Should I ask him if he is messing about with his old flings?
Q. Hi everyone, I got back with my ex who promised he would like to have a serious relationship with me and would not mess with other gals again. My rule is he can have his friends but he can't cheat - just be honest and he is free to go. Don...
A. 8 August 2016: Don't beat yourself up.
You didn't MAKE him cheat. And you didn't judge him for his past. NOTHING wrong in that.
Now you know. A guy who hasn't really dealt with issues from his past doesn't make a good partner.
Let it go. And let him go. H... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 31 July 2016:
Be polite and professional at work, like you would ANY other co-worker.
She hasn't done anything to warrant being ignored. Just don't have such great expectations of her as you did.... (read in full...)
He demonstrated flakiness in the past. Yet now he's given me his number? Can I trust him, this time?
Q. The first time he was supposed to call me after he gets off work at 3pm to finalize our plans but I didn't hear from him untill 10:00pm, something had came up on his end. He apologize profusely and asked how he can make it up to me. Subsquently,he...
A. 31 July 2016: He is who he is. And honestly? I don't think he will be less flaky than he was before.
The fact that he just said hi and gave you his number? Means he doesn't feel he did anything wrong in the past.
I wouldn't go met up unless you can accept t... (read in full...)
Is it time for me to give up on finding love?
Q. Hello there, I am a 21 year old college student with NF1 (Neurofibromitosis Type 1). I have never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or even flirted with a girl. My parents are still really protective over me and are really suspicious of what I do (why ...
A. 30 July 2016: Absolutely, agree with BrownWolf here.
People live and love with ALL kind of diseases, issues etc. Why give up on things before you have even tried to see if it's for you?
I don't think your parents would want you o become a hermit for the r... (read in full...)
Why do so many men believe they have a right to sex without a condom?
Q. I'm sorry if this comes across as a rant but I'm really annoyed at the moment and looking to hear opinions around whether I've been unlucky or if what I'm experiencing is the norm. Why do the men I meet seem to think it's their right to get to ...
A. 30 July 2016: DISCLAIMER - I am Not saying ALL men are like that, but there is a HUGE group that is.
I don't think the majority of men really understand what women HAVE to go through trying to AVOID pregnancies. I don't think they understand WHY some women CA... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 30 July 2016: Why?
Because she is trying to be nice. She doesn't KNOW how to tell you that she only regard you as friendly co-worker.
This is so classic "I was raised to be nice to everyone" behavior. So many girls are raised to not offend others, to be... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I don't want my boyfriend to go drinking with his female colleagues?
Q. Hey guys :) so I've boyfriend for 6 years now, we are usually very happy, and we've been living together for 1 year. Neither of us go out drinking a lot (we are both very homely). Well recently boyfriend started a new office job, and his team has...
A. 30 July 2016: If you don't think he would cheat what's the problem?
He can't be JOINED to you at the hip.
IT is a good thing for an introverted person to WANT to go out and to go out and make friends.
Yes, I get that it seems off that he all of a sudden ... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 30 July 2016: I agree with Wise.
I think you have ignored ALL the advice you were given LAST time you posted about this girl. Because it WASN'T what you wanted to hear.
She IS NOT a friend, she is a FRIENDLY co-worker. She doesn't WANT you on her Facebook ... (read in full...)
Should I be chasing the romantic highs
Q. Is the fairytale real or are relationships hard work? I've been with my boyfriend 3 years; lived together for 1.5. I love him dearly and we get on well 99 per cent of the time. While I love spending time with him and get the warm fuzzy feeling ...
A. 30 July 2016: Fairy tales are called JUST that because THAT is what they are. TALES. FANTASIES. WISHFUL THINKING in story form, not... Lessons in life.
Relationships are reality. Reality is relationships are WORK. What you put in.. you can get out. And what you... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 30 July 2016: Good luck OP.
I hope HE is worth all that effort you are going through, and if not... you will know in the future that setting boundaries is OK and that YOU don't "need" a man to raise your kids.
I have to say though, this relationship IF ... (read in full...)
