He always has an excuse -- how do I call him on it without seeming clingy?
Q. I have been on and off with a man for almost a year. We care deeply for eachother but I sometimes feel he is taking the lend out of me. We arrange dates and outings but when the day arrives he always cancels and I am left feeling very low about ...
A. 4 June 2014: I would stop making plans with him. THAT simple.
You talk about caring DEEPLY for each other, YOU might care deeply for him, but I'm not so sure his feelings are as strong.
Because, IF he CARED DEEPLY for you, he would MAKE time, you would ... (read in full...)
We met online chatting but turns out I know her from before. Do I write to her on facebook to tell her?
Q. So lately my dating life has been hit at a bit of bad luck to say the least. So much so that it's kind of became a running joke amongst people I know. Needless to say I've posted on this website a lot and my dating life can be described as the ...
A. 4 June 2014: I wouldn't contact her on Facebook.
If Tinder is a "hook up site" then she was either looking for a hook up OR was on for shits & grins.
You left her a message, IF she logs back into it, she will see it.
Contacting her on FB will seem cree... (read in full...)
I'm excited for my dad and his fiance but I'm still also upset, is it normal to feel selfish in this situation?
Q. I know this isn't really a question about a reltionship of my own but I am just in need of some advice. First things first about 8 years ago my mother passed away leaving just me and my dad, the following year my dad started seeing someone new ...
A. 4 June 2014: I think it's pretty normal.
I'm in my 40's and lost my mom little over 4 years ago. My mom and dad were married for 46 years. He met a lady 2 years ago and from how he talked about her I could sense he was interested but nothing happened. Then the... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always broke and using me for money.
Q. I have a bf and lately i noticed that he was always broke..he borrowed money and doesnt bother in paying..now he uses my phone line and it was cut due to overlimit and up to this time he didnt settle the bill its late for 2 weeks already and the ...
A. 3 June 2014: I agree with Eyeswideopen.
START saying no, tell him, I have LEND you so much money already that I HAVE NONE to give. You have racked up my phone and I can't PAY it.
See what he says, and GET your phone back, don't let him dig a hole and stick... (read in full...)
Was this a genuine error or a ploy to get back in touch?
Q. Ok I fell out with my close male friend 8 months ago We were gonna get together but because he was going through a bad split my emotional clingy mess pushed him away Now 8 months later he's emailed me saying he 'accidentally' used my address f...
A. 3 June 2014: I would just tell him to contact the seller and change the address. I would NOT read more into it.
Now IF he uses eBay a lot I can see it's weird, if he hasn't really used it since last time he used your address it can just be a mistake.... (read in full...)
I got drunk at a party recently. This sober boy hugged and kissed me. Does this mean he likes me?
Q. Hi I'm 16 and I got drunk at a small party last week but this sober boy made me feel special he hugged me and held my hand all night he even kissed my head. He said I had to prove I was straight to him and I laughed it off (nothing happened). At ...
A. 3 June 2014: My advice don't get drunk again for a while. At your age, it's not safe at all.
And I agree, the fact that he hasn't talked to you since, but was OK with hugging and kissing you while you were drunk (and vulnerable) I would take as, he was test... (read in full...)
I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a child.
Q. I'll try to keep this short. I'm 25 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter I've been dating for the past 4 years since I split from her father. The problem I'm having is I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a ...
A. 3 June 2014: I think it's true, that SOME men don't want to date a single mother, and don't want to raise another man's child. BUT not all men are like that. And those that are not like that, are NOT the bottom of the barrel kind of guys.
I wonder how L... (read in full...)
How to elevate my very low self-esteem.
Q. Hi, I'm 21, and I have a problem with my self-esteem. I never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy, which slightly bothers me (not much though), but my issue is that I continue to be afraid of dressing up to look good because I hate when people leer at ...
A. 3 June 2014: Glad to head you are working on the OCD and depression.
... (read in full...)
My "best friend" intervened behind my back. My Bf believed her lies. How can I get him back?
