What would you do or say to a compulsive liar?
Q. I appear to have a lot of drama in my life at present. I've noticed a large chunk of it has come from a friend of mine who is a compulsive liar. So heres a list of the lies she's told me over the past couple of months; her mums got breast cancer, ...
A. 14 July 2016: I'm with Auntie BimBim
Tell her straight up, I can't be friends anymore when you spread malicious lies about me. (the club thing) After that? Id just block her and delete her.
I think it's really impossible to be friends with someone who lies... (read in full...)
This guy is still texting her. What do I do now? Valuable suggestions would be appreciated.
Q. I have a gf of 4 years in a long distance committed relationship. i couldnt visit her for a year due to some personal and visa problems which she knows clearly, but we skype daily for hours. Recently i found out she had been cheating on me with her...
A. 14 July 2016: You need to wake up and focus your anger in the right direction. The DUDE didn't make her DO anything SHE didn't want. SHE, your GF, made the CHOICE to cheat. ShE made the choice to USE this guy.
While she might have felt lonely etc. it's not an e... (read in full...)
Can you advise me on how to get over him?
Q. How do I get over someone? My ex broke up with my over 3 months ago now and it gets easier sometimes but then at others it feels again as bad as when it happened. I have wrote on here before about this situation but this time I just want to get over ...
A. 14 July 2016: BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK
IF he can still contact you, he can still "mess" with your healing process and he isn't calling you because he wants you back, he just wants to USE you knowing that you are more likely willing to see him again in hopes that he ... (read in full...)
Ending friendships when the friendship is going no where. Does this happen to others? Is this normal?
Q. Would it be weird if a 20 year old starts feeling the need to end most of her friendships? I feel like i wont achieve anything big with the friends that i have now. I would like to know if there is any of you who ever felt this way and how did ...
A. 14 July 2016: EDIT:
more likely YOUR are.
SHOULD have been:
more likely YOU are.... (read in full...)
Ending friendships when the friendship is going no where. Does this happen to others? Is this normal?
Q. Would it be weird if a 20 year old starts feeling the need to end most of her friendships? I feel like i wont achieve anything big with the friends that i have now. I would like to know if there is any of you who ever felt this way and how did ...
A. 14 July 2016: "I feel like i wont achieve anything big with the friends that i have now."
I somehow doubt your friends are not the ones holding you back from achieving anything, more likely YOUR are.
However, some friends we outgrow, some outgrow us, oth... (read in full...)
My life's okay, it just all seemed to fall into place.
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to ask whether there's other people out there in a similar situation to me. Basically, I'm 25 years old, I still live at home with my mum and brother, I'm single (not speaking to anyone serious either) no savings, I h...
A. 14 July 2016: All of a sudden you will find that you have passed 30 and still live at home, still haven't gotten any saving and still blowing money on "partying and holidays" and you might start to think what you have missed out on those 5 years, where you COULD ... (read in full...)
13 years old. Some of our friends have done more than we have ever tried. How should I react if he asks to to do more with him as far as touching?
Q. Errh', okay - so I'm fairly young, just turned 13 a few days ago. I have a very serious relationship with a boy, who is about a year and a few months older than me. (I'm off to gr. 8, and he's off to gr. 9.) It's extremely obvious that he absolute...
A. 14 July 2016: Having boundaries is good, as LONG as you can stick to them. Even if he REALLY REALLY like you it doesn't mean you have to do something you aren't ready for. You just have to tell him you aren't ready.
Tell him your limits and hopefully he will ... (read in full...)
Help. If we have to make a decision to visit him or not, I am not sure about what to do. Any advice would help please?
Q. A couple of years ago my husband and I moved to a new building where we became friends with one of the neighbors. He's in his 50's, keeps much of the time for himself but is really kind, respectful and generous. He avoids people (he doesn't ...
A. 14 July 2016: Maybe suggest that you can take you mom so SHE can visit, tell him if he rather not YOU TWO come, you can bring her and take her home.
If he doesn't want that either, I'd respect his wishes.
Could ask his mom if there are things he really... (read in full...)
