My long-lost love has contacted me after 40 years but I'm in a relationship and he's married
Q. A love from 40 years ago contacted me on my birthday via e-mail. We have been sending e mails back and forth for a week. Now I am dying to call him but I am afraid because I am with a relationship. He is married. We went separate ways because ...
A. 22 August 2016: Cut it off. No more communications. Don't live in the past and play with people's feelings and fantasies.
He is married and NOT looking to rekindle the past, he is just unhappy and bored and figured YOU would "entertain" him a bit.
OR are ... (read in full...)
Do I lie to avoid hurting his feelings? I did have a crush on him, but I've fallen for another
Q. i have had a crush on someone for over a year now and i know he likes me to but just as he asks me out i realize i have fallen for someone else i told him to give me time to think about it but i dont want to hurt his feelings by telling him i do...
A. 22 August 2016: No don't lie.
IF you ARE seeing someone else (not just crushing on someone else) then tell him, thanks for the offer to go out, but I am seeing someone else.
If you think you have fallen for someone else... are you doing anything about t... (read in full...)
Am I making this about myself?
Q. Can someone please tell me if I am over reacting and making this about myself? My husband's adult children are always in hard times because they don't have jobs or quit their jobs and one of them just keeps having babies that she can't afford. We ...
A. 22 August 2016: I think your husband is being a brat.
I would suggest that HE budget in "emergency funds" for HIS children out of HIS income AFTER the shared bills/budgeted fun etc. is set aside.
I get that IF you two didn't get together and married till AFT... (read in full...)
I know my ex has a new Gf, so why is he bothering to text me when he's drunk?
Q. why do ex boyfriends send text when drunk? my ex continues to give me false hope with random contact, I know he has a new gf so why the drunk texts?? ...
A. 22 August 2016: Block him? It would make the most sense if you are trying to move on and he keeps wheeling you back in.
You can't really "blame" him for trying, can you?
My guess is he is hoping for a little booty-call on the side here and there. That is w... (read in full...)
Is he moving things along too fast? Is it normal to try to turn a hook-up into a relationship in this way?
Q. I hooked up with this guy one night (no intercourse) and figured I'd never see him again. Through mutual friends, he got ahold of my number and asked me out. I said sure. In the past week, we have seen each other 3 times, although he's ask...
A. 22 August 2016: Yes, it does seem like he is rushing things. Might be because he sees you as someone he can have a future with, he likes your company or... he is a little "desperate" for a instant relationship.
Just SLOW down if you feel it's a bit too much too... (read in full...)
How can I ignore her attention seeking toxic responses and move on?
Q. I am in love with my straight best friend I have been in love with her since i met her...but by then, we were young. She partially reciprocated my love, because i have told her i love her. She however is afraid of really coming out...s...
A. 22 August 2016: So why keep her around? If she plays petty games with you? That doesn't sound like a friend you NEED to keep around in your life or social media.
IF you don't want to unfriend/block her - hide her feeds.... (read in full...)
Is she playing me? Should I send her my love letter to her?
Q. Hi everybody I am a senior in high school and on the third day of school I walked into class and this girl said hi to me and didn't know me and I said hi back. When I walked to the other side of the classroom she asked me to come and sit by her and ...
A. 21 August 2016: No, no no no no do not give her the letter.
Instead GET to know her.
You have been back to school for what? a week or two? It's not love, OK?
It's infatuation and attraction. You really don't know her that well. IF you CAN'T even TALK to h... (read in full...)
Is this marriage worth saving? 11 years together, married eight years
Q. When I met my husband I fell madly in love with him, I was still a Virgin he was my first love. Life was good.....two years later I realized my husband LOVES attention from females, we fought and fought about it so he called me names..... I'm j...
A. 21 August 2016: I think you have EVERY right to not want to stay married to him.
Take the advantage of being married to a military personnel and contact MilitaryOneSource.mil and find yourself a GOOD counselor, NOT to fix the marriage but to give you tool to ... (read in full...)
Was my Bf being insensitive for not texting me all day? Or am I expecting too much ?
Q. I need some objective advice. I am too close to the situation and too emotional I think. My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years. Yesterday, he had family over for the day and did not contact me at all. I texted him at th...
