Our families are not blending. Is it time to move on?
Q. Help!! My partner and I live with our 5 kids. Two from his previous relationship three from mine. He's very bias towards his kids and I'm scared its damaging my kids. Two of my kids spend half the week with their dad and I was on my own with the ...
A. 3 September 2016: I'm sorry it didn't work out, but in the end THIS is better for you AND your daughter.
People who talk about wanting to change, don't. He is only telling you that to placate you. And I think you know that.
I'd honestly wish him well and block h... (read in full...)
He says he's the victim. He's smug and confident and denies he hit me. How can I get my things back from him?
Q. I feel hurt by my ex and don't know what to do about it. Our relationship was just 6 months but very intense. He had a serious life threatening physical illness when I was with him and I had a mental breakdown shortly after from the stress of it bu...
A. 8 August 2016: I'd tell him this, IF he wants HIS stuff back... he can BRING your stuff over when he picks up HIS stuff. If he doesn't bring your stuff, he can't have his. Quid pro Quo.
... (read in full...)
My worklife has become uncomfortable since I dumped the guy I was dating. He is my boss. How should I handle this?
Q. I started dating a guy from work. I'd been single for a while and it was nice having someone interested in me. He wanted to tell everyone, i wanted to keep it quiet. I had previously dated someone from work albeit 4 years earlier but i wanted it ...
A. 8 August 2016: Don't beat yourself up, it will not fix a thing, OP
JUST learn from it. THAT can help you avoid this kind of thing in the future. I can imagine how easy it is to fall for someone you spend 40-60 hours a week with. It's not like it's uncommon... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he is messing about with his old flings?
Q. Hi everyone, I got back with my ex who promised he would like to have a serious relationship with me and would not mess with other gals again. My rule is he can have his friends but he can't cheat - just be honest and he is free to go. Don...
A. 8 August 2016: Don't beat yourself up.
You didn't MAKE him cheat. And you didn't judge him for his past. NOTHING wrong in that.
Now you know. A guy who hasn't really dealt with issues from his past doesn't make a good partner.
Let it go. And let him go. H... (read in full...)
He says he's the victim. He's smug and confident and denies he hit me. How can I get my things back from him?
Q. I feel hurt by my ex and don't know what to do about it. Our relationship was just 6 months but very intense. He had a serious life threatening physical illness when I was with him and I had a mental breakdown shortly after from the stress of it bu...
A. 8 August 2016: ACCEPT that he is a total asshat and that you will NEVER see those things EVER again, the more you TRY and get them, the MORE he will resist. HE likes keeping your stuff because it makes him feel like he has power over you.
LEARN from this, do... (read in full...)
I thought he was disrespectful to me. But now he says I'm not to contact him. Did I over-react?
Q. We've known each other for 6 years and have met in person countless times.I've also met his family.However,he has been wanting to skype with me for the last couple days but we couldn't because of schedule confiction.I finally I told him that I can ...
A. 8 August 2016: Like I said in my last advice (in your other post)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-some-exes-reach-out-after-some.html
LET him go. STOP trying to hard to make something happen. He just wanted attention and to see if you were still i... (read in full...)
Found my boyfriend on a dating site. What should I do? Set him up or block him?
Q. Ive just been shocked by my boyfriend . He has been very silent with me and told me his phone was broken .My friend is on a dating site and she told me he is on there . I looked and he is , so i put up a fake profile only for him to see , i have no ...
A. 8 August 2016: I wouldn't waste my time setting him up. If he is a "serial" cheater he will no doubt try and turn it around and make it out like he KNEW it was you and that HE set up the profile you catch you.
If I were you, I'd take a screenshot of his prof... (read in full...)
Am I being unrealistic in wanting perfection? Just split with him again.
Q. I went out with P for a year but we split up as we were always arguing. I then dated S for 4 years but we split up last year after my dad died and i went alittle crazy. So P is back on the scene. He's more tactile and relaxed he want marriage and...
A. 7 August 2016: I don't think you are wanting "perfection" or expecting "perfection", I think you just want a guy who is a good match and sorry, P isn't.
I get that you want babies, but I think it would be a mistake to SETTLE for P just so you can have babies ... (read in full...)