I feel like he doesn't even like me anymore so why does he want to marry me? And shouldn't he be reassuring me?
Q. So I've been with my bf for 8months now and we're already planning our wedding! Yes is too early I know:(. So we went to choose our rings and I chose one for him cause he couldn't choose a nice one. He told my mum I chose mine but I chose hi...
A. 13 July 2016: Put the marriage on the back-burner for now.
There is NO reason to rush into something as SERIOUS marriage right now, is there?
To quote you: " he says he's not happy." THAT is NO way to start a marriage, no matter how many plans you have m... (read in full...)
I feel lost and low, and worry about everything.
Q. I'm currently in a strange place. I've had a history of depression, anxiety, eating disorders etc and I've overcome these over the passed few years and have felt better than ever really making something of my life. I have a good job whilst ...
A. 13 July 2016: Maybe you have to realize that you aren't really ready for a relationship right now? That your focus NEEDS to be on you and your mental health?
If dating a guy makes your anxieties sky rocket, it's not a good thing.
Thinking that he will che... (read in full...)
I can't put up with her issues any longer
Q. I have know my best friend for 11 years we are family, ever since she was diagnosed with depression she lies to me about everything, who she's with, where's she going. I can't trust her anymore, it makes me really upset because all I want to do is ...
A. 13 July 2016: Pretty much agree with everything WiseOwlE said.
Being best friend or even just friend doesn't mean you have to watch over her, no matter how many dumb things she does. Her life, HER choices.
Pushing people away and self-destructive... (read in full...)
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. How do I walk away from him?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. We have known each other for 40 years. We were together 38 years ago went our own ways and ran into each other for lunch and the rest is history. We love each other very much but I can't ...
A. 12 July 2016: I would start by telling him, and then I would block him.
I think the LESS power you give him to "control" the outcome and YOUR future, the better.
But then again I am a fan of "cold turkey" and "ripping of a band-aid in one go". I think it'... (read in full...)
O reply from potential date with friend do I block them
Q. Hi , i recently asked on here for advice about asking a friend on a date he said he would think about it and the advice was to let him have 3-4 days to get back to me . well its been 8 days he hasnt made any effort to contact me at all , i have ...
A. 12 July 2016: I still say TAKE the high-road and be thankful that you actually dodged a bullet, but showing him (especially) that you are NOT one bit phased with his lack of interest (even if you are and that is OK) - you just taper off the communication and ... (read in full...)
Guy I'm dating is leaving for an internship, Can you please help me make sense of what is happening?
Q. I'm dating a guy I feel very comfortable with, we both open up a lot and there is a lot of safety, good feels, and emotional connection. However, we both know its short-lived. He's leaving for a great internship and may not move back after his inte...
A. 12 July 2016: I agree, there are no mixed signals here.
I think if he had cared less, you would have seen no reaction. The guy cares for you and he knows you care for him. So yes, enjoy the time you have together.... (read in full...)
I can't rely on friends. Should I accept the offer of a work colleague to take me home from hospital after my surgery?
Q. I have to have surgery soon, and will be going home that day, im told i need someone to take me home but i have noone? Its day surgery and i must be driven home Im all alone with no family or reliable friends, friends are busy and wont care ...
A. 12 July 2016: I would ask her. I think with her having sick family members she knows how important it is to have a ride, and I don't think she would ask if she didn't mean it.
Some hospitals do provide rides home - medical transport ( not sure here in your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's boring stare at other women is really getting to me!
Q. Hiya I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years it's always been a happy relationship up until recently I've noticed my boyfriend has a wandering eye he told me at the beginning that he likes pale blue eyes and long blonde hair I've got dark blue ...
A. 12 July 2016: How about you decide if you want to be with him or not. Settle that with yourself first.
IF you WANT to try and make it work, then maybe WALK AWAY every time he ogles other women.
One thing I'd like to point out though, is that PEOPLE do no go ... (read in full...)
Do I try to rein in my feelings for the guy at work? Or tell him how I feel?