A. 21 August 2016: You know, it might just be because I'm from a generation that DATED/COURTED etc before cell phones were readily available, but I find this such a OTT "problem" to have to NOT talk to a BF for one day. He had family over, THEY were his focus that ONE ... (read in full...)
I feel awkward about my crush. She's 16 and she's the niece of my mother's boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. Hi hopefully someone can offer me advice on an issue that is playing on my mind, I'm a 27 years old and male. So down to the problem, I am starting to become infatuated with my mum's boyfriend's niece. I never really noticed her before but she ...
A. 21 August 2016: Looking "mature" in the face doesn't MAKE her mature.
SHE is a kid, YOU are an adult. So act like the grown up here and knock it off.
A crush is just that a crush, an infatuation nothing more.
Go out with friends and meet people your OWN... (read in full...)
My Bf's cousin died recently, in a car accident. Now he's acting all weird. What did I do wrong?
Q. I have been dating my bf for the past 3 1/2 months and I love him so much and he loves me. but recently he lost his cousin in a car accident. He was acting fine all day yesterday and then my friend called me. He is gay and he lives across the coun...
A. 21 August 2016: His cousin just died and YOUR friend threaten him with death? I can see why your BF have cooled his affections. Seriously.
It's not CUTE for a male friend of yours to do that. And I agree your friend owe him an apology.
Had it been your brothe... (read in full...)
When I was much younger I wrote love letters to a teacher. Yes, inappropriate, at the time. Why didn't the teacher report me at that time?
Q. I use to write love letters to my teacher, I did not know the boundaries of teacher students I obviously knew you can't have a relationship with a teacher but I had no idea you could get into trouble for writing love letters. Until a different ...
A. 21 August 2016: He could have reported it, but the school decided to do nothing OR he could have "archived" them directly in thrash.
Doesn't really matter when it comes down to it. You had a teacher who didn't act on your crush, who didn't take advantage and that... (read in full...)
He treats me with disinterest. How can I get the courage to tell him to ''get lost'' ?
Q. So this is a bit complicated and I will try to keep it short. I used to have a thing for a guy when I was 16. I asked him out when I was 19 but he said no since he was in a relationship(which I was unaware of). Then I decided to move on and ...
A. 21 August 2016: You know, remembering birthdays is not a friendship. It's a habit.
And the way he treats you with such dismissive behavior is NOT a friendship either.
You can't MAKE him want to be a friend.
So blocking him on your phone, FB etc. is totall... (read in full...)
I've tried medication and therapy and yet still I feel alone and miserable. How can I overcome these feelings?
Q. I used to be a go-er. A girl on the move I used to go out and party or be around fake friends 4 out of 7 days a week. I used to be a people pleaser and chase men relentlessly to fill the loneliness. I most recently I got so tired of getting ...
A. 21 August 2016: Therapy and/or meds are not an instant fix. Life doesn't work that way. For some it takes YEARS of therapy to get to the root and then to deal with it.
The reason you feel unfulfilled is because you ARE unfulfilled.
ONLY you can change this.... (read in full...)
I am feeling grief at the loss of this long term relationship. How can I get through this grief?
Q. Dear Cupid. This is the first time I have written on one of these sites but I felt I need some help. I have been married now for around 31 years and whilst we generally get on the sparkle as gone. Sex life is non existant and we have now both...
A. 21 August 2016: You can't be blamed?
And it's not fair on your wife if you walked away?
WHY?
Does your WIFE not deserve to be treated with honesty and respect? Does she DESERVE to be lied to? Cheated on? Does she not deserve to be happy with someone who L... (read in full...)
When my boyfriend doesn't get what he wants, he becomes verbally aggressive. How do I handle this?
Q. Hi all So my boyfriend of 3 years really confuses me and upsets me at sometimes the most smallest things. He's working this Saturday and I am not. After work on Friday he asked " can I take your laptop at wok tomorrow so I can watch the foot...
A. 20 August 2016: Do you think his behavior is OK for a GROWN man? He isn't exactly 5.
YOUR LAPTOP, your choice.
I'm wondering how you handled this in the past, because my guess is , this is pattern for him?
Have you usually given in?
The getting "stroppy... (read in full...)