They say nice things but they won't date me
Q. I'm a 19 year old African American in college. I've been single my whole life because no girl will give me a chance. They'd rather date some idiot who'd cheat on them in the next 2 minutes over a guy who would actually care for them. Multiple times ...
A. 30 July 2016: I think it's the "type" of girl you are going for that is the problem, not you.
A girl who goes for the "asshole" or the "bad boys" in not the girls you should go for. They don't want you, because they don't think they deserve you. And I think so... (read in full...)
My mother is abusive and makes things out to be my fault when its actually her!
Q. I am a 22 year old male and I've had problems with my mother ever since I can remember. My mom is a very abusive person who yells and belittles me all the time, takes her anger out on me, etc. and then turns around and says I am the one with the ...
A. 29 July 2016: I'm sorry you grew up with a mother like that. I think your mom have some serious mental health issues and doesn't accept or understand reality as other people see it.
I would suggest that you (if your phone can do it) set a special ringtone... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 29 July 2016: I understand you have to do what you feel is right.
I just don't understand how you can see this guy as the "right" man for you AND your sons.
The fact that he pulled this statement as a ultimatum, he basically called your bluff with the: ... (read in full...)
Could this older man like me?
Q. I'm sort of embarrassed to be asking this, as I normally don't have problems with this sort of issue. I'll give you a rundown of my situation: This man in twenty something years older than me. I am not underage, in my twenties. We work together...
A. 28 July 2016: First off,
Is he married?
If he is, I think you need to take control of your "crush" and let it go. Nothing good (for you) can come of starting something with a married man.
If he is not, is he single? If not? Same as the married advice ap... (read in full...)
My married BF says I worry too much that he is going to be unfaithful to me. Is it all my fault?
Q. Hi. I've been dating a married man for 3 years now. We have incredible sex together and lots of fun. We get along very well and are sexually perfect for each other. I care a lot for him. He cares for me. However, my insecurity issues ...
A. 28 July 2016: I don't think you will ever be able to trust him as much as you would like to, and as much as HE would like you to. Not feeling secure as a mistress I think just comes with the territory. But that territory is a CHOICE.
He HAS proven that he ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is falling apart ever since I lost the baby
Q. Hello all, I am looking for some non judgemental relationship advice. I am 16 my boyfriends 17. We've been together 9 months. 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. It was a total accident I was actually on birth control at the time (before anyone ...
A. 28 July 2016: I DO think you are too young to have a child, but... I also think you how incredible perseverance and maturity you showed when you found out you were pregnant and you didn't just choose to "ignore" the fact.
No, you faced it head on, and GREW wit... (read in full...)
How can I believe there is good in the world?
Q. I can't stop wishing badly on people that have done me wrong - I fee like I'm stuck into waiting for karma to get people back that I'm watching my life waste away. I have been wronged very wrong end by a lover and friends and I've been a pushover or ...
A. 28 July 2016: Life isn't about being rewarded. Being a good person, doing good things is it's own reward. Nice people don't "win" the game of life. Because there IS no winning, really, when it comes to life. Good thing happens to bad people too.
Only 2 things i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend struggles with lusting after other women
Q. My boyfriend struggles a lot with lusting after other women. He sees beautiful women and wants to be with them and gets jealous of their partners if these women are with someone else. He then ends up feeling really terrible about lusting after other ...
A. 28 July 2016: I couldn't date a fella like that long term. Sorry. Yes it's lovely that he is being "honest" but I don't for a moment believe that he isn't partly telling you all this to knock your confidence and I would personally not be able to trust a man like ... (read in full...)
Is his attitude cause for concern?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months or so now and having some doubts about our future together. I currently am stuck renting accommodation with very little money to save each month but my boyfriend owns his own place. We recently had a c...
A. 28 July 2016: I get your concern. 18 months and he isn't interested in living with you, so what kind of future is there?
I DO think at 18 months you kind of know each other well enough to know if you can live with someone or not. And honestly? If you two DID ... (read in full...)
What are some good tips and ideas to help get started on repairing the trust I broke with my husband when I cheated?
