I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 2 July 2016: Good luck OP.
One word extra of advice? Don't jump into NSA just yet. TAKE some time to being you, to healing and moving forward. USING another woman for sex is going to fix how you feel. Just saying.
Rather FOCUS on friends, family, hobbies ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has been speaking to his ex, what do I do?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years with a brief break in the middle. I have just discovered that he has been texting/sexting his ex from around 5-6 years ago, possibly his first official relationship. From the beginning, we have b...
A. 29 June 2016: Aww, OP
You really need to have a little reality check here. His excuse is bogus. You don't sext someone to find closure, come on - don't be so desperate to have a relationship that you are willing to let this (or any other guy) take a dump all... (read in full...)
I feel that no one will give me a break. How can I gain more acceptance in a work situation?
Q. I feel like I'm being discriminated against at work but it's the restaurant owner! I messed up in the past and felt VERY lucky to have gotten the job I did. Right after my arrest, I applied for every job I could and landed a job as a barrista...
A. 28 June 2016: I think YouWish gave excellent advice and I hope you follow it.
DOCUMENT all the little digs at you at work.
Look out for the various programs you might be able to use to find a new job. Keep looking WHILE keeping your head down at your cur... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with a distant cousin? In my culture some disapprove of this.
Q. Is it wrong to sleep with distant cousin? Not even real distant cousin. Its just that both of our family have same family name. I hate when all of my and their family meets like( cousin family) Also in our culture it is okay to Marry first co...
A. 28 June 2016: If it's not OK in your culture, then it's not OK in your culture. That will no change overnight or because we here on a website think otherwise.
I don't think it has to do with right or wrong here, it has to do with traditions and social norms.
... (read in full...)
How long can I "play" hubby for her?
Q. Me [25 M] in love with [26 F] living with her bf for the past 9 years with two kids It's really a tough situation because I have fallen in love with her and she with me. But as is always the case when someone has been with another guy for 9 years ...
A. 28 June 2016: You back off.
That is how you proceed.
If she is done with her partner and relationship, then SHE needs to finish that before starting a new romance with you. Right now, she is cheating on her partner, and you are the homewrecker.
... (read in full...)
Should I ask him why he acts all giddy around me?
Q. People tend to think i'm a teen still in high school, but i'm a grown adult woman and well the city bus driver is sexxi as ever. Two days ago he did a 360 degree turn to look me directly in my eyes just smiling his azz off and he was like “hey litt...
A. 28 June 2016: Maybe the guy is just a friendly and flirty guy? (at least with the pretty ladies) I would NOT read more into it than that.
He drives a bus and probably a little bored so the people he meet during work helps alleviate boredom.
I'd say nothi... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if a man, married or in a relationship, has a happy ending occur after a massage?
Q. Hi ladies (and gents), I was searching for some opinion here! Long story cut short, what do you think of a married man or your spouse getting a happy ending after a massage? Would that be considered as cheating? Would you be upset if he told you...
A. 28 June 2016: What an odd question.
While a "normal" massage CAN feel relaxing, soothing and sensual - I have never felt sexually around by it and it's certainly NOT something that you should expect from a massage. Honestly, I fell asleep 9 out of 10 times, I... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend selfish ? He is happy to receive, but will not reciprocate following times when I pleasure him
Q. my boyfriend never goes down on me. one day i asked why don’t you do it, he said he is not comfortable..so he don’t to do it. BUT i love doing it.. i more than comfortable doing it . one time he asked me.. i thought he will reciprocate so i did it.....
A. 27 June 2016: SVC said it, sex is not tit for tat.
IF you do A he must do B - that's not how it works. Sex is a weird and wonderful thing to share and in so many ways you can compare it to food. There are thing you LOVE to do (strawberries with honey) and ther... (read in full...)
It feels like he has checked out of the relationship.
Q. I feel like my boyfriend is taking me for granted. We are both 30. We've been together for half a year. The first four months were amazing. We always had a lot to talk about, he was very outgoing and chatty, and affectionate, and we did many things ...
A. 27 June 2016: With all due respect, anon female..
It seems Auntie Cindy and I see more eye to eyes (as usual), than you and I do (which is fine, mind you).
IN this case, OP's story... they have been together for 6 months. She SHOULD not orbit him, and b... (read in full...)
Would you go to a reunion with a brother who blames you for Dad's alcoholism?
Q. Hello, I am the youngest of four. I have two older sisters and a brother. My dad passed away in 2008 and my mom in 2013. When my dad passed away my brother called me two days later blaming me for his death. He died of a bad liver due to drinking. My ...