Guys never hit on me and I think it's because I have a big nose. Should I get a nose job?
Q. I never/barely get hit on by men. I see other women get hit on men frequently, but men do not frequently hit on me. Only homeless men or guys I don't find attractive will call me beautiful out of nowhere. Once in a blue moon, I will catch a guy ...
A. 20 August 2016: It's not your nose that is getting in the way of you meeting a guy.
It's you.
You a think that because men YOU want to hit on you don't, it must be your nose. It must be YOU there is something "wrong" with.
Only thing I can see "wrong" ... (read in full...)
Accidently ccontacted an ex' - now he won't leave me alone
Q. I was bored upon a day, and this boredom spilled over to the next few days. So I checked my contact list on watsapp and began messaging friends I don't talk to anymore, then I messaged one of my ex boyfriends(one who disrespected me and still owes ...
A. 20 August 2016: "Before you judge me, let me say this. I have a boyfriend who I can't stand and I don't go out much "
SO break up with this BF you can't stand!
And BLOCK the ex on whatsapp. It's not like you need HIS permission to block him or not - and aft... (read in full...)
My first love and I have reconnected after 30 years
Q. I linked with my ex over a year ago, my first love. We have know each other for 30 years. I have a family. He is single with no ties. We have been on dates and slept together a few times but kept it light. It was his birthday a few weeks ago...
A. 20 August 2016: There is nothing for you here.
The guy you fell in love with 30 years ago, is not the man you have met up with.
HE let you slip through his fingers 3 times, my guess is because he wasn't as attached. Someone who hasn't REALLY wanted to seriou... (read in full...)
There is somethig fake about my sister's new boyfriend
Q. I find my sister's new bf weird, but I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. Is it the right thing to do? She's almost 40 and is absolutely terrified of loneliness. A part from one year-long relationship she's had a few encounters and m...
A. 20 August 2016: If she ASKS for advice of what you think/feel tell her but do it gently.
You could bring up that moving for love is a great idea when two people KNOW each other and have for a good while I'd say minimum 1 year - if she talks about moving. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's former in laws paint a rosy picture of her abusive ex
Q. Three years ago I met and fell in love with "Kate" she was in a very abusive relationship and my friend and I helped her get out of it. I honesty believe if she hadnt left when she did he would have killed her. Last year he committed suicide while ...
A. 20 August 2016: Honestly? I think it would be best coming from HER, not you. And even then, some people will refuse to "see" the truth because it means THEY would have to take SOME responsibility in the mess.
I would talk to your GF about limiting their contact ... (read in full...)
I'm only turned on by blowjobs!
Q. Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...
A. 19 August 2016: I can't say what's normal, but I can tell you that you will end up not getting squat when you GIVE squat.
It's utterly selfish to think ANY woman would be content with JUST giving head and receiving nothing in return sexually.
What exactly ... (read in full...)
Can family history spoil my recruitment chance?
Q. I don't know if a question like this is allowed here, Ever since I was young I have wanted a career in the police force, I applied and then they gave me an interview, I had to answer scenario questions and my skills etc, I have recently been ...
A. 19 August 2016: No one is perfect. No one comes from a perfect family.
My advice? DO your best, BE your best. And always BE honest.
I think in fact that you PERSONAL experience seeing the action (your dad getting drunk and disorderly) and the consequence (spe... (read in full...)
Why do his friends and relatives communicate with on Social Media in the way they do?
Q. I have a silly question - first and foremost I need to clarify that I'm not hung on social media, just I'm curious and would like to see aunties and uncles on dear cupid view this situation. I've been with my BF for 3 years and have become frie...
A. 19 August 2016: They might not post pictures of you to respect YOUR privacy in the sense that SOME people don't like their picture or that of their children to be plastered all over FB.
So it might be out of polite respect. Though they could always ASK you if i... (read in full...)
Wife's vagina passes air during and after sex. Could this mean she is sleeping with someone else?
Q. My wife fart before I insert my penis that was for the first time after that it continues while having sex or afteer sex is she having an affair? when I tried to insert my penis her vagina fart after that it continues while after having sex or after...
A. 18 August 2016: Good grief!! *facepalm*
IGNORANCE is not bliss, mister... it's just IGNORANCE.
