I don't want to meet his daughter until we have discussed our relationship's future!
Q. I'm in a relationship with a man I've been with for about a year and a half. We are happy and very much in love. However, there is a catch. He has a young daughter. He and I have talked and I have met her a couple times with other friends of his. ...
A. 22 May 2014: So basically, you don't SEE yourself long term with him? And thus do NOT want to get attached to the daughter. (nothing wrong in that). And secondly, HE is still married. Which again, I think is a GOOD enough reason to NOT want to be part of the ... (read in full...)
Second thoughts about lending my son money
Q. My son had been saving for a new car, in the past I have paid for his cars and spent a lot of money on them for him since he passed his test about 7 years ago. This time he has been saving for his own but we saw a very nice car and I did say I will ...
A. 22 May 2014: I agree with Aunty YouWish and Cindy.
Sit your son down, draw up a paper with the amount he can afford to pay you back and so forth. HAVE IT IN WRITING. MAKE it Legal.
Also, if he is 23-26 he doesn't NEED an expensive car, IF you can talk to ... (read in full...)
I used to like my body shape but the digs keep coming ...
Q. In my adult life a LOT of people have asked if I'm pregnant, even though there has never been any reason for it other than my fat belly! A bit of back story, I have a bit of a buddha belly lol, in fact I'm very slim but my belly just puts on all t...
A. 21 May 2014: Depending on what YOU want you do there are several options:
Working your belly muscles might help a little in toning the belly. Crunches and sit-ups.
Spanx undergarments ( it can distribute the shape of your belly in a way that you might n... (read in full...)
Insecure for over 10 years because of wife's exes, am I being a fool?
Q. When my wife and I met she insisted on carrying on seeing (non sexually I've always assumed) her exes. She took me out for dinner with one guy, only to tell me a week later she'd kissed him and let him finger her, she had another guy round for the ...
A. 21 May 2014: Wow, I think you have EVERY right to be upset. But what I don't understand is IF you knew what she was doing with all these guys, WHY did you marry her?
Having a "secret" Facebook indicates that she KNOWS you won't like what's going on, that she... (read in full...)
I don't want to meet his daughter until we have discussed our relationship's future!
Q. I'm in a relationship with a man I've been with for about a year and a half. We are happy and very much in love. However, there is a catch. He has a young daughter. He and I have talked and I have met her a couple times with other friends of his. ...
A. 21 May 2014: I think you have a LOT of common sense (which I might add seems really rare these days!)
How do you discuss it? Well, I would bring up that you have thought about his daughter and the parallels to your own childhood as a child of divorce and HOW ... (read in full...)
Did I get played? Should I tell my husband?
Q. i am a married 37 year old woman. my story is complicated. first of all i married my high school sweetheart 12 years after we graduated. we had two different life styles. he was a drug user. i only drank. he got off drugs with my help. we married ...
A. 21 May 2014: I think you should "shit or get off the pot" when it comes to your marriage. If you are so unhappy you CAN walk away, cheating is NOT a very good solution. It's instant gratification, I get that - but I also get that you want more then just an itch ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 21 May 2014: How about using the word NO!
Confessing won't do YOU any good, nor their marriage. I'd tell HER on the other hand to find herself another F-toy.
... (read in full...)
I found porn on girlfriends phone about men with big penis. Should I be worried?
Q. So me and my girlfriend been sexually active and I am actually below average size but my girlfriend says she is fine with it and that she is satisfied. Recently I checked her phone just to go on the internet and on her history it said "big black ...
A. 20 May 2014: Her personal pron preference ACTUALLY has nothing to do with you. OR the size of your penis.
IF the size of your penis was SO important to her and she felt you FELL SHORT, she would have dumped you already, don't you think?
The thing is,... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 20 May 2014: I think you need to look at YOU here for a long minute. You seem to blame GIRLS for you being "Friend-zoned".
You sound like one of those men we get on DC who claims to be "good guys" and that all women rather DATE assholes. That is pretty w... (read in full...)
I said I'd visit my LDR girlfriend, but now I'm not so sure it's a good idea...
Q. Hi everyone I've had a girlfriend for nearly two years now. I love her and during these 2 years it has always been me who put in the majority of the effort. It's long distance which doesn't help, but she sacrificed very little for us whereas I did...
