Ex girlfriend agreed to meet next month. Now what?
Q. My ex and I dated for 2.5 years, where in the process I let myself go mentally to places I never should have, and I refused to seek help for my emotional issues until recently. I ended up breaking her heart by lying to her, throwing her und...
A. 22 July 2016: She might have agreed to met up to get some sort of "closure" to perhaps understand better why you did what you did.
It's really impossible for us to say.
If I were you I'd just met up with no expectations.... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend agreed to meet next month. Now what?
Q. My ex and I dated for 2.5 years, where in the process I let myself go mentally to places I never should have, and I refused to seek help for my emotional issues until recently. I ended up breaking her heart by lying to her, throwing her und...
A. 19 July 2016: Don't push for what YOU want. Apologizing was the right thing to so, but it DOESN'T erase all the crap you did in the past. She hasn't forgotten.
So while... "I'm not interested in meeting with her just to eat and say hi. I have tried to be clear... (read in full...)
Were his family opposed to me? Or did he just want me for one thing? We broke up but he said we could still be FWB.
Q. Hi, I met this guy nearly 2 years ago, we were really good friends. He then became flirty with me and I had an attraction to him, but then he said we could just be fwb I guess I couldn't go through with this idea and we agreed to continue being fr...
A. 19 July 2016: I think it comes down to the fact that you IGNORED what he said from the get go. He asked for a FWB in the beginning because SEX is what he wanted from you, company, "friendship" were welcome too, but he DIDN'T want to date you as he KNEW there was ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move out? I feel trapped!
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of 4 years lost his job and he had no money and nowhere to go so I said he could stay with me while he sorted himself out. He got a job a year ago and is still living with me and not paying for anything except food because he pays ...
A. 19 July 2016: Give him 30 days to move out. Tell him it's NON negotiable and you don't feel there is room to have two added kids visiting for an extended stay..
While I do agree with him that his financial situation is NONE of your business.. he IS NOT contribu... (read in full...)
This girl keeps texting and ringing my boyfriend, what should we do?
Q. There's this girl who keeps ringing and texting my boyfriend. She rings him like 5 times a day no joke! But my boyfriend doesn't answer, she sent him a message the other day saying how they are meant to be friends and how friends don't ignore each ...
A. 19 July 2016: "We" shouldn't do anything, this is on HIM. HE needs to tell her look I can't talk to you, hang with you because it's detrimental to my relationship, so I'm going to block you". THEN HE blocks her.
She KEEPS texting because HE keeps replying... (read in full...)
I am better off out of the relationship but seeing him still hurts!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend earlier this year. I was with him for two years and I always suspected he was biopolar or had a personality disorder. He also has issues with alcohol and a temptation for other things too. And i suspect he wasn'...
A. 19 July 2016: We all try and figure out what the other person was thinking and thus... allow them to suck the life out of us in the process. I agree there probably isn't much thought at ALL behind his behavior other than him feeling entitled to "punish" you for ... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 18 July 2016: So negotiate with him? Tell him you are moving out, that you wish the car to be transferred into YOUR name, you will take care of insurance etc, and in return you won't ask for ANY of the money you put into the little "love-shack" in the back ... (read in full...)
I am better off out of the relationship but seeing him still hurts!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend earlier this year. I was with him for two years and I always suspected he was biopolar or had a personality disorder. He also has issues with alcohol and a temptation for other things too. And i suspect he wasn'...
A. 18 July 2016: Good for you for TAKING back your power, OP!
I know that the Police not always know what to do in these cases, but in YOUR case there is precedence. HE was given a restraining order before because of his behavior. So it's NOT like there isn't AL... (read in full...)
How long after a break up should I find new love?
Q. Hello so I just ended a relationship with someone I have been with for five years. I was wondering how long I should wait until I would get into another relationship. He was my first love but I grew out of it fast because we dated young. Things have ...
A. 18 July 2016: 5 years seems excessive. WAY excessive, specially for someone in their 20's.. now if you were 13... year 5 years might be a good amount of time to wait, but you are an adult now.
I think you will know when you feel ready. I think when you have pro... (read in full...)
A girl is flirting with my boyfriend. Should I ask him about this girl? Or go see the girl myself?