A. 27 June 2016: I agree with Brown Wolf.
You didn't "make" your dad an alcoholic. That WAS partly HIS own choice, now he may not have thought the drinking was as bad as it got, still NOT your doing. DO not accept the blame for that.
And yes, I would also suspe... (read in full...)
Breaking up was the right decision so why do I feel bad now?
Q. I was okay for two weeks when busy traveling for work, but home now and thinking about this man I was seeing for the past four years. It was a difficult relationship and never really knew where I stood with him. If I was being real, I would al...
A. 27 June 2016: You have started to process your feelings, the anger is two-fold (I bet) both at yourself and him. And then of course the fact that you were right, he didn't really give a darn because he didn't want to discuss it further.
It's all part of the p... (read in full...)
What does the appearance of her toothbrush at my place mean?
Q. I've got a bit of a humorous question, however, it's also a serious one. Ladies, what does it really mean when you leave some of your belongings at a guys place? The girl I've been sleeping with for a while now just left (Cue the music: "Don don ...
A. 27 June 2016: I think it means she likes to clean her teeth before bed and when she wakes up... and that carrying around a toothbrush in your purse is nasty.
I wouldn't read more into it.... (read in full...)
Why do we keep on contacting each other after our breakup?
Q. My ex broke up with me over 2 months ago now, during the time from then to now - we have been in contact a lot and just basically can't seem to stay away from each other, no matter how much we say we will. We have repeated again and again to eac...
A. 27 June 2016: I would cut the contact fully for at least 3-6 months and then see how you both feel. If there are the same then either resume dating or fully cut the cord.
Right now, he is still getting the "GF- experience" with you without having to commit o... (read in full...)
He just wants to argue and never says sorry.
Q. So I've been dating my guy for 8months now, but we've known each other for years as good friends. im 26 and hes 30. We both work. Lately he has been talking about taking me to see his family and talking rings and marriage and I love him but ...
A. 27 June 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim, but will go one step further, he is taking you 100% for granted now that he has "talked" rings and marriage he is pretty sure you aren't going anywhere.
Dating someone who can not ACCEPT responsibility when wrong (a... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 27 June 2016: I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your "wife" is full of shit.
He isn't "just" a friend. She hasn't stopped overnight (1 day) to have feeling for him and wanting him. She is now deleting messages and being upset with you for "keeping... (read in full...)
Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 26 June 2016: A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (25 June 2016):
Honeypie -
"Maybe they are SO full of confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit?"
Yes exactly. I don't know if you have any idea how many times girls and women have... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm reluctant to date a girl so much younger than me? She's 19
Q. Okay so Friday night I went out with a friend of mine, and we met some girls of which one seemed to be taking a liking to me. She looked fairly young and these days girls look a lot older then they actually are. But apparently she's 19 years old. ...
A. 26 June 2016: She wants YOU to contact her.
However, if you feel she MIGHT be a bit too young for your taste then don't. You don't "owe" her to contact her. If you want to give her a chance, pick a day/date/venue and suggest it to her.
... (read in full...)
His attentions aren't unpleasant but I'd like them to stop
Q. How do I stop a guy from flirting with me - I never flirt back. I'm not rude towards him. I am just civil. But I am shy and he may get the wrong message. I laugh at his jokes, but only when they're funny. This may sound weird, but I don't thin...
A. 26 June 2016: If you don't want to tell him directly, you might have to "resort" to more subtle ways and this guy? might not pick up on subtle.
Keep chat to a minimum - like hello, goodbye, thanks, you are welcome.
YOU do not have to sit and listen to his jo... (read in full...)
I'm not crazy .... am I?
Q. Hey everyone, I will keep this short and sweet (I am looking for a volume of answers to gauge what is deemed as acceptable by all) About six weeks ago I started chatting to a girl on Tinder, lovely bloody thing she is... We live 350kms apart, sh...
A. 26 June 2016: Honey, listen to you gut.
It's telling you "I feel as if this is bullshit" (to quote you) because it IS bullshit.
My guess is there is a LOT more to this "friendship" of her with him than meets the eye. And there are as many red flags that I... (read in full...)
When is the right time to take an ex back?
Q. I have not been seeing or contacting my ex for two years now. He sent me a text yesterday just to say hi on social network. As we text he tells me he is still inlove with me and wants to be the best guy for me. He blames himself for the break up ...
A. 26 June 2016: I, like Auntie Cindy, almost typed NEVER! as well. Because it RARELY is a good idea to take back an ex. When people break up there usually is at least ONE good reason why it happened, in your case, several.