Q. My best friend broke me and my boyfriend up because she was jealous of our relationship. We had dated for a while and we were happy and everyone knew it. I was his first real and his longest relationship. I was also the first girl he really l...
A. 3 June 2014: He takes the word of your friend over you. Which means he didn't TRUST you to tell the truth.
You can't be with someone you don't trust or don't WANT to trust.
Whether you want to hear this or not, YOU are better OFF not dating this guy. He is ... (read in full...)
How do I keep my emotions at bay for my colleague?
Q. There's this woman that I confessed my feeling to just over a year ago. We were great friends for another year before that. After I confessed, she told me that she didn't feel the same. I accepted that but the friendship didn't survive. We're col...
A. 2 June 2014: You go out with friend (not her obviously) and met new people. You minimize the time you spend with your "office friend" outside of work.
And you need to start seeing her as an "un-dateble". If it helps, think of her as married. You would have as ... (read in full...)
My wife talks in her sleep about her ex fling should I talk to her ?
Q. My wife and I had some relationship issues 10 years ago and separated for a couple months. In that time she had a fling with an older man who was her aunt's roommate. That fling took me a long time to mostly get over. The last couple weeks my ...
A. 2 June 2014: Should you confront her? Um, confront makes it sound like she did something wrong. She isn't in CONTROL of her dreams and they honestly doesn't sound like pleasant dreams either.
I would bring it up though. Non confrontational. Honey this happened... (read in full...)
I'm happy to be a girl, I just don't want breasts
Q. I have always hated my breasts and I wish I didn't have them. My mom says I will change but I don't think I will because I just look in the mirror and cry and just hate everything I see I want a flat chest so badly and I just don't know what to do ...
A. 2 June 2014: I don't blame you. At your age with a C cup all boys are young to notice (or so it might feel) are your boobs.
I never had a problem with my boobs (I wasn't bigger then a B though) but the period thing really sucked. Still sucks at 45, to be hones... (read in full...)
My ex who tried to ruin my relationship has contacted me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in June after being together for a year and a half. We tried being friends but this proved impossible after I started seeing someone four months later. This lead to something of a bitter parting for us. She and her family ...
A. 2 June 2014: Yikes what a passive-aggressive cow your ex's mother is, no wonder where the EX learned her behavior.
I would NOT dignify her message with an answer, I would BLOCK her and her whole family ASAP.
BLOCK BLOCK and IGNORE.
And tell the GF so sh... (read in full...)
How long before it's not a rebound relationship?
Q. A man I've known vaguely for six months. I went out for a drink with him this eve. He was clearly into me. Body language, energy etc. He told me he feels empty and lost since breaking up with his girlfriend 2 months ago.So I assume he is just ...
A. 2 June 2014: How long was his last relationship?
I think if he ended it 2 months ago, it's still raw. He MIGHT have been DONE with the relationship a long time ago, but once you are on your own you start to miss the intimacy (not just the sex part) and peop... (read in full...)
How / Where do I begin asking questions about his past?
Q. I am a school teacher that recently moved to China for employment, and have a boyfriend living in the USA that is ten years older than I am. We have been dating for one year, and he has a lot of baggage. He has two children from his marriage and ...
A. 2 June 2014: I have to say if you used to run from conversations regarding his exes and his children, I think that is a pretty strong indication that you aren't sure about being with a guy with that much baggage.
Another issue is, HE IS STILL MARRIED and he i... (read in full...)
How to elevate my very low self-esteem.
Q. Hi, I'm 21, and I have a problem with my self-esteem. I never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy, which slightly bothers me (not much though), but my issue is that I continue to be afraid of dressing up to look good because I hate when people leer at ...
A. 2 June 2014: OK honey. Boyfriends should be the last on your to do list for now.
You say you have OCD, which type and are you in therapy? Top that off with depression, have you been diagnosed with it, been to a doctor, tried meds/therapy to deal with it?
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't seem interested in the pregnancy and he's been talking to his ex
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 months. We dated for nearly a year back when we were in highschool (9th grade) before he moved. We lost contact for about 5 years. Well I am now 19 weeks pregnant with his child. This will be my first...