Q. Hello I have been with my boyfriend for almost 12 months now, and I have been really happy. Everything has been fine until this year, when he was told he had to attend a computer course at a technical college once a week. Since going to col...
A. 18 July 2016: I agree with SVC,
Don't put blame on the girl, she is NOT the one you are in a relationship with. YOUR BF is. And he has ACTIVILY been texting her, when he COULD have told her:" hey I got a GF".
You don't HAVE to check his phone. You alrea... (read in full...)
Should I stop worrying about him and continue working on myself ? My husband is being very cold towards me
Q. My husband and I have had a rocky marriage of 4 years. I have a very good share of the blame for that, as I have been very selfish and immature in our marriage. On my husband's end, he is very controlling and emotionally abusive, pretty ...
A. 18 July 2016: Find a marriage counselor. JUST moving back is NOT going to fix the underlying issues you two have.
IF you belong to a church look and see if your priest/rabbi/pastor offers marriage counseling.
If you don't I'd actually find one online/yello... (read in full...)
How do I live harmoniously with my mum?
Q. I am a 41 year old divorced woman who managed to get out of an alcoholic marriage. My ex husband just drank himself silly and ignored me. I am an Asian woman and my mum is 67. She and I are close and I try to do a lot for her. She lives in India ...
A. 18 July 2016: I think the RIGHT guy for YOU will understand why your mom is living with you part time. YOUR mom understands and encourage you to date, so the only thing REALLY holding you back is you, and your fears of what if's.
Go out and date, if you feel... (read in full...)
I magnify everything into the worst case scenario. What can I do to stop doing this?
Q. I am finding it difficult to live in my own skin. And it has become worse and worse over time. Every ache and pain I have I magnify into the worst case scenario and think I am dying. And I panic and have massive amounts of stress and anxiety. ...
A. 18 July 2016: I think you should try a therapist. What you are having sounds like a combination of intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
Your doctor sees a HEALTHY woman before him and thus tell you that you are "just fine" - however, he can't look inside your hea... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any ideas I can try to help me with my 2 year old son? I'm concerned about his actions
Q. i really need some advice. im 22 years old and i have two beautiful kids. my daughter is 3 soon to be 4 and my son is just tuned 2. my kids have very diff. personalities. my daughter is very calm and very well behaved, she is amazing. my so...
A. 18 July 2016: While I do think some things are genetic, I don't think having a temper is necessarily genetic.
I think your best option is to start keeping a journal. That means OBSERVING him 24/7 (when you and he are not sleeping or when he is with others).... (read in full...)
Should I be postponing things because I'm feeling lonely and unwanted as a 23 year old virgin?
Q. I'm having this mental block recently where not having sex has made me postpone plans about my life. I was a very awkward kid and didnt become more comfortable in myself until recently. I have one ex girlfriend but we never had intercourse just...
A. 18 July 2016: Life isn't fair OP, not does it owe you anything.
You ask if you should postpone things because you don't get sex? Are you seriously thinking that the World will wait on you to achieve that "goal" ? That is not how it works.
There are MAN... (read in full...)
Would sending flowers be the right way to get the attention of a beautiful woman I met while working as a contractor at her workplace?
Q. So I work in a variety of places as I am a contractor and last week in my workplace I met the most beautiful woman. We got on well and I think there was a connection and mutual attraction there. As it would have been unprofessional d...
A. 18 July 2016: Nope, don't send flowers. What IF this beautiful girl has a BF or a fiance or husband?
You BARELY know her.
And yes, it's unprofessional.
Now I LOVE getting flower, but not from strangers.... (read in full...)
He says now is the time to get married. I'm feeling pressured about this. What should I do?
Q. , please I need your advice. I'm so confused:( so I'm 26, graduate and working. So is my bf. He's 33. We've been dating for 8 months and he's so bent on getting married. I just feel the pressure cause that's all he talks about! Is 8 months enough t...
A. 18 July 2016: Sounds like he wants a wife, and you fit the bill. Doesn't mean you HAVE to marry him RIGHT now.
IF you are not ready, you are not ready.
For some 8 months is enough time, for others it's not.
I think I would tell him if he wants a wife R... (read in full...)