Now, has he changed? I can't say, but... (read in full...)
Do I end the 25 year friendship ?
Q. I dont understand why my friend is trying to make me feel guilty. Sorry but this is a long story , I have a friend who lives in a different town to me its only a 10 minute bus ride ill call her A i also have a friend who lives in the same town as ...
A. 26 June 2016: I would just start to let it run out in the sand. She is a long time friend and she isn't liking the fact that time has changed, you said it yourself she USED to push you around and bully her way to get what SHE wanted, but no longer... so yes, she ... (read in full...)
I felt we were connection but she has gone quiet.
Q. Hey guys! I've been dating a girl for 2 weeks or so now and been on about 6 dates with her, we are meant to be going out tomorrow. She's gone abit quiet- less messages/ calls, I really do like her and feel like we are already connecting. I'm ...
A. 26 June 2016: 2 weeks? CHILL!!
Go with the flow don't PUSH for things to move faster. It's been 2 weeks!
Go out on more dates, HAVE fun, don't RELY on texting as a way to get to know her.... (read in full...)
It feels like he has checked out of the relationship.
Q. I feel like my boyfriend is taking me for granted. We are both 30. We've been together for half a year. The first four months were amazing. We always had a lot to talk about, he was very outgoing and chatty, and affectionate, and we did many things ...
A. 26 June 2016: 4 months was the amount of time he could keep up the facade of "loving" partner after that, it's too much work for him. So my guess is... THIS is who he is.
Work comes first. Then himself, then family, friends and you. ( not necessarily in that ... (read in full...)
Has he agreed to see where things lead?
Q. I had been seeing a separated man for 2 months. He has been separated for 18 months. He has been very open and honest with me about his difficult divorce he is in the process of. From the start he told me he wasn't sure how much he had to give ...
A. 26 June 2016: I think *you* have agreed to be his booty call/ FWB or casual sex partner more or less by going over there and "having fun" after the kid was asleep. So while YOU say you and he are not into casual.. that is exactly what you are doing (IMHO)
He ha... (read in full...)
Why do men always lose interest in me?
Q. Why do men always lose interest in me after two months? I dated three men for two months each and suddenly, at the two month point they cool way off. Communication drops, they stop making plans, and we just stop talking. I do my part. I don't over ...
A. 26 June 2016: You have had a run-in with 3 guys who were not a good match. Maybe they were dating multiple women and thus giving LESS to each girl.
While they MAY have seemed like incredibly patient and respectful, you barely know them. 2 months is not a long t... (read in full...)
Not sure if 'No' means no for good
Q. Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...
A. 25 June 2016: So if you know for a fact that she lied.... then you should also know NOT to waste any more time or energy on her.
My guess is, she said she would get back to you, because she wasn't sure HOW to reject you in the "nicest" way possible. Maybe sh... (read in full...)
Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?
Q. I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...
A. 25 June 2016: You tried small talk (what are you doing over the week-end) and she reminded you that she had already told you... OK so maybe you weren't paying full attention.. so what? It happens.
All you can do in those situations is say; "oh yes you are righ... (read in full...)
She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?
Q. Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...
A. 25 June 2016: You should PRETEND like you have moved on from the little faux-pas - just say hi and how are you? small talk as normal.
YOU have nothing to "sort" out.
And you can still be "friendly" with her, as long as you can respect that she rejected you... (read in full...)
Four months into the relationship, so why is he choosing to sleep in a different bed to me?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm dating a guy younger than me for past 4 months. We hang around in his place during weekend. It's the second time I find him sleeping in living room because he says he steal his blanket and he can't sleep or I turn around a lot. ...
A. 25 June 2016: I agree with Cindy, it's not WHERE he sleeps that should bother you, it's the rest you mention.
Getting annoyed when you ask him stuff, gets constantly defensive, doesn't seem to put a whole lot of effort into communication, doesn't seem willing ... (read in full...)
Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 25 June 2016: Maybe it makes THEM feel good?
Maybe they are SO full or confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit? Or they want other to think that?
Maybe it's part of their "sub-culture"? (think Jersey shores)
Maybe it gives them a sense of "f... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of not locking the door. Why would he become be so accusatory towards me??
Q. I just moved into an apartment with a room-mate. And there's been a situation that I would like your opinion on: My room-mate came home after being gone for a week, and discovers some boxes for him on his bed, that he ordered. So he asks me if I ...
