How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 30 July 2016: Good luck OP.
I hope HE is worth all that effort you are going through, and if not... you will know in the future that setting boundaries is OK and that YOU don't "need" a man to raise your kids.
I have to say though, this relationship IF ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 29 July 2016: I understand you have to do what you feel is right.
I just don't understand how you can see this guy as the "right" man for you AND your sons.
The fact that he pulled this statement as a ultimatum, he basically called your bluff with the: ... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 10 July 2016: So stop playing games and act like an adult in the work place?... (read in full...)
How long do I give him to decide?
Q. Hi , I decided to bite the bullet and ask my friend out , there is some chemistry between us and he has told me he does like me in that way . he said he would think about it . How long would you give someone to think ? i dont expect him to get back ...
A. 4 July 2016: Yep, 3rd vote for move on with life.
He now knows you are interested in more and he has done nothing to further that... I would read it as he like you a lot, but... isn't sure about dating you.
And I agree, if he has to "think" about he might j... (read in full...)
How can I take a stand on my controlling sister? She is making life difficult.
Q. My sister and I are very close, she's always had insecurities but her current boyfriend seems to be making them worse, not by abuse at all, but lack of attention and assurance. He suffers from anxiety which leads him to be distant with no sex drive ...
A. 4 July 2016: How do you stop it?
By stop catering to her crazy whims. You are in fact reinforcing them by enabling her to emotionally blackmail you. If she doesn't want you post pictures of yourself, you can tell her to hide your photos or YOU can hide the... (read in full...)
Now separated and some of the men I meet are a disappointment. Why are they so blunt about asking for sex when they don't know me?
Q. I was married for 20 years and now dating again as I separated from my husband. Nothing tragic, just grew apart though still friends and civil with each other. One daughter, away in college who is really cool with the situation . Men I meet: ...
A. 4 July 2016: Honestly? I'd report EVERY single Uber driver who does this. Car services should be a SAFE place for a woman to be going home or to events, not for getting hit on. That is crazy!
As for meeting only crappy guys... well, I do think once you pass... (read in full...)
False rumor. Then cheating.I forgave him. Am I a mug? Have I done the right thing?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 16 months now. Then this weekend a rumour spread about me and another guy which wasn't true, I told my boyfriend about said rumour before it got to him by other means and he told me he believed me. He de...
A. 4 July 2016: Sorry OP, you ARE a mug.
I'd dump him. YOU did the right thing and told your BF about the rumor (though... why and how did that rumor get started in the first place?) but HE chose to LISTEN to the other girl, a TOTAL stranger and then sleep wi... (read in full...)
I'm just confused? Is he either low key in love with me or obsessed or just crazy? What to do?
Q. I don't want to make this too long. Basically, I dated this dude, it was long distance. Blah blah. Let's call him “C” . C” and I dated from like, November 2014 till March 2015. We were basically the perfect couple and I couldn't go a minute, let...
A. 4 July 2016: I agree with Cindy,
What you need is a dose of common sense, OP
He DID dump you in March because he didn't want to juggle DATING 2 girls at the same time, HE picked R. But he also didn't want YOU to move on with YOUR life, so he came up with ... (read in full...)
Is this normal in a good relationship? Or am I being submissive towards him?
Q. Dear Cupid I have a history of being in abusive relationship. So I wouldn't know a anything about being in a normal relationship. Currently in dating a good person for about 4 months. We have good sexual chemistry and we talk, he doesn't push me ...
A. 4 July 2016: I think it's "normal" that grown up have various project they WANT/NEED to work on, but if it comes down to ALWAYS picking the project over spending time with you... it's a bit iffy. He should want to balance both, so should you.
I do think it'... (read in full...)
My dad left our family for his mistress. Why is he being aggressive?
Q. He had an affair his tenant and now has left us for her and her family. Whenever he calls now he's really aggressive and angry for no reason at all, why? He hasn't contacted me or my brother for 13 weeks now. When he comes to our house he starts ...