Dating 101 help please. When women dump a guy do they ever consider how much it hurts?
Q. Do women ever think about the guy they dump, who treated them like they were an angel, am talking about lets say six months down the road, after being with other guys, like I seen an ex this weekend, but I didn't talk to her, she didn't deserved ...
A. 18 July 2016: Being dumped hurt. Having to dump someone is no fun either. And the whole... " I treat them lie a princess" OK, so what? They don't OWE you eternal gratitude for treating them well.
Maybe dial it down a bit, don't BEND OVER backwards for the woma... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 18 July 2016: I'm sorry I'd let him have the car and GTFO. You BF is 34 but acting like a horny teenager pestering you for sex and treating you like a walking sex-toy.
And a 34 year old who lives in his parents back yard.. in what? His old play-hou... (read in full...)
I am better off out of the relationship but seeing him still hurts!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend earlier this year. I was with him for two years and I always suspected he was biopolar or had a personality disorder. He also has issues with alcohol and a temptation for other things too. And i suspect he wasn'...
A. 18 July 2016: Are you keeping a journal with time/date/event?
If not, I think you should, because he IS harassing you and THAT needs to stop. IF you have to, get that restraining order renewed.
As for him stalking you (and yes that is what he did when he s... (read in full...)
I don't want to let go of someone I love but my husband keeps on responding to this girl on line. What can I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I have been with this man a total of 7 years married for 3 and he unfortunately feel in a web web of lies with one of his friends from another country.. And he sent her inappropriate messages and a video of him self " releaving...
A. 17 July 2016: I think he should :
1. change his passwords (never know if he was dumb enough to share them with her)
2. BLOCK her.
3. IF she posts ANYTHING with his face in it without his consent, he can seek legal advice, but should start with FB and... (read in full...)
Boyfriend would rather talk with his mother and not me about issues?
Q. I am falling out of love because every time, my boyfriend and I have a problem, he tells his mom and she never gives great advice. She tells him to dump me but he is my first boyfriend. I don't understand. I thought she liked me but I guess not. We ...
A. 17 July 2016: I agree with Aidan here,
The reason the mom is telling him to dump you is because YOUR BF is painting you with an "ugly" brush, making all the issues your fault, and... a mom would take her child's side if she believed him or... didn't want to ... (read in full...)
I am better off out of the relationship but seeing him still hurts!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend earlier this year. I was with him for two years and I always suspected he was biopolar or had a personality disorder. He also has issues with alcohol and a temptation for other things too. And i suspect he wasn'...
A. 17 July 2016: I think you dodged a cannonball when you dumped this guy! There IS a silver lining here. YOU are OUT of a rotten, unhealthy, toxic relationship with one MESSED up man.
Now if you two still move in the same geographical area, it's going to be hard ... (read in full...)
A real dilemma......
Q. Many of you know me for my brilliant advice on this site.... HOWEVER, I now have an enigma of my own.... for which I'd like to ask others their opinion. To wit: If there are two people who are being intimate.... and they have no in...
A. 17 July 2016: Silly man!
It's just called sex.
Not really seeing the dilemma here.
If you call it pre-marital.. then MARRIAGE is something that are in the card/future... since you say it's NOT in the cards/plans who call it pre-?
Then again Amer... (read in full...)
Choosing Boyfriend or potential job?
Q. Hi there, I hope you are all well. I am kindly seeking advice for what is for me a big issue and which I keep thinking over. Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years this December. We met in the beginning of our ...
A. 17 July 2016: I'd go for the job.
As I see it... HE would do the same. And you two do NOT have the same end goals. (you want to stay in the UK, he doesn't).
IF he decides that maybe London isn't so bad (as he gets to be with YOU) who knows? But I would not ... (read in full...)
I found out he's still married, but separated, he lied about his son and he's a borderline hoarder!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating a guy for 2 1/2 years. He is older than me (I am 35 and he is 53), and when we started seeing each other he said he had been single for awhile. He has a house that is in disrepair, and approaching hoarder status. ...
A. 16 July 2016: He treats you like a mistress, not a GF.
And you ARE a "sort of mistress" till the day that divorce is final.
I think his lies are huge and I would not be as forgiving as you have been.
