Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 17 June 2018: Well, then you just check him of your "to do list or the I wish I had reached out list".
It's OK. Not all guy you meet will be interested to the same level as you. It happens, the things is to NOT waste time on the ones YOU have no interest... (read in full...)
How do I end this pathetic relationship without him turning it all around on me?
Q. Hi I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 year old daughter together the relationship is pathetic between us there’s no affection he sleeps on the sofa does everything to avoid spending time with us it’s always me doing everything for ...
A. 7 June 2018: Does it matter if he CHOOSES to try and turn it around on you?
YOU know what the real deal is. He is USELESS as a partner. Yes, he works and bring home some money but other than that he has NOTHING to offer. No affection, no help, no support,... (read in full...)
I think she thinks we are in a full-blown relationship!
Q. DearCupid, I've been good friends with this girl for 2 years. We hang out on a pretty regular basis with our group of friends. One night she told me she liked me over text messages. I told her I liked her too. We talked about setting up a dat...
A. 6 June 2018: The sooner you have a chat WITH her about this (and PLEASE not in front of other friends!) the better.
Tell her you feel things are moving to fast for you, that you aren't sure you are ready for a relationship and that YOU shouldn't have kissed a... (read in full...)
How do I distract myself from his absence?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 4 months now and he is going on vacation for 6 weeks. What should I do during that time that won't make me sad or depressed that he is gone?...
A. 5 June 2018: Be busy!
In those 6 weeks you can do ALL kind of things so when you DO get a chance to talk you have SOMETHING to talk about.
Maybe you will make a book list of X amount of books to read over summer. Like a List of the classics. Or you... (read in full...)
Do I tell my wife about my bisexuality?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a male in my mid-30's and married, but I want to be able to admit to myself that I may be bi-sexual. I'm attracted to men like I am to women, but I love watching gay anal and shemale porn as well as straight porn. I have also had ...
A. 5 June 2018: I think ones partner is the one to share things with. Intimate things. BUT I think it's also important to make sure she knows that YOU being bi-sexual isn't going to change anything as you believe in monogamy in a marriage.
That sharing is great... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has given up on her ambitions.
Q. Hi everyone I've been in a relationship for about 2 years now and it's all going well, we are compatible in most ways however there is one thing that bugs me. That thing is a lack of ambition, drive, motivation etc. It's quite common to hea...
A. 5 June 2018: I honestly think it's fair enough NOT wanting to carry the entire financial burden in the future.
And I think that was one of the reason you were attracted to her in the beginning, because she ALSO were ambitious.
I would venture a guess ... (read in full...)
Tales of attraction, games, betrayal and the wifes condundrum
Q. Seeking some guidance around my husbands relationship with a highly promiscuous, devious and highly NARCISSISTIC Slor€ (that's her appropriately allocated nickname btw from her own family - which I was told in advance meant slut crs whore because ...
A. 5 June 2018: OP, I'm sorry you are hurting but you ARE making the classic mistake most women make when a partner/soon-to-be ex or whatnot is sleeping around. YOU are blaming and name-calling the other woman.
She didn't OWE you a play by play of what your ex-... (read in full...)
My coworker admitted his feelings for me
Q. Help my coworker admitted to having feelings for me! Brief scenario - we sit next to each other in the office and at first I thought he was nice( I treat him the same way as the other guys) innocent jokes etc. I did notice he likes to blame o...
A. 5 June 2018: 1. Keep dating out of the work place.
2. stay far away from guys with a partner/GF/wife/fiance/BF
I agree that you need to rein in just how much personal stuff you share with the office.
If he brings it up again in any way, no need to lie ... (read in full...)
I smelled like latex when only using lube and no condom after sex with my girlfriend
Q. After having sex a couple of times with my gf at the time, we didn't use condoms, and this was our first time together in a few months, since we live apart (I also noticed it once more that week, but not as strong, and one other time prior), I ...
A. 5 June 2018: Yep, Like Cindy mentioned GP is your doctor.
Well, I can see why she wasn't happy with the implied accusation.
Don't forget BOTH sperm and stuff like astroglide can easily change the PH in the vagina and who knows how that affects HER scen... (read in full...)