Q. I have cheated on my husband and I told him about it, it broke him completely and he is just hanging on by a thread with what little piece of heart he has left. He feels that our whole marriage of 2 years has been a lie because I broke that vow a...
A. 28 July 2016: Marriage counseling/couples counseling or even a "pre-marital counseling" session or 3 might do you both good.
There is no instant fix here.
Instead of asking us, ASK him what HE would want for you, HOW you can show that you IN TIME will be wor... (read in full...)
His ex got engaged just yesterday. Since they were still on social media together, is her engagemet likely to bother him?
Q. Hi Ive been with my boyfriend 2 years, when we first got together, he had only recently broken up with his ex, they were together 10 months. They still have each other added on social media but as far as i know they dont talk. She got enga...
A. 28 July 2016: Ask him?
For some it's a good thing that the ex has moved on and is happy, for others, not so much.... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law is terrible to my wife! Should I say something or stay out of it?
Q. My 73 year old mother-in-law has always been manipulative. Back when I was dating my wife 20 years ago she would guilt trip her into coming to visit for months at a time and bribe her with gifts to stay if necessary. That really hurt our developi...
A. 27 July 2016: I agree with Sage,
IT IS hard to deal with someone with not only some kind of bipolar/manic/depressive disorder but then adding onset dementia? MUCH harder.
SUPPORT your wife the best you can. Remind her that, this is her mother's ILLNESS... (read in full...)
Why do men act the way they do ? Not replying? Changing plans at last minute?
Q. Im hoping a few men will reply to this. I want to know why men do and say things the way they do . If a woman asks a basic question like how you doing fancy meeting up next week ? and the man has seen the message but doesnt reply and its been 5 d...
A. 27 July 2016: So he is a shitty flaky friend....
Not much else to glean from that.... (read in full...)
How can I get my son to sleep through the night?
Q. My son is 8 months old. He wakes up EVERYNIGHT between 2-3am. Usually goes to bed between 8-9pm. .. he never sleeps through the night. Any tricks to get him to sleep through the night?...
A. 27 July 2016: He is probably starting to cut his teeth, so it might not be the right time for him the "learn" to sleep through the night. Double it up with the fact that kids around that age start having separation anxieties ( usually around 9-12 months).
It ca... (read in full...)
Will a man automatically fancy a younger women than once closer to his age?
Q. Hello, I'm 37 years old and I fancy a guy of 45 who I suspect fancies me too. However, there is a pretty girl of 26 that also likes him. Will he automatically fancy her more because she is younger? When I found out she liked him I have been avoiding...
A. 27 July 2016: *chuckle @ Tisha*
I don't think EVERY guy will choose a younger woman over an "older" (in comparison to the younger woman).
I think a guy in his 40's knows that compatibility is WAY more important than age. IF he is looking to start a family, ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he is messing about with his old flings?
Q. Hi everyone, I got back with my ex who promised he would like to have a serious relationship with me and would not mess with other gals again. My rule is he can have his friends but he can't cheat - just be honest and he is free to go. Don...
A. 26 July 2016: What you have to decide if THIS guy is someone you can see yourself with long term, THAT would include whatever friends HE may have.
I think if you have suspicions and doubts ALREADY (or rather again) then maybe HE isn't worth trying a relation... (read in full...)
Why do I always have pain when we have doggy style sex?
Q. hello everyone, please i have a question, I don't know if something is wrong with me each time my husband and i try to do the doggie style I always feel pain in my stomach so we will end up stoping it, and this is the style my husband love most ...
A. 26 July 2016: My guess is it hurts because he is banging on your cervix/top of the uterus.
He is going deeper than what you physically can provide or harder than what's comfortable for you.
Go see your GYN.
And find other LESS painful ways of having s... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my son's safety while at his father's family homes
Q. Im a 26 year old single mother of a 8 month old beautiful baby boy. I have never been married. The father of my child and i have recently broken up which offically ended the relationship. I have a few concerns about coustaty. Mt sons father is c...