NOT inviting you to his son's wedding, well I understa... (read in full...)
Every one she has cheated on me with was a guy. I wonder, what should I do?.
Q. I am a 25 year old stud lesbian I've been with the same woman since we were 16. We are married. She is the love of my life and couldn't picture one minute with out her in my life But we have had are bad times we have both cheated on each other I ...
A. 15 July 2016: My guess is she thinks that cheating with a guy isn't as "serious" as if she had been cheating with another woman. Kind of like how straight people seem to think that a woman cheating with another woman isn't as hard for a guy as if she cheated with ... (read in full...)
I have major TRUST issues. Is this my karma for my actions? Or is this all I deserve?
Q. I am a single Mother in my late 20s. I honestly think I will always be single. I have major trust issues. My own doing. As when I was 20 I had an affair with my friends Dad who is the father to my Child. As you can imagine yes I left him a...
A. 15 July 2016: Did the married guy #2 know you had a past? No, I don't think so, but I do think he saw "easy prey", a sweet young naive vulnerable woman.
The fact that he didn't tell you from the get go that he was married makes me think that he was counting... (read in full...)
I need help. Who can help me with these issues? Who would accept me like this?
Q. I am 37 years old and i still play with dolls. I feel that they're real. I give them a name and a voice as well. I sleep with them and I'm very over protective as well. My son hates one of my dolls because he feels i give them more attention...
A. 15 July 2016: Sounds like this is partly obsessive behavior, as you mention you HAVE to take them out daily. Obsessive behavior is rarely healthy, but it doesn't mean you are "doomed" to continue the behavior.
I'd suggest you find a therapist who speciali... (read in full...)
How can I stop looking for revenge? Is it a case of "what goes around comes around" ?
Q. How can I stop looking for revenge? I just recently got dumped by my ex of 6 months via text - my stuff all is still is at his house . This was two months ago and since being hurt the stage has moved on to anger and waves of depression. I have ta...
A. 15 July 2016: Just take your time and accept he wasn't a good match.
Wanting revenge for what? For not wanting to be yours? For not wanting you?
Yes, rejection sucks, but what sucks even more would have been him stringing you along while not really wanting t... (read in full...)
I understand that I shouldn’t have gone for his best mate but I was drunk and he got with other people! I need advice!
Q. Hello, I was seeing this guy from uni for 4 months and he used to come round mine all the time and it wasn't just for sex. He told me he liked me and I really liked him but it was casual and we both agreed we could see other people. I started to m...
A. 15 July 2016: So do you get that CASUAL and OPEN isn't what you want?
**The drama only happened because we were seeing other people.**
No the drama didn't happen because you were seeing other people, but because you were BOTH trying to manipulate each ... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends but I’m not sure what to do!
Q. Ok so I was seeing this guy for about 3 months. I met him in work and he found me on Facebook to ask me out so he did all the chasing. Things started to get kinda physical a few dates in so I had to tell him I was still a virgin because I just ...
A. 15 July 2016: You know, if you are comfortable with friendship only, don't take off your shirt. Not to please him or yourself.
HE has ALREADY told you where you stand, HE was NOT looking for anything serious. What he didn't tell you is that he wants sex and ... (read in full...)
How can I get my dad to keep in contact with me again?
Q. How can I get my dad to keep in contact with me again?. Ww get on well sometimes, and I am like my dad in some ways because we like the same things, and I even get my looks from his side of the family, but we have clashed a lot too. We can both have ...
A. 15 July 2016: Why not invite him and your stepmom around for dinner or lunch? And stay away from topics that makes you two fight.
Unfortunately, you can't "make" him do anything he doesn't want to, but you can TRY and reach out.
You write:
"Other people sho... (read in full...)
I understand that I shouldn’t have gone for his best mate but I was drunk and he got with other people! I need advice!
Q. Hello, I was seeing this guy from uni for 4 months and he used to come round mine all the time and it wasn't just for sex. He told me he liked me and I really liked him but it was casual and we both agreed we could see other people. I started to m...
A. 15 July 2016: You know, being drunk is not a valid excuse. YOU kissed his best mate on purpose, let's be honest.
You and this guy are/were NOT in a relationship and you had BOTH agreed that you could see others. He saw other girls, you got jealous.. you went... (read in full...)