I smelled like latex when only using lube and no condom after sex with my girlfriend
Q. After having sex a couple of times with my gf at the time, we didn't use condoms, and this was our first time together in a few months, since we live apart (I also noticed it once more that week, but not as strong, and one other time prior), I ...
A. 5 June 2018: Have you considered asking your GP?
... (read in full...)
I'm scared of dentists, will this treatment hurt?
Q. Hi guys I need some advice and also other peoples experience on my problem... When I last went to the dentist I had an X-ray and it should i have an impacted wisdom tooth at the back of my bottom tooth, I have had he odd pain but then nothing for ...
A. 4 June 2018: I will second the Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas) as Code Warrior mentioned. JUST make sure you have someone to drive you home. You will be groggy and goofy.
... (read in full...)
We've been together 6 years my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me and goes out of her way to show her dislike. I can't take it!
Q. Any advice would be really helpful as I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend’s mum hates me and she makes me feel worthless and useless and actually has really upset me. My boyfriend has spoken to her several times in the past 6years and told her ...
A. 4 June 2018: OP, here is the thing.
This woman has decided she doesn't like you and NO WILD horses will change her mind. She doesn't CARE if she hurts you (I think she enjoys it very much) but she also understand she can "only" go so far or she might lose her... (read in full...)
Is she interested? Or did she just want a little bit of fun?
Q. Try to keep this brief! Male, 44, been single eight years (I don't want children or to be a step parent, which makes it very difficult). Have several female friends, one of whom is 47 and been single eight months and has been away studying fo...
A. 4 June 2018: I think... "she just a bit all over the shop" as you call it.
She seems a bit unsure of what she wants but I think she doesn't want to give up the friendship for something casual and who knows if you two would actually be a good fit as a couple..... (read in full...)
I cheated in the past he doesn't trust me and now things are off. What can I do?
Q. Dear cupid,about 4years ago, i was in a long distance relationship with Ray(not his real name). The relationship didnt mean much to me because he was my rebound and the distance wasnt what i needed but at that time i wasn’t thinking. This resulted ...
A. 4 June 2018: Sorry, OP...
You did this to yourself.
Have you READ your own post? Even if Ray "originally" was just a rebound you cheated is not OK. And for you to start talking to other guys when Ray treats you with disrespect, it's NOT OK either!
While... (read in full...)
We never go anywhere and my boyfriend even sleeps in the spare room.
Q. Hi everyone I’m in a relationship now for 4 and a half years the problem is it’s so boring we never go anywhere together it’s the same routine everyday I try to get him to come places with me but he’s never interested we have only been out a handful ...
A. 4 June 2018: I have to ask do you WANT a room-mate or a life-partner? Because what you have... is a room-mate.
Life is for living.
You want to go out and see and do things, SO DO just that. Either WITH this guy, by yourself, with friends OR... down the l... (read in full...)
I'm scared of dentists, will this treatment hurt?
Q. Hi guys I need some advice and also other peoples experience on my problem... When I last went to the dentist I had an X-ray and it should i have an impacted wisdom tooth at the back of my bottom tooth, I have had he odd pain but then nothing for ...
A. 4 June 2018: My husband went through this last month. He first went in for x-rays (don't hurt) and got antibiotics like YCBS mentioned and this week he had the tooth pulled. Did it hurt? He said not really, until afterwards while i healed but that is NORMAL.
... (read in full...)
I smelled like latex when only using lube and no condom after sex with my girlfriend
Q. After having sex a couple of times with my gf at the time, we didn't use condoms, and this was our first time together in a few months, since we live apart (I also noticed it once more that week, but not as strong, and one other time prior), I ...
A. 4 June 2018: I really can't say if "something in there" mixed with astogel can make it smell like latex. Who knows? It would not make sense for any woman to not clean "in there" between partners or at least once a day.
So the smell being seemingly latex, I... (read in full...)
My ex said some things, now I feel so low and worthless.
Q. I am feeling low and hurt. I split from my boyfriend around 5 months ago and got odd texts from him now and then. Anyway started to accept it was over and to start building my life again when put the blue my ex text me to say he was really ill and ...