A. 26 July 2016: I think you need to talk to your lawyer. If you are already in the process of getting full custody, talk to the lawyer about visitations.
If the brother IS a convicted sex offender/child offender you should have an EASY time of NOT allowing... (read in full...)
I feel guilty that I got involved with him when all he wanted was to sleep with me
Q. Hi, I met a guy over a dating site and it was my first ever date , I always wanted a serious relationship and he said he wished for the same...he was really good to me and it was love at first sight for me, I was really serious about him,,as days ...
A. 26 July 2016: You can't change the past OP.
So feeling guilty, won't help.
What you might want to consider is this. THIS man was NOT a good guy, he pursued you long enough to bed you and then he cut you off. What kind of guy does that? Specially when h... (read in full...)
He wants to benefit from her success
Q. Hi, So my boyfriend has this female friend who is a lot younger than he is and has known her probably a couple of months before he met me.So this woman is trying to establish herself and is faring quite well and my boyfriend told me "I need to hang ...
A. 26 July 2016: I agree dumbest excuse EVER to spend time with another woman. Unless they are on the same team and will be promoted AS A team the excuse is ridiculous. Even if she did get promoted, she probably can "pull" him with her, she would get a promotion ... (read in full...)
Why do men act the way they do ? Not replying? Changing plans at last minute?
Q. Im hoping a few men will reply to this. I want to know why men do and say things the way they do . If a woman asks a basic question like how you doing fancy meeting up next week ? and the man has seen the message but doesnt reply and its been 5 d...
A. 26 July 2016: First, I don't think that is JUST men.
Secondly, If he isn't into you, I think its more common than a guy who IS interested.
Thirdly, if you encounter a guy like that, WHY do you stick around for that? If he can't reply a simple question,... (read in full...)
How do you get your guy to seperate physical affection and sex?
Q. He does do some things seperately like holding hands or hugging. But like tickling or cuddling or play fighting always leads to sex! I really like sex but this makes me feel used, like everything he did was for sex. It'd be nice if he just jerked ...
A. 26 July 2016: Tell him.
Maybe he feels 1+1=2 and you seems to think 1+1=3
As in... tickles and play fight usually leads to sex, so instead of either ASKING if you want sex or trying to seduce you, he tickles you thinking it will lead to sex. You are giving h... (read in full...)
Did it mean anything or was it just the drink?
Q. Hi. I need help to figure out this guy's behavior. We have been friends since a long time now and went out on dates as well. We never had a physical rel but he knew I was into him. He is an introvert and too shy to even ask me out for dates. He ...
A. 26 July 2016: My guess is he is trying the line "I love you" to see if it will make you drop your panties.
So many women go a little ga-ga when they hear "I love you" because WHO doesn't like to be told they are loved?
If you do NOT want some kind of cas... (read in full...)
Why would someone go out of their way to not be searchable on social media and delete their online date profile on the day we were due to meet the first time?
Q. Why would someone go out of their way to not be searchable on social media and delete their online date profile on the day we were due to meet the first time? Wed been chatting for over a week through a site and thought we were getting on ok. Had to ...
A. 26 July 2016: There can be a few options:
Cat fish?
As in it was a semi fake profile. Someone with a partner already checking out and seeing what's "available".
He met someone else.
Or he is hiding his profile from YOU specifically.
With online dat... (read in full...)
Is it OK to steal him from his girl friend?
Q. I fancy my brother's close friend. He's two years older than me but I've known him for years. We've always had a thing many people have said he has a thing for me. He sadly has a gf with a girl I know but I am single now and he's been quite flirty ...
A. 25 July 2016: I fully agree with FA's advice.
To be blunt? No it's NOT OK to chase after a guy who has a GF. If this GF is so demanding and horrible, he can DUMP her. No one is holding a gun to his head telling him he HAS to continue to date her.
And a gu... (read in full...)
Healthy eating is a bone of contention
Q. Hi please advise. My boyfriend is trying to have a healthier lifestyle because he is about 20 pounds overweight so he's trying to eat right, etc. I myself (in my opinion) should probably be around 125 but I' almost 140, so I'm at the upper end of ...