A. 20 May 2014: I am with Ciar.
Nothing NEW under the sun will show up and "show you the way" or that you two are meant for each other. If it hasn't already, it's NOT going to happen, you CAN'T force LOVE.
She has NEVER come to see you in 2 years? So you ha... (read in full...)
After having the baby, I am having trouble controlling my temper!
Q. Hello. Since I had my baby 8 months ago I'm finding it difficult to deal with my temper and I'm always angry or emotional especially with my husband. Me and my husband we been together for 5 years and married for a year and we both are deeply in ...
A. 20 May 2014: I would go see your doctor, it can be hormonal and it can be some lingering "baby blues".
Are you eating well, sleeping well?
Are you staying at home with the baby or back at work?
It can be that the change in situation is a factor.
... (read in full...)
Does it really happen that people can't keep their hands off each other?
Q. Can this really happen? You know in films where a couple can't keep their hands off each other and they basically attack each other. Does anyone have this? Is it real or is it just for the drama? Most the time form what I can remember the sex I've ...
A. 20 May 2014: I agree with Aunty Cindy.
It does happen. I had it with my first BF (for about 3 out of the 4 1/2 years) and with my husband for maybe the first 3-4 years? It's tapered off some, but I think it's to be expected after almost 19 years together... (read in full...)
I have anger issues with my boyfriend and would like help in dealing with them
Q. Hello, im 18 years old. my boyfriend is 19 and we've been dating for about 4 years. (on and off) we've been through pretty much a lot, things i never imagined he would hurt me doing. and well I've been trying to work on my anger issues. i get ...
A. 20 May 2014: I agree with Aunty Bim,
You do not have ANGER issues, you ARE frustrated because the two of you communicate poorly.
You have certain expectations that you BF may not agree with (such as needing YOUR permission to eat out with family).
Now ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to fantasize about girls they wouldn't normally date?
Q. My boyfriend dislikes the makeup and fake tan and painted on eyebrows look. However, one of his exes and a couple of girls that he has been with look like this. And he checks them out fairly frequently. He watches BBW porn and one of the girls he ...
A. 20 May 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE
He is playing on your insecurities. And his ACTIONS obviously doesn't match his words do they?
As for porn, I think you need to respect that what HE watches is private and HIS fantasies. Maybe he watches BBW for other re... (read in full...)
Should I cut contact altogether with him? He's an unappealing combination of arrogance and cheesiness.
Q. The guy I used to date and I are talking now, just as friends. We had an abrupt break up so now we are just exchanging friendly emails to catch up, I guess. I never went beyond friendly because I thought that after almost a year of not seeing each ...
A. 20 May 2014: Eh, why waste time on this joker?
And he makes for a real creepy friend, so again - WHY waste time on him?
All the things you have in common doesn't seem to OVERRIDE his attitude. YOU are hoping he can be someone else. Someone less crass, you ... (read in full...)
Is he pushing too soon to have a relationship with me?
Q. Dear Cupid Member I have a question? Do you think a guy is pushing a relationship with you too soon if after exchanging emails and just talking once on the Phone he already told me that He wants to be my Boyfriend? I met him online in one of...
A. 20 May 2014: I find someone pushing for a relationship THAT fast too pushy. The idea of a dating site is to MEET someone to BE with, but get to know them first. Now it can be he isn't much for long "courtships" or that he is desperate. Either way, if you FEEL ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time processing the sudden break up. What are ways that I can cope?
Q. 2 weeks ago I found out that my significant other had several profiles made on those seedy sex websites you click on by accident while watching porn. I stumbled upon it really not wanting to find it. His youtube channels username is some how linked ...
A. 20 May 2014: Look back on the 6 months with him and tell me what is the HARDEST thing for you to "get over"?
The fact that you had no idea that he was on all these slimy websites asking for sex partner?
The fact that he DIDN'T tell you, hey those were old a... (read in full...)
I don't play office politics and need help in dealing with my boss and coworkers!
Q. Dear Cupid This is work problem, i would like all your opinions. I was in this organization for past 8 years and work life was ok until 2-3 months back. I was transferred to a different department year back and i proved myself and i was given bigg...
A. 20 May 2014: Well you have two choices, play office politics or find a better work place/transfer.
I do find it ridiculous that after 8 years of satisfactory work they start to expect you to play into the "office politics". But it can be this departme... (read in full...)
No contact for three weeks and now we're going to meet -- is this a good idea?
