woman wants to hear about ex... (read in full...)
Starting to like a guy I'm dating, but I think hes still looking for others?
Q. Ive known this guy for a couple of months now. We met on T--r (a new dating app), and i wasnt sure about it, but my friend recommended it to me, help me get out more and meet and date new people. Now I've met this guy, and we're suuposed to be ...
A. 28 May 2014: My advice just go out on dates with him, no sex. If he keeps updating and checking his "app" profile he IS looking for greener grass.
MANY people these days date multiple people at the same time, because 1. they can 2. it's socially acceptab... (read in full...)
How do I help my son?
Q. Both my sons have left the house and have been in the military. My youngest is currently home visiting, he has time off. Chatting with him, I realized he seems depressed, he has no inspiration for the future, such as college degree or a good job. ...
A. 28 May 2014: So he grew up with a lack of support from his biggest male role model (you) and spend years being depressed. Depression doesn't go away on it's own. You can't WISH it away or bully it away.
I don't think it's totally surprising that he doesn't ... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants to postpone the wedding?
Q. My fiancé and I have been engaged for almost three years now and we have planned our wedding for about a year now. Our wedding is coming up in July and last week she told me she wants to postpone it because she is scared and she clams to not be ...
A. 28 May 2014: I think if she is having doubts (and marriage IS a big step) postponing it the right thing to do (unless you want a divorce in 6-12 months.
And I agree with CMMP, after 3 year I'd think a person KNOWS if they WANT to be married to their partner ... (read in full...)
My LDR can see prettier women in porn, so why bother taking it to the next level?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship and we have not yet been sexual in person . Next time we meet we will take it to the next level but in the meantime we enjoy that online but I'm worried about how I can possibly keep my bf interested when he ...
A. 28 May 2014: He can walk down the street and see a far sexier girl, then what?
THERE will ALWAYS be prettier, taller, skinnier, smarter... you name it.. out there. BUT your BF is dating YOU for a reason. And that reason (I sorely hope) is that he LIKES yo... (read in full...)
What's wrong? I never get invited back ! I invite them, and they never reciprocate after that.
Q. My question is: Do you expect people to reciprocate your invites to dinner, brunch, lunch or a mere cup of coffee? I don't do it because I expect it, but since I have a particular taste and healthy diet needs, I tend to invite people over if the ...
A. 28 May 2014: I would just stick to meeting out on the town for now. For coffee, movies, dinners and what not.
Or try a potluck sort of thing with MORE then one person?
You might be coming off as too formal. ... (read in full...)
What is more important: being comfortable in a relationship or having a similar level of attraction to each other?
Q. I wanted to share my point of view on attraction in relationships. Obviously there has to be attraction for a relationship to work. But in my opinion, go for someone you're moderately attracted to over someone you're insanely attracted to. Me...
A. 28 May 2014: I have to agree with the aunties Cindy and llifton.
I wouldn't, personally, settle for a guy I was only "moderately" attracted to. And I'll tell you why. If you are in it for the lang haul, and you start out with not even lurk warm attracti... (read in full...)
What practical things can I do to improve myself and start a relationship?
Q. Hello all, I'm a university student who desires a relationship but has never succeeded. I realised in the last few years that I was behaving a typical "nice guy" (in the bad way). I have improved my confidence and being myself, spending more ti...
A. 28 May 2014: I think the fact that you see talking to a girl as ends to a means (you getting laid/getting a gf) as opposed to getting to know women in GENERAL because they are human being too, might be why you are single.
You say you don't have communic... (read in full...)
My ex gets bored seeing his son and lets him down
Q. I try and try to encourage a relationship with my ex-boyfriend and our son, but every time he lets us both down. If he isn't drunk or high, he would rather be with his mates or just being a total waste of space. I'm passed the point of anger, ...
A. 28 May 2014: I would stop telling your son that his dad is coming by (if he is planning to come by a Thursday) in case he doesn't show.
IF you son asks, tell him I don't know when he can see you again. Because that is the truth.
You have all these expect... (read in full...)
He's a sweet and wonderful guy, but he never wants to go out and do anything
Q. My boyfriend is gentle and makes me laugh, is loyal and sweet, helps me when I need it, makes sure I'm safe. I love him too, but things are getting just.. Ridiculously boring. I love going on walks when the weather is good, or to the beach...
A. 27 May 2014: I think Sage hit the nail on the head. YOU two aren't compatible. Not socially nor sexually.
He isn't WILLING to compromise AT ALL to keep you happy.
YOU, honey are rowing this relationship canoe on your own, going in circles.
Mayb... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?
Q. Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...
A. 27 May 2014: First off, thanks for your update. I hope you get to start feeling a little better about YOUR life and can move along with your own path.
And secondly, I'm glad he is getting help.
Speaking AS a mom, I can see why she is acting the way she i... (read in full...)
How do we overcome our fear of talking face to face?
Q. Hy...im dating this guy and he's one of those shy kind of guyz and so sweet...we go to the same school but we dont talk at school we only chat when we text so since we've just started dating we haven't really talk face to face so how can i talk to ...
A. 27 May 2014: How can yo be dating if you don't talk face to face? That isn't dating, that a "text-fantasy-pretend" relationship. Now I'll cut you some slack because of your age and lack of experience with relationships (which is ONLY natural for your age ... (read in full...)
I am sick of being depressed and it is as if he just doesn't care.
Q. I am having problems with my husband not supporting me emotionally. I have depression and anxiety disorder. I become irrational when I feel someone has done me wrong. Multiple times I have gone to my husband in need of emotional support and he ...
A. 27 May 2014: I would suggest you get your depression and anxiety attack UNDER control BEFORE having a child. Because when you ADD the fluctuations of hormones during and after the pregnancy it can make it feel 10 times worse. So your focus should be on getting ... (read in full...)