My worklife has become uncomfortable since I dumped the guy I was dating. He is my boss. How should I handle this?
Q. I started dating a guy from work. I'd been single for a while and it was nice having someone interested in me. He wanted to tell everyone, i wanted to keep it quiet. I had previously dated someone from work albeit 4 years earlier but i wanted it ...
A. 7 August 2016: Learn from it?
Don't crap where you eat, AKA don't date in the work place in the future.
I'd look for a transfer to a different office or team (if possible) or even start looking for another job. Until then, JUST be professional and... (read in full...)
Is it too early to try to define our relationship?
Q. So I've been speaking to this guy since December. We met online and he perked up courage to ask me on a date in April. We went on a really nice cinema date before he left for work again offshore. We have recently went on another date at his which...
A. 7 August 2016: I think it's a tad soon, ONLY because you have only HAD two dates in person. However, if you two have been talking since December - it's a GOOD 8 months of talking - and thus NOT (IMHO) not rushing it to ask him.
I would also KEEP sex off the tabl... (read in full...)
I'm worried about getting pregnant if we have sex.
Q. im a 13 year old girl and i need help!! me and my boyfriend both want to have sex but we dont know if we should. We have talked about it before but we cant decide. we have seen eah other naked before and we have fooled around naked a lot. but we d...
A. 7 August 2016: Chances of pregnancy is high when you have TWO people who have no experience with birth control, their own bodies.
It is EASY to gt caught up in the moment, to let the hormones "rules", but those 30 seconds it would take for him to ejaculat... (read in full...)
How can I overcome the fact that I can't stand being alone?
Q. For the last four years all I have done is go out an party and get involved with the wrong people - even though these people are selfish- superficial and life revolves around their own selfish motives I go out just to get my mind off and not be a...
A. 7 August 2016: Volunteer. Take some adult classes.
Be a better person. Better yourself.
Take break from social media, it's NOT reality.... (read in full...)
I did lie to her about my age. Do I get my ex girlfriend a birthday present, hoping she'll start talking to me again?
Q. Do I get my ex girlfriend a birthday gift, maybe a book, Starbucks gift card and small flowers with small card attached just saying Happy Birthday from me? Or what would you suggest? I want her back and just even talking again to start. I met this...
A. 7 August 2016: How about you just take no for an answer?
You are in your 30's, you lied about your age to a TEENAGER so you could date her and when she heard the truth she decided that the age gap was too big and she probably didn't appreciated being lied to ... (read in full...)
I'm not priority on his social media
Q. What do people think about texting a partner and them not getting back to you, but seeing they are on social media a few times, then they text you back about an hour etc later? My partner does this and it makes me feel like he looks at his phone...
A. 6 August 2016: Are these important texts? or texts that "require" an answer or.. just you wanting to chat?
I think if you WANT to talk to him, then CALL don't text.... (read in full...)
He needs to understand its over and he needs to stop harrassing me!
Q. I left my abusive husband 3 months ago. During that time, in a moment of weakness after him begging to give him another chance, I said that we could try to make it work. For a month after that, he went dead silent and refused everything I tried to ...
A. 6 August 2016: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim, CONTACT the US Embassy ASAP they might be able to help you get home faster and maybe even help you find another place to stay IF you can not leave the country for 2 months (if you have a work contract or whatnot).
... (read in full...)
Why do some exes reach out after some time has passed only to go cold again?
Q. I was with my ex on and off for few years and we live 4 hours apart.We finally broke it off for good when he met someone else closer.However, he started to reach out to more than year later.He left several messages on fb , telling me that he misses ...
A. 6 August 2016: Is he still with someone else? Or is he single?
If he is still with someone else, I think Skyping and the whole "miss you" is inappropriate of him. He isn't looking for a friend, he is looking for another woman to give him attention. And I guess ... (read in full...)
It's all wonderful except for his new attitude about our religion!
Q. Can two people be together long-term if they have different religion? I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I love him very much. He has some flaws but he is a good match for me physically and emotionally. we can talk for hours on end...
A. 6 August 2016: I think your best bet would be to talk to your priest, pastor, rabbi, mullah (whichever fits YOUR religion/faith).