Q. I've got close to a guy at work while I've got a bf of around a year. I can't get the guy from work out my head especially since we kissed one night after a few drinks. We agreed we can't talk outside work anymore for our partners becoming suspect ...
A. 12 July 2016: You have a partner yourself? And he does too?
Yes, you should "reign" it in. It's not very professional is it? And besides HE has already shot it down, attraction or no. He TOLD you that you two can't talk outside of work no more. My guess is... (read in full...)
We've broken up but keep seeing each other
Q. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago now as he didn't like being in a relationship. Ever since we have talked a lot and met up (mostly when drunk after nights out) and every time we are both out, there is always an issue when one of us get annoyed or ...
A. 12 July 2016: Don't settle for being his F-buddy if you are wanting a relationship.
I'd say you can't really complain too much as it REALLY is up to you to either walk away and tell him to leave you be, accept being his F-buddy or... tell him it's a relation... (read in full...)
O reply from potential date with friend do I block them
Q. Hi , i recently asked on here for advice about asking a friend on a date he said he would think about it and the advice was to let him have 3-4 days to get back to me . well its been 8 days he hasnt made any effort to contact me at all , i have ...
A. 12 July 2016: I'd just chill. I think it's natural that you feel hurt over being "silently" rejected as a potential date, but to go to the extend of block and delete? To me that seems over the top reaction.
What I'd do instead is just let the "friends... (read in full...)
I thought I stonewalled my wife from saving up for breast surgery but she's raised money on a website!
Q. Angry at wife for finding her on a free breast implant website. How should I make her stop? I've been married to my wife for 10 years and we have two children together. Six months back, she said to me how unsatisfied she's been with how her bre...
A. 12 July 2016: So are you more disgusted that she "prostituted" her image or that she wants new boobs?
You could argue that it was the only way SHE could find to make that kind of money, since YOU weren't willing to help her. I think THAT is the explanat... (read in full...)
Have my feelings changed towards my married lover?
Q. I've been with my married lover for a few years. He has gone on vacation with his wife several times over the course of our affair, leaving me behind. I know it's an affair and nobody approves. But I am not here for that part of it. I am just tr...
A. 11 July 2016: Have your feelings changed?
I'd say obviously. I do agree that people shouldn't fall apart like that when their partner is away, but in your case he isn't JUST away, he is also NOT YOUR partner and he IS away with HIS wife.
It has happen... (read in full...)
I feel he doesn't put enough into this relationship
Q. Please don't judge, I have never had a LDR. That being said I have had a crappy relationship and I know how I want to be treated. I made the decision just recently to be exclusive w/a guy I had known for a month, who had to move out of state. I ...
A. 11 July 2016: LDR rarely work long term. When they DO work it's because there is a mutual plan for a future together. THAT is kind of hard to have after only a month.
You two haven't even met? And can't find time to met up?
I think you are BOTH wasting you... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: "The wife I have now is jealous and insecure of my relationship with her and has requested I do not see her. My daughter needs to be mature and understand that I have to put her stepmother first"
In what World do you live where you spouse is more ... (read in full...)
The rumors of a crush are ruining my work life!
Q. Hi I love my job it's not a chore to go. Someone is spreading rumors that I fancy this guy and everyone is laughing behind my back. I've been friendly but no more than with the other guys there. He does make me feel awkward. he's taken this all the ...
A. 11 July 2016: Contact HR or you boss (if you have an HR I'd go to the boss first THEN the HR - I would NOT sit idly by and let people drag you through the mud with ridiculous rumors). That would be my first step. Because whomever is making AND spreading these ... (read in full...)
After being cheated on, I hate myself
Q. During my most recent relationship, I got cheated on by my girlfriend. She did it once fairly early in the relationship, and even though I hated the guy before it happened, she claims to be blackout drunk so I forgave her. She cheated again and ...
A. 10 July 2016: OP, don't OWN her bad choices and behaviors.
YOU didn't MAKE her cheat, YOU weren't the one who wasn't "good enough" - she was. She could have CHOSEN to end it and then sleep with someone else. SHE CHOSE to cheat, she CHOSE to disrespect herself,... (read in full...)