Q. My ex and I broke up last month and we have been in no contact for three weeks. He broke up with me saying we are not compatible. I took it pretty bad because it came out of nowhere for me. I did all the things i wasnt supposed to lol as in texting ...
A. 19 May 2014: Make a LIST of what you need back from him, exchange that with him, but DO not fall into the "sex" trap. Because he might MISS that part of the relationship, but he was right you are NOT compatible, because he is not 100% there, he is busy with the ... (read in full...)
Who pays when the guys invite the girls?
Q. We went out with 2 guys yesterday, my friend and I. The whole discussion with her started after I noticed ( I think) that when It was time to pay, the guys were kind of hesitant ( may be I am mistaken). I was ready to offer to pay for my drinks, ...
A. 19 May 2014: I have always brought money to a date (to pay for myself) and I have never ordered things I couldn't afford.
If a GUY asks you out to a fancy dinner where you know you can't afford the $45+ split then TELL him maybe we should find a cheaper ... (read in full...)
After ten years we will be getting married ... IF we can agree on a venue!
Q. After 10 yrs of being together we finally have decided to get married this year but the problem is I want a church wedding and he wants a civil one. All girls dream is to walk along the isle with everyone watching and all he ever want is a simple c...
A. 19 May 2014: Is religion important to you? If so, I'd push for the church wedding.
If it's the WALKING down an isle, I would find a place where you can DO that and have a civil wedding.
Not all girls want the church thing, not all girls want the white e... (read in full...)
Some small complications with pregnancy, I need some advise.
Q. Hi all...looking for a bit of advice :) Im currently 30 weeks pregnant and have recently found out of a few small problems with the pregnancy. Thankfully nothing major but i am going into hospital twice a week to be monitored. I am happy that the...
A. 19 May 2014: 30 weeks?
I'd just bring the labor bag. It's not like you have to unpack it for an overnight stay.
You are almost there :) Hang in there!
... (read in full...)
I gave my crush a note explaining my feelings and he created a big scene in front of our friends by reading it aloud and humiliating me
Q. hey, having a bit of an issue. so, i've been friends with a guy for ages now, and recently, i developed feelings for him. so, i gave him a note explaining my feelings, because i'm not good at talking about these things face to face. a few day...
A. 19 May 2014: Yikes!
What a TOTAL dumbass! I hope HIS behavior will make that crush of yours dissipate instantly!
He is not worth your feelings NOR your tears. He is a immature jerk and he has absolutely no respect for you or any other girls.
There ... (read in full...)
Some of the things she confides turn me on?
Q. For a while now my best-friend, call her Cee has been in a relationship with this guy, who's also mostly my friend too. I's been going on for two years, and it was the most ridiculous relationship ever, and Cee was complaining about him constant...
A. 19 May 2014: It's normal. Pretty typical bodily response.
This is why PORN is such a huge industry. Think about it. People FAKING it for money and viewers get turned on whether they LIKE what they see or not.
Now, personally, I'd keep it to myself - but DO ... (read in full...)
Should I feel bad for moving on first?
Q. There's this girl that I liked at my college. We were friends for a good few months. We went out together, partied together, did crazy stuff and just all around enjoyed each other's company. We even entrusted each other with some pretty embarrassing ...
A. 19 May 2014: Nope, you did the right thing.
You know the saying nothing ventured, nothing gained. You tried to see if she wanted MORE and she didn't. She saw you as a friend. And she LOST a friend (so did you.) IT HAPPENS.
Trying to be friends because ... (read in full...)
My ex bf found nude pics that I sent to this one night stand guy.
Q. I was in a long term relationship (5yrs with him) we broke up, well technically I broke up with him cause I cheated on him. I never told him that I cheated on him and NEVER WILL, but we had other issues to split up. When I cheated on him I was out ...
A. 19 May 2014: Delete the pictures, own your actions. And TALK to your bf.
ASK him what he NEEDS from you to truly forgive you and then follow through.
I think you are being a little fake about it though, if you CHEATED on him and it's ONLY the pictures you... (read in full...)
Even though we've broken up he still tries to control me
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I had a roller coaster relationship. Our first time around he was on a dating site our whole 8 month relationship plus admitted to having feelings for his ex plus cheated so many times I can't count that high....