A. 2 June 2014: I agree. YOU need to prepare for single motherhood, JUST like his ex. And YOU need to relax and focus on the baby. You are HALFWAYS there. Whether he chats up other girls or not, your priority should be the baby's and your health.
The fact tha... (read in full...)
Surely he will feel disappointed that my nipples are not the way he prefers?
Q. I have a question that may seem so trivial but it's worrying me . The man I am involved with has a thing for and a preference for large nipples. He really prefers them and they turn him on a lot but the problem is I have reasonably sized breasts but ...
A. 2 June 2014: Wait, what?
If he DISCARD you for something as TRIVIAL (let me repeat that TRIVIAL) as the size of your nipples which I might add you HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH, it's all genetic and unchangeable - the GOOD RIDDANCE to him. SERIOUSLY.
Would y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become a mean person and he says its because I nag at him all the time
Q. Hello everyone. So I don't normally come to these kinds of websites but I feel like I have no where to turn. I've read relationship books I've searched online for answers, talked with friends etc. So I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over ...
A. 2 June 2014: He is done with the relationship and doesn't have the balls to end it. He is hoping by being a total dickwad that YOU will grow a set and END it.
Which, I hope you will.
You say yo both want to stay together, I disagree. LOOK at his actions. ... (read in full...)
Should the bestman go to wedding if his girlfriend is banned?
Q. should my boyfriend who is bestman go to his bestfriend wedding ? i am his girlfriend of 20months i had an unforeseen fallout with the bride tobe and now she and her groom have banded me from the wedding. it was a petty disagrement about a party ...
A. 2 June 2014: I agree.
YOU are making this about YOU and a "petty" fight 15 months ago, but YOU are the one being petty.
I can see that they decided to NOT want you there for the reason that whatever happened 15 months ago cause drama that THEY (the bride ... (read in full...)
A cheater who wants out
Q. i've been trying to leave nothing works what should i do.i have been in a relationship for ten years been married for five.after 2 years in my relationship i told my husband that i would like to leave because i'm not happy;he is a scorpio by the ...
A. 1 June 2014: I can't see why you need your husband's permission to walk away or why it's your husband's fault that you cheat.
FILE for divorce, move out and take care of yourself.
Seems pretty simple.... (read in full...)
I really hope I haven't ruined things with this guy! What do I do now?
Q. Can someone please give me some advice?!!! For the last 6 weeks I have been on 5 dates with a guy from work I really like. The first few weeks were great and he made me feel fantastic! He brought chocolate to my office for me, we went on romantic ...
A. 1 June 2014: I think he has sensed that you are ready for a relationship, so "settling" for a friendship with him isn't realistic. Because you might (not saying that you are, but you might) be friends in hopes that he will change his mind down the road.
I'd s... (read in full...)
My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online and now her parents are offering to pay for his ticket so he can meet her! I'm scared that he'll never come back!
Q. Hi Looking for some advice! My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online 4 yrs ago! They have been chatting on fb and Skype since and now he wants to go to America to meet her! Apparently her parents will pay for his ticket!! I have t...
A. 1 June 2014: I spend a year (from late 17 - late 18) working abroad. And it was a blast I came home once or was it twice? in that year. I wrote/called my parents, family & friends pretty regularly and was both happy and sad when the year was up.
I went ove... (read in full...)
I really hope I haven't ruined things with this guy! What do I do now?
Q. Can someone please give me some advice?!!! For the last 6 weeks I have been on 5 dates with a guy from work I really like. The first few weeks were great and he made me feel fantastic! He brought chocolate to my office for me, we went on romantic ...
A. 1 June 2014: I think, unfortunately that you shot yourself in the foot .. twice.
Once you wanted him on your bed, but no sex on the 4th date. Well that is a bit of a tease and not really a smart thing to ask. He did the right thing in being a GENTLEMA... (read in full...)