Can't understand why she cheated with a homosexual?
Q. Hi. What does it mean when that my wife has cheated me with a gay guy, and prefers gay friends?...
A. 10 July 2016: As I see it she cheated on you. End of story.
If she used the "he is gay" as an excuse... well, then OBVIOUSLY the gay wasn't gay, more likely bi-sexual (unless he was trying to hide his sexuality from public knowledge or trying to fit in, stil... (read in full...)
How should I explain this strange relationship?
Q. Dear All Just wanted a quick question answered if you have the time! My husband years ago brought up his ex's son (husbands stepson) called Oliver. Oliver was/is a good kid but full of negativity and a bad attitude, but as I said, a kind ...
A. 10 July 2016: As I see it, Oliver is just an added bonus. Doesn't matter that he isn't blood. Your husband clearly loves him and Oliver clearly loves your husband.
What do you tell YOUR child about Oliver? That Oliver is an "honorary brother". I really don;t th... (read in full...)
It worries me he hangs out with students
Q. Hello all, I met a guy several months ago. We started seeing each other because we liked each other's personalities, despite the fact that we are both busy and it is often difficult to see one another. We have a good relationship besides a fe...
A. 10 July 2016: Do you think it's realistic that he "dumps" all his younger friends?
Secondly, how is it your "job" to police who he befriends and hangs out with? You are dating him, not raising him.
Now, I get it seems a bit odd for a 30 year old has younger ... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016:
What kind of grown man would ask a co-worker to bring condoms for him? The answer? no one, specially not if he is the boss, that would just make him look shady. And seriously.... it's not a big deal to buy condoms for an adult male.
I'm sorry... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 10 July 2016: So stop playing games and act like an adult in the work place?... (read in full...)
Am I going crazy? Should I embrace that he wanted that type of video from me?
Q. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's dad and I just got back together today.. We've been apart officially for only 3 weeks. In that time, he hung with an ex girlfriend, took her on a boat and beach, and to a theme park. They kissed but claimed he d...
A. 9 July 2016: Are you worried he will leave again and that is why he wants naughty pictures? And why you are giving in?
I'd say no on naughty pictures, because he can SEE you in person and be "naughty" in person.
And I think YOU should reconsider this ... (read in full...)
I'm having trust issues with my girlfriend, is she cheating?
Q. I recently had my phone stop working, so i was using my girlfriends phone to contact people for awhile and she recieved a message of a screen shot of a message she had deleted on her phone. The message was her trying to pick up a guy she met at a...
A. 9 July 2016: I would be honest with her and tell her:" I don't trust you or your story, I know I should because you haven't given me reason to NOT trust you in the past, but this episode you HAVE -it's iffy."
"Now you can choose to ignore how I feel or you c... (read in full...)
Should I consider opening up a dialogue with the father of my six year old? Or could it cause problems if I do this?
Q. I have a six year old who unfortunately has an absent father of a one night stand. I did the grown up thing to inform dad of pregnancy but he cut all contact at that point. I decided not pursue him because selfishly it made it easier for me going...
A. 9 July 2016: Are you really so sure he couldn't find you? In this day and age of Facebook etc? I mean if he REALLY wanted to find you. I mean you informed him that you were pregnant he he STILL didn't even know your name? WHAT? So he HAD your phone number and he ... (read in full...)
What are likely reasons that a man would ask this question of a woman about children ?
Q. What would you think if your boyfriend asked you "what do you think things would of been like if you never would of have had your kids?" I have kids from a previous relationship but he's always been great with them, so I was thrown off by that ...
A. 9 July 2016: Let me guess? He doesn't have kids, right?
Being as YOUNG as you are, he is wondering what you could have been like or what you might have done instead of becoming a mom. It's not really a strange question and it's not that he thinks you shouldn'... (read in full...)
Why would a Bf not like his Gf to wear makeup?
Q. 15 year old girl. I met this guy and he's really awesome in all the right ways. When I met him I was all done up. He tells me not to wear makeup. He allows me to get my brows done and straighten my hair but I wore a little bit of makeup on a date (...