I have major TRUST issues. Is this my karma for my actions? Or is this all I deserve?
Q. I am a single Mother in my late 20s. I honestly think I will always be single. I have major trust issues. My own doing. As when I was 20 I had an affair with my friends Dad who is the father to my Child. As you can imagine yes I left him a...
A. 15 July 2016: No I don't think Karma works quite like that, or maybe it does? However, I don't think the Universe is waiting to hurt you for making a huge mistake when you were 20.
What instead might be happening is YOU not learning from your mistakes... (read in full...)
Wants a brood mare? Should I meet him? Been talking to him online but some of his questions are a concern.
Q. I know this sounds silly however I have been talking to this guy online. I told him I would meet him as a friend. He has been asking some off questions like if I will be fertile when we have planned to meet. He has asked several times and also w...
A. 15 July 2016: BIG red alarm bells are going on here.
WHY on Earth are you even considering this? How is your fertility ANY of his business? HE is a STRANGER.
And yes, there are guys out there who like to father offspring and then leave it to the mothers to r... (read in full...)
I need a job. I have social anxiety. But now I have a fear of going outside. How can these issues be addressed?
Q. It's very hard for me to go outside. The thought me leaving the house makes me feel very anxious. I feel safer indoors. I don't go out til it's necessary for me too, like an appointment. I don'the leave my bed either. I need a job, but i'm afr...
A. 15 July 2016: Maybe consider working on your anxiety issues first? Like find a therapist and work through it? THEN when you feel you have to tool to deal more with the "outside world" (as in apply for jobs). Deal with your anxiety AND anger issues, neither will ... (read in full...)
I love my wife but she is causing me distress. What do I do with this woman?
Q. Hello this is my first time to ever post on a relationship site, but have had problems with my wife for many years and have even separated for a year and she made all these promises that things would be different. She has a problem with drinking...
A. 15 July 2016: She isn't going to change OP, I think you know that.
Staying with her is NOT any better for your son than divorcing her. Trust me, he HEARS things, he SEES things, but he doesn't totally UNDERSTAND them. So what he is seeing is that it is OK fo... (read in full...)
What to do? He says if I don't work out with both of them then he wants a divorce
Q. My husband had an affair, after I found out and got past the initial shock, I approached his mistress. Asked her to have a threesome. We did, it went well. It didn't take any of the pain away that I am feeling, like I guess I hoped it would. ...
A. 15 July 2016: Why on EARTH would you have a 3-some with the mistress of your husband?
I'm mind-boggled!
I think your husband is:
1. lying (he is STILL seeing her)
2. he is being absolutely UNREALISTIC in his demands that you not only work out with ... (read in full...)
Really like this guy, but if he did like me wouldn't he really want to see me?
Q. hello, I have been speaking to this guy for nearly 4 years on and off. we have always said we care for each other and have a natural connection but haven't done anything about it due to my travelling and uni and his work. We text all day everyday...
A. 15 July 2016: 4 years and nothing have happened? Yes, this is dead in the water like Titanic... no future there.
... (read in full...)
I even feel physically sick when I hear their voices now, and that's not a joke. What are my options in this toxic situation?
Q. My husband comes from a very toxic dysfunctional family. They use each other, controlling, yelling, shouting, violence, immaturity but I am a calm person, trustworthy hardworking etc totally different from them. I think he is starting to real...
A. 15 July 2016: I would sit your husband down and tell him that you are FINE with him seeing his family and spending time with them, but that YOU can't do that yourself. That you love him, not his family.
And that you don't WANT to have arguments over his fami... (read in full...)
What would you do or say to a compulsive liar?
Q. I appear to have a lot of drama in my life at present. I've noticed a large chunk of it has come from a friend of mine who is a compulsive liar. So heres a list of the lies she's told me over the past couple of months; her mums got breast cancer, ...
A. 14 July 2016: I'm with Auntie BimBim
Tell her straight up, I can't be friends anymore when you spread malicious lies about me. (the club thing) After that? Id just block her and delete her.
I think it's really impossible to be friends with someone who lies... (read in full...)
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