A. 3 July 2016: Sorry OP,
Life is rarely one size fits all. This mid-life crisis of your dads will continue for as LONG as HE "lets" it, and your mom, yours and your brother's involvement for as long as you enable him to cause drama with you.
If none of yo... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex but she took emergency contraception afterward. Should I still be worried about the possibility of pregnancy?
Q. The other day, my girlfriend and I made a big mistake in having unprotected sex. I don't really know how or why either of us let that happen and I most certainly won't be doing that again! Anyway, I didn't cum inside her and had urinated throughout ...
A. 3 July 2016: So stick with using condoms too for now.
Better safe than parents right now... right?... (read in full...)
Could this man I've been chatting to for 2 weeks be telling the truth? Or is he lying to me about his dream? Why tell me?
Q. Hello iam chatting with a man of 57 years old, he actually lives in the same city, and we are planning to meet in a few days. We chat everyday, and exchange photos. Its been 2 weeks since we started chatting online. One day he told me that he dream...
A. 3 July 2016: "But at the same time he said in his world he does not believe in the stupid schedules of subculture approach like let's pretend we are this and soon we will have nothing to do with it."
He doesn't want to make you HIS GF or have a steady relation... (read in full...)
I'm duty bound to my long term partner afflicted with illness. How should I handle the attraction between me and my younger boss?
Q. I'm 42,young looking and successful professional. I've been with my partner for ten years. We've been through a lot. Nine years ago, he got sick. Weve been dealing with his illness and when things were starting to look normal, it strikes again, d...
A. 3 July 2016: First off, don't cheat. Decide in your HEART if your partner is you partner for life OR not. And if he is.. are you really ready to toss in the towel on intimacy for the REST of your life? How are you BOUND to him that YOUR life is almost ... (read in full...)
He is staying overnight at the home of his ex, for family reasons. Is this appropriate? Do I have a right to be concerned?
Q. Hi. Quick question. Been with my boyfriend over a year. LDR and although I've met his kids, I haven't met the mother of them yet, just seen in passing as he drops off the children. We see each other most weekends. A few days back he stayed at h...
A. 3 July 2016: I think his excuse is ridiculous.
He wants to have a drink at an event and because of that... he has to stay overnight at his ex's house.. seriously?
How about he just doesn't drink and drive that hour home? I mean that is what most people... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 3 July 2016: You can't "make" him do anything he doesn't want to do including... treating you like a sexy afterthought.
She doesn't control him any more than your husband controls you - I BET you on that.
He will continue to string you along for as lon... (read in full...)
Do I call it quits or keep trying?
Q. This seems to be one of my longer stories so here it goes. I met this girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit before I got her number. We would text back and forth, we wanted to meet but I was very busy with school while she was as busy with work. But ...
A. 3 July 2016: To be honest OP?
I'd call it quits. Why?
TBH... it smells like there is some "cat-fishing" going on.
She has WAY too much on her plate to be dating. She have run into a series of "unfortunate" events dealing with her health and those WIL... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: Dear Lord OP!
It went from bad to worse!
So this man whom YOU, out of the goodness of your heart, moved in with you and your boys, thinks that he somehow gets to make all the decision in YOUR house.... because let me guess... HE is male?
W... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 3 July 2016: Ask her out and you will know?
And you are right it's not the kind of behavior for the work-place.
But if you want to find out what's up - ask her out. IF you want to date her.
IF not, maybe dial it down, and be professional at work. ... (read in full...)
Could this man I've been chatting to for 2 weeks be telling the truth? Or is he lying to me about his dream? Why tell me?
Q. Hello iam chatting with a man of 57 years old, he actually lives in the same city, and we are planning to meet in a few days. We chat everyday, and exchange photos. Its been 2 weeks since we started chatting online. One day he told me that he dream...
A. 3 July 2016: "So my question is could this dream be true or his lying, what does this dream indicate?"
Sure he could have been dreaming about you, why not?
