Boyfriend is hurtful and neglectful and I'm feeling really down about the relationship
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He just doesn't care about me anymore. He just told me 2 nights ago he loves me, and I believe in some weird way he does but he doesn't show it anymore. He hardly texts, hardly calls and hardly wants to spend ...
A. 18 June 2014: He has already left the relationship a long time ago, but... because he hasn't found someone else.... he calls you up here and there gives you "hope" by saying I love you, gets some sex and company from you then he is sated and leave you be for ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be focusing on the time she has left, instea of planning her funeral?
Q. My mum has terminal cancer and is under palliative care. Recently she's gone downhill and my dad is preparing for her death. He's organising the order of service, timings, list of people to tell, music, food etc ringing people up and having lengthy ...
A. 18 June 2014: I think your dad being male, has an easier time with the practical side of death then the emotional side. I'n sure he is having a hard time being strong for your mother and he feels if he can't "fix" the cancer at least he can give her the most ... (read in full...)
Should I text her? Or try calling later? I don't want to mess it up!
Q. I met a girl about two months ago at Wondercon and after talking to her for a bit, got her number, and asked her out about a week later. After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed responses from her) for the next few weeks, and a missed pho...
A. 18 June 2014: I'd give her one last chance (as in one last call) if she doesn't pick up, I'd move on. And if she text you the next day, just tell her that you can take a hint and you won't be calling again. (maybe more politely put then that, but that is up to ... (read in full...)
He seems awfully close to his ex
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a month almost to. Him and his ex just recently broke up. And he's still friends with her. They talk every single day and all day! Even when he's with me sometimes. They dated for over a year and lived together. ...
A. 18 June 2014: Why on EARTH would you want that douche-canoe to CHOOSE you?
He is USING you to get his ex back. USING your body while she is holding out on him.
He isn't GOING to leave her for you.
And honestly, be glad that he isn't because HE IS NOT ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up should I still ask her to go on a trip we had planned?
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago (I'm trying to convince her to take me back) we had plans to travel and visit my sister next week. It's an 8 hour drive and we were going to spend a week there. Should I ask her to still come with me since it would ...
A. 18 June 2014: I think you should focus on giving her what she asks for SPACE, and to really figure out if you are ready to be tied down.
Maybe go visit your sister ALONE. It will give you both some room to think.
I think you and your ex have way to high ... (read in full...)
Should I text her? Or try calling later? I don't want to mess it up!
Q. I met a girl about two months ago at Wondercon and after talking to her for a bit, got her number, and asked her out about a week later. After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed responses from her) for the next few weeks, and a missed pho...
A. 18 June 2014: I'm with olderthendirt.
PICK up the phone ASK her out (and don't make the date to your place for soe make out session). TAKE her out on DATES, get to KNOW her.
And don't ask her out without giving her 3-4 days notice. Plan something to do ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up should I still ask her to go on a trip we had planned?
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago (I'm trying to convince her to take me back) we had plans to travel and visit my sister next week. It's an 8 hour drive and we were going to spend a week there. Should I ask her to still come with me since it would ...
A. 18 June 2014: How long were you together and why did you break up?
It's a better idea (imho) to take your vacation alone, enjoy some time with your sister. And don't push your ex.... (read in full...)
He's choosing his head over his heart but still wants to be friends. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I recently told a long time friend I had feelings for him, he admitted he also had feelings for me but his best friend was trying to set him up with a girl named carly. He started talking to carly who he then started having feelings for too. ...
A. 18 June 2014: I agree.
First thing you need to do is cut him out of your life. That might feel hard in the beginning but realistically, would you rather still talk to him while he is dating "carly"? And stringing you along?
He gives the "my parents would be... (read in full...)
He seems awfully close to his ex
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a month almost to. Him and his ex just recently broke up. And he's still friends with her. They talk every single day and all day! Even when he's with me sometimes. They dated for over a year and lived together. ...
A. 18 June 2014: Oh, he is so not over her.
Are you willing to date a guy who gives you SCRAPS of his attentions and affections?
Now I get that he have gotten close to the little girl and love spending time with her, but "pretending" to be a family is not a ... (read in full...)
He's hesitating about the relationship because he thinks we live too far apart
Q. This guy I've been seeing seems to be making an issue about where I live. Before it didn't seem to bother him but now it seems as though it does. He lives in the city while I live right outside it. It's about 35-40min a train ride for me and then ...
A. 17 June 2014: I agree with Auntie Cindy (as usual)
He isn't that keen on dating you. And what he wants is sex on a platter. When it's CONVENIENT for him.
I'd skip this guy.... (read in full...)
Gambler lies about gambling, what else is he lying about?
Q. My husband travels and has a gambling issue. I've already took out a 70000 second mortgage to pay off his credit cars before we were married. After we were married he continued to gamble several thousands dollars of our money. He said he was ...