My bf of 3 years is getting annoyed, irritated or angry with me almost all the time!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years is getting annoyed or irritated or angry with me almost all the time. I am not even sure what i do that set him off, its like i tip-toe around him all the time, its like i am on probation and he is evaluating me. ...
A. 1 June 2014: You need to ask him. Even if THAT gets him mad.
And you need to consider walking away, because if he FOR NO REASON whatsoever calls you names and verbally abuse you, he is doing it because he CAN. Because YOU allow it. NOW I'm NOT saying this is ... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: With your follow up, ALL I can guess is that she is being a BITCH. Like CMMP suggested.
She MIGHT want you to see what you missed out on, even IF she doesn't WANT to get back together she wants to punish you for not being ready to get married.... (read in full...)
I'm done with dating and want no more to do with women!
Q. I don't even know when to begin...it's like every time I try I somehow get used. My troubles started four girls ago and yet somehow I haven't learned my lesson. Let me tell you about myself; I'm twenty-three, college graduate, and living at home. I ...
A. 1 June 2014: Been there done that (though I got fed up with men) I took a good 2 YEARS of dating, focused on my family, friends, art and myself. It was actually a good 2 years. Except I DID miss the intimacy you can have with a partner (not just the sex but ... (read in full...)
What do you think of my poem to my ex?
Q. Young lady's I sent a poem to an ex, I wrote, just like to know if you think, she would of like it, an she ever has regretted breaking up with me, its been almost two years no contact, this is the only time I did this, she left me to go back to her ...
A. 1 June 2014: 2 years of no contact and then you want to catch up by sending her a POEM?
No, just no. Do NOT send it.
And no, she won't regret dumping you for an abusive ex because you send her a poem. It will come off a weird and creepy and IF she is st... (read in full...)
Is it wise to play it cool now?
Q. I fell out with my close male friend eight months ago We got close too soon and as a result became clingy and too emotional and pushed him away Last night I saw him at a friends leaving do He saw me and looked awkward so I just remained calm ...
A. 1 June 2014: If you think you would become "clingy" again around him, I'd suggest you don't do anything but keep being polite when you run into him.
If you are "over" whatever possessed you to become clingy (did you fancy him and wanted more perhaps?) but no l... (read in full...)
We are meeting for the first time and her parents want to know my job? Do I say I'm not working?
Q. Hi, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma, and I need some advice. I met this girl in her late twenties on a dating site. She made the first move. We've only traded a couple of messages back and forth, and are planning to meet tomorrow. She...
A. 1 June 2014: Her parents might be curious, I can't blame them. But I think they could have asked her and since YOU didn't tell her about your job situation they made her curious.
JUST be honest, how hard is that? Now if she ends it because you don't have a j... (read in full...)
How do I confront my boyfriend about pictures and files I've found?
Q. Dear Cupid, I having problems trusting my boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 months. He's my first boyfriend and he says he loves me deeply but I find it hard to believe him because of some of the things I have discovered on his phone ...
A. 1 June 2014: Would I confront him? No, I'd dump him.
He isn't over his ex (and she isn't over him despite that he cheated on her).
YOU don't trust him (and for good reason) and THAT is what made you snoop. You know what though? Snooping only makes YOU f... (read in full...)
How do I prepare myself for the breakup? And should we stay friends?
Q. For the past year and 7 months, I've been involved with this guy. Even though it's been a rough year, I've gotten really attached to him- I lost my virginity to him and everything. However it's become more and more apparent he isn't "ready" or...
A. 1 June 2014: Girl, you are living in la-la land. You think you two would be perfect, if only you tried harder. NO. Just no. He doesn't WANT a relationship with you (or any other girl) right now because he thinks the still have a bunch of wild oats to sow.
... (read in full...)
In love with a guy who hates me
Q. Hi, I have never had a boyfriend and I am still a virgin despite being 20 years old. I fell in love with one of the first guys who ever talked to me in high school, even though we never talked much. We just had two classes together and he would ...
A. 1 June 2014: It's not love you feel it's lust and infatuation.
YOU already know that he wasn't good news for you. The fact that he was HONEST about his intentions (use you for sex) should be a HUGE clue.