And the dream probably means he is horny and hope to get in your pants asap.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ghosted without any warning. How do I let go?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months ghosted a month ago. Everything was going very well until the last two weeks it all came to a screeching halt. He took longer and longer to reply and eventually not at all. I saw he logged back onto his online dating s...
A. 3 July 2016: Why would you need to "visit" him? He obviously is done with the relationship and wants nothing further to do with you. Yes, that may sting, but instead of showing up at his work-place or stalk him where he lives I think you need to accept that it ... (read in full...)
He wants to take joint credit, yet he does not help me run the online business in any way. Advice please on how to handle this?
Q. MY husband and I run own online business. I started my business almost 2 years ago in total when I add up the time it took me to build it to what it is today. Its all online so i work from home. My husband quit work about 6 months ago to jo...
A. 3 July 2016: Why not sit him down and tell him these things need done, if you want to be an active part of the company it would be GREAT for you to pitch in with XYZ not just suggestions. (of course you may want to worded it differently).
Wishing he would do... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: Thanks for the update, OP :)
My guess is (trying to look at it from his viewpoint) is that his daughter have so far been a "guest" in YOUR home, thus not required to do chores. Which I completely disagree with. We stayed with my BIL for 3 months a... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex but she took emergency contraception afterward. Should I still be worried about the possibility of pregnancy?
Q. The other day, my girlfriend and I made a big mistake in having unprotected sex. I don't really know how or why either of us let that happen and I most certainly won't be doing that again! Anyway, I didn't cum inside her and had urinated throughout ...
A. 3 July 2016: I will quote WebMD:
"If Plan B One-Step is taken as directed after unprotected sex, it will decrease the chances of a pregnancy occurring. About 7 out of every 8 women who would have gotten pregnant do not become pregnant. However, research... (read in full...)
She's good at planning other things but all our dates have been spur of the moment. How do I ask for plans in advance without sounding heavy?
Q. Right, I've been dating a girl for a few weeks now, we really get on, have a lot of similar interests, and share the same sense of humour, I really like the girl to be honest. The thing is, she seems to be good at planning work, gigs, etc in her...
A. 3 July 2016: I think you said it well yourself OP,
I'd tell her... "I like being spontaneous but would also like to balance it out with plans."
So how about we plan a couple of dates for this and/or next week?
How can she think that is "sounding heavy"... (read in full...)
My dad left our family for his mistress. Why is he being aggressive?
Q. He had an affair his tenant and now has left us for her and her family. Whenever he calls now he's really aggressive and angry for no reason at all, why? He hasn't contacted me or my brother for 13 weeks now. When he comes to our house he starts ...
A. 2 July 2016: I agree with WiseOwlE
I think he has realized just how royally he screwed up. However, if he shows up and makes drama, don't open the door, tell your mom to call the police. (and chance the locks if he still has a key).
He is miserable and ap... (read in full...)
Am I insecure that I can't stop worrying that my Bf could be flirting at work with his female colleagues?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, living together for almost 2. Recently he got a new office job, and told me he is one of only 3 guys that work there... and there's around 20 women. Of course he has worked with women before, but never al...
A. 2 July 2016: I think office and work-place banter is fine and pretty innocent for the most part.
I think people who have a "certain" standard, boundaries are not going to cross the line from friendly banter to inappropriate flirting.
And lastly, it's a w... (read in full...)
My shyness means I have no dating options, help me out!
Q. I am very very shy and at 25 I have never been in a relationship or anything of the sort. Sometime back a lady and I became friends from hi to kinda chat buddies. In all honesty she says she loves me. I however don't think I can ever get attracted ...
A. 2 July 2016: Don't string her along if she "loves" you and you don't feel the same. Don't USE her because she seems like the ONLY available option right now.
You NEED to focus on you and your social skills. Being shy is an excuse that will hinder you more tha... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex boyfriend ? He still has his girlfriend and I broke up with my boyfriend, but he doesn't know that
Q. Hey aunts! I need advice So I have an ex boyfriend who broke my heart. The relationship was amazing but due to him losing his job, he had to move right away. He said he didn't want to lose me and how he would always want to be with me but we...