A. 17 June 2014: I agree with CHECK your credit score, now!
And then... find a good divorce lawyer and get as much of your 70K back.
This is NOT going to get any better. He CLAIMS YOU need counseling, yet he is the one with the gambling addiction? Are y... (read in full...)
Wondering about the "swinging" lifestyle
Q. My wife told me one of her friends recently confided in her that she and her husband have been visiting swingers clubs over the past few months. It started off with her fantasies to have two men at once, but since then has escalated and both of them ...
A. 17 June 2014: I have yet to met anyone who's marriage got stronger or better by swinging.
We had some really good friends (didn't know about them swinging til we head about their upcoming divorce after 16 years of marriage) another couple was some old neighbor... (read in full...)
Is there any way to convince my ex to give me a second chance?
Q. Is there any way to convince my ex to give me a second chance? My gf and I met 18 months ago and we ended up in a relationship literally over night. Our relationship moved extremely fast with me moving in within the first month. She is 7 yrs you...
A. 17 June 2014: Did you tell her how you feel?
I would give her a little time and space, to actually miss you.
And I think at any age people who are dating should have some time to go out with friends, see family, DO their OWN thing as well as be with their pa... (read in full...)
What is Appropriate/Inappropriate behavior for a relationship??
Q. I feel very confused about my current situation with my long term boyfriend, and am looking for some outside advice... We have been dating for a long time. Several years ago, I found out that that he was chatting with girls online, having c...
A. 17 June 2014: I am 100% with Auntie Cindy.
Having Cyber-sex with someone IS cheating. Having girls send him candid or naked shots IS cheating. The fact that he feels a NEED to get a girl to strip for him makes me think that your BF is seeing women as a MEANS to... (read in full...)
Before I visit a doctor does anyone have any idea what this could be?
Q. About two months ago I had sex and the lips of my vagina swoll up really bad. It was unfortable and it burned to pee. I haven't had sex since then. Then a little while after that I woke up and one side was swolen (I think I might have been playing ...
A. 17 June 2014:
To be on the SAFE side, I suggest you go see the doctor. IF it IS a STD/STI the SOONER you get it look at and treated the SOONER you will feel better.
SUCK IT UP and tell your mom you need a doctor's visit.
If you feel grown up enough to ... (read in full...)
Double standard where his adult children are involved
Q. I am looking for opinions of others I would like to know if I am wrong? My Husbands daughter invited us to her house For Father's Day weekend. She lives a few hours away. When we got there nothing was planned. She had no food in the house we were ...
A. 17 June 2014: I agree for the most part with WiseOwlE.
However, I would look at it differently. I would SIMPLY stop having ANY EXPECTATIONS of manners, courtesy or good behavior from HIS kids.
I would REFUSE to DISCUSS his/mine with him, He would no longer ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is vindictive and wants him to sign over the rights to his child.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Right after we got together he told me that his ex fling told him he had a son. They had a horrible relationship and before ending she told him she had already been with other people. Needless to ...
A. 17 June 2014: I suggest that you DO stay out of it, but support and listen to him.
As for her wanting $1500 a month out of a $1600 pay check it's not at all reasonably and honestly I'm not sure I believe it. Because.. legally she can't ask for more then a 4... (read in full...)
Is he too forward or am I a prude?
Q. I've been trying online dating in the past month for the first time. I'm only 19 and have zero experience with anything! The whole never-had-a-boyfriend-cause-no-one-is-decent-enough story... Anyway, a 25 yr old guy from the UK starts chatting with ...
A. 17 June 2014: You may be inexperienced, but you GUT was telling you something was off... SO LEARN this, listen to your gut. If it tell you that you get weird vibes... trust it and cut the communication with him.
a DECENT guy (and girl) should WANT to establis... (read in full...)
Lumps after shaving
Q. never had these lums on my vagina at first after shaving 5 month ago i notice the lump on my outside vagina im real stres pls help me. Its not sore either not itchy ...
A. 16 June 2014: It does sound like ingrown hairs. They SUCK in that area, which is why I don't shave, I get it waxed.
Hair removal cream is also a good option if you rather not go get waxed ( I don't recommend trying to wax yourself down below).
If these bump... (read in full...)
He'd rather text me than call
Q. Why do guys take so much pain from their ex and treat the one good girlfriend badly. Don't get me wrong i love my bf but he's changed. We see eachother every other weekend. All we do is text and I've asked him to atleast call me a few times a week ...
A. 16 June 2014: He is USING his ex's behavior as an excuse to not give you 100%.
Over all he likes the IDEA of a GF, but he can't really be bothered to put in the work it takes to keep a relationship going.
HAVING to BEG for him to TALK to you instead of texti... (read in full...)