Are you that distrustful of your wife? Are you that insecure?
The REASON it sounds like she is "passing air" with her vagina is because YOU push in air into her... (read in full...)
FWB where I developed feelings for her. She seemed to wantt more too. Now she denies ever feeling that?
Q. So I'm looking for some feedback. I'm a 32 year old male. I've got a fwb that has been going on for quite some time now. Thing is, I think I'd somewhat developed feelings for her. The reason I'd developed some feelings is because of all of the ...
A. 18 August 2016: Don't have FWB's if you want or would like more?
An FWB is perhaps useful when two FRIENDS are having a period of "drought". But when it goes on and on and on - one of two things happen, one of the parties meet someone special or.. one of the two ... (read in full...)
Am I despicable for wanting to change my name? How to handle my family's potential response?
Q. I have a dilema. I feel like I have to choose between hurting my family and being miserable for the rest of my life. That's what it comes down to. I feel like I was born with the wrong name. There are people who are born the wrong gender, an...
A. 18 August 2016: Changing your name is not going to change you. Just saying.
But why not ADD another name?
Females in my family had 3 Christian names and 1 surname (family name) up until my mom/aunt and then me and my brother as well, we only had 2 Christian ... (read in full...)
How to give a better second impression? We're still friends but first impression wasn't the best
Q. I went on a date with a friend we just thought we would see how it would go . I was more quiet and behaved i didnt want to give a bad impression . The guy had a little too much to drink and got tired easy. We're still good friends but he hint...
A. 18 August 2016: Maybe he just don't see you and him as a good fit? You called him a friend, so I would presume he knows you better than JUST that first date.
I don't think he is as interested as you are in going further.
Being quiet and well behaved in publi... (read in full...)
How can I control my feelings about my Bf masturbating, alone, when I'm not there?
Q. Somebody please tell me what is wrong with me. I cannot cope with my bf masturbating when I'm not here. I am paranoid about it. We only have sexual encounters once a week as it is. Aside from everything else when I know he's done it I get so upse...
A. 18 August 2016: ACCEPT -His dick, he can do what he wants with it (and his hand) when you are not home. It's not like he is cheating on your with another person, he is SELF-PLEASING while you are not there.
Just like YOU can masturbate whenever you feel lik... (read in full...)
She says my gift of flowers was inappropriate. What does she mean by this?
Q. I am a lesbian and I recently gave flowers to a girl. I haven't seen her since March and is now August so it's been a few months since I saw her last. When I gave her the flowers she said that I've been acting inappropriate and that the flowers ...
A. 18 August 2016: Flowers are usually given when people are either GOOD friends, family or in a serious relationship as PART of a courtship.
Flowers are USUALLY seen as a romantic gesture.
If you gave her flowers because you saw them, they were gorgeous and you... (read in full...)
How to handle husband who ignores me to chat up other females
Q. My husband got this bad habit even before we were married. He's playful around women especially the ones he knew. Whenever he saw any female he knew he talked with them making them laugh he completely forgot I'm standing next to him. One time I...
A. 18 August 2016: I have to agree with YouWish
If it is in social setting that he mingles with family and friends I don't quite see the big deal, though "aggressively" teasing/chatting up a teenager who probably didn't want his attentions is creepy.
I'm NOT... (read in full...)
Met him on a dating app, he's perfect but I'm too self-conscious to meet him!
Q. Long story so I'll try to shorten it as much as possible. So I matched with this guy on tinder 10 months ago. We messaged for 18 hours non stop, slept for 3 then started again. It was an incredible instant connection. If I could describe my perf...
A. 18 August 2016: I think you need to come clean or he will at some point presume that you cat-fished him, which... in a way you did. You went on Tindr to "have a stir with random people" - which to me means you were hoping to play games with people who were looking ... (read in full...)
I can't think of any solutions to get him to move out. Help?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend moved in with me 8 months ago as he was retrenched. Fortunately he now has a new job but the spell of unemployment hit him hard financially and he is still struggling to make ends meet. He also has a child with ex girlfriend. Our ...
A. 17 August 2016: I'm sorry he has nowhere else to go, but.. you two are done. So he needs to get his shit and get out.
You already gave him 30 days.
You can choose to give him another 2 weeks.. or... just pack his stuff and change the locks.