A. 3 June 2018: OP, you sound like a decent and good person but your ex is not only sick, he is VILE.
BLOCK his number and then delete it.
Stop letting someone treat you like this. All the negative things he said to you were HIM talking about himself really. ... (read in full...)
What can I do, I realise now me and my baby moving in with boyfriend and his mother was a big mistake.
Q. So long story short I lived with my boyfriend and his mom after we had our daughter at 3 months she is now 5 years old so I really thought we would of had our own place by now but my boyfriend (her Dad) has been on/off job I'm just so tired of my ...
A. 3 June 2018: Well, time to figure out how you 3 can move out and BE your own little family.
While I respect people who CHOOSES to be Vegans or Vegetarians if you eat at my house I don't CATER to that. What I make, you (as a guest/child/spouse) can choose t... (read in full...)
She wants to meet up, what will she expect? Am I overthinking this?
Q. Hey I have been talking to this girl online for roughly 3 weeks. We matched on dating app. I’m 27 and she is 36. First time I have flirted with someone few years older and it has been a pleasant surprise. We have been talking a lot, common ...
A. 3 June 2018: Her age is not a huge deal (for now) So I wouldn't focus on that. I think meeting her in person would be a good idea as you can see if there is a mutual attraction and how well you get on in person.
With that said, DO not meet at your place. M... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if the relationship is over or just going through a slump.
Q. Been in a long distance relationship for 4 years now.. too long. In the past 4 years, we started out visiting eachother every other month, then after 2 years, visits were every 3-4 nonths. Now we visit twice a year. In the beginning of our ...
A. 3 June 2018: I think the relationship has run it's course. There is no future here.
If he in 2-3 years!!! couldn't secure a job where you are at... how hard did he try? Or how possible is it that he EVER will get one near you? Like you said, it's minimal ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife things are broken even though love is still there?
Q. Hi everyone. I've come to you all for advice before and recieved a mixture of abuse, passive aggression and sexism. I ask you please to respond as if yuo are the shriks you claim to be! Me and my wife have been together 14 years. We have no kids ...
A. 3 June 2018: None of us are shrinks so take that with a grain of salt...
IF you are not happy and feel like cheating is how you fix your marriage, why NOT just ask for a divorce?
Be single. Date around.
You can love someone and NOT be a good fit. And y... (read in full...)
I’m sexually frustrated in my married! Advice?
Q. hey id like to clear my thoughts and get an opinion. here goes, right ive been in a relationship for 14 years and we have 4 kids together. i no im probably going to get told i shouldnt read whats on the internet but its there and what i read is ...
A. 3 June 2018: I absolutely get your frustration.
And going to the gym is NOT really for her sake, it's for YOURS. If you can do it WITH her great, if not... then go by yourself. It might make YOU feel better about YOURSELF. It's not about being fat or overweig... (read in full...)
Is it really a big deal that I didn't call?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy (no official relationship) for a few months. We were old friends who got really close and started a romance. He did the chasing and I finally caught feelings after a while. We would hang out all the time. He would call me ...
A. 2 June 2018: The thing about a vacation is also to relax, so I absolutely support a no-tech approach.
Your first priority is your child. NOT him. That's how life is for a parent.
So don't feel you did something "wrong" after all you PLAYED by HIS rules tha... (read in full...)
How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 2 June 2018: Don't give her money/cash. If her kids go hungry and you money to spare FOOD/Groceries should be PLENTY. That was SELFISH of her to want cash. Either it was because she LIED about not having food for the kids... or she wanted cash so she can spend ... (read in full...)
Am I rushing things, I've never had a long distance relationship before.
Q. So I’m in an unfamiliar dating situation and looking for advice (apologies for the long story below!) Back in January, I matched with a guy on a dating app. He was from my hometown and we had mutual friends, but we’d never come across each othe...
A. 2 June 2018: Where do you really see this going?
If he works overseas and is only home every so often for a week (which he fills up with plans with friends and family before heading home) how much ACTUAL face-to-face time with you does he really have?
... (read in full...)