I don't really see how this can work long term, IF you want your children to grow up with your religion and he is VERY anti-you... (read in full...)
Why is my friend being so rude?
Q. Please provide me with some insight about a former friend's motives. I was friends with a woman, let's call her Alice, for a little over a decade. We met in our early 20s. We partied together as single ladies for a few years. I was there when...
A. 5 August 2016: Yep, best thing you can do is move on.
Some friendships lasts a life time, some a season, some less some more.. IT IS OK to decide that a friendship is not longer having a positive impact on you and then cut it off.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend avoids my family!
Q. Should i go on vacation with my boyfriends family even though he avoids my family? My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Things are getting serious and he's been mentioning marriage and I would love to marry him one day. The problem...
A. 5 August 2016: I think you should sit him down and talk about it. If he dismisses it with excuses" that aren't really valid, I'd reconsider the relationship, not just whether YOU should stop seeing his family.... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about a friend but I don't think he knows it!
Q. I am crazy about this friend of mine and I don't know if he knows it or not. We have been flirting back and forth since last 2 years and met a few times. Everytime I meet him, there is some or the other problem and I do know he is really busy with ...
A. 5 August 2016: I'd say stop being the one who makes all the compromises. Seems like he thinks all HE has to do it show up. YOU will do the rest.
It also seems like HE is not as into you, as you are into him. Being shy has nothing to do with that. All this ben... (read in full...)
Why is my friend being so rude?
Q. Please provide me with some insight about a former friend's motives. I was friends with a woman, let's call her Alice, for a little over a decade. We met in our early 20s. We partied together as single ladies for a few years. I was there when...
A. 4 August 2016: Ah! thanks for clearing that up, OP - as I read it it sounded like you expected some tit for that.
And yes, OP it is annoying when people are being fake - and I would call your "former" friend that. Because she "faked" interest and then just dr... (read in full...)
Is Facebook the way forward for me to meet him?
Q. I recently met a guy who works at a hotel bar/restaurant (he's 18, the same age as me) when I visited the bar for a drink with my mother. At first we were all just introducing ourselves (we're regulars at this bar and he's fairly new) but gradually ...
A. 4 August 2016: Why not?
I'm sure if all he wanted was help finding an apartment he would have asked more people to look for one than you, right?
So if you DO know about any apartments, it would be an even better "excuse" to call/text.
And I'd definitely ca... (read in full...)
Why is my friend being so rude?
Q. Please provide me with some insight about a former friend's motives. I was friends with a woman, let's call her Alice, for a little over a decade. We met in our early 20s. We partied together as single ladies for a few years. I was there when...
A. 4 August 2016: I agree with Ciar.
I think she has just realized sooner than you that the friendship has run it course.
Though I do find it rude to SAY that you want to send something to a little one and then ignore it. But I wouldn't be up in arms over it, yo... (read in full...)
How do I hint to potential online date friend id like to get to know him better
Q. Hi , i recently asked about making contact with a guy i like and know on a dating website i took everyones advice and messaged him , We had a little chat / bit of a catch up the problem now is we havent messaged each other today , i dont want to be ...
A. 4 August 2016: IS there something you KNOW he likes? Like music? movies? museums? art?
If so you could see what's around the area and ask him if he wants to go see XYZ.
Personally, I'd chill a little. So you haven't messaged today.. not a big deal.
How... (read in full...)
His ex girlfriend wants him back!
Q. I have been best friends with this guy Jimmy for 5 years,ever since we attended Marquette together. We just recently started sleeping together about 6 months ago because we were both lonely, and we agreed that we would never turn it into a relati...
A. 4 August 2016: I think you should decide WHAT you want from Jimmy and then talk to him.
DO you WANT a relationship or to be his FWB?
If you say I want a relationship, then talk that through, but I would make it clear that IF you two become a couple the conta... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 years is lying and hiding things? I don't know what to do about this
Q. Hi, I am with my bf for 3 years. We lived one year together after we decided to continue but living in a different places. When I met him he just came to US and all he had were 2 suitcases full of clothes and documents. I said this because last ...
A. 4 August 2016: I'm so glad llifton said that! because THAT was my FIRST impression... OH shit the guy is a serial killer!