A. 2 July 2016: I wouldn't met up, because I think it would be harder on you than him. He already tried to cross the line with you once, and I think he might again if you met in person, mostly because he thinks there are still feelings from your end.
And the seco... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 23 year old guy not to want to talk or think about the future?
Q. Is it normal for a 23 year old guy not to want to talk or think about the future? I've dated my boyfriend for 5 years and today I asked him where he saw himself in 5 years. He described all his ambitions and goals but only added afterwards that he ...
A. 2 July 2016: I think it's normal for a 23 year old (either gender really) to not really know what they want relationship-wise... HOWEVER, after 5 years together you KNOW whether it's a person you can see yourself with long term, that can be marriage etc.
... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding and demonstrating a "princess attitude" for expecting a Lil common courtesy?
Q. I am 36 years old not much experienced in dating. If a guy is supposed to pick you up at 2.00 to 3.00 and until 1 pm didn't tell you of any change of plans. When you message him at 2.15 informs you that he won't be able to make it. Is it commo...
A. 2 July 2016: You beau is playing mind-games.
He is trying to make you bend over backwards because you know there is "competition" with his ex. So WHEN you point out something (like him not picking you as planned) he throws HER in your face... Low blow if you a... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 2 July 2016: I agree with Eddie, he makes some great points.
My guess is his daughter gets away with not doing ANY chores because he wants to be the "fun" parent who doesn't "make" her do chores when she is there whilst expecting your kids to do chores b... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 2 July 2016: Good luck OP.
One word extra of advice? Don't jump into NSA just yet. TAKE some time to being you, to healing and moving forward. USING another woman for sex is going to fix how you feel. Just saying.
Rather FOCUS on friends, family, hobbies ... (read in full...)
Can you be over friendly with a work colleague?
Q. Can you be over friendly with a work colleague? After kissing her on her neck/shoulder, she came back with kisses on the cheek. When asked what she was doing, she blow a kiss back. Calls me stupid names like baby boy, lover, - makes stupid ...
A. 1 July 2016: Sounds like a really inappropriate work environment. Who goes around kissing co-workers (regardless of where) ? Seriously?
Sounds more like a 5th grade class room than a work place and honestly... if I was your boss or co-worker I'd suggest ... (read in full...)
Is this family weird?
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and he lives with his parents and brother. His brother is 17. His Dad is away on business a lot and so his Mum spends time on her own. My boyfriend told me yesterday that his brother slept in the same bed as his Mum ...
A. 1 July 2016: Different folks, different strokes.
I have a friend who once dated a guy who's whole family were all nudists, grandparents AND the parents.. I shudder to think of family reunions...
A 17 year old sleeping in his mom's bed while dad is away I fi... (read in full...)
She's moved on, so should I, but how?
Q. I miss my ex girlfriend, but I don't want her back. But I do. It's odd. Hense my screen name, I feel like I am going insane. We met in church in early 2014. Became best friends. Started dating by Valentine's Day 2015. And honestly for the first li...
A. 1 July 2016: So try a new church first. If being around her is not helping you heal, avoid places you spend with her, that might include the church. Spend time with people who are a positive influence on you and your life and accept that you CAN love someone and ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue things further with him?
Q. I have been interested in guy who works the next building from mine.He's always friendly and was giving off subtle signs of interest. I finally gave him my number and told him to call/text sometime.He said sure.Then I ran into him the next day and ...
A. 30 June 2016: OP you gave him your number. The balls was in his court and he dropped it, never picked it back up.
He COULD have asked you for the number again when he told you that he not only lost your number but broke his phone, but he CHOSE not to.
H... (read in full...)
Should I pursue things further with him?
Q. I have been interested in guy who works the next building from mine.He's always friendly and was giving off subtle signs of interest. I finally gave him my number and told him to call/text sometime.He said sure.Then I ran into him the next day and ...