A. 9 July 2016: He ALLOWS you?
No, no, no, girl. A BF is NOT the boss of you, he is NOT your parent either and it's CERTAINLY not up to him to decide if you can wear make up or not.
If make up makes YOU feel good about yourself, What in the WORLD is his pro... (read in full...)
Is this a cultural shock that is affecting my relationship? Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Q. I dont know where to start. I am from South America and I emigrated to USA 8 years ago, I studied got a degree. I have a good job and support myself , single no kids. I met an Iraqi guy 2 years ago, hes younger by 8 years. He came legally, ...
A. 9 July 2016: I couldn't have written it better than Cindy, so I am not even going to try.
I don't understand why.... you would "date" a guy who think there are only 2 groups of women.. hooker and wives. Because he blatantly called YOU a hooker by default.... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 9 July 2016: OP,
Don't worry about him calling you insecure and controlling, because in the end? WHO CARES?! You at least shouldn't because he is no one to you any more, and thankfully someone you are not going to keep in your life.
I think he called you "i... (read in full...)
Going no contact isn’t easy, so how do I make sure I’m not swayed by his efforts?
Q. Since my original question regarding my narcissist, we have gotten back together and just recently I discarded him because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. All of the motional turmoil hit me all at once and I vocalized myself to my ...
A. 9 July 2016: Everything Ruby said,
Take notes, follow you. It's a cop out to say you can't help yourself because of "trauma bonding". (sorry)
You want this guy out of your life and out of your head, follow those 11 steps Ruby mentioned. No skipping, no waf... (read in full...)
I do not want us to split up but how can the issues we have be resolved?
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now the problem is he has no sex drive whatsoever I'm lucky if it happens once a week at first it wasn't great but was more regular than now he always stares at other women He tells me he likes blondes who ...
A. 9 July 2016: I have to say OP, I agree with WiseOwlE here,
I think you are more hung up and not rocking the boat and settling with this man, because dumping him scares you.
There is no fix with the guy as far as libido. IF he isn't interested in se... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 9 July 2016: "I've just been blocked and unfriended by her on facebook, I'm quitting my job."
You are quitting your JOB because someone unfriended you from Facebook? Seriously?
YOU need to grow some thicker skin, son.
SO what if she doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
How can I explain that I need some help with the housework, even though he works full time?
Q. The past 3 years I have been a homemaker. I've taken care of all household cleaning and food preparations for my husband. I'm now in the process of starting an online shop to sell my artwork. For the past few months I've been working on creating...
A. 9 July 2016: Sit him down and tell him.
Say :" I REALLY want to try and make a business selling my artwork, but without your help and support I find it almost impossible, so I'm asking you to help me till it takes off. I'm not expecting YOU to come home aft... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 7 July 2016: You need to back off and let her decide if she wants to talk to you or not. YOU CAN NOT - I will repeat.... YOU CAN NOT make her want to talk to you or be friends with you.
You come off as clingy and desperate.
Like Auntie Cindy said, YOU ... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 7 July 2016: Ignore it?
It's Facebook, so no need to take it so personal. You two are obviously not really friendly but friendly co-workers.. So in the future? TREAT her like you would ANY OTHER co-worker.
Don't know what you posted on her "wall" but I don... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 6 July 2016: Dear OP,
Is this the same guy who invited you to the same 4th of July fireworks as he was taking the ex to?
Make no mistake, the ex is not just "She is just a jealous female with good instincts". HE was allowing her to be "on" the date with yo... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 5 July 2016: I would wish him well and move on.
***** UNLESS they have kids together and one of the kids are ill or it was a REAL emergency about one of the kids.****
I find people who are busy texting instead of interacting with the people around t... (read in full...)
We fight, we flirt, we hug and kiss, does she want to date, or for me to leave her alone?
Q. So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, ...
A. 3 July 2016: Ask her out and you will know?
And you are right it's not the kind of behavior for the work-place.
But if you want to find out what's up - ask her out. IF you want to date her.
IF not, maybe dial it down, and be professional at work. ... (read in full...)
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