A. 18 May 2014: I agree with Auntie BimBim
CUT him out of your life and for GOODNESS SAKE satay away from exes, they weren't a good match when you dated, getting back together doesn't FIX a single thing.
Tell him to go fly a kite, if you KNOW you didn't CHEAT... (read in full...)
Went out to dinner with 2 colleagues, were they a little rude..?
Q. Need some opinions. I recently went out for lunch with 2 colleagues who are Asian, one 31 one 53, me early 40s, we get along well and I like them both, Im white. We went to food court and one of the women headed right for an asian restau...
A. 18 May 2014: I would just decline lunch invitation from them again. ANYONE who speaks another language that ONE person in the group can share in, KNOWS it's RUDE to speak their native tongue. Now if they were out an about JUST THE TWO OF THEM it would be fine to ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend but does he really want to be with her?
Q. myself and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 years ago when he went abroad. I was suppose to go out after him but decided I wasnt ready for the commitment. He has done alot of the chasing for the last two years and was always the one to contact me. He ...
A. 18 May 2014: I think your ex is being honest and rational. Whether he likes her, loves her, or is with her because SHE is there is none of your business.
I also think he is right. That you only want him (2 years later) because he now has a GF.
I think you s... (read in full...)
How do I know how much to worry during this first pregnancy?
Q. Hi. Looking for some advice. Im a first time mum...so naturally everything is new to me. Im 30 weeks pregnant today. The past 4/5 days my baby hasnt been moving alot at all ... not i know babys movements do change but things just dont feel right ...
A. 18 May 2014: Every baby is different. Every pregnancy is different too.
The further along you get the less you might feel movement, as the baby is slowly running out of room.
For me, drinking a glass of orange juice ALWAYS made an impression on th... (read in full...)
Found out I was pregnant after we broke up
Q. I have a lot to deal with right now. Some days I'm fine just going about my day, then everything comes back to me and i feel overwhelmed and depressed again. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my ex's baby. We broke up before i even knew i was pregnant. I...
A. 18 May 2014: It takes two people to make a baby, so YES you should tell him. Whether it was a rough break or not, he deserves to know. It's shouldn't be dumped on him when the Child Support comes after him for CS.
As for your family and friends, yes, it's abo... (read in full...)
Does this mean it's over?
Q. My boyfriend (of 2 years) and I had an argument last week. The argument was mainly because i started noticing that my boyfriend has been ignoring me lately, reading my texts and not responding, he even ignored me for a whole day. Throughout our ...
A. 17 May 2014: Instead of lashing out (not that I blame you!) I would have told him to seek help for the depression, because depression doesn't JUST hurt the person WITH the depression but everyone around them, INCLUDING you.
If you haven't heard from him in o... (read in full...)
Am I turning into a green-eyed monster?
Q. My partner and I befriended a lady on holiday last year and we became good friends, visiting and phoning frequently. This friend confided in us and was going through a very tough time in her personal life. We both tried to help her as much as w...
A. 16 May 2014: Your partner has the "knight in Shining Armor" syndrome. He thinks she NEEDS him and it makes him feel good to help this damsel in distress.
I find it iffy that he TOLD you that you two should BACK off from her, yet HE didn't back off. So basi... (read in full...)
What is the deal with people who say all women are bisexual or bi curious
Q. What is the deal with people who say all women are bisexual or at least bi curious? Then they say there are studies to back it up. Maybe so, but studies still cannot speak for every woman in the world. Or men for that matter. It's total bul...
A. 16 May 2014: I think it's bullshit.
I find woman more PLEASING to look at (generally) then men, but I have no sexual desire or attraction for women. But when it comes to sex... I want a male.
I would NOT be embarrassed to be bi-sexual, but I know I'm not. ... (read in full...)
He spends most of his time on the phone to her when I am with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, I found out he'd cheated on me 3 times during the first 10 months of our relationship both physical and emotional cheating. He 'realised his mistake' and I took him back. Our relationship ...
A. 15 May 2014: Doesn't matter about WHAT this girl does. YOUR BF didn't nip it in the bud, even though he KNOWS you wouldn't like it, he keeps it going, he just "hides it poorly" from you. Because... HIM getting his EGO stroked from another girl is MORE important ... (read in full...)
What does it mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy does these things? What does it mean? So my boyfriend of 9 months (we didn't have sex) started acting distant and irritated with me and I couldn't stop hurting:( He'd ignore me for days when we argue and get ...