My sister and my boyfriend lied about having sex while we were courting.
Q. So my sister was having some marital problems and she met this guy who she confided in and he gave her some advice well atleast that's what she told me. I was single for approximately for years. She introduced this guy to me after some months and ...
A. 2 June 2018: I would cut him off 100%.
And I would do the same with your sister. A SISTER shouldn't lie to you about something like this. She shouldn't USE you to hide the "lover" and she shouldn't have pushed him on you, so she could still see him and peop... (read in full...)
I smelled like latex when only using lube and no condom after sex with my girlfriend
Q. After having sex a couple of times with my gf at the time, we didn't use condoms, and this was our first time together in a few months, since we live apart (I also noticed it once more that week, but not as strong, and one other time prior), I ...
A. 2 June 2018: Why does the smell alter at times?
Because the PH does alter throughout the menstrual cycle. If she DID have BV she could have passed that on to you and you passed it back to her because you didn't use CONDOMS. Some minor bacterial changes ... (read in full...)
Is it really a big deal that I didn't call?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy (no official relationship) for a few months. We were old friends who got really close and started a romance. He did the chasing and I finally caught feelings after a while. We would hang out all the time. He would call me ...
A. 2 June 2018: While I don't think you HAD to call him during that week, I don't think it's entirely true that you didn't have the time to do so. After all, your son is 2 so my guess is he is not UP as long as you are and a 10 minute call or some daily texts to ... (read in full...)
Do I keep believing him after his string of lies?
Q. Long story short, over the past month, my husband has been caught in a string of lies. First lie is when he told me he called his buddy but later found out he called a female coworker to congratulate her for this cover she got for a magazine. Odd ...
A. 2 June 2018: How CAN you believe anything coming out of his mouth?
He doesn't want you to meet her because she is not really a friend... yet he couldn't talk to her on the phone in front of you, bought her a $200 gift and visited her at least twice while cl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont spend quality time with me
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a relationship with this guy for a little over 2 years now. We both just recently graduated high school. We have always been the couple everyone said will last forever and the couple everyone looked at as perfect. Lately ...
A. 1 June 2018: I think at your age it's more common that a BF/GF is NOT the top priority. It shouldn't be.
However, as you stated you have both FINISHED high school and well, college, trade school or whatnot, lies ahead - you two might go to different geograph... (read in full...)
Can someone explain why I’m scared of this new relationship?
Q. I'm very confused with my behavior as of late and wish I could understand the underlying psychology here. I dated someone who was good to me for the first 3 weeks and then it was a like switch flipped. He stopped caring and pursuing me and ...
A. 1 June 2018: I agree, CUT the contact with the ex. The relationship was not a healthy one. And there is NOT NEED for you to keep tabs on him.
I think the reason you are still fixated on your lousy ex is because you are having a hard time ACCEPT that he didn'... (read in full...)
How do I regain my self confidence?
Q. After being in a long marriage and meeting a new man how do I regain confidence in myself as a sexual woman . My ex showed little attraction to me despite all efforts I made to be attractive and my new man is great but has a strong like for porn ...
A. 31 May 2018: I agree with Code Warrior,
I don't think this guy is right or "good" for you.
Beauty isn't the only thing men want from a woman (and those who ONLY want that... well, they are kind of shallow and NEVER satisfied anyways). So mourning your "l... (read in full...)
I’m sexually frustrated in my married! Advice?
Q. hey id like to clear my thoughts and get an opinion. here goes, right ive been in a relationship for 14 years and we have 4 kids together. i no im probably going to get told i shouldnt read whats on the internet but its there and what i read is ...
A. 31 May 2018: I agree with FA.
Time to plan for YOU to get out on the work market too. You didn't mention how young your kids are so that part is a little hard to advice on.
If you stay at home 7 days a week, 24 hours a day with 4 KIDS, no wonder you are f... (read in full...)
Would I be a complete cow if I don't help my ex boyfriend with his drug problems?
Q. My close friend has recently let me know that my ex boyfriend is going wild with drugs and alcohol and that he is worried about him. When I was with this boyfriend, I managed to convince him to only do drugs every so often and just weed, nothing ...