He was my first love. But drugs rule his life. How can I stop loving him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 27 years old female, when I was 15 I met a boy who was 16, just one year older than me, he was my high school sweetheart, we spent many years together after, we went to different universities I studied engineering and ...
A. 27 May 2014: First off, KNOW that it wasn't your fault in any way shape or form.
TRYING drugs was a choice. The type of drugs another. NOT many starts out the gate with such a hardcore drug as heroin, so my guess is he was experimenting LONG before you foun... (read in full...)
What sort of relationship is this?
Q. I have a situation that which I know I should run for the hills and be done with this relationship but I am struggling. My boyfriend and I met 3 years ago during a LDR. We met up half way every 2-3 weeks and eventually he met my kids and would co...
A. 27 May 2014: To me it seems like he lives with one foot out the door.
I have to ask WHY you have never told his family about your other children. Why not mention them? Or ask HIM why they can't be part of the family. As a mom myself, I would NEVER accept t... (read in full...)
Help me get the girl
Q. Hey, guys. I'm here asking for advice on getting the girl. It's not a specific girl but just someone who I can settle/be with. About myself: I'm 6ft, shoulder length tidy hair, semi-muscular and I do get quite a few women saying I'm cute. The pr...
A. 27 May 2014: Accept that you can't avoid rejection, it's a fact of life. NOT everyone is going to like you. And that isn't because YOU aren't good enough. OR because there something wrong with you. JUST like you aren't going to like EVERY person YOU met. That is ... (read in full...)
The baby is due in 6 days and I feel completely doomed...
Q. Hi Cupids, Long time answerer, first time asker. What brings me to the question board? I'm 6 days away from my due date and I'm freaking out. I've been freaking out pretty much the whole time. It's not my relationship - I've been with hi...
A. 27 May 2014: Thank you for the update, congrats on the wonderful baby and glad to hear it's going good.
... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to enjoy him when the sex is amazing, even though I find him annoying at other times?
Q. So this guy for quite a while has been hitting on me trying to get it on etc even though he knew I found his personality completely annoying. I don't know what it is but he really irritates me. I got very drunk a few days ago and somehow ended up...
A. 27 May 2014: Do you WANT a FWB? Does he? If you both want that, then I see no problem, but... as I am not a fan of FWBs ( I think they are a waste of time).
... (read in full...)
Whose move next?
Q. A man I like, whom I met several months ago and have bumped into a couple of times asked for my number when we randomly saw each other one evening a few weeks ago. I had a missed call 2 weeks ago and I sent a text back to say I saw the missed call ...
A. 27 May 2014: I'd just call him.
It was nice of you to invite him (to the garden party) and it was right for him to decline.
As a rule of thumb (if you NEED rules) is to not ALWAYS drop everything to see a guy. So if you CALL him you two can perhaps PLAN a d... (read in full...)
Is my new boyfriend a tight wad?
Q. I met a 45 year old lovely guy who said he is ' careful with money' On our first date he asked if I was going to buy the second round of drinks.I laughed and said it was only a coke both times but felt embarrassed me made the point. Then we agreed ...
A. 27 May 2014: I'm not saying that a man should pay for everything, but when he makes a BIG deal out of ME having to pay, it's without a doubt a turn off.
BUT, when you were out, did yo offer to pay anything (even if it was JUST a coke) or did you expect t... (read in full...)
She is a really nice girl but I don't have strong feelings for her.
Q. I have started seeing this girl who I know for 2 years now. I was never attracted to her but she made a pass at me a few months ago and now we have started dating. I still dont have very strong feelings for her but she is a really really nice girl. ...
A. 27 May 2014: No one should have to pretend they REALLY like someone beyond the bounds of friendship.
So the sooner you let her know the better and yea, there will be tears. And she might not want to be around you for a long long while. Accept and respect ... (read in full...)
New workplace for me. Guy there is married, attractive and older. What's my next move?
Q. hi.theres this man whos pretty elder to me but is ravishingly handsome,at my workplace. i just started working there 2 weeks ago and he makes frequent eye contacts and shows many other signs of attraction.it makes me feel really awkard to gaze back ...
A. 27 May 2014: Geez, just be professional at work. That is what you were hired for.
... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?
Q. Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...
A. 2 May 2014: I think taking a break is the best way to go. Taking a clear break will be even harder (not for you, but in how he reacts).
He might NOT want to "let" you take a break, but he can't stop you. If you have INFORMED him that you need/want a break, h... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?
Q. Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...
A. 1 May 2014: I agree with Uncle Wise.
The relationship as you know it is over. He doesn't TRUST you enough to let you in on the "big secret". My guess is there is more to this depression/suicide then he is letting on. Maybe he was diagnosed with an addition... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 13 April 2014: I'd skip this girl and move on. If she all of a sudden (after she find out you like her) becomes slow in replying then I would assume it's because she isn't really interested.
So why waste more time on that one?... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 9 April 2014: It depends on what you hope to accomplish by writing. If you are OK with a platonic and sporadic contact, I'd keep writing, but not really have any expectations for anything. Which means I would keep it strictly platonic.
IF you are hoping f... (read in full...)
The baby is due in 6 days and I feel completely doomed...
Q. Hi Cupids, Long time answerer, first time asker. What brings me to the question board? I'm 6 days away from my due date and I'm freaking out. I've been freaking out pretty much the whole time. It's not my relationship - I've been with hi...
A. 8 November 2013: Having a child doesn't mean your life as you know it is over. Not by a long shot.
It DOES mean that you are NOW responsible for more then JUST yourself.
You shouldn't feel bad for not being overjoyed. It's NOT your fault that there are women ... (read in full...)
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