But that doesn't mean he is...
I DO however find the excuse ridiculous. If he knew and dated someone who's clothes and locks of hairs h... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 4 August 2016: She is jealous of your relationship, while she might (or might not) want to date your BF - she DOES want a guy to fuss over he and have what you two have. Obviously she doesn't.
And she is trying to "insert" herself in to your relation... (read in full...)
My ex has changed so much since our break up and it really disturbs me
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago now due to the fact he didn't want a relationship. Since, we have occasionally met up and spend time together which we should not of.. As it only continued to hurt me, not bother him. He has ...
A. 3 August 2016: Block him and accept that this MAY be who he is now. Or at least WANT to be (or think he wants to be).
And then no more meeting up with him, it gives you nothing but false hope and grief.
Some people who end a long term relationship rea... (read in full...)
Is Facebook the way forward for me to meet him?
Q. I recently met a guy who works at a hotel bar/restaurant (he's 18, the same age as me) when I visited the bar for a drink with my mother. At first we were all just introducing ourselves (we're regulars at this bar and he's fairly new) but gradually ...
A. 3 August 2016: Why NOT ask him if he has a FB and if you can add him next time you met up? It seems more polite and less.... stalker'ish.
Or give him your number.... (read in full...)
Do I make first contact?
Q. Hey , ive seen a guy i like on a dating site the thing is i already know him i dont have a pic up as of yet being new . but he did look at my profile but didnt message . should i casually message saying hi fancy seeing you on here or just leave him ...
A. 3 August 2016: Upload a few pictures and send him a little message. He can then IF interested check out your profile. He may not have recognized you from your profile alone.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
BUT don't sit back and wait for him to reply. Se... (read in full...)
We broke up since months ago so why is my ex suddenly checking up on me?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend 6 months ago after a rocky relationship. Within a couple of weeks he was in a new relationship. We've not stayed in touch and we're not linked via any kind of social media. My ex has started looking at my LinkedIn acco...
A. 3 August 2016: If he is aware that YOU can see him checking your profile out, he probably want YOU to think of him.
Seems like you are WAY better off without him.
Chin up and don't let it phase you that he is looking at your profile.... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance or end it before I get hurt?
Q. No judgement please . I got chatting to a guy on online dating site ill call him A . we met and stayed in touch we took ourselves off the site. We decided to take it really slow so theres no pressure. i know his dad had a bad accident he needs to be ...
A. 3 August 2016: I agree with Tisha
I would call and leave a message, tell him that you wish him well, that you presume he is not at a place & time to date and that you accept that but also that YOU have to move on. Wish his father good luck with his health a... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 2 August 2016:
If you don't WANT to have sex with a guy, then don't. If you want to wait a while longer till you feel comfortable or know that it's an exclusive relationship then do so.
Expecting "favors" from men because you spread your legs, is just not how... (read in full...)
I’m feeling guilty for not throwing my baby a party for her first birthday!
Q. Has anyone here held off the idea of throwing a 1yr old birthday party for tgeir baby? My baby turns 1 next month. Myself and dad mostly dad planned to not throw her a party. For some reason i have started to feel really bad. I feel like i was ...
A. 2 August 2016: He doesn't HAVE to be there.
The first (I'd say 3-4 ) birthdays are NOT really for the kid as they don't really have much of a concept of WHAT a birthday is, specially not a 1 year old. They don't give a flying fart. BUT the FAMILY around the baby... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got his ex pregnant but still wants to be with me
Q. My boyfriend n I have been datin for past a year now. I has showed great interest in settlin down wt me bt recently I fofound out he jst sees his ex galfriend and before I know wwhat is happpenin, she is already pregnant. We leave vry far from each ...
A. 1 August 2016: Let him go. He now has OTHER obligations to fill, namely being a father. But instead he is trying to "run away" from his responsibility by chasing after you.
If he could sleep with her while "wooing" you... He will cheat again when the opportun... (read in full...)
We broke up since months ago so why is my ex suddenly checking up on me?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend 6 months ago after a rocky relationship. Within a couple of weeks he was in a new relationship. We've not stayed in touch and we're not linked via any kind of social media. My ex has started looking at my LinkedIn acco...