I don't think my husband understands what having a baby really entails! He seems to think its all fun and games
Q. Me and my husband are planning to try for a baby after our honeymoon in 7 months time but I worry my husband isn't prepared for what it entails. Whenever we talk about it he seems blase like yeah it'll work itself out! I am a child of ten in my fa...
A. 16 June 2014: There are many BABY and DAD books out there.
I would find a couple of them and give them to him.
http://www.am... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for your boyfriend to hang out with other females one on one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. He is 30 and I am 21. We are currently trialling living together (I have not officially moved all my stuff in). We have a bit of an issue about friends of the opposite sex. I don't really have ...
A. 16 June 2014: I think going out to a lunch or dinner with a person of the opposite gender is just fine. HOWEVER, when it's someone you have had a relationship with or sex with it can be a little inappropriate if EITHER of them have any "residual" feelings for ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time or can we fix this?
Q. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight last night and I'd like some help working out where to go from here please. We have been together for almost 5 years now, and at the moment we don't live together. He asked me to move in about a year ago, but I ...
A. 16 June 2014: I don't think you can fix this.
After 5 years you two came to a fork in the road - it's become more and more clear that what you want and what HE wants are not a common goal you went right, he went left.
I think it's UNREALISTIC of h... (read in full...)
Do you think leaving my boyfriend is the best thing for me and my kid?
Q. I been together with my boyfriend for 6 years, we have had a very rocky relationship over the years, we always argue and we don't trust each other at all (we have never cheated on each other or so i think. We have a son, he is four years old. Over ...
A. 15 June 2014: I agree with Wise, something moved you to write it all out loud.
Make sure (for YOUR sake )that you use birth control so no oppps will happen that might make you stay in this miserable relationship.
I think it sounds like you are actually BOT... (read in full...)
My father died and my husband has been unkind on Father's Day
Q. My husband has always been difficult. One moment supportive, the next very much not. Having had a dreadful year dealing with two cancers, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, to top it all my father has just died. Today has been very hard, Father's d...
A. 15 June 2014: I have to agree with Ciar.
YOU are making Father's Day out to be about you. IT shouldn't be. It's about ALL the Dads out there.
If you two traditionally spend Father's Day apart with EACH your Dads then I can see why he is telling you that... (read in full...)
How should I tell my mother that I want to track down my father?
Q. Im 13 and want to find my dad but i feel uncomfortable telling my mum. All i know is his last name,how do i find him?...
A. 15 June 2014: You should still tell her.
Last name (unless it is VERY uncommon) isn't enough to go on.
I think it's only natural for YOU to be curious about your biological dad and I think you are old enough to ask and get an answer.
So in short, talk to ... (read in full...)
After just a few weeks my ex husband's girlfriend is calling the shots and I think she's plotting against me!
Q. Hello Not sure if this is a problem at the moment or could be a problem that I need to nip in the bud now? I was married for 10 years to a very abusive man, we were extremely young and our relationship was extremely tempestuous but once we had ...
A. 15 June 2014: My suggestion is to END the conversations when he gets started on some rant about the past. Just tell him you can't change that past and you do not want to discuss the subject that all you will TALK to him about are the kids. DO NOT ARGUE with ... (read in full...)
I was stood up - was it necessary?
Q. Hi everyone! I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged h...
A. 15 June 2014:
Auntie YouWish makes a good point with the Dating Site feedback (if they have one). Otherwise I'd just block him from now on.
... (read in full...)
Men: What do you think of breast implants?
Q. I just got silicone breast implants and I think they are going to be great. A great improvement over my asymmetrical southbound breasts. Quite large on my rather small frame, but nothing that would draw stares or look like a porn star. Just a ...
A. 15 June 2014: I don't think you OWE any man to "confess" that you have implants.
IF they make YOU happy then that is all that matters. IF he asks then you can choose to tell him or not.... (read in full...)
I'm utterly ashamed of my drunken behavior in front of my ex and his girlfriend!
Q. Im so ashamed and embaressed. So lastnight I went to a friends birthday party. My ex from a very long time ago was there. I had drunk quite alot and I was flirting outrageously with him. Then later on in the night his girlfriend arrives. I did not ...
A. 15 June 2014: I agree with YouWish. You need to cut the alcohol, you need to apologize to the ex and his GF and you need to find a way to deal with this. OR you will end up doing more and more outrageous things that will push people FAR away from you.
At 31... (read in full...)
Am I normal to be upset that boyfriend went to a strip club?
Q. Am I normal getting upset my boyfreind went to a strip club? My boyfriend is best boyfriend in world however i dislike his friend's attitude to women. his friend always goes to strip clubs and wants to go out drinking and spends a fortune. I however ...