The guy is smart enough to understand that ... (read in full...)
Co-worker found out I have a crush on him
Q. So I have a little problem. For about 6/7 months, I have had a crush on a co-worker, and now he knows. So it was my birthday today, and we were all at work. I was given a card from all my co-workers and waited until the end of the day to read it....
A. 1 June 2014: Amen to WiseOwlE's advice.
Be professional at work and play it cool.... (read in full...)
I want her molester jailed
Q. I'm 31 and my girlfriend is 20. She is my life and I love her so much and i'd do anything for her. We are together 1year and half . Last night alot of things she told me about a guy who groomed her at 12 years to 14 and i cant get it out of my ...
A. 1 June 2014: I don't blame you for wanting to punish a guy who hurt a loved one. Not at all.
But you should NOT have been the one to tell the sister or the rest of the family. IT should have been HER choice to tell them or not. YOU need to trust that THIS is ... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: My guess is she is trying new things to met new people and be social, so she picks a group that she knew OFF (yours) and joined.
So many people join classes and groups, not because they have a burning passion for it, but because it's is a GOOD alt... (read in full...)
In a man's mind, why would he ask you to turn off the light to kiss him? I thought that men liked women to do the opposite.
Q. What does it mean when a man wants to kiss you in the dark? Call me paranoid but I get the feeling that's a bad sign. I have self image related problems and far less from perfect but I'm always trying to improve the quality of my life- although...
A. 31 May 2014: Well there cna be several reasons why he does it.
1. because he senses you are holding back. With the lights out YOU might be more comfortable.
2. HE is more comfortable with the lights out.
3. He is trying to "set" a seductive ambiance.
... (read in full...)
Sexting made me feel sick, should I tell my new boyfriend?
Q. I feel really ashamed. I have never sex texted a guy or had phone sex. My ex of two months was more interested in that than seeing me as he worked shifts. We broke up 3 months ago because he wanted a no strings thing. I met a very sweet guy soon ...
A. 30 May 2014: I think you need to figure out WHY exactly you went ahead with the sexting. (I don't know is not a valid excuse and it won't help your current BF situation either).
And no a bad break up is not a good excuse either, it would make a lot more sen... (read in full...)
Is cell phone snooping okay?
Q. Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...
A. 30 May 2014: No, I don't think it's OK either.
I think it show a lack of self-control, trust issues and respect for the other person and his/her's privacy.
ONE thing is to SHARE a text conversation with your partner or friend but for them to go through yo... (read in full...)
Sexting made me feel sick, should I tell my new boyfriend?
Q. I feel really ashamed. I have never sex texted a guy or had phone sex. My ex of two months was more interested in that than seeing me as he worked shifts. We broke up 3 months ago because he wanted a no strings thing. I met a very sweet guy soon ...
A. 30 May 2014: What I think you should do is BLOCK your ex's number. You can count on him to NOT call/text you again.
And maybe you need to consider WHY you "played" along with the ex. You could at ANY point in time the conversation turned sexual have ended it... (read in full...)
How long until I can add him back as a friend on FB?
Q. I got rejected by a guy a couple of weeks ago who I thought I really liked and I deleted him off facebook straight away. We haven't spoken since then and I've had time to realise now that I don't want him romantically, but I do want to be friends in ...
A. 30 May 2014: I'm with FA.
Though I don't get why you feel you need to ADD him back. UNLESS you two start BEING friend (off Facebook) what's the point in adding him? To boost your "friends" number on Facebook?... (read in full...)
My ex who tried to ruin my relationship has contacted me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in June after being together for a year and a half. We tried being friends but this proved impossible after I started seeing someone four months later. This lead to something of a bitter parting for us. She and her family ...
A. 21 February 2014: Auntie BimBim is right.
You EX isn't texting/contacting you because she CARES about you and YOUR life - she reaches out because she WANTS to. She wants to remind you that she is still there. The text was about HER. You ex isn't GOING to apologiz... (read in full...)
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