A. 1 August 2016: Why knows?
Curiosity?
Maybe things are not as great with the new girl and he is being nostalgic.
Maybe someone brought you up in conversation and he felt like seeing if you are still OK without actually contacting you - pointless really. ... (read in full...)
Our families are not blending. Is it time to move on?
Q. Help!! My partner and I live with our 5 kids. Two from his previous relationship three from mine. He's very bias towards his kids and I'm scared its damaging my kids. Two of my kids spend half the week with their dad and I was on my own with the ...
A. 1 August 2016: Yeah, definitely time to end it.
While I don't think it's strange that his kids get away with "murder" because they lost their mom, I would NOT accept for anyone to make MY kids feel like crap. Nope, no way.
As for the kids? Well, kids fight... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 1 August 2016: So ask her out?
... (read in full...)
Worried my alter ego is taking over
Q. I am 15 years old and have a very cool thing that I can do with my voice, I am able to make my voice sound like a girl. I was about 8 when I found out I could do this and very well in fact that everyone on Xbox thought I was a girl. I pretende...
A. 1 August 2016: I think you like attention, but I also think you NEED to start to consider HOW much you are HURTING other people with these games.
1. the girl who's pictures you are using.
2. the guy who THINKS he has a relationship or friend with this girl a... (read in full...)
Should I rekindle this old affair?
Q. So this is a bit long winded. 6 years ago I met a man a work and we had immediate chemistry. However we are both married. On a night out, we made out. We started a flirtatious texting relationship. We never had sex, only kissing. We would text all ...
A. 1 August 2016: You should either leave your husband or FIX your marriage before you are this concerned over another man.
Or does your husband know and approve of this?
IF not, fix your home situation first, you are being a shitty wife.
How would you f... (read in full...)
I need to stop unwanted neighbour's attentions
Q. Hi I'll try and keep this as short as I can. When my partner and I moved into our house a year ago we had a few teething problems as neither of us are DIY skilled and our next door neighbour, I’ll call him L, a similar age to us, overheard our ...
A. 1 August 2016: What does your husband say?
I do think he is semi-stalking you. Now he MAY have some problems with social cues, he may think he comes off as a nice neighbor and most of all he may think he is actually VERY subtle.. (which he certainly isn't). ... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 31 July 2016: I think she is over the top and way inappropriate for most work environments.
I think SHE "thinks" she is having great banter with you, that it makes her feel good and wanted. And I think she believes you enjoy this as much as she does. So I thi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me touch her. What do I do?
Q. Hi there. I'm looking for some guidance. I've been seeing a girl for a couple of months now and she barely touches me. I think I should maybe point out I am a very affectionate guy. I know I have a very high sex drive. My previous relation...
A. 31 July 2016: I don't think you two are sexually compatible.
Now I don't know how long you have know/dated her - a couple of months can be 1-3 so maybe she isn't comfortable with you YET or she has a MUCH lower libido than you.
However, her texting other gu... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 31 July 2016:
Be polite and professional at work, like you would ANY other co-worker.
She hasn't done anything to warrant being ignored. Just don't have such great expectations of her as you did.... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 30 July 2016: Why?
Because she is trying to be nice. She doesn't KNOW how to tell you that she only regard you as friendly co-worker.
This is so classic "I was raised to be nice to everyone" behavior. So many girls are raised to not offend others, to be... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 30 July 2016: I agree with Wise.
I think you have ignored ALL the advice you were given LAST time you posted about this girl. Because it WASN'T what you wanted to hear.
She IS NOT a friend, she is a FRIENDLY co-worker. She doesn't WANT you on her Facebook ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he is messing about with his old flings?
Q. Hi everyone, I got back with my ex who promised he would like to have a serious relationship with me and would not mess with other gals again. My rule is he can have his friends but he can't cheat - just be honest and he is free to go. Don...
A. 26 July 2016: What you have to decide if THIS guy is someone you can see yourself with long term, THAT would include whatever friends HE may have.
I think if you have suspicions and doubts ALREADY (or rather again) then maybe HE isn't worth trying a relation... (read in full...)
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