A. 15 June 2014: Talk to your BF, HE is the one you are dating. Tell him why you don't like strip clubs and how his friends reaction to it made you feel. He ought to stand up for you even if he doesn't agree with you. Letting this chick call you boring shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
I was stood up - was it necessary?
Q. Hi everyone! I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged h...
A. 15 June 2014: Not acceptable.
I would just put him in the "not a keeper pile" It's NOT that hard to get in touch and say hey I have to cancel or let's do a raincheck. But playing the "I lost my phone or just plain ignore" is not OK in my book.
What a flake.... (read in full...)
I've made the worst mistake ever ...
Q. I got very drunk last night with my fiancé and a few friends. By the end of the night I was pretty inebriated. I often feel the desire to have sex when drunk however she was not interested because of the way I was acting earlier in the evening. I ...
A. 15 June 2014: You basically violated her trust and ALMOST full blown raped her. I don't blame her for being upset.
Talk to HER and ask HER what she NEEDS from you in order to rebuild trust in you.
I would suggest you stop drinking if you can't control yo... (read in full...)
Were there enough red flags on this first date to justify no second one?
Q. So, I went on a first date with this guy tonight, and, while he was a nice enough guy (easy to talk to, interesting), there were a couple of things that seemed like red flags. We met up in an area where there were lots of restaurants in o...
A. 15 June 2014: I don't see a problem with going Dutch. Though I DO think that he COULD have mentioned it when you planned the date. But it's not a deal breaker (for me).
The whole having to compare all the menus I find a tad.. I don't know.. just sad. If you c... (read in full...)
Pregnant again by the ex who abandoned us before
Q. ive met up with an ex boyfriend who doesn't remember me (he doesn't know my last name because I haven't told him and if I say what it is he will remember me and I haven't spoke to him about kids)we have 1 child already he doesnt bother with I had ...
A. 14 June 2014: You ex have NO idea he fathered the 13 year old? He isn't paying child maintenance at least?
And really WHY have a child with this man? AGAIN? I think it's incredibly ignorant of you. And to not want to tell him? Even worse, so YES he might en... (read in full...)
Special things to do while boyfriend/girlfriend is away?
Q. Hello :P My boyfriend is going on a trip for around a month and I was wondering what kind of things you guys do when you're significant other is away? Some things I have in mind of course catching up with friends, exercise, reading, visi...
A. 14 June 2014: Before I got married and had kids, I would spend the time a BF was away with friends and family, catching up on things I REALLY should have done ages ago.
After getting married and having kids, I do whatever needs done when hubby is gone. He is fo... (read in full...)
I really want to leave but I have no money and feel trapped in this marriage
Q. I have been with my partner for five years. We have a 3 year old son together, my partner works full time, i work part time (i don't earn very much) but my partner is the one who brings in all the money and pays most bills (i do help out too). I am ...
A. 14 June 2014: Do you have any support in your family? If so, I'd suggest you move out and in with family til you an find a full time job (or stay with him til you have a full time job) YOU need to find a way to support yourself and your child.
GET YOUR ducks in... (read in full...)
What was the matter with this blind-date guy?
Q. I went on a blind-date the other day, I had only talked to him on the phone prior to meeting, and a friend set us up. He invited me to come with him and our mutual friend to a theater show. They're in a group, and get free tickets to this one show. ...
A. 14 June 2014: I'd let this one go. He isn't keen at all. My guess is he got set up without really WANTING to be set up.
Don't waste any more time on this one. THAT is my advice.
And ALWAYS bring money on a date in case of unforeseen events, so at least you ... (read in full...)
My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions
Q. Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...
A. 14 June 2014: "YouWish put this...
No release or contract can override the laws of ethics in your country
AND you need to take that as a mantra.
Second NO you didn't lead him on. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT HE took advantage to you. My guess is he started out ... (read in full...)
He actually strikes me as very needy, controlling, desperate and emotionally weak.. I don't know.. what do you think?
Q. Ok so I really need help on this one. I met this Guy online and although we haven't Met yet, (we just chatted, exchange emails, and talked on the phone for about a month now) we both could tell that there's chemistry and emotional connection between ...
A. 14 June 2014: I would say that maybe you read a little too much into his reply, but.. that you also NEED to go with your gut. If your gut tells you that he comes across as controlling or needy (both unattractive traits for most) then I would listen to said gut.
... (read in full...)
Does your husband ever discount what you are saying and have bad manners?
Q. This is my second marriage. My husband has a bad habit of saying "Whatever" if I am trying to talk about something, even if it is minor talk. He was gone for a couple of days on business and when he got back I was telling him that I observed ...
A. 13 June 2014: Honestly, he is doing it because you allow it. My husband would LOVE for me to wait on him hand and foot and frankly, that isn't going to happen. If he asks if there is any coffee (knowing full well there isn't) I just tell him that he can go make a ... (read in full...)
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