A. 30 June 2016: No, don't "confess" anything.
He "lost" your number and hasn't asked for it again, I'd take that as a "not really interested".
He knows he can JUST ask you for your number. He knows where you work..
And you say you really like him, but you... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be feeling as I do? And despite years together, I am always anxious around my husband
Q. I am in my 40s and am married to a very good man. Kids are grown and out of the house. My husband was away for a month, as his parents recently passed away within 3 months of each other, and he closed business for a month to spend time with his sist...
A. 30 June 2016: Can you guy afford hiring someone to be his PA (personal assistant) so you can stop having THAT responsibility too?
And honestly TELL him when he gets home, honey... I have to be honest with you, cooking EVERY night feels like a chore and I th... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married man after my friend at work. Is this now a competition?
Q. There's a guy at work who is jealous I'm friends with this female. The problem is he's very full of himself and tries to ruin moments I have with her, when I talk to her. To my horror, I found out he is friends with her on facebook today, I don't kn...
A. 30 June 2016: Should you tell him to back off? No. That would be HER job, it's HER Facebook and you are NOT the Facebook police.
What you CAN do is hide his feeds/comments so you can't see what HE posts or just ignore them.
The whole notion that you have AN... (read in full...)
What are we ? Last night he told me "you're not my girlfriend".
Q. I'm having the most troubling time. I'll start explaining from the beginning. (lets call him J) I met J my first year of college. At the time we both had someone we were dating, so we never bothered getting close or anything. maybe 2 months p...
A. 29 June 2016: Honey, you have just learned a tough lesson. Having sex with a guy doesn't equal being in a relationship.
What you "have" right now with this one is FWB, and HE wants nothing more - the "excuse" he used was he doesn't want to change things b... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be feeling as I do? And despite years together, I am always anxious around my husband
Q. I am in my 40s and am married to a very good man. Kids are grown and out of the house. My husband was away for a month, as his parents recently passed away within 3 months of each other, and he closed business for a month to spend time with his sist...
A. 29 June 2016: Don't be sad, I think it's actually pretty normal how you feel. Being able to sit on the couch and cry and laugh to Jane Austen movies, read a good book till 3 am and have a glass of wine with NO ONE commenting or suggesting you DO something or HELP ... (read in full...)
He's giving me the silent treatment right now, Will he return to me? I know he's abusive but I want him back
Q. I recently learned that the guy im dating is a narcissist. We've been through at least 3 cycles of devalue/discard and a recent cycle of re-idealization. He's giving me the silent treatment right now, will he ever return my calls or come ar...
A. 29 June 2016: I'm sure he will contact you when he feels like controlling, manipulating and hurting you again - you said you guys have already been through 3 cycles like this, so why not a 4th?
However, I think the whole "I need to detach slowly" is BS. That... (read in full...)
Why do some people not say hello? Especially at work?
Q. Why do some people not say hi back, especially in work or social situation? I was told once to always say hi as i walk into work or in a social situation and im introverted, saying hi is hard but i do! So why do colleagues and some others igno...
A. 29 June 2016: I have lived in several countries and visited a bunch more, and some of it is cultural, some is about manner and some are just routines that have worked their way into a work environment.
Either stick to being you. Do what you feel is right FO... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has been speaking to his ex, what do I do?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years with a brief break in the middle. I have just discovered that he has been texting/sexting his ex from around 5-6 years ago, possibly his first official relationship. From the beginning, we have b...
A. 29 June 2016: Aww, OP
You really need to have a little reality check here. His excuse is bogus. You don't sext someone to find closure, come on - don't be so desperate to have a relationship that you are willing to let this (or any other guy) take a dump all... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 27 June 2016: I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your "wife" is full of shit.
He isn't "just" a friend. She hasn't stopped overnight (1 day) to have feeling for him and wanting him. She is now deleting messages and being upset with you for "keeping... (read in full...)
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