A. 15 May 2014: Yea, I am on the bandwagon with the trying to hurt you by sending the video.
YOU dumped him with a "I'm going to REPLACE YOU" statement and he took 4 weeks.... to think up how to retaliate in a way that he felt would hurt you the most.
You wer... (read in full...)
Boyfriend showers with his friend?
Q. My boyfriend was telling me about a drunken night the other weekend, and told me he ended up showering with his (guy) friend. Then he told me that he'd also showered with a different (guy) friend on a couple occasions. I was confused, and as...
A. 15 May 2014: I don't really find it all that odd. Women go to the bathroom together, guys have no problem showering together.
I think it's just a locker-room mentality, nothing more.... (read in full...)
I said he wasn't making much effort so now I'm judgemental
Q. Im in a bit of a dilemma. I met a guy online for the first time Saturday. We got in really well talking. He was late and texted me on the way. Then he turned up and hadn't shaved or had his hair cut or ironed his shirt. Hes a nice looking guy so he ...
A. 15 May 2014: Wow, I think you have totally unrealistic expectations for a guy you don't even know.
So he wasn't clean shaven or had a fresh hair cut? seriously? First of all he wasn't entering Mr. UK. I get that you would have LIKED if he had put more of an EF... (read in full...)
I'm so sick and tired of being leeched off of.
Q. Here's the situation. I use to live alone in a two bedroom apartment. One room for me to sleep, use computer, hang out, etc. The other room was my workout room with all my weights, benchs, punching bag, etc. I enjoyed the solitary lifestyle. My own ...
A. 14 May 2014: Give them 2 weeks or 1 month (whatever suits YOU) and tell them it's time for them to move out. You can no longer afford to CARRY them all.
USE the bill they DIDN'T pay as an example.
IT IS OK to tell them they have to move out. They WILL g... (read in full...)
I want to stay friends with 'the other woman' but she says she hates me
Q. I am a separated male who still is friendly with my wife, we have 2 beautiful teenage girls and we remain very close after 6 years of separation. We still share family vacations and days out as a family and even the bed 1 - 2 times a month. I live...
A. 14 May 2014: You can't MAKE her want to talk to you. YOU can't MAKE her WANT to give any comfort or closure.
YOU made your bed and now... you have lie in it.
ALL you really CAN do is LEARN from this. So that the NEXT woman you "befriend" won't feel so be... (read in full...)
When I'm drinking I don't find him attractive anymore, why is this?
Q. I've never experienced this before and it's incredibly unusual for me! Usually they say when you drink someone looks more attractive.. But the guy I'm dating, he looks very good looking when I'm sober, yet once I've started drinking he starts ...
A. 14 May 2014: Reverse beer-goggles!
Basically, it could be that you find YOURSELF more attractive when drinking (thinking you can do better then him).
When sober, you see him for who he is, drunk or not.
... (read in full...)
Is she losing interest already?
Q. So I went on a date with a girl I met online last week. I thought it was great, we just walked and talked for like a few hours, although I thought that I might've been a bit more awkward than I normally am, but in general I thought we hit it off. At ...
A. 14 May 2014: If she is still on for the date I think you are OK. It can be that she feel a little more "relaxed" about how you two are moving along. Now if she cancels last minute I would take it as if she has lost interest.
Don't build a relationship based on... (read in full...)
He spends most of his time on the phone to her when I am with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, I found out he'd cheated on me 3 times during the first 10 months of our relationship both physical and emotional cheating. He 'realised his mistake' and I took him back. Our relationship ...
A. 14 May 2014: So he cheated on you once and you forgave it... And now he is at it again. My guess is... He assumes you will forgive him again and again. That way HE can do as he pleases and still have a GF.
The fact that he is being secretive about the snap-cha... (read in full...)
I want to stay friends with 'the other woman' but she says she hates me
Q. I am a separated male who still is friendly with my wife, we have 2 beautiful teenage girls and we remain very close after 6 years of separation. We still share family vacations and days out as a family and even the bed 1 - 2 times a month. I live...
A. 14 May 2014: I think you should LEAVE lady#2 alone.
She had NO idea that you weren't serious about her. She had no idea that she was JUST a fuck-buddy to you. SHE was ready to GIVE her her marriage/husband/security blanket FOR YOU. And what does she find out... (read in full...)
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