And next time..... (read in full...)
He's seeing someone else. Will our friendship deteriorate if I tell him I'm seriously crushing for him? What can I do?
Q. I've got a quick dilemma. Basically I think I am in love with my guy best friend. We've been best buddies for a while and hit it off straight away. We talk to each other about EVERYTHING. He's basically everything I look for in a partner but we'v...
A. 17 August 2016: I wouldn't tell him. For the simple fact that the feelings are NOT mutual and HE has someone else now.
IT put too much pressure on a friendship to put that out there now. However, he isn't really a friend no longer as you have romantic feelings... (read in full...)
Why did my Bf keep on cheating after all I did for him? Should I want him back after what he's done?
Q. why my bf lied to me always? there cupid,i need ur advice about my bf? I meet my bf on FB on net we get close and he messaged me everyday until he express his feelings one day. we keep talk and txt until we spent together we lived together....
A. 17 August 2016: Stop being his doormat, honey.
This isn't love. This is him using you, because he knows you will fall in line EVERY time and forgive him.
Why do this to yourself? Why settle for a guy who doesn't treat you right?
If I were you I'd BLOCK him... (read in full...)
What is he trying to say? Says he has to ''stay away'' from me. He called me ''the devil''. Asked me if I still love him.
Q. my ex stopped by to see me before i left for a 6 month business trip, he's been very distant from me for the past month and a half. he gives me a hug and holds me tight, he asked me if i missed him and i said no, then we started kissing and he told ...
A. 17 August 2016: I have to agree with SVC and Denizen,
What is so hard to understand? He used the word love, to get into your panties.
Saying he can't be around you was to be you feel like you are SO desirable he can't control himself.. as in, not his fault yo... (read in full...)
After this can I trust my friend?
Q. Dear Aunts I have something on my mind that is disturbing me. Saturday night, me and two of my friends got drunk for the first time then suddenly we started talking too much. Pouring to each other our feelings towards our boyfriends. One ...
A. 16 August 2016: 1. I wouldn't trust her blindly.
2. being drunk doesn't mean yo can't control what you say, but people sometimes lose their normal "filter". Which means she DOES have a bit of a crush on your BF. Should yo worry about her? Probably not. My guess... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 16 August 2016: Good for you!
Finding your "inner" strength to do hard things (like asking him to leave) helps you grow.
While you might feel a little euphoric, you might feel the loss of having him around in a few weeks/months - just remember how you FEEL now... (read in full...)
Could my fears be true?
Q. Hey there just like help and some advice. My partner works at a pub in town and she could work up to 3 nights a week. We do have 4 kids together too. Well I maybe getting a bit paranoid but it’s starting to hurt my feelings and it’s happened 3 t...
A. 16 August 2016:
No, I don't think it's reasonable for you to dictate how she should do her job. I have worked as a bartender and YES, female bartenders (and male) DO get hit on (some more than others) but that doesn't mean bartenders are more likely to cheat or... (read in full...)
Changes are making me feel super sexy
Q. Here is my question and issue. Why now? I just turned 40 this year and it's like my sex drive is over the top. Is this normal? I a woman who really didn't care about sex can't seem to get enough. I'm noticing different changes in my body but didn't ...
A. 16 August 2016: I think it's normal to a point. Women peak much much later than men. I would say from a biological standpoint... your body is trying to wring out any and all potential for an offspring and believe it or not... ENJOY sex.
While the most fertile ... (read in full...)
Sure ''anything'' could happen. But is he being genuine ? Are his words genuine? Or is he giving me false hope?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months ago when he told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. Things are amicable so we're remaining friends. However, whenever i bring up my feelings for him and the relationship, he tells me "anything can ha...
A. 16 August 2016: I agree with both aunties,
He is stringing you along in case nothing "better" comes around or IF he gets lonely.
BUT he IS over you as a romantic interest. YOU need to accept that and then modify the contact you have with him now.
OK, so y... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 10 August 2016: Honey, STICK with the notion that you want him out of your life, your house, your heart and your head. IT makes sense. LETTING him take advantage of you... DOESN'T.
Tell him to get the F out of your house. Give him 24 hours. Change the lock. Ma... (read in full...)
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