A. 25 July 2016: I think this has less to do with "eating healthy" and more to do with YOU not liking being told what to do, and him not grasping that you ARE content with your current weight.
If you have ever met someone who quit smoking you might understand h... (read in full...)
Does my obliging nature cause women to think I'm too boring a guy, for them?
Q. Am I boring in relationships, I like going out dancing to live bands, taking walks in parks, going shopping,going to movies, holding hands, nice places to go eat, I like cooking, if a woman needs help at her place, I can do a lot when it comes to ...
A. 25 July 2016: I don't think it makes you boring, but is that "gentleman behavior" an act to woo the ladies, or just how you are?
Do you think it comes across as being genuine?
To me (and no, I don't prefer "bad boys" or men who doesn't treat me well) i... (read in full...)
I do love him, but was I right to break up with this man who is childish and one sided in his behaviour towards me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years and he recently broke up with me. He has a total of 6 kids and I have only 1, all of his kids are grown except for 2 whose ages are 16 and 9. He gets them every other weekend, so I thought I would ...
A. 25 July 2016: I think he was looking for a way out and used ANY excuse he could find, using his kids is hard to go against.
Though, I will say this, HE allowed the kids to have stuff in the care that later ? caused ants. And if the car was dirty... Why not just... (read in full...)
I dislike my boyfriend because he's low-income and I have to keep providing for him.
Q. Is it wrong for me to dislike my boyfriend because he is low income? I live with both parents who have good jobs and I get allowance. I should be getting a job at the age of 20 but I am in college. My boyfriend is 23 and in college as well but ...
A. 25 July 2016: OK so YOUR parents provide for YOU and YOUR BF. That should stop. I'm sure your parents are OK with providing for you, their daughter, but for your BF? Sorry, as a parent myself I would HOPE I had raised my kids to understand the value of money a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 10 years didn't bring me back a gift from his Usa vacation. Am I spoiled?
Q. NB Previous question didn't go through I don't think. Boyfriend of ten yes ten years standing has just returned from USA and didn't bring me a single thing back! Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a side of American beef but just a tiny slice of ...
A. 25 July 2016: I think if he in those 10 years have SUCKED at little thoughtful gifts for you, then maybe you are a little unrealistic in expecting him to do it THIS time. I agree with anon male on that.
However, in the future when he travels why not tell him... (read in full...)
Should I text to ask where his head is at as I'm confused or just leave him to it?
Q. Hi aunts. Am after a perspective as to weather I this situation is a waste of time and a dead loss. Been with a man for 18 months. LDR. We have a lot of problems but we have tried to talk them through and find a way forward. Most recently we were...
A. 24 July 2016: How often do you two see each other in person?
I think LDR's (in general) are doomed when after 1-2 years there are NO concrete plans to make it a No Distance Relationship.
... (read in full...)
Has his interest in me lessened? Or has he just become used to dating me?
Q. Hi everyone, Just need some dating advice please. (Backstory) I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months.. Everything was going well, he texted me daily and we go on a date usually every Friday night. So after 2 months we had sex and everything w...
A. 24 July 2016: I think once he had sex with you he figured he "had" you "hooked" and thus doesn't need to put in as much effort.
Sounds like a lazy guy to me. Someone who after ONLY! 2 months take you a bit for granted.
I think the first 2 months he put hi... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: Dear Lord OP!
It went from bad to worse!
So this man whom YOU, out of the goodness of your heart, moved in with you and your boys, thinks that he somehow gets to make all the decision in YOUR house.... because let me guess... HE is male?
W... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: Thanks for the update, OP :)
My guess is (trying to look at it from his viewpoint) is that his daughter have so far been a "guest" in YOUR home, thus not required to do chores. Which I completely disagree with. We stayed with my BIL for 3 months a... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 2 July 2016: I agree with Eddie, he makes some great points.
My guess is his daughter gets away with not doing ANY chores because he wants to be the "fun" parent who doesn't "make" her do chores when she is there whilst expecting your kids to do chores b... (read in full...)
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