A. 25 June 2016: Definitely time to look elsewhere for a room/place to live.
Who the HAY HAY thinks a delivery service will get out a ladder and put packages through an open window? And how would they know which bedroom is his?
It's preposterous and... (read in full...)
Will a man in a sexless, long term marriage eventually have sex with another woman?
Q. I have a question and I am curious about what the opinions are out there. If a man is in a long term relationship or marriage and his wife was no longer willing to have sex (ie. she never did like it to begin with, she no longer likes it) with h...
A. 25 June 2016: I think it depends on the couple, the marriage and how they can find other ways to be intimate.
I also think it comes down to their level of communication.
Do I think a marriage without sex can work? Yes, but I think it's rare.
... (read in full...)
Before I met her she had sex with my cousin. How do I get over this fact?
Q. I met this girl months ago and we've been dating since them, i'm really trying to forget and avoid jealousy but it's not easy! The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me too much! I think about breaking up but i love her...
A. 25 June 2016: I think you should end it before you two get into deep. You can't seem to accept the fact that she HAS a past and that IN her past she was with your cousin.
SO what? Is it because he is family that it bothers you or would that be ANY guy she has ... (read in full...)
Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.
Q. I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...
A. 25 June 2016: If YOU are no longer interested in him, text or call to tell him. Ghosting is "easy" but also so not classy in my book. It's such a cowardice way to end things.
If you ARE still interested but your imagination are reading a little too much bet... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!
Q. I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...
A. 24 June 2016: I'm fully with YouWish.
He may have a fat fetish, but it's about control. CONTROL over you. CONTROL over your body.
Don't ruin your health like this to please a guy. Losing over 100 lbs in a few months? VERY VERY unhealthy. Gaining weight f... (read in full...)
I probably shouldn't take him back. Is what I did to him worse than what he did to me?
Q. I was involved with my ex-boyfriend for many years we are friends first so I've known him a really long time. We know each other very very well. He had some substance abuse issues and during that time cheated on me multiple occasions. When I fi...
A. 24 June 2016: Take back your power. Not just about this guy but ANY man you date.
HAVE standards, boundaries and deal-breakers and STICK to them. If you don't want to be with a cheater... then END it the FIRST time you find out he cheated, don't keep on "forg... (read in full...)
I probably shouldn't take him back. Is what I did to him worse than what he did to me?
Q. I was involved with my ex-boyfriend for many years we are friends first so I've known him a really long time. We know each other very very well. He had some substance abuse issues and during that time cheated on me multiple occasions. When I fi...
A. 24 June 2016: I have to agree with SVC
Don't take him back. You two have a negative influence on each other, what he did to you was detrimental to the relationship and something that YOU can't fix. You couldn't trust him then, you can't trust him now. He cheat... (read in full...)
Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?
Q. I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...
A. 24 June 2016: I wouldn't ask her out again, unless you want to be rejected again.
While her reaction was polite, it was also pretty much a no, thanks I don't want to go out with you. A no means no. In any form.
She isn't interested in you in that way.
If ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?
Q. Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap? There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am. When I very first started working there he...
A. 24 June 2016: Ewww I get such a high creep factor from your post (about him).
Sorry, I don't find him cute or charming either. I agree with the uncle and the aunties he is a VERY immature 32 year old.
I think he is hoping to "bag" a young girl (you) and n... (read in full...)
Does he feel rejected? I'd like to know, how can this be fixed?
Q. I have a weird situation and need opinions please.. Talked to this guy online, Skype, phone for three years(I know I know "you never met him")... But it was budding pen pals to friends to romantic interest. There was a possibility of s...
A. 24 June 2016: I think this is more than just "bad planning". He expected you to ask how high when he said jump. And he got mad when you didn't. Absolutely unfair. You don't mention the country, but most people would NOT feel super confident driving 3 hours by ... (read in full...)
How can I fit in with new work colleagues? Some are not very nice
Q. Some of our departments have merged at work, whats a good way to get along with new colleagues? Edit None of us new to the workplace but 1/3 of us ( maybe 13 of us) have moved to new much bigger a...
A. 24 June 2016: Stick to being you, being polite, professional and nice to everyone regardless of their age and "cliquishness factor" and I think you will be fine.
I agree with Aunty BimBim it's a bat bad on the HR/management dept. that they didn't have a few "g... (read in full...)
Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?
Q. I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...
A. 24 June 2016: Nothing wrong in trying. Rejections always sucks, but don't let it hold you back in the future.... just MAYBE consider looking for women to date OUTSIDE of the workplace.
I feels it's just more professional that way, and less awkward when it doesn... (read in full...)
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