A. 31 May 2018: OP, you can't MAKE him stop doing what HE wants to do. Now even his mother can.
You might have had some effect on him cutting down on his drugs but he didn't ever stop, not for you and not for himself. And... here is the thing, you have no idea ... (read in full...)
Been dating for 4 years but an old flame has returned, and so have the feelings.
Q. Hi everyone, I've got a serious relationship problem I really need some help with! I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He's caring, kind, affectionate and I really do love him. However, our relationship lacks passion and we have little s...
A. 31 May 2018: Yep, I think both the uncles have hit the nail on the head.
You AGREED to not chat to other guys when you got with your BF, so what has changed that now "allows" you to do so? Why is it OK now?
*hint* it's not.
The fact that you have vacat... (read in full...)
I’ve made an ultimatum for my cheating husband. Is it reasonable?
Q. Hello Cupids, Short question. My husband, who I have been with for 13 years, compulsively cheats on me. Last time, I kicked him out and begged him to get therapy, which he said he would. He didn’t, but kept telling me he planned to. Things got b...
A. 31 May 2018: EDIT....
Are your "demands" resolvable? Sure.
Should have read :
Are your "demands" reasonable? Sure.
Guess spellcheck hit me too!!
... (read in full...)
I’ve made an ultimatum for my cheating husband. Is it reasonable?
Q. Hello Cupids, Short question. My husband, who I have been with for 13 years, compulsively cheats on me. Last time, I kicked him out and begged him to get therapy, which he said he would. He didn’t, but kept telling me he planned to. Things got b...
A. 31 May 2018: Are your "demands" resolvable? Sure.
Realistic? No.
This is a habit with him. You have even called it compulsory yourself so you KNOW there is a tiny tiny chance that he will EVER change.
Have you ever tried quitting smoking? Eating junkfood... (read in full...)
My sister’s husband is my ex from high school and he is rude to my boyfriend! And my boyfriend is frustrated by this and that he has to deal with an ex of mine!
Q. Hello my sister is now married to my ex boyfriend. We broke up in our early 20s. I'm not trying to make myself out to be God's gift to men but he was fixated on me since high school. Flash forward to 2008 and they get married. My sister has isolated ...
A. 30 May 2018: I agree with Code Warrior that you CAN NOT control how people act. Not your sister's husband nor your own BF.
However, your BF needs to stop focusing on the fact that the BIL is your ex. It does seem like YOUR BF also like to create a little d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wants to meet him for coffee!
Q. My boyfriend asked me if I would be okay if he met his ex for coffee. His ex reached out to him wanting to catch up while she is in town for some official business. My boyfriend's ex ended their relationship a year ago and is currently seeing ...
A. 30 May 2018: Well, all you can do is trust and hope he is worthy of that trust.
And yes, meeting an ex can bring the past to the surface but it might also show him how much better a fit you and he is.
I think it was good that you told him you are a bit un... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wants to meet him for coffee!
Q. My boyfriend asked me if I would be okay if he met his ex for coffee. His ex reached out to him wanting to catch up while she is in town for some official business. My boyfriend's ex ended their relationship a year ago and is currently seeing ...
A. 30 May 2018: It's your life, your choice and... honestly... your BF's choice.
While I think it's nice that he asked you, I don't feel he really HAD to ask you. Personally, I think he should have just declined without asking anyone. To me asking your partner ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 29 May 2018: I agree with the JUST MESSAGE him and see what happens. Just ask him if he is still interested in meeting up for drinks and what day might work for him.
That way he has AMPLE way of showing interest or turning you down politely.
And if he doe... (read in full...)
How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 6 April 2018: You did nothing wrong in wanting to spoil them and show them love. Don't feel bad for that. You reached out and open your heart to them, don't feel bad for that either.
Let THEM do the work if they want to continue getting reacquainted again. I... (read in full...)
How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 6 April 2018: I'm sorry, this has got to be very hard on you and I will try to be as gentle as possible here.
You are a stranger to them, regardless of a lovely Christmas. They grew up not knowing you, maybe with some curiosity and maybe with some negative... (read in full...)
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